Adultery?

[CatholicRaven]

Apparently she has told him and he has taken it very badly indeed!! He took quite a few pain killers in one go the other night to help him sleep!! My sister is very worried. She feels so guilty!!!

If anything happened to him i just dont know how she would cope!!

If he makes stupid choices because he is upset, that is not her fault, it is his. And if he is the one who told her that just to make her feel guilty, then he is manipulative and I’d be inclined to think it’s a very good thing that she got out of that relationship before it got much worse!

She CANNOT control what he chooses to do. She is not responsible for his bad choices or behavior–even if he claims that she “made” him or “forced” him to do something by making him feel bad. Don’t let him try and convince her otherwise. He may even try implying or threatening to kill himself if she leaves him for good–this is a typical tactic used by emotionally abusive people. And if she falls for it, it will not get better.

Let me repeat the most important point here: she cannot control his behavior. This cannot be overstated. She is not his God, she is not the Holy Spirit, she is not his Savior.

Will continue to pray!

 

[LongingSoul]

Apparently she has told him and he has taken it very badly indeed!! He took quite a few pain killers in one go the other night to help him sleep!! My sister is very worried. She feels so guilty!!!

If anything happened to him i just dont know how she would cope!!

The way to distinguish love from the biological addiction of our feelings… is that love always chooses what is right in the eyes of God even if it hurts. It may sound very clinical but the pair of them have to treat their ‘breakup’ as you would an addiction to drugs. It will eventually let them loose but generally the best thing is to go cold turkey and focus on their spiritual healing through confession and spiritual counselling or direction.

It seems your sister is someone who has a real relationship with God and for someone like that, to continue with the affair will never be reconcilable to her. It’s good that she has a support person like you to talk to about the suffering that this ‘breakup’ will be for her.

 

[Ash_Wednesday]

I will pray for your sister – and everyone involved. I read through this thread – the only way she can be truly pleasing to God is to cease her relationship with this man. I think remaining with him will only bring her more confusion and heartache. She will keep wanting something with him that she cannot have if she wishes to remain in a state of grace. True love is not some sentiment involving warm fuzzy feelings, companionship and comfort. True love often involves suffering, sacrifice and hard decisions. No person on this earth is worth risking your soul. God must come first, it is the only way to have true peace in our lives.

 

[ajecphotos]

I will pray for your sister – and everyone involved. I read through this thread – the only way she can be truly pleasing to God is to cease her relationship with this man. I think remaining with him will only bring her more confusion and heartache. She will keep wanting something with him that she cannot have if she wishes to remain in a state of grace. True love is not some sentiment involving warm fuzzy feelings, companionship and comfort. True love often involves suffering, sacrifice and hard decisions. No person on this earth is worth risking your soul. God must come first, it is the only way to have true peace in our lives.

Thank you and everyone for your comments.