Aah, married love

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Rob's Wife:
I know exactly what the poster means (well except for the punching) My dh would never ever even play “hit” a female and he would come seriously “unglued” if any of our sons did.
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Finally…someone who understands what I am saying! It is just as easy to be nice to someone as it is to be “mean”. After all, would you buy your child a "play "gun if he/she asked?
~ Kathy ~
 
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kamz:
I think its fine, I think its great, but having to post about it?

I like holding hands with my hubby, I love when my hubby rubs my back and tells me he loves me, I love when we go out on a date and act like two teens in love, but it is private, it is personal, I don’t have to tell the world, if they see it fine, but I don’t need to put it out there to say “hey look”

And maybe that is just me, maybe I’m very old fashioned, but I was brought up that certain things should be kept between a husband and a wife, does that mean we don’t show love when out in public? Of course not, we laugh, hold hands, hold our kids hands, we wink at eachother etc. but what goes on in our home, is for us, my husband certainly would not want me on a message board telling special things that are important to him and I, then how special is it? Does he want me to tell the pet names we have? NO, that is special, that is for him, me, and God.

Hey, sorry, I just think some things are better left in your own mind or if you really need to tell, tell your best girlfriend, sister or mom, I just think, it is really private.

I just know I would die if my husband sat at work and talked about me and our marriage and special things between us and our kids, that is personal, that is something we have created for our family, doesn’t the world get way too much of people the way it is?

Why are some things not kept personal anymore :confused:
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You sound like you have a good marriage. I certainly hope that I haven’t made you feel bad because you are less publically demonstrative then some. If so, I apologize. There is room in the world for all types of people. If you are more private with things like hand holding there is nothing wrong with that. No one is critizing you and if I, for one, have seemed to do so I will apologize again.
 
thanks, I appreciate it, and I extend my apology to you if I have offended at all, that was not my intention at all.

Peace 🙂
 
Kamz,
I think its fine, I think its great, but having to post about it?
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I like holding hands with my hubby, I love when my hubby rubs my back and tells me he loves me, I love when we go out on a date and act like two teens in love, **but it is private, it is personal, I don’t have to tell the world, if they see it fine, but I don’t need to put it out there to say “hey look”
**
And maybe that is just me, maybe I’m very old fashioned, but I was brought up that certain things should be kept between a husband and a wife, does that mean we don’t show love when out in public? Of course not, we laugh, hold hands, hold our kids hands, we wink at eachother etc. but what goes on in our home, is for us, my husband certainly would not want me on a message board telling special things that are important to him and I, then how special is it? Does he want me to tell the pet names we have? NO, that is special, that is for him, me, and God.
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Hey, sorry, I just think some things are better left in your own mind or if you really need to tell, tell your best girlfriend, sister or mom, I just think, it is really private.
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I just know I would die if my husband sat at work and talked about me and our marriage and special things between us and our kids, that is personal, that is something we have created for our family, doesn’t the world get way too much of people the way it is?
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Why are some things not kept personal anymore :confused:
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Its like you can be at the mall and you see some young couple walking in front of you and you have your kids with and they have their mouths all over eachother and their hands, oh, goodness, all over the place, that is sick, my kids are totally wide eyed with mouths open, sure, my kids see their mom and daddy kiss and hug but not tounge in mouth, hands all over my body, some things belong behind closed doors.
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Of course, just my opinion. 👍
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One sentence you tell us what your husband does to make you happy, and the next sentence you spout about how wrong it is to tell it in public???

You just contradicted yourself.
 
Kamz, i would just like to share something with you. I think open displays of affection are needed in this world. i love nothing more than seeing an elderly couple holding hands. it gives me hope at rough times in my marriage. i never saw my parents affectionate to each other, they never saw their parents affectionate, to be honest i blushed in church on our wedding day when my husband kissed me in front of the 50+ people at our wedding. then i realized that our love is a gift from God, a gift that i for one am beyond grateful to have received, so when my husband wants to sneak a quick kiss at the mall or grocery store, i dont shy away from it. we dont get carried away like some of the 16 year old kids youre seeing, but a quick little kiss no longer embarrasses me. i let him hold my hand, or put his arm around my waist, or give me a good strong hug whenever he wants to. im grateful for the affection, i know a lot of women and men who dont get enough affection, so far be it from me to stop whats being sent my way. i also dont think a little gushing is wrong on these forums, so many people get on here with bad sad problems, i like hearing from someone who is just happy and in love and we all get a little point in our day to think how in love we are, how lucky we are to have the love we have. ORIGINAL POSTER thanks for the pick me up in my day! its so nice to think on me and hubbys little moments of sweetness during such a busy work day.

Hoping to stay in love forever,

TarAshly
 
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TarAshly:
Kamz, i would just like to share something with you. I think open displays of affection are needed in this world. i love nothing more than seeing an elderly couple holding hands. it gives me hope at rough times in my marriage. i never saw my parents affectionate to each other, they never saw their parents affectionate, to be honest i blushed in church on our wedding day when my husband kissed me in front of the 50+ people at our wedding. then i realized that our love is a gift from God, a gift that i for one am beyond grateful to have received, so when my husband wants to sneak a quick kiss at the mall or grocery store, i dont shy away from it. we dont get carried away like some of the 16 year old kids youre seeing, but a quick little kiss no longer embarrasses me. i let him hold my hand, or put his arm around my waist, or give me a good strong hug whenever he wants to. im grateful for the affection, i know a lot of women and men who dont get enough affection, so far be it from me to stop whats being sent my way. i also dont think a little gushing is wrong on these forums, so many people get on here with bad sad problems, i like hearing from someone who is just happy and in love and we all get a little point in our day to think how in love we are, how lucky we are to have the love we have. ORIGINAL POSTER thanks for the pick me up in my day! its so nice to think on me and hubbys little moments of sweetness during such a busy work day.

Hoping to stay in love forever,

TarAshly
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Thank you. You cheered me up - I was discouraged after spending too much time in “Culture of Life” and seeing all that’s wrong in the world. I love seeing old people hold hands, too. Now that I’m married, I think “I hope that DH and I are married that long and that we never run out of things to talk about and we can show God to the world with our love.” I love it with DH gives me a hug in public, especially when I’m distraught (lost or discouraged, for example). God bless you. Kamz, I really hope that you can find relief for your headaches.

my Mother my Confidence,
Corinne
 
I didn’t get the feeling that Kamz is anti-affection. 🙂 I think in her original post she was just pointing out that marriage is not all picnics and roses, that’s all. Any of us who are married know this to be true. I also think when she finally posted a few of the sweet things she shares with her husband (in terms of physical affection) it seemed like maybe it was just to assure us that yes, she is in love with her husband despite the general perception of her original post. I didn’t get the feeling she was contradicting herself.

The OP asked us what makes our marriages great. I appreciated Kamz’s perspective that even when the road is tough, it’s our mutual perseverance, faith in God and each other, that gets all of us through the rough times. I think that’s a great example. A lot of other posts talk about the cute physical stuff that we all share between spouses, but it seems like Kamz chose to point out a different perspective, that’s all.

Personally I love hearing about ANY successful marriage! 🙂
 
space ghost:
…wonder if it’s safe for men in this thread…

http://home.earthlink.net/~tomorliz/Pics/paranoid.gif

…not yet!:eek:
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SG, as long as you post something really funny or you defend the faith, you’re welcome in ANY thread. 😃

my Mother my Confidence,
Corinne

P.S. I know that marriage is hard! That makes the good times so much better and it makes me thank God for the good times. Where did I say that me and DH’s marriage is perfect? Such a marriage doesn’t exist. Ours is joyful, that’s all.
 
All I was doing is posting a different perspective, one that I have and obviously is shared by others who have private messaged me.

The only reason I shared any of my marriage is because right away I was made out as some un loving, un caring wife and mom because I don’t feel the need to go and start a post telling everyone about how awesome my marriage is, how I wrestle and play with my husband, so I have to defend myself and then I get cracks for that. Did I say there is anything wrong with holding hands, or nuzzling politely in public?? No way, do I like non married, young teens walking down the mall in front of my kids, touching eachother where the sun don’t shine? No, I don’t, if that is ok with you, geez, good for you :o

I’m for love, happiness, I just don’t see the need to make a whole post about it, but I guess you do, I’m confident in my marriage that I don’t feel the need to start a post to brag about it, if you see my husband and me, just the way he looks at me or I look at him, you will know, “love” I don’t need to say it, brag about it, none of it, one look, one little smile and I know and he know’s, and I personally think that is far more special than having to tell the world how “in love we are” etc. etc. come back in 40 and 50 years and write this post and then, yes, I will be impressed. 👍
 
I didn’t mean to brag; that wasn’t my intent at all. I hope you have a great day.

my Mother my Confidence,
Corinne
 
Someone mentioned those silly games you play when you both say the same thing at the same time.

My wife would always try to play a game where she’d say “Jinx!” whenever she and I said the same thing simultaneously. Then the rules were that the person who forgot to say “Jinx!” (usually me) was not allowed to talk. This usually backfired on her because I was more comfortable not talking and she would get aggravated and usually end up begging me to talk.

Anyway, it happened once that my wife jinxed me. And so I clammed up. Later she showed me the pregnancy test which was positive. I wrote on the write-n-wipe board on the fridge, “Wow! I’m speechless!”
 
Black Jaque:
Someone mentioned those silly games you play when you both say the same thing at the same time.

My wife would always try to play a game where she’d say “Jinx!” whenever she and I said the same thing simultaneously. Then the rules were that the person who forgot to say “Jinx!” (usually me) was not allowed to talk. This usually backfired on her because I was more comfortable not talking and she would get aggravated and usually end up begging me to talk.

Anyway, it happened once that my wife jinxed me. And so I clammed up. Later she showed me the pregnancy test which was positive. I wrote on the write-n-wipe board on the fridge, “Wow! I’m speechless!”
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Fun!

I don’t know how I would survive without prayer and laughter. DH has been job-hunting since January and people are being extremely generous to us…sometimes I feel helpless about the money situation though. I have to be strong. Thank God for DH, who cheers me up when I’m down and makes me laugh.

Here’s a prayer for married couples for you all to use:
O Blessed Trinity,
You called us to form
a community of love
through the sacrament of marriage.
Hear our prayer.
Father,
grant us the ability to live
the fruitfulness of your sacrificial love,
with fraternity toward all your children.
Lord Jesus,
may our family be always
a living image
of Your infinite and sacrificial love
toward the Church, your spouse.
May it become for others
a model of the call
to perfection and holiness.
Divine Spirit,
grant us ardent love,
strength in difficulties,
and generous self-giving toward all.
O Divine Trinity,
give us healthy children,
give us holy children.
Choose your consecrated ones
from among them.
Mary,
spouse, virgin, and mother,
our model,
we give our family to you.
Make our family a tabernacle of love. Amen.
-W. Giaquinta, founder of the Pro Sanctity Movement

my Mother my Confidence,
Corinne
 
Hi Cora,

I just have one thing to add about marital joy. Make sure that your laughter is never at the expense of your new husband. I read what you wrote about “others would think we were being mean” and winced.

There was a time when I used to poke fun at my husband and it became a source of humor for the both of us…to poke at each other. Now, we never stopped thinking the jokes themselves were funny but it did start to chip away at our esteem. The esteem I’m talking about is your picture of yourself from your spouse’s eyes, if that makes any sense. All those little humorous jabs started to wear him down and made him begin to wonder if there was some truth in those barbs. Next thing you know, the intimacy between us was starting to evaporate because his confidence in himself was wearing thin.
It was a gradual thing…over the course of many years (we’ve been married 10 yrs) but I could KICK myself now when I think back to the careless and cavalier attitude I had towards my husband’s esteem. I had this idea that if it was a joke, he would know that and would remain confident. But we are all human and all different. His reaction to it was to think the jokes were hilarious but then to internalize the message from the joke and “believe” it.

These days, I do NOT make jokes about his person. We still rib each other and joke with each other but I make sure that it is nothing that could potentially tear him down.

I know you didn’t intend for your thread to get all heavy but I wanted to throw that out!

Blessings to you and I love your exuberance.

Carrie
 
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carrieloon:
Hi Cora,

I just have one thing to add about marital joy. Make sure that your laughter is never at the expense of your new husband. I read what you wrote about “others would think we were being mean” and winced.

There was a time when I used to poke fun at my husband and it became a source of humor for the both of us…to poke at each other. Now, we never stopped thinking the jokes themselves were funny but it did start to chip away at our esteem. The esteem I’m talking about is your picture of yourself from your spouse’s eyes, if that makes any sense. All those little humorous jabs started to wear him down and made him begin to wonder if there was some truth in those barbs. Next thing you know, the intimacy between us was starting to evaporate because his confidence in himself was wearing thin.
It was a gradual thing…over the course of many years (we’ve been married 10 yrs) but I could KICK myself now when I think back to the careless and cavalier attitude I had towards my husband’s esteem. I had this idea that if it was a joke, he would know that and would remain confident. But we are all human and all different. His reaction to it was to think the jokes were hilarious but then to internalize the message from the joke and “believe” it.

These days, I do NOT make jokes about his person. We still rib each other and joke with each other but I make sure that it is nothing that could potentially tear him down.

I know you didn’t intend for your thread to get all heavy but I wanted to throw that out!

Blessings to you and I love your exuberance.

Carrie
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Thank you, Carrie! You have very good advice. Sometimes I tell him he’s too mean and he’s confronted me at least once before about my meanness so we could both do a bit better, especially now that we have a child in the family (preborn). We want to have a fun, loving atmosphere and if we end up hurting Baby’s feelings, we’re definitely in trouble! God bless you.

my Mother my Confidence,
Corinne
let’s stop hiding our joy under bushel baskets! 😃
 
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kamz:
I’m for love, happiness, I just don’t see the need to make a whole post about it, but I guess you do, I’m confident in my marriage that I don’t feel the need to start a post to brag about it, if you see my husband and me, just the way he looks at me or I look at him, you will know, “love” I don’t need to say it, brag about it, none of it, one look, one little smile and I know and he know’s, and I personally think that is far more special than having to tell the world how “in love we are” etc. etc. come back in 40 and 50 years and write this post and then, yes, I will be impressed. 👍
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Kamz…FANTASTIC post! Way to go! My sentiments EXACTLY!
~ Kathy ~ :clapping: :dancing: :tiphat: :bounce:
 
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