Aah, married love

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coralewisjr

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DH and I were talking about our relationship yesterday. We realized that our marriage is probably so successful (I hope I can say this right) partially because we fight so much about inconsequential things. Luke makes me laugh several times each day, which is good because I’ve been accused of being too serious and I’ve been told to “lighten up.” When we are struggling with something (whether or not it’s related to the other person), we have a code word that we use to tell each other to drop everything and talk heart-to-heart. We noticed that a married couple in our parish with at least three children teases each other a lot and their love is very deep. Luke and I tease each other a lot, too. We might sound mean to others but after a few seconds or minutes, we both crack up laughing. Is your great marriage like this? Do you have any fun stories to share?

Here’s an interesting story for you. Luke and I met in college. We’re both computer nerds. We spent a ton of time together after I stopped thinking he was really weird (actually I still think he’s really weird), and we enjoyed physically fighting - wrestling, punching, that kind of thing. We still have fun doing that sometimes, though of course we have to tone it down so we don’t injure preborn Baby.

my Mother my Confidence,
Corinne
 
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coralewisjr:
partially because we fight so much about inconsequential things. …, and we enjoyed physically fighting - wrestling, punching, that kind of thing. We still have fun doing that sometimes, though of course we have to tone it down so we don’t injure preborn Baby.

my Mother my Confidence,
Corinne
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And you think this is OK?
~ Kathy ~ :confused:
 
Play fighting…is what she means. DH and I do that too…it’s fun. As long as it doesn’t get too out of hand which it doesn’t. I used to wrestle in highschool and taught DH some cool moves. It’s all fun and games. He would never hit me to hurt me and I wouldn’t do it to him.
 
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sarcophagus:
… As long as it doesn’t get too out of hand which it doesn’t. … He would never hit me to hurt me and I wouldn’t do it to him.
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I suppose I don’t understand "play hurting "…makes no sense…
~Kathy ~
 
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Katie1723:
I suppose I don’t understand "play hurting "…makes no sense…
~Kathy ~
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Poor Kathy! You must have grown up without brothers.

my Mother my Confidence,
Corinne
 
Play fighting or boxing is fun! I usually win 'cause DH is 6’5" and I am 5’3" and can get in and under better.
After 16 years, he still makes me belly laugh when I least expect it.
I love him!
 
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coralewisjr:
Poor Kathy! You must have grown up without brothers.

my Mother my Confidence,
Corinne
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Au contrair…I had 4 brothers. But I still don’t believe in “Play fighting” between spouses.
** ~ Kathy ~**
 
I understand what the original poster is saying. My husband and I like to tease each other. I have the deepest respect for my hubby and I am confident that he feels the same way about me, that is probably why we don’t get offended with each other. After a while you learn the other person’s limits and know the subjects that would be hurtful as opposed to just funny. You avoid joking about those subjects, of course. It is a type of flirting really.
 
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deb1:
I understand what the original poster is saying. My husband and I like to tease each other. I have the deepest respect for my hubby and I am confident that he feels the same way about me, that is probably why we don’t get offended with each other.
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I agree…teasing is fun. And your key word is “respect” Somehow I don’t think trying to explain “play punching” as being fun, to someone who has been “really punched” would be funny or respectful.
~ Kathy ~
And NO, I have never been the victim of domestic violence. I just see it all the time on the job.
 
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coralewisjr:
Here’s an interesting story for you. Luke and I met in college. We’re both computer nerds. We spent a ton of time together after I stopped thinking he was really weird (actually I still think he’s really weird), and we enjoyed physically fighting - wrestling, punching, that kind of thing. We still have fun doing that sometimes, though of course we have to tone it down so we don’t injure preborn Baby.

my Mother my Confidence,
Corinne
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That’s not fighting that’s flirting. Hubby and I do that too. He usually wins for the obvious reason that he’s stonger and can pin me down. A few times I have been able to roll and make him fall off the bed.
I win! 😃
 
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rayne89:
That’s not fighting that’s flirting.
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It is?!?! :bigyikes:
Surely it wasn’t flirting when I dropped let the umbrella fall on her head when I was bored (back before we really even met… and before I had any interest in any kind of relationship with anyone)… right? 🤓
 
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Luke-Jr:
It is?!?! :bigyikes:
Surely it wasn’t flirting when I dropped let the umbrella fall on her head when I was bored (back before we really even met… and before I had any interest in any kind of relationship with anyone)… right? 🤓
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Yeah, he’s probably given me a head injury here or there. It’s okay, we’re both crazy. LOL I love being married! Even when I’m trying to sleep and he’s still talking or cuddling…

my Mother my Confidence,
Corinne
 
Sounds like quite a stormy marriage. 😃 But I loved the tale. Marriage is a battlefield. 😃 Well, *(“http://www.chevalier.boo.pl/yt.jpg”) obviously need a fencer for a wife. 😉 I will also most surely enjoy some tooth and nail in a “situation which warrants it”. 😃

How about computer games – strategy or shooters?
 
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chevalier:
Sounds like quite a stormy marriage. 😃 But I loved the tale. Marriage is a battlefield. 😃 Well, *(“http://www.chevalier.boo.pl/yt.jpg”) obviously need a fencer for a wife. 😉 I will also most surely enjoy some tooth and nail in a “situation which warrants it”. 😃

How about computer games – strategy or shooters?
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LOL funny picture! Pray for your future wife every day and ask a few saints for help, too:
St. Catherine of Siena
St. Valentine
St. Joseph, Mary’s husband
our Lady

my Mother my Confidence,
Corinne
 
In case some of those reading this think we’re a bunch of crazy loons. When I “wrestle” with hubby we’re not angry at each other. I’ve never up and smacked hubby in the middle of a real arguement, and he certainly hasn’t done that to me either.

Actually it is rare occasion that we have a real arguement, I mean the kind when we’re angry at each other. We do goof off and play fight frequently.

Ok goofy example:
When hubby cooks breakfast on the weekends he has this “thing” about no one snacking on the bacon or anything else that’s cooked until it’s all finished and on the table. And inevidably I will grab a peice of bacon to snack on while waiting. If he sees me reach for it he’ll take his spatula (that his using to make an omellette) and smack my hand out of the way.
If I get a piece and he sees me with a peice of bacon it’ll go something like this.
“Did you snag a piece of bacon?”(hubby)
“No” I smile innocently (while chewing).
“I know you did.”
“Yeah?” I get up in his face “And what if I did? What are you gonna do about it?” sounding like a mafia boss.
“Oh you don’t want to know.”
“Oh yeah, maybe I do.” raising an eyebrow flirtatiously.
He’ll grab me and I’'ll try to get away. Then he’ll start tickling me, I’ll scream and our 9 year old will come and “rescue” me by tickling daddy back.

That’s play fighting guys. ( I can’t believe I just explained that scenario :o -the things I tell people on this forum.)
 
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coralewisjr:
Poor Kathy! You must have grown up without brothers.

my Mother my Confidence,
Corinne
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Yup!

I had 4! I understand perfectly!

DH & I have this little thing - kinda stoopid really, but it always makes us laugh. Whenever we both say the same thing, we used to say “pinch poke you owe me a coke,” but over the last 25 years it’s evolved into some unintelligble babble with kind of a secret handshake. We do it all the time. It’s our secret joke! 🙂
 
I’m wondering if this is the posters first child?

I know that with my marriage it was…all amazing, and heart throbbing, stars, fights that ended with kisses, etc.

Along came one, two, three and four kids and a few miscarriages, job losses, money stresses, deaths in the family, and ah, sometimes I asked myself…“what did I get myself into?” 😃

After 12 years of marriage, my husband is my best friend but we are not the same people we were in the beginning, we have been through several “wars” 🙂

There were times, I did not know who this man I married was, there have been emotional ups and downs, children who have been so sick, we have been up all night, times I feel I am doing All the parenting…etc. etc.

I’m happy the poster is happy, but, remember, there will be times, as the years go by, that it won’t always be so easy, sweet, wonderful, and that is what will bond you to your husband,
when the times are so hard, you don’t know if you can take one more minute but you stay and work and make it go, when money is so tight, you don’t know what you will do, when the kids are demanding every minute of you and your husband gets none of you, but he understands, I’ve only been married a mere 12 years, I only know that, children are a huge blessing but they also will take a huge toll on your marriage, it changes it, for the better of course, but in time, you become different, I know, my husband is not the same man I dated or even the same man, from before we had our kids, he is a better man.

I know, I am not the same woman he dated, but I hope I am a better woman.

My parents just celebrated their 40 year wedding anniv.
I am very close to them, but, from having heart to heart talks, I know that the past 40 years have been nothing easy, there will be ups and downs, kids that turn to teens that will test your will to love, parents pass away, etc. etc. it all effects the strength of your marriage.

I just want the original poster to remember, that, its awesome right now and that is great but there will be times that it won’t always be awesome, and that is when you will really be tested, that is when you go back to the memories that you created, the vows you took.

I guess, this posts reminds me of myself 12 years ago, I am not the same person, and my marriage is not like that anymore, but it is deep, true, something I depend on, treasure, it grows deeper in Gods love each day, its not silly anymore, and we don’t goof off much either. But it is still good and I would not trade it, but there were times, early on, after the first two kids, I did not know if I would make it, it wasn’t as fun, as it once was, but you just stick it out and it gets better, and as the years go by, and you face each challenge together, your bond will grow very strong and your husband will be apart of you as much as your own arm or leg, you will be ONE, for me, that is the most amazing treasure.

Good Luck.
 
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kamz:
I’m wondering if this is the posters first child?

I know that with my marriage it was…all amazing, and heart throbbing, stars, fights that ended with kisses, etc.

Along came one, two, three and four kids and a few miscarriages, job losses, money stresses, deaths in the family, and ah, sometimes I asked myself…“what did I get myself into?” 😃

After 12 years of marriage, my husband is my best friend but we are not the same people we were in the beginning, we have been through several “wars” 🙂

There were times, I did not know who this man I married was, there have been emotional ups and downs, children who have been so sick, we have been up all night, times I feel I am doing All the parenting…etc. etc.

I’m happy the poster is happy, but, remember, there will be times, as the years go by, that it won’t always be so easy, sweet, wonderful, and that is what will bond you to your husband,
when the times are so hard, you don’t know if you can take one more minute but you stay and work and make it go, when money is so tight, you don’t know what you will do, when the kids are demanding every minute of you and your husband gets none of you, but he understands, I’ve only been married a mere 12 years, I only know that, children are a huge blessing but they also will take a huge toll on your marriage, it changes it, for the better of course, but in time, you become different, I know, my husband is not the same man I dated or even the same man, from before we had our kids, he is a better man.

I know, I am not the same woman he dated, but I hope I am a better woman.

My parents just celebrated their 40 year wedding anniv.
I am very close to them, but, from having heart to heart talks, I know that the past 40 years have been nothing easy, there will be ups and downs, kids that turn to teens that will test your will to love, parents pass away, etc. etc. it all effects the strength of your marriage.

I just want the original poster to remember, that, its awesome right now and that is great but there will be times that it won’t always be awesome, and that is when you will really be tested, that is when you go back to the memories that you created, the vows you took.

I guess, this posts reminds me of myself 12 years ago, I am not the same person, and my marriage is not like that anymore, but it is deep, true, something I depend on, treasure, it grows deeper in Gods love each day, its not silly anymore, and we don’t goof off much either. But it is still good and I would not trade it, but there were times, early on, after the first two kids, I did not know if I would make it, it wasn’t as fun, as it once was, but you just stick it out and it gets better, and as the years go by, and you face each challenge together, your bond will grow very strong and your husband will be apart of you as much as your own arm or leg, you will be ONE, for me, that is the most amazing treasure.

Good Luck.
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Yes, Baby is our first child.
Believe me, we’ve been through hard times. Also, I remember a few years ago when my parents almost divorced. (Thanks be to God, they did not.) I pray every day for DH and I know that he prays for me. I want us to be happily married for years. I know that I can’t imagine how hard raising children will be but it is worth it because it’s what God made me to do and DH will be here with me every step of the way. Even if one of us should die before the other, we’re sure that the one in heaven will be praying for the other. I hope that our relationship only gets better with time. Our marriage is so good because of others’ prayers, our prayers, our shared interests, and our sense of humor.

my Mother my Confidence,
Corinne

P.S. If my parents survived my teenage years and they’re surviving my younger brothers’ teenage years, we will, too.
P.P.S. Here’s a secret: do the marital embrace with lots of prayer!
 
ok, I checked coralewisjr profile, if I am correct, you are about 20?

Wow, yep, I remember that time, I was 19 when I got married and had my first child, oh, to be youg, at 31, I actually feel old 😃

I know I was pretty silly, goofy, etc. like you when I was 20, I guess, time, marriage, four kids, have changed me.

I don’t mean to seem so down or stuffy, I guess, its because I’ve been through a lot in the past 12 years, I have suffered miscarriages, had children in the hosptial so sick I thought I would lose my mind with worry, trips to the emergency room with kids, job losses, deaths in the family that hurt so bad that I didn’t think I would make it, I can see that these things have most certainly taken their toll as does the day in day out rewards and demands of raising four children while my husband works 12 hour days.
So, I do know where the poster is coming from, she is still so young, and those are really fun times, it seems like forever since I was that young and full of such excitement.

Now, I’m more tired, up half the night with a 2 year old with an ear infection, dealing with a pre teen girl, who thinks she knows everything. But, yes, I do remember what it was like to be first married and that excitement that comes with it.
Somedays I miss that but I don’t want to go back, I would not want to have to live it again, all the things you go through in life.

But, I don’t want to be a downer either, so don’t take an older mom too serioulsy, I’ll talk to you in 12 years and see how your doing, that will be very interesting 😃 😃
 
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