Account: "The pornography pandemic of 2020."

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I completely agree that pornography is a pandemic in our society. Unfortunately, I am one of the millions of men that view it, and that’s while knowing how evil it is. I can honestly say it has ruined my life. If I could go back in time and change one thing about my past, it would be to prevent my teenage self from getting involved with this kind of stuff. I keep trying to break free from it, and sometimes even wind up having some success, but inevitably, wind up giving in. I just hope that I will eventually grow strong enough, through god’s grace, to permenantly rid myself of this grave evil that exists in my life. To any younger people that are reading this, trust me, steer clear of this stuff, you will be much better off.
 
My guess (and my experience) is that the real porn addiction is as rare as addiction to alcohol - essential majority of people use alcohol only occasionally and in the amounts that never come close to becoming drunk, it is just for taste, for ritual, for enjoyment. My experience also is - that people can use porn when they are not in normal relations, but there is no problem to abandon it when the right second half is found.

Besides - use of porn (and also use of popular (sub)culture) is the class issue. Intellectuals and people of higher class can use porn but their life if full of other activities, ideas and creativity, porn is just minor side issue. It can be different for lower class people who spend their days in agriculture, warehouses, malls, etc. Not always they manage to find meaningful mental and spiritual order of life and then the subculture and porn overwhelms them and even start to hurt them.

It is good that Church stands against porn and again and again says that it is bad thing and explains how bad it is to the watchers, to the producers and to the mediators. While I believe that essentially genuine porn stars can be (who enjoy their business and who is not subjected to the exploitation), the majority of actors are impoverished people.

That is why I think that it is good to listen to the Church, but more worldly means of solutions should be used. E.g. if the porn production is the social issue, then social security should be provided by the state. Social security and economic solidarity are essentially Catholic things. There are lot of saints who did just that.

And for individuals - psychology and psychotherapy should be used to manage the porn. My guess is - that while porn is not considered especially harmful by those medics, they nevertheless can point that more meaningful life above watching porn can exist and that it can be achieved by some therapy.

I have heard that not always therapists are speaking against porn. But we should be careful here. Those sad human beings who seek the psychological or even psychiatric help, are going through such amount of problems that more or less extensive use of porn is only minor side issue that can even help to live somehow through the basic problems. That is why therapists usually neglect the issue of porn (even when the patient brings it up) and try to focus on the core issues and not to overwhelm patient with additional strain. When the core issue is identified and resolved then the porn issue can be raised, but usually the patients have already left therapy by this time due to achieved results (and therapy costs).
 
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So - my conclusions are:
  • there is no wide porn addiction, people are just desperate for normal relationships. Some Catholics can feel over excessively tempted by the porn just because they are not in the normal intimate relationships and that distorts the view and attitude towards porn;
  • while it is good that Church speaks against porn, the more word-ly means of managing this issue can be more effective - e.g. social and economic support and solidarity and psychological therapy for achieving meaningful life and relationships. Social-liberal policies that brings all people up in the class strata and gives more meaningful jobs and life are essential remedy too.
 
Xarto said:
True but nearly everything has moved online. One of my former colleagues when introducing himself in the new job said how he had owned and managed two Sex Shops. He later explained that he had sold them once the internet started taking off as people could get their porn for free. Printed material is a lot less popular and then there is the embarrassment factor, will you be bold enough to take the magazine and present it to the cashier (probably female) for payment?
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I can understand that in developed nations broadband is preferred for entertainment and information exchange, overtaking storage media: VHS (1976), CD (1982), DVD (1996), BD (2006), and UHD-BD (2016).
 
Who was it that thought the internet was a good idea? Making porn available to children. Making hacking and ransomware profitable. Making privacy non-existent. Selling everyones personal data. Providing jobs for scammers in Nigeria. And who could live without pop-ups, pop-unders, vids that play while reading text. There is no internet in heaven; it’s reserved for the other place
 
Porn is an addiction. And like any other addiction, the “cravings” can be conquered, if the addict wants to quit. Key word is IF he/she wants to quit.

You can’t force a heavy smoker to quit smoking cigarettes. No matter how much data you put in front of them or remind them of the countless souls who died from smoking-related illnesses, they’re going to continue to smoke until they don’t want do (that’s even if they decide to quit). I smoked heavily for 7 years and I finally quit because I made the decision to give it up. Was it difficult? For sure. Did I relapse? Of course. But I eventually worked up the willpower to resist and been smoke-free for 11 years so far.

It’s the same thing with porn. I was a porn addict for years until I finally told myself enough is enough. Is the quitting process difficult? Oh yes. Did I relapse? Of course. But, I kept my faith in God to give me the strength I need to persevere. It’s an ongoing process but with our Lord’s guidance, I’ll overcome it. And if I can overcome it, anyone can, so long as he/she puts in the effort.
 
@I-Need-Hope_2020 I was a hardcore porn addict, and deep into it,
UNTIL I had a wake-up call, 1 month and a week
in the mental ward of the hospital. I saw a counsellor
who introduced me to Sexaholics Anonymous, and
that’s where I found the ability to combat my addiction
through a 12 step program similar to AA, and made me
accountable to a group with similar problems and unders-
tands the devastating effect of on-line porn. I am free of
porn since Dec 2016 thanks to SA.
 
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I don’t believe that smoking can be compared with the porn. There is no substitute for nicotine and that is why it is really hard to live free without it. Personally - I have never smoked, so I have no this addiction and I am happy about it.

It is opposite with porn. Porn itself it substitute for healthy relationships. So - if you find nice mate, the addiction is gone by itself. There is simply no comparison between the intimate relationships (which can be quite animal-like and more rude than in any porn) and the things that happen with porn. As I said in my previous post - it can be really messy to cope with porn while living in celibacy, but it is easy in real life.
 
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arvo said:
if you find nice mate, the addiction is gone by itself
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I am a frequent reader of the Nofap forum and sub-reddit, and I’ve read many accounts of people in a relationship, even married men, who struggle to quit with porn.

Also, living in celibacy is also real life…
 
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No sexual attraction in heaven and so we will all watch porn in heaven? ??
 
Wow, just checked in on this thread and it has certainly taken a weird direction…
 
arvo said:
It is opposite with porn. Porn itself it substitute for healthy relationships. So - if you find nice mate, the addiction is gone by itself. There is simply no comparison between the intimate relationships (which can be quite animal-like and more rude than in any porn) and the things that happen with porn. As I said in my previous post - it can be really messy to cope with porn while living in celibacy, but it is easy in real life.
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Marriage does not cure an addiction to porn.

Those who think this are naive.

I know too many wives whose husbands are addicted to porn.
 
I think a major issue is how porn is often made. Oftentimes there is rape and abuse that occurs either during the filming or to make women participate in uncomfortable and degrading sex acts. Trafficking also occurs sometimes and is very sad. Obviously not all porn is this way and some is made by willing and consenting adults who get paid, but just knowing that there is porn where real rape occurs and isn’t even taken off the porn sites when reported is sickening and should be enough to discourage anyone from those kind of sites
 
I’ve said it before, put all pornography behind a paywall with a black screen in front with no lewd pictures just an advisory warning stating you have to pay first to get in.

The payment would verify the age. And for those proud wealthy folks who give their kids credit cards and debit cards, at least you’ll see it on their statement. I assume giving your kids so much money you would check their statement at least.

Other counter arguments are first amendment. No. Porn is not legally sold to people underage in stores. Why, should it be free to minors on the internet?

Don’t have kids, gave up porn and became celibate at twenty-seven. I have a disability so can’t married and have kids, also can’t be a priest or a monk. But if I did have kids, they would have basic track phones with no internet access and we would not have internet in the home. The internet is a dangerous place filled with misinformation. I just assume all of you are dangerous people and I’m taking a risk posting this. But I feel I have to, to testify there are political solutions to the matter a political party can take up.
 
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The internet is also used for evangelization… CAF being a good example. Way back in 2004/2005, CAF played a key role in my conversion to Catholicism.
 
Irishmom2 said:
From the article:
”Get rid of technology in your home. Not just the TV; phones, the internet, ipods and ipads. Think about it, up until about 20 years ago we survived without it! We can today as well.“

So good to hear that pornography only became a problem in the last 20 years. :roll_eyes: A bigger problem due to accessibility, yes. But actual pornography and people’s desire for it is the real problem.
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Have you ever heard the saying before: intelligence is knowing x thing but wisdom is knowing y thing? Well it’s intelligent to know that you shouldn’t use porn but you can’t do it without wisdom.

Wisdom is knowing if a person has an addiction to porn which they watch on their phone then maybe part of the problem is the phone.

Porn wasn’t only a problem in the last 20 years but it’s certainly become normalised in the last 20 years. I personally know young people who treat porn as if it’s nothing becasue it’s so easily accessible on their phones. If their parents didn’t give them phones (not blaming the parents, just stating a fact) the people would probably have never watched porn in the first place, or at least not as regularly and would have been less likely to come across it in the first place

As for adults, if a well morally-educated adult wants a phone then fine but it’s common sense for someone who has a tendency for porn to eliminate the source of it (their phone). Sure you can get porn other places but it’s so easy to be able to watch it on a phone in seconds without having to buy anything from anyone face to face.

Phones are a big part of the problem and dismissing that is ignorant IMHO.
 
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