Absolution Withheld

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A second opinion from another priest might be good. A break up can destroy the relationship and I assume that’s not something you want, but also there is how it is unnecessary where other actions can be taken that can achieve similar results.
 
I have to wonder if it’s not a misunderstanding, perhaps it was a warning that it would be a mortal sin for the OP to go to another priest for absolution?
Either way, it’s not true. So either way, the priest was way off the mark to say that.
 
Again, we only know what a poster has relayed about the incident. There could be a lot of factors here. The priest has the awesome responsibility here to be someone’s confessor AND help guide them. And we don’t know the other side of this equation. I have been counseled into sin by priests and so I am indeed sensitive to the idea that one could or even should go talk to another priest. But we have no idea if that is the case here. I think it is a conclusion we should not jump to saying that this priest was sinful or counseled incorrectly when he may have counseled different that we would have. 9 times out of 10, when someone says “a priest told me” what follows is pretty tangled and misconstrued. But, I’ve had priests say some pretty horrible things so I do know it happens. But I also know that people like to shop around when they hear something that is hard or they don’t like. And that is not a good idea either. I’m in no position to second guess the priest and tell the op to ignore spiritual advice given in the confessional. (unless a priest suggests something sinful.) If I were that priest I wouldn’t have handled it the way the OP relayed, but then again if I were Pope I would handle things differently too. The point is I am not. And I’m not willing to stand before God in her place based on my advice that may not have all the story.
The simple answer here is for the OP to get personal and clear explanations from the priest, not from the internet.
 
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Assuming that what the poster relayed was accurate, I concur that the priest (unless the OP just happened to be in Vatican City and confessed to the Pope) has no authority to bind another priest from giving absolution under pain of mortal sin. That would be a red flag for me to run away and never go to that priest again unless sirens were going off warning of an impeding nuclear attack and he was the only priest nearby.

My personal thought is that one actually should seek a variety of counsel - go to diocesan, order, Opus Dei, Canons Regular SJC (or another group that does the EF), priests from various foreign countries, even a liberal ordained from the 1970s. If they all say the same thing, it’s a good bet that what they are all saying should be listened to.
 
I know that. We should not lust, regardless. But does lust mean we shouldn’t marry, if we’re single, and we lust? We should not lust, and when we choose to stop lusting, then we should marry, right? Why else would we lust if we weren’t feeling called to marriage?
Knowing that one is unable to handle lifelong celibacy has been a reason people have left the seminary to get married. It amazes me that people (including clergy) fault people who seek marriage because they know they can’t handle lifelong celibacy; it goes completely opposite to what is written in in 1 Corinthians 7 that if a person cannot contain himself/exercise self control, that person should marry rather than burn (of course, with safeguards that one doesn’t make a hasty/rash decision, but that is a separate discussion).

If a person’s stomach is growling, we don’t tell them that they can’t have food until after their stomach has stopped growling; we give them food so their stomach stops growling.
 
Why are you seeking absolution for a sin you have no intention of stopping? You’re only seeking another priest because the one you went to saw the truth and refused to absolve you of something you really don’t want to change.

Just because you think this is the guy you are to marry one day doesn’t give you an excuse to sleep with him before the wedding night.

The priest you went to sees all of this. He gave you sound advice that you don’t want to follow. You want to have your cake and eat it too.

Do what the priest said and break it off with your boyfriend for 3 months or however long it takes you to marry him.
If you can’t do that, you don’t really want to change your situation or to receive the absolution you claim to want so much.
 
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tafan2:
I have to wonder if it’s not a misunderstanding, perhaps it was a warning that it would be a mortal sin for the OP to go to another priest for absolution?
Either way, it’s not true. So either way, the priest was way off the mark to say that.
The priest may not have said any such thing.
 
I offer my apologies, Father. Your advice is greater than what I could offer.

Thank you for your advice, which I am sure the original poster appreciates.

God Bless You.
 
Now that’s just ridiculous. You could marry your boyfriend, and thus these things would no longer be sinful.
 
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