I don’t know if I’d count this as a prejudice though. Rude certainly, but are people who are single really treated differently than those who are married?
Yes. It often depends on the organization you work for, but oftentimes married people – especially those with children – are allowed all sorts of “time off” – got to leave work early to pick up the kids/make dinner, can’t work in the evenings/weekends, can’t go away on taskings, etc. No such excuse for us single guys – we were expected to clock in/out on the dot, stay late, work every exercise, etc. I didn’t mind doing the duties in my terms of reference – but you got tired after a while of other folks getting all sorts of breaks because of marital status.
I remember a number of years we were scrambling to find people to send to the various military schools as instructors. Commanding officer decided it wouldn’t be “fair” to send any of the seven other eligible people, as they all had “families” and it would have too much of a “serious impact”. So I got sent instead (which necessitated me cancelling a lot of plans, including a plane trip and a college course), since I was single and didn’t “have a family”.
Note that in each of the other cases, the CO *asked *each if they wanted to go. Upon receiving negatives, I was not asked, but ordered – solely because of my marital status.
This would happen for a number of years – only one year, the Group Commander said to me, “Sarge, I think we’ve sent you away enough…let’s give someone else a chance.” So he then asked one of my colleagues (who had heretofore not been tasked) to go on a tasking – she said, “I don’t want to leave my kids all summer. Why not send him? He doesn’t have a family.” Now, this colleague is a friend, and I love her dearly, but I told her off: “Why do
I have to do extra work because of *your *lifestyle choice?”
Now I’m not saying it’s all beer and skittles on the married side of the fence. From people that I’ve spoken with, the attitude above is typical for what’s called “family-friendly” organizations – in other words, no family, no friendly.
On the other hand, there is a whole sector that discriminates in the opposite way: if you want to progress/prosper/survive, you better not have any interests/allegiances outside the Company. One firm that my Donna applied for basically told her in an interview not to bother taking vacation time – everyone took vacation pay instead; taking vacation was seen as being “disloyal”. This seems to be a big thing with any company that bills itself in its want-ads as “fast-paced”, “dynamic”, “forward-thinking”, etc, all the business euphemisms for “no life outside the office”. You are expected to arrive early, leave late, work through lunch, and be ready to come in at the drop of a hat and work all hours on a project – in addition to take-home work.
On a similar side note: recruits in some branches of the Forces (notably the Marines) were discouraged from marriage. As one Marine NCO put it: “If the Corps wanted you to have a wife, you’d have been issued with one.”