About To Lose Everything-Please Give Assistance

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AScottishSpirit:
Other than my spiritual peril, I’ve improved noticeably on my own since last year: Do I really need to see a professional if I continue to make marked improvements? You see, because I am not eighteen, my parents would have to be alerted to any professional counseling I recieve, and I have worked tirelessly, literally since this happened, to keep all emotions private. They would never have known if my mother had not discovered me crying about it, and even then I made the attempt to keep it from them. I made them promise they could not report it to the police, and that they would not send me to a counselor. I am not even certain we could afford one at the current moment. Could I not seek help on my eighteenth birthday, when I can locate free/low cost services without my parents’ knowledge?

I smile wryly at this, for the above reasons, and because I have no other adults who are close enough to me that I could speak with about this. And none who would agree to keep it private between themselves and me. They would, by obligation, alert my parents to my having spoken with them.

I had planned on doing this. I’m not sure on an exact date, but am setting one. I thought perhaps I could begin by calling the hotline
PrincessAbby gave me. It would not be in person, but it would be a start and perhaps make it easier to speak with a priest in person after I have broken the barrier of not speaking at all. I would set a second date to talk with a priest from one of my local churches. Being that writing has been a source of self-expression for me since I was young, I’ve thought I could write down what I want to say, and that will help it to run smoother. Even if I don’t act according to plan, I am at least seriously considering speaking with a priest, whereas before coming here I would not have. For that I have all of you to thank.

Hands-on help…:smiles wryly again:. I suppose we shall see…but I cannot at this moment give any guarantees, although yes, you are right, I do know that I need it
:Hugs mercygate in return: (lol 😉 )

~~~Sheena Adele~~~
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What you are saying here is that your parents are part of your problem or at least in collusion with the person who abused you. Why not go to the police? If they are protecting the person who molested/abused you, I would say with DEEP irony: Have we learned nothing from the Catholic Church?

YES!! You DO need hands-on help; going it alone is likely to lead you up too many blind alleys. I am glad you are improving (and surely, bringing your concerns to this forum is part of your improvement and outreach). Go to that priest. Do write out your concerns (don’t make it Gone with the Wind – just jot down the key points).

Layin’ off the occult, are you? Gotta get away from that: at the very least it is a way of faking control over the powers of darkness. You need the real deal. Only Jesus has that kind of power. HE is THE Way, THE Truth, and THE life!

How far from 18 are you?
 
The answer to your ques. and problem is older than the bible. God gave them to Moses.

They are the Ten Commandments. 👍

:amen:
 
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AnnaRose:
The answer to your ques. and problem is older than the bible. God gave them to Moses.

They are the Ten Commandments. 👍

:amen:
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The OP is a young lady who is dealing with serious issues. Flipping her off to the Ten Commandments is glib and dismissive.

OK, Mods. Bust me for bad behavior.
 
Your story and your search for God is very touching even though your pain and feelings of confusion are so great. I promise to pray for you. I’ve had a bit of trouble with the occult myself; it’s no good. But you are nowhere near as rare or alone as you might feel, and that’s good news.
Please make sure to get enough food, sleep and exercise. Missing these things will make it harder for you to manage your feelings.
I like to say the “Hail Mary,” maybe that would be a comforting prayer for you too. It’s also nice to say little, cheerful prayers like asking God for his help.
🙂
 
No matter how much you try to save yourself, you have turned completely away from God. The good news is that God has not given up on you and never will. I am assuming you were baptized.

You mentioned that you tried for a time to be Cathoilc and serve God, but you have already done alot of damage to your relationship with him by intentionally rejecting God and serving demons, and in fact Satan.

Jesus gave us the sacrament of Confession in order to repair our relationship with him. When we have committed mortal sins, which you have, we need absolution from Christ, working through a priest’s hands in order to have God’s grace in our lives again. WE ARE NOTHING without God’s grace. I am a devout Catholic, If I severed myself from God’s grace I would not be capable of living a life of holiness. It sounds like your attempts at returning to the Cathoic faith were done without REconcilliation with God. This is not possible.

You MUST find a preist to confess to. NO matter how repulsed you feel about it. You are Satan’s child right now and He doesn’t want to give you up, and allow you to be once again redeemed to be God’s child… so will put all kinds of crazy thoughts into your head to keep you from the Sacrament that will save you from Sin and death.

Jesus already conquered Satan when He died on the Cross for our sins, it is up to us to accept that Grace, and Salvation. The reason why you can’t seem to stay out of this temptation is because you have not humbled yourself before God by going to a priest and confessing your sins. Think of it this way, if you can’t humble yourself in front of a flawed human being, how can you humble yourself in front of God?

The Good news is, God is still calling you, still loves you, still wants you for his son. You can change right now by calling a priest and asking him for help, and if that priest is not helpful find another. Your eternal soul depends upon it.

You interest in the occult was a misguided attempt to find God. It is an easy trap to fall into, you aren’t the first and you won’t be the last. If you want spiritual inspiration look no further than the saints. We are called to lead a supernatural life with God. Any other path is a rejection of God and a self chosen path to hell.

Do you believe in hell? Do you really want to be in pain and misery for eternity? This life is short and fleeting. Your life could end tomorrow or could last 90 more years. You are not beyond redemption until your life is over. There is no sin God won’t forgive except the great sin against teh Holy Spirit and that sin is the refusal of God’s grace. That sin is a choice between God’s forgiveness and our love for Him, and the refusal of it.

Your guilt is a gift. Guilt is looked a so negatively in our culture, but guilt is the beginning of redemption. It is not obeying this guilt and allowing God to redeem our souls and transform our souls that is bad. Guilt is a chance for redemption. Guilt goes away only when we are reconciled with God and give up our sins and our pain and suffering at the foot of the cross. Jesus already died for your sins, they are already forgiven, but only if you accept that forgiveness, by going to confession and restoring God’s grace.

Satan is the father of lies, He will try everything to keep you, making you believe that you can reach a point of no going back in this life. That point can only be reached at death. Satan will cause you to be depressed, to be tempted, to feel worthless, to make you believe you can save yourself on your own, that you are beyond redemption or that God doesn’t exist. You have a chance, an opportunity and God is calling you. That emptiness can only be filled by God. That longing you feel is a gift from God.

Have you ever been burned? It’s extremely painful, and burning flesh is the description we get of hell from Jesus. Our souls live forever, either in heaven or hell. The choice is yours. God will take you back if you only accept Him completely. Keeping the occult around in your life is breaking the first commandment. “you shall have no gods before me”

You are wanted, and loved, and Through Christ all things are possible.
 
The more you accept Christ into your life, the more you live in His grace and deny temptation, the easier it becomes. Your attraction to the occult will make you repulsed when the Holy Spirit is living in you.

Until you can go to confession, please keep praying,
 
**
Renouncing the Occult:
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"Heavenly Father, in the name of your only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, I renounce Satan and all his works; withcraft, the use of divination, the practice of sorcery, dealings with mediums, the Ouija board, astrology, horoscopes, numerology, all types of fortune telling, palm readings, levitation, and anything associated with teh occult or Satan. I renounce al of them in the name of teh Lord Jesus Christ who came in the flesh and by the power of his cross, his blood and his resurrection, I break their hold over me.

I confess all these sins before you adn ask you cleanse adn forgive me. I confess with my mouth that Jesus Christ is teh only Son of God, and ask you Lord Jesus to enter my heart adn create in me the kind of person you have intended me to be. I ask you to send forth your Holy Spirit, just as you baptized your disciples on teh day of Pentecost.

I thank you, Lord, according to the richness of your glory, for strengthening my inner-spirit, with teh power of you rHoly Spirit, so that Christ may dwell in my heart. Through faith, rooted and grounded in love, may I be able to comprehend with all teh saints, teh breadth, length, height, and depth of Christ’s love which surpasses all knowledge; in Jesus’ name, Amen."

Here is a prayer for renouncing the occult. Pray. God knows your heart if you are truly sorry, pray and you will be forgiven, but please go to confession and have those Mortal sins wiped from your soul, allow God to transform your soul. The priest has heard it all, and from what I have been told they aim to forget what is confessed. Jesus is greater than any force outside you. **
 
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AScottishSpirit:
Other than my spiritual peril, I’ve improved noticeably on my own since last year: Do I really need to see a professional if I continue to make marked improvements? You see, because I am not eighteen, my parents would have to be alerted to any professional counseling I recieve, and I have worked tirelessly, literally since this happened, to keep all emotions private. They would never have known if my mother had not discovered me crying about it, and even then I made the attempt to keep it from them. I made them promise they could not report it to the police, and that they would not send me to a counselor. I am not even certain we could afford one at the current moment. Could I not seek help on my eighteenth birthday, when I can locate free/low cost services without my parents’ knowledge?
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You indicated that your parents already know, and if I read it correctly, it sounds like they wanted you to go to counseling, but you talked them out of it. Is that correct? If so, why would it matter if they now learn that you are seeking counciling on your own?
 
I just read through this entire thread. I am so happy you posted here, you have so many people praying for you now. I am happy to see that you already know the Rosary, and one of the posters suggested that you always keep it close by, that’s excellent advice. (as someone else already pointed out, she is the best when it comes to leading to Jesus), and they both will keep satan and all his little demons far from you, you’ll see.
Someone else told you to go to Adoration and just pour your heart out to Jesus, more excellent advice.
Talk to a Priest, and pray and don’t worry, God loves you and is calling to you. The Holy Spirit is working in you, you are reaching out, and Jesus has lead you “home”.
May His dear Blessed Mother cover you with her mantel of protection. Whenever I think of you, I will pray for you, and for all in your situation.
I have another pray suggestion for you, when you awake every morning do a “morning offering”, offer your day to God, (after your confession), you will be so happy that you will probably want to go to councelling to get even better. (It’s not scary, it’s helpful.) You’ll be alright, and as someone else said, you aren’t the first, many have gone before you. I have heard some stories of those who left it all behind, they needed lots of prayer (which you have now). No one will judge you, everyone will just want to see you well and happy again.
It’s very difficult when you have parents like your’s but all things are possible with God. I am sure that even they want what is best for you, however, often times they aren’t able to express it the correct way, doesn’t mean they don’t love you though.
One last thing, here is a prayer that my Grandmother taught me when I was very young, I still pray it often:
Angel of God, my guardian dear, to whom God’s love commits me here, ever this day be at my side, to light, to guard, to rule and guide. Amen.
Someone already gave you the St. Michael the Arch Angel prayer, he will keep satan away from you too.
God bless you, and let us know how it’s going. Never fear, God is always more powerful than satan could ever be. You are a child of God.
 
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mercygate:
What you are saying here is that your parents are part of your problem or at least in collusion with the person who abused you. Why not go to the police? If they are protecting the person who molested/abused you, I would say with DEEP irony: Have we learned nothing from the Catholic Church?
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I don’t think my parents really knew what else to do. And remember, I did refuse to tell them what I was so upset about until they promised me they would not go to the police. They could easily have assumed that to break that promise would also break my trust in them. Also, the one who commited the act was very little older than I was, and had grown up in an environment that could seriously compromise his views on what is and is not acceptable. I really don’t believe he would commit again, because his actions seemed to be more of a replication of what he was seeing (his sister used to sleep with men in front of him while “babysitting”) than an actual sexual depravity. I couldn’t have handled telling the police of the event at the time, though my mother did talk to a priest. He assured her that I was not at fault, but accepted my confession “if it would make me feel better”. He and one of our deacons were both remarkably helpful to the family at the time, but although our new priest also seems to be very kind and sincere, he is not the same one I spoke with in the past.
Go to that priest. Do write out your concerns (don’t make it Gone with the Wind – just jot down the key points).
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I plan on writing this account tonight, in fact, as I come home early from school on Friday’s and have extra time. I believe I once started a list like this before, but unfortunately think I might have thrown it out. A new one will be more accurate anyway :rolleyes:
Layin’ off the occult, are you? Gotta get away from that: at the very least it is a way of faking control over the powers of darkness. You need the real deal. Only Jesus has that kind of power. HE is THE Way, THE Truth, and THE life!
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Honestly, the idea of the occult sickens me in a way, simply because I spent so much time on it but never really believed in the basis for the faith. It now seems like I have wasted several years of my life on the occult when it couldn’t provide for me what I wanted. However, I still have yet to discover, for reasons I have explained in a previous post, why I would need to give up astrology, which still holds quite a fascination to me.
How far from 18 are you?
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I’m about a year and four days from eighteen. I realize this may seem like too long to wait for counseling, but it would allow the process to go much smoother.

I’m out of time, so I will be sure to respond to all other’s who replied as soon as possible. Thanks again for all of your support 🙂 .
 
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AScottishSpirit:
I don’t think my parents really knew what else to do. And remember, I did refuse to tell them what I was so upset about until they promised me they would not go to the police. They could easily have assumed that to break that promise would also break my trust in them. Also, the one who commited the act was very little older than I was, and had grown up in an environment that could seriously compromise his views on what is and is not acceptable. I really don’t believe he would commit again, because his actions seemed to be more of a replication of what he was seeing (his sister used to sleep with men in front of him while “babysitting”) than an actual sexual depravity. I couldn’t have handled telling the police of the event at the time, though my mother did talk to a priest. He assured her that I was not at fault, but accepted my confession “if it would make me feel better”. He and one of our deacons were both remarkably helpful to the family at the time, but although our new priest also seems to be very kind and sincere, he is not the same one I spoke with in the past.

I plan on writing this account tonight, in fact, as I come home early from school on Friday’s and have extra time. I believe I once started a list like this before, but unfortunately think I might have thrown it out. A new one will be more accurate anyway :rolleyes:

Honestly, the idea of the occult sickens me in a way, simply because I spent so much time on it but never really believed in the basis for the faith. It now seems like I have wasted several years of my life on the occult when it couldn’t provide for me what I wanted. However, I still have yet to discover, for reasons I have explained in a previous post, why I would need to give up astrology, which still holds quite a fascination to me.

I’m about a year and four days from eighteen. I realize this may seem like too long to wait for counseling, but it would allow the process to go much smoother.

I’m out of time, so I will be sure to respond to all other’s who replied as soon as possible. Thanks again for all of your support 🙂 .
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It looks like you’re doing some really good things. Maybe having a counseling relationship with the priest will tide you through until you can get “real” counseling.

Gotta be brief: I’m supposed to be 20 miles from here in 20 minutes. I won’t have access to a computer from October 10-16, so if I don’t respond, don’t think I’m ignoring you. I’ll be on a solitary, silent retreat and will pray for you before the Blessed Sacrament daily. Take heart.
 
I will likely not be posting for awhile.
I do not know if I will be returning to these forums, but know that I really do appreciate everything all of you have done to assist in my difficulties.
 
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