Absence

[reen12]

quote: BarbaraTherese

When things go right for me or upon me, I am always without fail conscious that probably some little contemplative sweating away mopping the brow and happily scrubbing cloister floors for the twentieth time in the day (exaggeration but similar to that - it can happen!) has won the Grace - not me…and I am only the unlikely channel for the Grace - since Grace shines the more brightly the more lowly and dark, unlikely, the channel. Or perhaps some person struggling with great difficulties and praying for self and others has won the Grace. Something like that:thumbsup:

That comports with something C.S. Lewis wrote, based on what his friend had told him.
“Sometimes, God has us build the altar here - so that the fire can come down, over there.”

My imagery of others winning grace, is more centered on the
mother, up in the middle of the night, caring for one of her
children, who is ill - knowing that she has to rise at
6 AM, to get the other children off to school. Or the man who’s spouse has Altzheimers, who goes each day to be with her, in the nursing home. Or the father, working two jobs, to care for his family. Each of these men and women may be winning the grace
that another needs.

And, of course, sanctity is quick to note the contributions of others, in the realms of grace.

Yet we swim in a sea of grace, as a child in the womb. God forsakes no one, least of all one who knows not of His grace.

reen12

 

[BarbaraTherese]

quote: BarbaraTherese

That comports with something C.S. Lewis wrote, based on what his friend had told him.
“Sometimes, God has us build the altar here - so that the fire can come down, over there.”

My imagery of others winning grace, is more centered on the
mother, up in the middle of the night, caring for one of her
children, who is ill - knowing that she has to rise at
6 AM, to get the other children off to school. Or the man who’s spouse has Altzheimers, who goes each day to be with her, in the nursing home. Or the father, working two jobs, to care for his family. Each of these men and women may be winning the grace
that another needs.

And, of course, sanctity is quick to note the contributions of others, in the realms of grace.

reen12

Hi Reen…good to cacha on the rounds again!..there are endless, endless, unsung heroes and saints in our midst. “We never know who we sit next to on the bus” and surely none less than Mums and Dads doing what Mums and Dads often do and thinking nothing of it. I just had lunch today with a couple of them. A person who is, with no concern for self and thinking nothing of it, caring for a sick relative and a lifelong probably commitment. It would stun me once, talking to the person next to me on the bus and hearing their story.

Yet we swim in a sea of grace, as a child in the womb. God forsakes no one, least of all one who knows not of His grace.

Precisely! …Heaven I am sure will be full of surprises and probably turn our concepts of reality here inside out.

Barb

 

[BarbaraTherese]

For the interested re “Faith Seeking Understanding”. Had a quick look at Catholic Answers front pages and could not find the quote.
Came up with this after a very quick search on the internet:

If you put “Faith seeking Understanding” into your browser some really interesting, if quite complex, sites do come up.

Barb

I wondered where on earth this Post had gone to, and that perhaps I had forgotten to hit the “Submit Reply” key as I sometimes do… I have inadvertently posted it into the wrong thread …apologies in case any are wondering how on earth the subject above came into things…although not entirely disconnected with the thread subect as it has turned out.

Barb

 

[Deacon_Ed_B]

instead of waiting to hear, pray that you do his will. We have the teachings of the Church as a guide. We have scripture as his revealed word. Follow and practice what the Church believes and teaches and you will do his will. For things as what to do with you life in so far as vocation, occupation, etc, pray for discernment that whatever you do is Gods will. If an occupation is contradictory to the teachings of the Church, know that is not his will. Years ago, I prayed almost with despair that I would know God’s will in my life. I finally followed the urgings of my heart and i now know that I made the correct decision. if that urging however is against Church teaching, know that is not his will. I will keep you in my daily prayers for discernment.
Prayers & blessings
Deacon Ed B

 

[reen12]

Hello, Barb. I’m in the “I don’t believe in much mode” of severe depression.
[Trying to get the energy up to go visit Mom, and go to the grocery store.]
Couple this with the ‘adolescent’ phase of growth, psychologically, on some days,
and life is a doozy. In the 12th year of therapy, with no end in sight.]
I am so ill. This is OK, because, at 62, I’m that much closer to heaven.
It will be so good, not to be ill anymore, then.

quote: reen12
Yet we swim in a sea of grace, as a child in the womb. God forsakes no one, least of all one who knows not of His grace.

quote: BarbaraTherese
Precisely! …Heaven I am sure will be full of surprises and probably turn our concepts of reality here inside out.

I’m positive of this.

God bless you, Barb. I’m counting on you to keep the faith.

reens

 

[BarbaraTherese]

Hello, Barb. I’m in the “I don’t believe in much mode” of severe depression.
[Trying to get the energy up to go visit Mom, and go to the grocery store.]
Couple this with the ‘adolescent’ phase of growth, psychologically, on some days,
and life is a doozy. In the 12th year of therapy, with no end in sight.]
I am so ill. This is OK, because, at 62, I’m that much closer to heaven.
It will be so good, not to be ill anymore, then.

You have been through so much tremendous suffering in your life, Reen, and still do and continually I tend to think…and always thinking of the other. I hope you will be able to find that energy to visit your Mom and get the needed groceries …but I can hear what you are saying and I remember the feeling of days with things we want to do ardently, and the agonized mind and exhausted body from it all is just asking rest and retreat.
I am 63 now and I alternate between joy at the thought of death and then the pits of despair. I hope your joy will persist in whatever time lay ahead…and I hope it is a very long time yet, dear friend…a long time yet!!!
I was just reading in these two threads into this Forum on The Spirituality of Imperfection of St. Therese, posted by Trishie:

http://forums.catholic-questions.org/showpost.php?p=3724520&postcount=9

http://forums.catholic-questions.org/showpost.php?p=3724575&postcount=10

They are exchanges between Therese and her sisters - and as I read I was thinking “this reminds me of Reen” and all the insights
and very profound ones that you have gleaned from your own sufferings and shared with others, including me to my own very real profit.
Marked for all time in my mind and spirituality (and you first gave insight into your spirituality on another site a long time ago now,) that the reason we do make mistakes, suffer etc., is so that we can truly insight with empathy drawn from experience what others endure. Always with you, Reeny - is the other person - and there your focus.
I have up on the walls of Bethany here your poem “I let you experience anxiety, so that you can move amongst the anxious” (my copy has no title, but that is the first line) and it really is absolutely profound. With your permission, I will post it into this thread…or would you?

God bless you, Barb. I’m counting on you to keep the faith.

I hope Grace will win in the end…although and like many (and I know you well know what I mean) struggle is so fierce, one wonders why it does not drive us mad . I really feel this way. If at death I despair, The Lord will have in His Heart those days of tremendous struggle to win, and that is all He will be looking at with great Love and Joy, welcoming me home forever. His Ways, not at all, not at all, like ours. I think that the Love and Insightful caring Mercy of Jesus is far more than the greatest of human minds and holiness could even remotely imagine ever…there is my"money". So many endure so very very much and in absolute innocence.

God bless Reen and my prayer will be that what you are suffering will be lifted or at very least made bearable somehow…and that you will be with your Mom today and groceries gathered. I feel totally helpless and wish I could do more than just sit here and write these words to you…warm regards with my love and undying respect and esteem…Barb

 

[reen12]

quote: BarbaraTherese

I feel totally helpless and wish I could do more than just sit here and write these words to you…warm regards with my love and undying respect and esteem…Barb

You bring tears to my eyes Barb. The rottenest sin I have ever commited
was speaking to you as I did. Only someone truly a follower of Christ
could not only forgive but speak with love and grace to the one who sinned.
I’m here to tell each who reads this post, that no greater love has another
than to lay down their life for someone. And second to this is to forgive.

A lot of people write about spirituality, yet do not even speak kindly to others.
It was feeling helpless and desolate at hurting you with my words,
that gave me the image of face down in the mud and then looking over
to see Mercy himself, face down in the mud, beside me, fallen under
the weight of his cross looking with love on one who had hurt
an innocent heart with her words.
For years, I had said to others that Christ, hanging on the cross, was
paying for sin, and was also bearing the weight of those sins
that were never meant to hurt so badly. Making amends for the
injuries done that were never meant to create such hurt. At least
I had that to turn to then.
I knew what Peter felt like when he betrayed his friend.

I won’t speak of this again, Barb. I’ve thought of you many times,
and thought of you on your birthday this year. For some reason,
I thought you had turned 62. Won’t it be nice in heaven?
Never to know illness or aging or loss ever again.

reen

 

[reen12]

quote: BarbaraTherese

I have up on the walls of Bethany here your poem “I let you experience anxiety, so that you can move amongst the anxious” (my copy has no title, but that is the first line) and it really is absolutely profound. With your permission, I will post it into this thread…or would you?

I think that I lost the copy that I had when my computer
crashed the first time. I would like to read it again too.

reens

 

[BarbaraTherese]

quote: BarbaraTherese

You bring tears to my eyes Barb. The rottenest sin I have ever commited
was speaking to you as I did. Only someone truly a follower of Christ
could not only forgive but speak with love and grace to the one who sinned.
I’m here to tell each who reads this post, that no greater love has another
than to lay down their life for someone. And second to this is to forgive.

A lot of people write about spirituality, yet do not even speak kindly to others.
It was feeling helpless and desolate at hurting you with my words,
that gave me the image of face down in the mud and then looking over
to see Mercy himself, face down in the mud, beside me, fallen under
the weight of his cross looking with love on one who had hurt
an innocent heart with her words.
For years, I had said to others that Christ, hanging on the cross, was
paying for sin, and was also bearing the weight of those sins
that were never meant to hurt so badly. Making amends for the
injuries done that were never meant to create such hurt. At least
I had that to turn to then.
I knew what Peter felt like when he betrayed his friend.

I won’t speak of this again, Barb. I’ve thought of you many times,
and thought of you on your birthday this year. For some reason,
I thought you had turned 62. Won’t it be nice in heaven?
Never to know illness or aging or loss ever again.

reen

Reen, me own face is often in the mud and more times than I can count… and perhaps I deserved the words you shared - and I did or you never would have been able to uttered them…not that I can recall them…though I know that I lashed out too in overwhelming anger and outlandish hurt pride. No worries, I learnt something about myself and something I needed to know (not that in honesty I welcomed the lesson one bitas pride and spiritual pride burned indignantly with my face well and truly in the mud and deserving it was the lesson and the mud got deeper with indignation and refusal of a just humiliation…and quite a while indeed before I saw the absolute error of my ways - pride and spiritual pride precluded this). We both grieved deeply and over the pain we had caused each other. Not only this, but we are human and faulted is our nature and we humans will do these things as our nature takes us here and there to place we really dont want to travel…whenever I fail, I cry “Human!” which is only ever part of the reason and no excuse at all…and neither of us hold anything against the other and that is the important thing. “Blessed are the peacemakers” …and after all there has to be a war to make Peace …or then, what indeed is “Peace” - a word fashioned to term the absence of war and the pain that comes with it.

Ok, Reen…off that so tired and worn soapbox that I am lost without and so religiously climb so religiously often
http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/36/36_11_8.gif…we always did have that ability to share our faults and foibles and most often with laughter, huh?

…stop press…climbing back on me olde soapbox again…

I am off to the dentist soon …shudder shudder!..all bottom teeth on the way out, and glad truly it is happening. I have been living on either painkillers or indigestion tablets…the government welfare dentist scheme here is woeful - but shines in the light of the many who have nothing free at all. But without a moan and a groan, a flash of anger, and many other fault, pride easily wounded, fragile self esteem and confidence I cover with the total opposite in hope others will not see the truth…and even more things (to be charitable to myself and never a lacking of mine!)…and as you once pointed out so wisely, would I be “Barb”? meaning as you pointed out that our faults and foibles in part fashion our unique identity. I will post your poem tonight.

Life is an unfolding huh and what unfolds today and perhaps sadly may well unfold on the morrow in a happy light. A wondrous thing is Hope! Deo Gratius! Alleluia Amen!

Love - Barb…and really good to be talking to you again…take care and God bless…warm regards…Barb

Edit: You are absoltuely right, Reen…I am 62…not only is the maths woeful, the memory is decidedly worse! Fancy a woman quoting herself as a year older than the truth
…the meditation in your Post is truly beautiful and with much and in sound theology to say to many, including me. Just had a re read.

 

[BarbaraTherese]

…and not only with warm regards, Reen…but much love too and over a long period now, huh?..you have made my shudder day a joyful day …

 

[reen12]

quote: BarbaraTherese

…and not only with warm regards, Reen…but much love too and over a long period now, huh?..you have made my shudder day a joyful day …

Lou came into our computer room, finding me crying my heart
out. I told him that I wasn’t crying because I was sad, but
because of the relief and joy that my friend is my friend again.
Much love to you Barb. I have begun praying that you will
be OK at the dentist and that the shudders will be long over when
you return home. reen

 

[BarbaraTherese]

quote: BarbaraTherese

Lou came into our computer room, finding me crying my heart
out. I told him that I wasn’t crying because I was sad, but
because of the relief and joy that my friend is my friend again.
Much love to you Barb. I have begun praying that you will
be OK at the dentist and that the shudders will be long over when
you return home. reen

Hi again Reen…I had a few tears too, Luv.

Here is the poem as promised, written at a time of great loss and major suffering in your life if memory serves.

I let you experience anxiety
so could move among and be with the anxious
I let you fall into sin,
so that you would be merciful to the sinner

I let you know weakness and depression
so that you woul look to Me, ultimately,
for strength and good chear, yea,
even to the end of life.
I let you know pride
so that you would see how hollow that is
how empty

• the boasts of man.

I took away the one you loved so dearly
so that you would learn lessons
still unknown to you - yet known by Me.

I let you experience limitation and all kinds of loss,
so that you would seek My strength,
and trust My promise to restore to you people
and things you loved, in Me, in eternity.

And when you finally learn to credit Me for the gifts
that I have given you,
Then…
You will truly be the person that I have meant you to be.

‘shudder day’ still probably a few weeks down the line yet. Only examined and took Xrays today. The Government Dental Authority now has to approve the work recommended, then the appointment for the big day…‘shudder day’ still ahead. I had hoped it would be all over today . But the dentist said that the teeth will not be difficult to remove and all done in one hit and that is major consolation that puts ‘shudder’ into very low case. Thank you for your thoughtfulness…its not as bad as me olde imagination would insist it will be - not by a long shot. Going to the dentist is not my favourite place to read a magazine…does it show by any chance?

Love…Barb

 

[reen12]

quote: BarbaraTherse

‘shudder day’ still probably a few weeks down the line yet. Only examined and took Xrays today.

I was worried did you have some nice
soft food to dine on when you came home. http://bestsmileys.com/nono/9.gif
Thank heaven, it’s 2008, not 1958, huh?
ooooo, have there been changes for the good,
in those 50 years. *
I take a 1958 mindset into a 21st century *dental office.]
About 5 years ago, ended up with 2 partial plates.
And now I can’t whistle our cat in at night.

Pride may cometh before a fall, but so does vanity. http://bestsmileys.com/sad/4.gif
Continuing with prayers.

Love,

reens

 

[BarbaraTherese]

Quoting Reen12

I was worried did you have some nice
soft food to dine on when you came home. http://bestsmileys.com/nono/9.gif
Thank heaven, it’s 2008, not 1958, huh?

Hi Reen…bought a cooked chicken on the way home and Buddie, the puppy, Missie my cat and I enjoyed that.

ooooo, have there been changes for the good,
in those 50 years. *
I take a 1958 mindset into a 21st century *dental office.]
About 5 years ago, ended up with 2 partial plates.
And now I can’t whistle our cat in at night.

A gentleman in the reception room and I were only reflecting on the same thing. Dentist day is always shudder day for me, and after the event I wonder why on earth I was concerned since it is all quite painless - or that 1958 mindset…and the power of the imagination and perhaps ‘prophecy syndrome’

Pride may cometh before a fall, but so does vanity.

… …

Love - Barb