Simple, “I guess it isn’t profitable to sue one’s own parents for not supporting them during this time?” I don’t blame Catholic Charities for the fact that my birth parents couldn’t raise me, their parents couldn’t and wouldn’t help in raising me. Then again, I’m not mad about my adoption. As far as my birthmother is concerned, I am the only child she has done “right” by (according to her) and my birthfather has stated that he made the right decision because he wasn’t in a position to care for me and knew I deserved to have a stable home.news.yahoo.com/forced-adoptions-for-unwed-mothers-around-the-globe.html
How can I even respond to people criticizing the Church because of this???
Now, perhaps some people who were NOT adopted out but lived with a birth parent in a poor situation might find someone to sue for not placing them adoptively in better circumstances.Simple, “I guess it isn’t profitable to sue one’s own parents for not supporting them during this time?” I don’t blame Catholic Charities for the fact that my birth parents couldn’t raise me, their parents couldn’t and wouldn’t help in raising me. Then again, I’m not mad about my adoption. As far as my birthmother is concerned, I am the only child she has done “right” by (according to her) and my birthfather has stated that he made the right decision because he wasn’t in a position to care for me and knew I deserved to have a stable home.
My birth half sister hates me because I was placed for adoption and she wasn’t. She has thrown it in her mother’s face (my bmom) for years.Now, perhaps some people who were NOT adopted out but lived with a birth parent in a poor situation might find someone to sue for not placing them adoptively in better circumstances.
Just wanted to comment on your signature. I love the Rockford Diocese as well! I can’t wait to be baptized and confirmed! Only two weeks left!Simple, “I guess it isn’t profitable to sue one’s own parents for not supporting them during this time?” I don’t blame Catholic Charities for the fact that my birth parents couldn’t raise me, their parents couldn’t and wouldn’t help in raising me. Then again, I’m not mad about my adoption. As far as my birthmother is concerned, I am the only child she has done “right” by (according to her) and my birthfather has stated that he made the right decision because he wasn’t in a position to care for me and knew I deserved to have a stable home.
Which parish?Just wanted to comment on your signature. I love the Rockford Diocese as well! I can’t wait to be baptized and confirmed! Only two weeks left!
I think we have a winner.Simple, “I guess it isn’t profitable to sue one’s own parents for not supporting them during this time?”
What excuse is there for deceit by Catholic institutions?I wish the people under criticism here had shown more compassion, loving, supporting, and helping these older girls and young women during their pregnancies – rather than passing judgment on them and practicing deceitful practices.
Indeed. I don’t even try to defend such actions by members of my Church. I keep in mind that while the Church is perfect, its membership is not.And we who profess the Catholic faith are paying the price for the lies told by leaders in Catholic institutions.
You forgot to include “or sue their governments” [which as one example in the article clearly shows was involved in at least some of these cases].Simple, “I guess it isn’t profitable to sue one’s own parents for not supporting them during this time?” I don’t blame Catholic Charities for the fact that my birth parents couldn’t raise me, their parents couldn’t and wouldn’t help in raising me. Then again, I’m not mad about my adoption. As far as my birthmother is concerned, I am the only child she has done “right” by (according to her) and my birthfather has stated that he made the right decision because he wasn’t in a position to care for me and knew I deserved to have a stable home.
I believe that, while there was probably some lying it wasn’t as widespread as is being depicted in the article nor does it focus on the adoption laws and policies at the time in addition to the culture. Catholic Charities was not the only adoption organization yet it is the only one being sued, why is that? Secondly, CC or any other adoption organization was the second resort, the first being the families involved. When the individual families were not supportive, CC and other adoption agencies were sought. Were there “judgemental” physicians and nurses at the time? I"m sure, but again, probably they were the RARE exception. Our government did not have the widespread safety nets then as it does now. We live and learn. Closed adoption is rare now because the professionals (those with psych and soci degrees) finally realized how traumatic it was for adoptees. As we grow we learn, but I do not begrudge the past based on todays information. There are bigger fish to fry, like why do some states still not allow adoptees the right to their original birth certificates? Why does it take so long for parental rights to be severed when there is abuse, thus not allowing a child to be eligible for adoption and having to work their way through the foster system? Look at any adoption forum and you’ll see all of the areas where the law is still behind what seems like common decency. Why Dan Rather isn’t fighting for these changes is only a guess, but I’m sure it has nothing to do with compassion for those who suffer with adoption issues.I wish the people under criticism here had shown more compassion, loving, supporting, and helping these older girls and young women during their pregnancies – rather than passing judgment on them and practicing deceitful practices.
Truly, a lie is a sin, regardless of what benefit they thought they would be bringing about through their lies. And we who profess the Catholic faith are paying the price for the lies told by leaders in Catholic institutions.
OTOH, as a teacher in an inner city school, I have waaaaay too many students who were born to – and are being raised by – unmarried teenage parents. The level of poverty, crime, instability, and lack of educational readiness is horrific.
Still, a lie is a lie, no matter how small. And the institutionalization of these lies (and the immense pain caused by the lies and judgment of those in charge) makes giving up the child of an unplanned pregnancy seem far less desirable than killing the child through abortion.
Personally, articles like this are a call to penance in reparation for sin.
Gertie
Dan Rather does not promote adoption - he’s an abortion supporter. As one poster said the entire article looks like an ad for abortion.Closed adoption is rare now because the professionals (those with psych and soci degrees) finally realized how traumatic it was for adoptees. As we grow we learn, but I do not begrudge the past based on todays information. There are bigger fish to fry, like why do some states still not allow adoptees the right to their original birth certificates? Why does it take so long for parental rights to be severed when there is abuse, thus not allowing a child to be eligible for adoption and having to work their way through the foster system? Look at any adoption forum and you’ll see all of the areas where the law is still behind what seems like common decency. Why Dan Rather isn’t fighting for these changes is only a guess, but I’m sure it has nothing to do with compassion for those who suffer with adoption issues.
Many times a “story” like that is told because they don’t want people to know that they willingly gave up their child or made choices that resulted in the child be taken away. With our youngest foster child the mother has “lost” 5 children already and (God willing) will lose the 6th, but she maintains that she has been a victim of the system in all cases - including this one.The point of all of this is the birth mother’s truth is totally different now. According to her version of the current truth, we stole her child. We forced her into signing papers that she didn’t know what she was signing. etc etc. I was there, I know what the truth is. I have the papers initialed line by line that were read aloud and explained line by line. The birthmothers father tried to fight and everything was hashed out in court. The court and has its version of the truth.
But she now tells everyone we stole her child against her will.
You don’t. They did wrong and should be criticized for doing illegal adoptionsHow can I even respond to people criticizing the Church because of this???
And that is why the suing doesn’t make sense. Society, the culture, at the time was just as much a part of the problem. You can’t go back and sue society, and it’s not profitable to sue one’s family,so who’s left? The adoption agencies, but the only one being focused on is Catholic Charities. Not all of the other agencies. Again, the adoption laws have improved from when I was adopted but they still need to be worked on. Why not take the energy and work toward changing the law? And I would venture to guess that many of those who help in aiding adoptions have never been adoptees or birth parents. If so, I think things would change even more (and for the better).This story upsets me because when I grew up I remember the treatment unmarried girls recieved from the "proper ladies"I remember the abusive way they were spoken to.and treated.A lot of these girls came from good homes with the ability to take care of their children but were shamed and forced to give up their child.The y were NOT all “bad” girls.most of them were naive at best and also like a cousin of mine shipped off to Australia at fifteen years old because of incest and the family were scared she’d talk.I know of some who were refused pain control as a punishment Some punishment !!!,they were a target for every medical bully in the health care system If all sin is forgiveable why did these girls get the extra punishment of having their children torn from them> I understood the Catholic Church considers the bond of mother and child as sacred . doesn’t seem so when a "visible " sin is walking around. I also know of a young woman adopted at birth by wealthy people and the mother treated her emotionally like dirt she \s now forty years old and still in therapy .So As I am aware many adopted children were better off NOT all of them are and many mothers had no choice.Society wonders why abortion /birth control are so prevalent well just think back to those years and the horror some women went through many times alone and scared and suddenly abortion/ABC look like good alternatives many were driven to It.Why weren’t every ones sins paraded around and pointed at or was it just because a pregnant woman is so vulnerable she was a good target to take the focus from other peoples transgressions .There is now evidence being uncovered in Scotland back inthe 30/40 where working class MARRIED women would not go to a hospital for childbirth they delivered at home because so many babies “died” during the night.It has come out that the babies were being sold to couples and shipped tpo Australia and Canada to populate the colonies .And guess what? most of these babies were Catholic! it was the governments way of keeping the Catholic population down in the industrial areas Cheaper to send them to the colonies than provide for them .I personally know an old woman who lost her twins this way .She was told by a junior employee after her twins were reported "dead’ So just keep your ears open till this story hits the Fan in the UK
100% agree with you! And it still goes on today (though I have to say, many Catholic schools are trying to correct the double standard, letting go teachers who are not only pregnant out of wedlock or via IVF but men who are remarried without annulments, those with same sex partners, etc.). It’s such a difficult position to be in for Catholic schools, trying to show compassion while also trying to set good examples for children whose souls are being developed. Our bishop wrote last year that if parents aren’t living their faith at home they should consider looking at other schools instead of the Catholic ones they want to send their children to. To me, that was a very good and powerful statement.No,I don’t agree with the suing either it serves no purpose and like the sex scandals t will be so scewered no one will know what sides up.But for years I have felt society which relied on all the Churches to wield its moral duty treat so may of these girls despicably .we have discovered an old makeshift grave yard outside Montreal with the bodies of babies and young women obviously dead from childbirth trauma and they just disappeared covenientlty.They were treated as dispensable Also the atitude of a lot of"good" men back then that if a woman was un married mother she was anyones sexual property and she had to put up with the sneers and dirty jokes of the “good” people while they crossed themselves on the way into the Church.What about the sins of the fathers ,seldom heard about his sins or mistakes ,lots of suggestions on ow to make sure she never done it again but no one ever thought about tying a knot in his desires…This is a subject that really gets up my nose because i witnessed it in my lifetime.Just because a couple is married and passes an iterview with some social workers does not mean they are better parents.Only time tells that 90%of these youg women were decent girls their “sin” just happenned to grow legs and walk .What about all the lies a deceit and theft everywhere where was society
's punishment for that?