Advice Nanny Job -discrimination issue

[Care2Give4ever]

I would like to have a well paid nanny job with a nice catholic family. I have many years of experience working with children. I have references to support me. However, I’m having a problem. Its not a big deal but I get discriminated against in my home country of South Korea. I have bipolar disorder so I take medication to help me. I have my disorder fully under control with medicine and eating healthy. This challenge does not affect my work however, people doubt that I am capable of having a job because of this. Its unfair because everyone has some kind of problem and we should have compassion for one another.

Does anyone have any advice about this situation? Also, what can I do about finding a nanny job in this situation?

Sincerely,
Sunny

 

[Em_in_FL]

Why are your private medical issues a concern for your potential employers?
It’s none of their business, nor should it even be discussed.

 

[BeaumontAlum]

I am unsure of what you feel like you are discriminated against, being bipolar or Catholic. I also totally unsure of the general situation in Korea but I would think that organizations that provide nannies provide that sort of screening. You say I would like work for a Catholic family, a family says we are looking for a Catholic nanny. I could see it maybe taking a while to find that match tho, maybe see if their are any Catholic nanny organizations that would be just what you need. While it would be ideal to work for a Catholic family, it may not be be that easy to find, depending on how badly you need employment, you may need to open up a bit. Maybe at minimum a Christian family. As long as the family does not compromise your Catholic beliefs, any family could be an option.

As far as being bipolar, I think that’s tricky. First, you must be 100% certain your disease is 100% under control. You said you are on your meds, which is good but do you ever go thru periods when you are off them? Do you ever have any sort of episodes, highs or lows? There are many people whose bipolar condition is ‘under control’ but that doesn’t necessarily mean their behavior is fitting for that of a nanny. You mentioned you have experience and rwferences, so I assume your in good standing behavior but understand many people, including myself, would have reservations. Should you experience any mood swings or go off your meds, it could be really bad for a child/family. You want to be open and honest with a family, which would mean telling them you are bipolar, I know I would want to know but I am slightly tempted to say if your completely under control it should never be an issues therefore what they don’t know wont hurt them, but again I think you should, but there is going to be many families that would not be comfortable with that.

I will pray for your mental health and gainful employment and hope things work out for you.

 

[Allegra]

Are you looking for a live-in nanny position? If so, I would be concerned that might be really hard on your bipolar because of a lack of a place to retreat to. However, there’s no reason why you couldn’t be a day nanny. My sister has bipolar and she is excellent with kids! I don’t think it’s your employer’s business. If they don’t think you are doing a good job, they can fire you. They have no right to descriminate against you.

 

[Pink_Lemonade]

Have you actually been rejected because of your mental illness, and if so are you certain there is no other issue that might be preventing you from being hired?

If your disorder is well-controlled, then I am not sure I understand why it has even come up. Are you volunteering the information? If you are capable of the job and give parents no reason to doubt you, then they would have no way of knowing unless you tell them.

Even if it is controlled now, are you absolutely certain that being a nanny is the best fit for you professionally? While it is true that “everyone has some kind of problem”, some of us have problems that make it more difficult to be in certain careers. I have a chronic pain condition that unfortunately has made me rule out a profession that I would love to be in. As much as I would love the work, I would be unable to do it well. Perhaps you are right that it is a non-issue for you, but certain professions that involve direct care of children or patients require more vigilance than other careers such as an office job.

 

[Imryl]

I wouldn’t hire someone who was bipolar to watch my children, and if I found out they were I would let them go. Whether or not it was controlled by medication is of no concern. It’s not discriminatory. You have no right to be employed by me and I have every right to control who watches my children.

You could always decide not to take the medication and I don’t want to deal with that.

 

[Allegra]

I wouldn’t hire someone who was bipolar to watch my children, and if I found out they were I would let them go. Whether or not it was controlled by medication is of no concern. It’s not discriminatory. You have no right to be employed by me and I have every right to control who watches my children.

You could always decide not to take the medication and I don’t want to deal with that.

How would you know if they didn’t tell you. You might have a person with bipolar disorder watching your children at this moment. You would be foolish to let go a person who is great with your kids and does a great job because of your predjudice against an emotional disorder that is being medically treated and is under control. What if I said, well a diabetic can always forget to take their bloodsugar and end up having an episode. I’m not risking hiring a diabetic. Or how about someone who is allergic to bees? You never know when a bee is going to sting them and they might die and that would really stress your kids out as well as leave them alone and unsupervised for the whole afternoon! Clearly those with bee allergies are not fit to care for children.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

How would you know if they didn’t tell you. You might have a person with bipolar disorder watching your children at this moment. You would be foolish to let go a person who is great with your kids and does a great job because of your predjudice against an emotional disorder that is being medically treated and is under control. What if I said, well a diabetic can always forget to take their bloodsugar and end up having an episode. I’m not risking hiring a diabetic. Or how about someone who is allergic to bees? You never know when a bee is going to sting them and they might die and that would really stress your kids out as well as leave them alone and unsupervised for the whole afternoon! Clearly those with bee allergies are not fit to care for children.

It doesn’t matter, the parent has the right to screen out people whom they see as not able to handle the job. If it’s a health condition that won’t affect the person’s ability to care for children, then fine. If it’s a possibility that the children could be in danger if the disease suddenly took a bad turn, then I would not hire such a person. No one has a right to a job.

Of course this can be entirely avoided when one parent stays home with the children…

 

[Allegra]

It doesn’t matter, the parent has the right to screen out people whom they see as not able to handle the job. If it’s a health condition that won’t affect the person’s ability to care for children, then fine. If it’s a possibility that the children could be in danger if the disease suddenly took a bad turn, then I would not hire such a person. No one has a right to a job.

Of course this can be entirely avoided when one parent stays home with the children…

The poster didn’t say that she would fire a person who could not handle the job. She said she would fire a person for the sole reason that they had bipolar disorder. She has the right to do that, and I have the right to not think very highly of it.

 

[Moore11]

I would like to have a well paid nanny job with a nice catholic family. I have many years of experience working with children. I have references to support me. However, I’m having a problem. Its not a big deal but I get discriminated against in my home country of South Korea. I have bipolar disorder so I take medication to help me. I have my disorder fully under control with medicine and eating healthy. This challenge does not affect my work however, people doubt that I am capable of having a job because of this. Its unfair because everyone has some kind of problem and we should have compassion for one another.

Does anyone have any advice about this situation? Also, what can I do about finding a nanny job in this situation?

Sincerely,
Sunny

does not sound like discrimination, it sounds like discernment. People should have a right to hire whom they wish especially when it comes to children. I hope you find a job but lets keep the discrimination charge on the shelf and only use it for real discrimination.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

The poster didn’t say that she would fire a person who could not handle the job. She said she would fire a person for the sole reason that they had bipolar disorder. She has the right to do that, and I have the right to not think very highly of it.

So would I. Of course I would be kind about it, but if I found out that the person had a condition like that, especially if they didn’t disclose it, I’d let them go in a heartbeat.

 

[maryjk]

So would I. Of course I would be kind about it, but if I found out that the person had a condition like that, especially if they didn’t disclose it, I’d let them go in a heartbeat.

 

[Gwendolen]

I’m going to give you a perspective as a person who had a nanny caring for our children for several years.

Keep in mind, that the parents don’t yet know you personally. So they are going to have to use whatever information they have at hand to make the best decision for who is going to care for their children. They are not judging YOU, they are trying to predict how a situation might turn out.

With that in mind, I googled bipolar and employment. I found several anecdotes that stated on average, persons with bipolar disorder had a lot more sick days on average, than an employer without. Here is a study that backs that up.

“Employees with bipolar disorder missed an average of 18.9 workdays annually, while employees without bipolar disorder missed 7.4 days annually (p < .05).”

Here is the link for reference. ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16965198

Every time our nanny missed work, one of us would have to miss work as well. Our nanny was a rock, and only missed about 4 days in 6 years.

I can’t afford to miss 19 days of work – I’d get fired after about 6, besides which, I am a nurse, so when I call in, it can really affect patient care.

(the comment from PP who said “this problem would be avoided if one parent would just stay home,” I perceived as mean spirited, judgmental and did not appreciate AT ALL. I will not let anyone feel let me feel guilty for working part time taking care of sick people, and providing for my own family–that comment was uncalled for, did you consider people may be reading it who are or have been working mothers?)

but moving on, if I am looking for a nanny, and trying to predict an outcome, this would concern me. I would also be asking how long you had worked at your other jobs. It is very disruptive for children to have to change nannies, so I would be concerned about how long you would stay. For this, I would want to see something like a job that you had for 3 or 4 years.

Consider also this link : hrhero.com/hl/articles/2012/04/18/understanding-employees-with-bipolar-disorder/

First of all, towards the end of the article, it clearly suggests that not hiring someone with bipolar disorder solely on the the basis that they have bipolar disorder is discriminatory, so I think that words does fit your situation. However, based on the article you can also clearly see how challenging employees with this disorder can be for their employers, and hopefully you can have empathy for parents trying to figure out who to entrust their children to.

To alleviate their fears, it is best to demonstrate job longevity with few ill calls, clean driving record, and someone that can vouch for stable temperament over a period of years. If someone who suffered from bipolar disorder had been able to maintain job for years, with few ill calls, had friends/people in their lives for years that could vouch for them, genuinely loved children and was good with them, I would consider her. On the other hand, if someone got stressed out easily, that would not have been the person to leave for 9 hours at a time without our handful of a toddler. Our nanny greatly enhanced the peace and calmness in our home, and still is very much a part of our children’s lives - we all consider her family.

 

[Moore11]

How would you know if they didn’t tell you. You might have a person with bipolar disorder watching your children at this moment. You would be foolish to let go a person who is great with your kids and does a great job because of your predjudice against an emotional disorder that is being medically treated and is under control. What if I said, well a diabetic can always forget to take their bloodsugar and end up having an episode. I’m not risking hiring a diabetic. Or how about someone who is allergic to bees? You never know when a bee is going to sting them and they might die and that would really stress your kids out as well as leave them alone and unsupervised for the whole afternoon! Clearly those with bee allergies are not fit to care for children.

You might have a nanny that is an alcoholic as well. Perhaps you dont even know about it. But if you did you would be wise to make that a huge factor of employment. I see no problem with the criteria a family uses to find care for children being no mental disorders.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

How would you know if they didn’t tell you. You might have a person with bipolar disorder watching your children at this moment. You would be foolish to let go a person who is great with your kids and does a great job because of your predjudice against an emotional disorder that is being medically treated and is under control. What if I said, well a diabetic can always forget to take their bloodsugar and end up having an episode. I’m not risking hiring a diabetic. Or how about someone who is allergic to bees? You never know when a bee is going to sting them and they might die and that would really stress your kids out as well as leave them alone and unsupervised for the whole afternoon! Clearly those with bee allergies are not fit to care for children.

Drug testing. Yes, I would make any person working with my kids get drug tested.

 

[BlueEyedLady]

Drug testing. Yes, I would make any person working with my kids get drug tested.

Most drug tests don’t test for drugs used to treat common mental disorders. The only class I can even think of that would show up is benzos. And even then that’s only on advanced drug tests that cost extra. Most employers don’t bother with them.

If a person can hold a job and do it well disqualifying them on the basis of something like that opens you up to a huge lawsuit.

And really, what’s with the fear of well controlled mental illness? You have no idea if your child’s teacher or daycare employees have one.

Oh, and BTW, there is a strong push to get more bipolars to be able to control their condition and manage to live and function well without the use of meds. Which is one of the big goals for most mentally ill patients anyway. So if the nanny was doing that well even the most advanced thousand dollar plus tests wouldn’t tell you anything.

Likewise, I would be far happier trusting someone who is actively controlling their condition than I would hiring someone with an undiagnosed or untreated one.

 

[Moore11]

Most drug tests don’t test for drugs used to treat common mental disorders. The only class I can even think of that would show up is benzos. And even then that’s only on advanced drug tests that cost extra. Most employers don’t bother with them.

If a person can hold a job and do it well disqualifying them on the basis of something like that opens you up to a huge lawsuit.

And really, what’s with the fear of well controlled mental illness? You have no idea if your child’s teacher or daycare employees have one.

Oh, and BTW, there is a strong push to get more bipolars to be able to control their condition and manage to live and function well without the use of meds. Which is one of the big goals for most mentally ill patients anyway. So if the nanny was doing that well even the most advanced thousand dollar plus tests wouldn’t tell you anything.

Likewise, I would be far happier trusting someone who is actively controlling their condition than I would hiring someone with an undiagnosed or untreated one.

But wouldn’t the ultimate happiness come from hiring a nanny who did not have a “condition” at all?

I think when you hire private caregivers or glorified babysitters in my area it would be expected to find the most stable one possible. It isnt like affirmative action in a fortune 500 company. It is a surrogate mommy.

 

[BlueEyedLady]

But wouldn’t the ultimate happiness come from hiring a nanny who did not have a “condition” at all?

I think when you hire private caregivers or glorified babysitters in my area it would be expected to find the most stable one possible. It isnt like affirmative action in a fortune 500 company. It is a surrogate mommy.

Maybe, maybe not. Depends on how well controlled the disorder is, how the person functions, and who the alternatives are. But I know several excellent caretakers, and parents for that matter, who live with a mental disorder and function perfectly well. You probably know those people too, you just don’t know about their mental illness.

More to the point even though nannies work for a family in most states and in most circumstances the ADA and all other employment discrimination laws apply. That means no asking about age, race, or disability. And a bipolar disorder is covered under that. As long as the person can perform all of the job duties they can’t be discriminated against. And that judgement is not for the employer to make. If the employee says they can then that has to be believed until proven otherwise. Otherwise there is a potential for major lawsuits.

 

[VivienneJ]

When you talk about the possibility of law suits and employment discrimination laws, remember that the OP is not in the United States of America.

More to the point even though nannies work for a family in most states and in most circumstances the ADA and all other employment discrimination laws apply. That means no asking about age, race, or disability. And a bipolar disorder is covered under that. As long as the person can perform all of the job duties they can’t be discriminated against. And that judgement is not for the employer to make. If the employee says they can then that has to be believed until proven otherwise. Otherwise there is a potential for major lawsuits.

I would like to have a well paid nanny job with a nice catholic family. I have many years of experience working with children. I have references to support me. However, I’m having a problem. Its not a big deal but I get discriminated against in my home country of South Korea. I have bipolar disorder so I take medication to help me. I have my disorder fully under control with medicine and eating healthy. This challenge does not affect my work however, people doubt that I am capable of having a job because of this. Its unfair because everyone has some kind of problem and we should have compassion for one another.

Does anyone have any advice about this situation? Also, what can I do about finding a nanny job in this situation?

Sincerely,
Sunny

Unless one knows the employment laws of South Korea, any kind of legal advice for Sunny is pointless. Advising her of ways she could prove to be a stable person is probably the best any of us could do for her. If she is now living in the USA and asking advice on applying for this type of employment in the USA then labour-law guidance would be helpful.

Why are your private medical issues a concern for your potential employers?
It’s none of their business, nor should it even be discussed.

This is the case in the USA, but not world-wide. Where I work you are expected to disclose a lot of what is considered personal information and none of your employer’s business as a routine part of applying for any employment.

 

[BlueEyedLady]

Sorry. Not trying to give the OP legal advice. Just pointing out to the people on this board who insist that no one with mental disorders would take care of their children that that presents a lot of problems.