I’ve struggled most of my life with a lack of trust. I had trouble as a young child feeling “safe”.
I had trouble as a student trusting that I could ever become “somebody”. I struggled for most of my marriage with trust in my husband’s love for me-exclusively. And I still struggle with trusting my children;doctors;politicians and the people that consider me a friend.
But the hardest battle is trusting that God would forgive my sins and that I could ever be “good” enough to get to heaven. That is changing with my devotion to the **Divine **Mercy, and the simple, yet profound message that Our Lord Himself gave to mankind as a last hope, “Jesus, I trust in You.” Praise the unfathomable Mercy of God…it is His greatest attribute!!!
Interesting, I pretty much felt the same way except when you got to trusting God. God is the only one I ever really did trust (besides my Mother and Grandmother), I’ve always had a fear of men, and for a time, I feared my father and God, but…my father was such a good man, that eventually I learned to trust both him and God…as a small child.
Things happened when I was little that my father had nothing to do with, but other men did and that is why I feared him…he was a man. God, to me, was man, but…God was different than other men, in time I figured out that my father was too. My father was a kind and loving man, very forgiving but yet he also was firm and consistant and punishment was never abuse, he made it easy for me to know that God was kind and loving too.
I also trust my children because they are also very kind and loving. I have a hard time trusting people who aren’t kind. I have no trouble trusting in God’s mercy, His mercy is ever lasting…Jesus, I trust in you. I read about Saints when I was very young, they know God’s love and express it very well. They are funny, kind, loving, merciful, prayful, joy filled and yet they don’t have any problem telling people when they are wrong either, but they do it in such a kind manner that its hard to feel “bad” afterwards. (which is good, you aren’t suppose to feel bad after you realize and confess the error of your ways.)
I guess I always knew that I wasn’t “good” enough to deserve heaven, but I’ve always had a hope that with God’s grace, I could possibly maybe get there. Still working on that, isn’t that I think I’m there, just that I can see the light at the end of the tunnel (and its not a train waiting to hit me.)
As Pope John Paul II always said: Be not afraid. (at first I was like, ut oh, what is it that we are suppose to be afraid of?? Obvioiusly I missed that part, I was fearless for a time, but now I’m working on humbleness, thats a hard one for me.) I don’t really understand it.
I do understand that our soul lives on into eternity and that some day, when the last day is here, we, who make it, will be reunited body and soul. That’s why its easy for me to understand the Blessed Mother being in heaven, she make it, she is there, body and soul.
Someday, we all hope to be.
Thats why I think its so important that people understand about abortion, God created a soul, He gave life to a body and soul. Those souls live on into eternity.