I read a statistic some time back that one in four women are either raped or molested (fail to see the difference). My wife is one of them. Her’s was as you said, threats of death ad harm and he actually did harm her. He did it over a 6 month period. She never told anyone until her senior year in college, about 5 years after the fact. When I heard of her situation from one of my soldiers that really seemed to not empathize as much as me, I looked for an excuse to go see her. I had been through something less difficult, but all the same felt the shame in what happened to me. I ended up marrying her… probably shouldn’t have, because I did it outside the Church and converted to her faith… (long story). But we’re married for 22 years and only have 3 children. Much of her beliefs and fears about having children was rooted i her Protestant upbringing. A raped woman would have been blamed for “putting herself out there”… blame the victim, not the criminal. She still suffers from major anxieties and depression. Her family never knew, still don’t. I told one of her brothers because it became overwhelming for me to handle it on my own. He said nothing afterwords. I think that speaks mounds about the family situation. Her family is full of preachers, deacons ad elders. The shame of it would have humiliated her and her family. SAD. It makes me angry still. But I can’t do anything except take care of her.
Before I came along she was dating losers, both with and without money. Men that were using her, trying to get into her pants. I gave up returning to the seminary to take care of her, but also because I fell i love with her ad felt that this might be my only chance to find someone that would accept me and my poverty and pain. Even poor girls in my history never saw me as a serious candidate for marriage, mostly because of my poverty. I grew disenchanted with Catholic girls seeking the guy they could love just as much as a poor guy, like me. I had nothing to offer except my undying love and devotion.
I still believe God led me to my wife and away from the materialistic easy road seekers with whom I became disgusted. I began judging my own worthlessness based on the way my poverty was received. Being a smart and hard worker wasn’t good enough. I was an engineering student and wanted to build a life for myself and my family. The women wanted to start off in Barbie houses. I joined the Army to get away from my humiliation caused from an alcoholic dad and dysfunctional family. Try not being ashamed of your own family when your own family puts you in harms way.
Anyway, God seems to have allowed me to make a misdirected decision since I was poorly catechized and very confused, angry and doubtful. The seminary was the worst thing for me under the circumstances - condition of the seminaries during my time, flooded with homosexuals and sympathizers. But had I hung on a few more years I would have seen them turned away from the seminaries. I lost my faith in the Catholic Church as a result of being marginalized in what happened to me - priest molestation in my sleep. I lost all trust in all authoritative structures. Joining the Army was a nightmare for me that I really did in order to try to get killed in battle. I wanted to die but knew it was a sin to take my own life. I wanted to at least save what little dignity I could get back by dying i the line of duty. This is the only way I can truly understand how a rape victim must feel. However, I’m not claiming to relate quite that much. But it does appear that God led me to my wife as an alternate vocation to becoming a priest in the environment still plagued by bishops, priests, deacons and laity in denial how how twisted things had become. I nearly died when I realized I had made a real mistake leaving the One Holy Catholic and Apostolic Church. I still feel the humiliation from doing it. But I assure you it was because I thought I had made the correct choice by joining a church that made more sense to me during that time in my life.
Rape is far worst than what I went through and because of my experience, I can understand how a woman, without a stable environment can get manipulated into having an abortion. People still kick you when you are down. Sometimes the one’s you never suspected.
abortion is not fine but putting ourselves in a girl’s shoes who’s been raped, would you be so proud that a new person has been created that you forget how it came to be? I really hope some of those girls do feel that. I can pray for those victims they dont fall pregnant but if it does happen they need to accept new life. As you guys pointed out, it is a human being.