Advice needed- Long time Christian wanting to become Catholic but not baptized

[jamzimm]

Hello everyone. I am so glad to have you all to bring my questions and prayer requests to, of which I have many. Thank you for being here and willing to help.

I am planning to begin RCIA this fall, yet I have been doing my own learning through non-stop research and lots of prayer! I’ve been a Christian for about 13 years and have recently been called to the Catholic Church through painful circumstances which I’m still enduring.

Though I have been a follower of Jesus all this time, I was up until recently under the belief that baptism is not necessary for salvation. Through my time and experience in non-denominational and baptist churches (most time in non-denominational), it was instilled within me that baptism has always been extremely important, and an expression of faith. Now, I understand differently, that baptism is what Christ commanded of us to be saved.

The circumstance is, I am and have been since the start of my faith, the only member of my direct family who is a Christian. I waited on baptism (which I regret) so I could have my parents and maybe my sister there to witness the beautiful sacrament. It would have meant so much to me to have them there, and I thought that the day would come. However, I realize now that I cannot withhold God’s graces for myself until they receive graces as well. I trust in God’s will and timing.

That brings me to my present situation. I have planned for quite a while now (before my inquiry stage began) to be baptized by the pastor of the church that I have been attending most recently prior to my inquiry period. He does baptisms I believe each year over the summer, and it has been a long time coming for me to be baptized this August.

My heart has been feeling so heavy recently and I desire to be baptized so badly, and I really want to go through with the baptism that I have been planning on for so long. I do not know what the immediate future holds, and what if something occurs that keeps me from becoming Catholic during the next Rite of Initiation? I understand the Baptism of Desire, and I truly believe that I have had this ever since I became a Christian, and that I have the Holy Spirit, as the Lord has done countless things in my life and brought me through so much that could only have been possible through Him. That being said, now that I am fully knowledgeable of the importance of baptism, I can’t stop thinking about it and I want to be baptized as soon as possible.

Another thing to note is that because of the development in my Christian faith that I have had and my extensive research (basically occurring every waking minute) of the Catholic faith, I believe I should be considered a Candidate within RCIA, as I know the Church respects all walks of Christian faith. I will be explaining my entire situation to the Religious Education coordinator during our appointment in a couple weeks. I truly hope they consider every unique situation, but I am unsure, as my parish is the largest in the diocese, and there are hundreds of catechumens who are initiated every year. I know many who were just recently fully received in May!

Do you have any advice? Please help, and please be kind and charitable! I am doing my best to discern every right step.

Thank you so much!

 

[Catholic1954]

Peace be with you and Welcome Home! If you are truly considering coming into the Catholic Church, why in the world would you want to be baptized anywhere else? Even though you are thinking like a candidate, you are really a catechumen right now and there is nothing wrong with that. Please keep your appointment with the Religious Education Director and bring all of your questions, issues and concerns. Feel free to make an appointment with the pastor for more information. Your family will be most welcome to come to your baptism at the Easter Vigil and celebrate with you; it will be the happiest day of your life.

 

[GratefulFred]

In our Catholic Faith, we have our babies baptised. We understand the importance of Baptism and that it is a Gift from God. Not every child lives long enough to make their own choice. We have the Sacrament of Confirmation, usually about age 13-15. We make the baptism decision for our babies and we promise to raise them in the Catholic Faith.

For adults, validly baptised in another Christian faith or not, they should want to know just what they are accepting in becoming Catholic. Those who have previously been validly baptised are not baptised a second time.

In your case, I would ask you to explain your private study and ask the Priest if you are now ready for Baptism. If he agrees, he may baptise you and you would attend the RCIA course of study to gain a more fuller understanding so that, in time, you will be ready to receive the Sacraments of Reconciliation, Holy Eucharist, and Confirmation Bottom line, the Priest determines when you are ready for Baptism.

As for announcing and explaining your decision to become Catholic, that depends on the basic relationship you have with each person. Some may be shocked and resentful. Lots of resistance to change and lots of fear of being shown up, fear of you rejecting them. I would ask those guiding you into the Church how best to let your family know your decision.

Jesus, I trust in You.

 

[ProdglArchitect]

I would wait till you enter the Church. While the Baptism at your current community would probably be considered valid (assuming proper form, i.e., In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit), I don’t see why you would want to be baptized there instead of in the Church you’ve come to know as the Truth.

If there’s an imminent threat of death, then the priest at the parish you’re looking to join would go ahead and baptize you. If, on the other hand, you’re just concerned about not being a baptized Christian, now that you know you need to be, then I still wouldn’t be too concerned. God knows that you want to be baptized, and in Catholicism there’s a concept known as the Baptism of Desire. If something were to happen, even though you aren’t baptized, God knows your desire to be, so it wouldn’t be held against you.

 

[Casilda]

So sorry they are discounting your personal study into Catholicism and making you wait until the fall. My husband, a lifelong Christian, studied catholicism for over ten years (deep theological stuff) and the directors of rcia wanted him to go through a two year study. He interviewed with a priest (what I highly recommend you doing) and he was accepted through this examination. Just saying, not all rcia programs/directors/teachers are the same, I found many lacking in what they teach and their scheduling too rigid for real life. It should really be a year round drop-in program.

Regarding baptism, when my father died, the first thing my deacon asked me was if my dad was baptized, I replied, “and confirmed!”

Yes, it’s THAT important. Even Lutheran and Presbyterian pastors go to hospitals when a baby may not make it to make sure of this one sacrament.

You see the need to come home to the Catholic church, I would not delay baptism, TALK to your PRIEST. Make an appointment, don’t let office staff deter you or tell you that happens when you are received after rcia, tell them you want to talk to the priest and ASK him about baptizing you.

If they try to delay it, try another priest, then I would go ahead and get baptized (proper form of course) by what ever means. Anyone can baptize, using the proper form and water.

1240 In the Latin Church this triple infusion is accompanied by the minister’s words: “N., I baptize you in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.” In the Eastern liturgies the catechumen turns toward the East and the priest says: “The servant of God, N., is baptized in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.” At the invocation of each person of the Most Holy Trinity, the priest immerses the candidate in the water and raises him up again.

vatican.va/archive/ccc_css/archive/catechism/p2s2c1a1.htm

WHO CAN BAPTIZE?

1256 The ordinary ministers of Baptism are the bishop and priest and, in the Latin Church, also the deacon.57 In case of necessity, anyone, even a non-baptized person, with the required intention, can baptize58 , by using the Trinitarian baptismal formula. The intention required is to will to do what the Church does when she baptizes**. The Church finds the reason for this possibility in the universal saving will of God and the necessity of Baptism for salvation.**

Welcome home!

 

[Crusaderbear]

It will be done as part of becoming fully catholic. They do Baptism, confirmation, and communion all at once. Our church does it at the Easter vigil, timing at your location may vary! Welcome Home!

Check with the parish you will be a catechumen in to see if the baptism you are seeking is valid, else you will do it again! If it’s a sentimental thing, I’m sure something can bexworked out…

 

[jamzimm]

In our Catholic Faith, we have our babies baptised. We understand the importance of Baptism and that it is a Gift from God. Not every child lives long enough to make their own choice. We have the Sacrament of Confirmation, usually about age 13-15. We make the baptism decision for our babies and we promise to raise them in the Catholic Faith.

For adults, validly baptised in another Christian faith or not, they should want to know just what they are accepting in becoming Catholic. Those who have previously been validly baptised are not baptised a second time.

In your case, I would ask you to explain your private study and ask the Priest if you are now ready for Baptism. If he agrees, he may baptise you and you would attend the RCIA course of study to gain a more fuller understanding so that, in time, you will be ready to receive the Sacraments of Reconciliation, Holy Eucharist, and Confirmation Bottom line, the Priest determines when you are ready for Baptism.

As for announcing and explaining your decision to become Catholic, that depends on the basic relationship you have with each person. Some may be shocked and resentful. Lots of resistance to change and lots of fear of being shown up, fear of you rejecting them. I would ask those guiding you into the Church how best to let your family know your decision.

Jesus, I trust in You.

I will schedule an appointment with the pastor of my parish ASAP. I will explain everything to him, including the extent of my study and the details of my Christian walk. As far as my family goes, I don’t think things will be that different, as I have been a Christian all this time while they have not been. I just pray that one day they will know and love Jesus as I do, or more, if that is even possible! Thank you for your response.

 

[jamzimm]

I would wait till you enter the Church. While the Baptism at your current community would probably be considered valid (assuming proper form, i.e., In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit), I don’t see why you would want to be baptized there instead of in the Church you’ve come to know as the Truth.

If there’s an imminent threat of death, then the priest at the parish you’re looking to join would go ahead and baptize you. If, on the other hand, you’re just concerned about not being a baptized Christian, now that you know you need to be, then I still wouldn’t be too concerned. God knows that you want to be baptized, and in Catholicism there’s a concept known as the Baptism of Desire. If something were to happen, even though you aren’t baptized, God knows your desire to be, so it wouldn’t be held against you.

I just feel so awful and weighed down and feel like I should be baptized as soon as possible. I truly don’t believe I should have to wait. I have felt so convicted that this should happen this year, the next opportunity I have and I don’t want to be deprived of it any longer. I have wanted this for so long.

 

[jamzimm]

So sorry they are discounting your personal study into Catholicism and making you wait until the fall. My husband, a lifelong Christian, studied catholicism for over ten years (deep theological stuff) and the directors of rcia wanted him to go through a two year study. He interviewed with a priest (what I highly recommend you doing) and he was accepted through this examination. Just saying, not all rcia programs/directors/teachers are the same, I found many lacking in what they teach and their scheduling too rigid for real life. It should really be a year round drop-in program.

Regarding baptism, when my father died, the first thing my deacon asked me was if my dad was baptized, I replied, “and confirmed!”

Yes, it’s THAT important. Even Lutheran and Presbyterian pastors go to hospitals when a baby may not make it to make sure of this one sacrament.

You see the need to come home to the Catholic church, I would not delay baptism, TALK to your PRIEST. Make an appointment, don’t let office staff deter you or tell you that happens when you are received after rcia, tell them you want to talk to the priest and ASK him about baptizing you.

If they try to delay it, try another priest, then I would go ahead and get baptized (proper form of course) by what ever means. Anyone can baptize, using the proper form and water.

1240 In the Latin Church this triple infusion is accompanied by the minister’s words: “N., I baptize you in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.” In the Eastern liturgies the catechumen turns toward the East and the priest says: “The servant of God, N., is baptized in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.” At the invocation of each person of the Most Holy Trinity, the priest immerses the candidate in the water and raises him up again.

vatican.va/archive/ccc_css/archive/catechism/p2s2c1a1.htm

WHO CAN BAPTIZE?

1256 The ordinary ministers of Baptism are the bishop and priest and, in the Latin Church, also the deacon.57 In case of necessity, anyone, even a non-baptized person, with the required intention, can baptize58 , by using the Trinitarian baptismal formula. The intention required is to will to do what the Church does when she baptizes**. The Church finds the reason for this possibility in the universal saving will of God and the necessity of Baptism for salvation.**

Welcome home!

Casilda, your reply gives me so much hope. Thank you so much. I will certainly talk to the pastor at my parish. I will also ask to see if I could maybe have one on one sessions with a catechist or priest. I doubt this is possible though, just from considering the sheer number of catechumens and candidates the parish has each year and how busy the priests are.

Will a priest truly interview me and consider my level of catechesis even though I haven’t yet been baptized? Do priests sometimes baptize before the full official Rites of Initiation depending on each individual situation?

Thanks so much. I pray that this is a possibility for me.

 

[jamzimm]

It will be done as part of becoming fully catholic. They do Baptism, confirmation, and communion all at once. Our church does it at the Easter vigil, timing at your location may vary! Welcome Home!

Check with the parish you will be a catechumen in to see if the baptism you are seeking is valid, else you will do it again! If it’s a sentimental thing, I’m sure something can bexworked out…

The baptism that would happen in august is 100% truly valid, a Trinitarian baptism. I’m not sure what you mean about it being a sentimental thing. Would you mind explaining? Thank you so much.

 

[otjm]

My comments are not in any way meant to minimize the importance of baptism.

However, we have some people who appear to be rather set against the RCIA program. And while I am not going to pretend that all parishes have wonderful RCIA programs, they have a purpose.

Nor are they indtended to be a “full meal deal”, it is the start of entry into the Faith, but that journey should continue for a lifetime. In other words, RCIA is meant to be an introduction, and it is entirely possible you may learn from attending.

However, to the point about baptism: If someone who has never been baptized and is attedning RCIA should die before Holy Satruday Night (in other words, dies unbaptized), they will be buried as a member of the Church. They are entitled to a Catholic funeral, just as any baptized Catholic is.

Given that, if you choose the route of speaking with the pastor, do not be surprised if he wishes you to go through RCIA and be admitted to the Church next Easter. Some will, some won’t.

 

[Horton]

My comments are not in any way meant to minimize the importance of baptism.

However, we have some people who appear to be rather set against the RCIA program. And while I am not going to pretend that all parishes have wonderful RCIA programs, they have a purpose.

Nor are they indtended to be a “full meal deal”, it is the start of entry into the Faith, but that journey should continue for a lifetime. In other words, RCIA is meant to be an introduction, and it is entirely possible you may learn from attending.

However, to the point about baptism: If someone who has never been baptized and is attedning RCIA should die before Holy Satruday Night (in other words, dies unbaptized), they will be buried as a member of the Church. They are entitled to a Catholic funeral, just as any baptized Catholic is.

Given that, if you choose the route of speaking with the pastor, do not be surprised if he wishes you to go through RCIA and be admitted to the Church next Easter. Some will, some won’t.

Agree with this 100%. To the OP - You state you know the Catholic Church to be the true Church, why then would you ever want to be baptized anywhere else? I too am a convert but I was baptized as an infant in a Protestant church. However had I not had a valid baptism I certainly would have waited until I completed RCIA to be baptized.

This is my understanding of your post. I want to be Catholic but rather than follow the customary way of entering the Catholic Church I’m going to make up my own. As Catholics we are called to be obedient to the teachings of the Church, to follow her guidance and the guidance of your priest. The Church has had about 2000 years of working with people who wish to convert, trust her.

In your OP you speak quite a bit about what you want, think or feel, but say very little about what God wants from you. I do not doubt you have done a lot of research about Catholicism or prayed about discerning what is right for you. Most of us converts do a lot of study & prayer prior to taking the step of entering RCIA. Are you going to Mass? Or do you still attend your previous church? How do you think the pastor of that church react if you explained to him you want to baptized there but will be converting to the Catholic Church?

Please understand I’m not trying to be mean to you or offend you in any way. I just want you to think about the effects of your plan.

 

[jamzimm]

Agree with this 100%. To the OP - You state you know the Catholic Church to be the true Church, why then would you ever want to be baptized anywhere else? I too am a convert but I was baptized as an infant in a Protestant church. However had I not had a valid baptism I certainly would have waited until I completed RCIA to be baptized.

This is my understanding of your post. I want to be Catholic but rather than follow the customary way of entering the Catholic Church I’m going to make up my own. As Catholics we are called to be obedient to the teachings of the Church, to follow her guidance and the guidance of your priest. The Church has had about 2000 years of working with people who wish to convert, trust her.

In your OP you speak quite a bit about what you want, think or feel, but say very little about what God wants from you. I do not doubt you have done a lot of research about Catholicism or prayed about discerning what is right for you. Most of us converts do a lot of study & prayer prior to taking the step of entering RCIA. Are you going to Mass? Or do you still attend your previous church? How do you think the pastor of that church react if you explained to him you want to baptized there but will be converting to the Catholic Church?

Please understand I’m not trying to be mean to you or offend you in any way. I just want you to think about the effects of your plan.

Hello, thanks for responding.

I believe that my pursuing a resolve to my situation does not mean that I am doing what I want and not what God wants. On the contrary. He did not say to sit back and do nothing, and if I feel very convicted of something after and during much prayer and discernment, then I of course need to find out why and how to go about things, which is exactly what I am doing. That statement is the only part of your response that I have a problem with. I did not arrive at my current path by not taking action in my convictions and not letting God lead me.

Maybe the Lord wants me to have one on one catechesis with a priest. I am certain He wants me to reveal all this on my heart to the priest, which I plan to do, and I do not see anything wrong with that as my next step, and asking for advice from you guys along the way. It is very difficult for me to explain the pain I’m in not having been baptized and to possibly no longer have the opportunity this summer.

RCIA is a time of discernment. What if, through a particular experience that deeply affects me, I decide that I do not want to go through with the Rites of Initiation, or to wait another year? What if I die with the effects of sin from which I never had the opportunity to receive reconciliation, DESPITE baptism of desire, of which the Catechism does not provide a specific explanation.

Despite all I’m trying to figure out, I KNOW with all my heart that I NEED to be baptized very soon. Next step, talk to a priest. Of these, I’m positive I’m doing the right thing in going about this.

 

[jamzimm]

When I say “I did not arrive at my current path” in the first paragraph of my last response, I mean my current path of pursuing the Catholic Church.

 

[jamzimm]

One more thing

Before you quote the Catechism on Baptism of Desire, what I meant is that it doesn’t provide a specific explanation of how it actually works. It does not say there is a cleansing of ALL sin, which is what occurs through water baptism. It does not explain what actually happens, because there is no way to know.

 

[jamzimm]

My comments are not in any way meant to minimize the importance of baptism.

However, we have some people who appear to be rather set against the RCIA program. And while I am not going to pretend that all parishes have wonderful RCIA programs, they have a purpose.

Nor are they indtended to be a “full meal deal”, it is the start of entry into the Faith, but that journey should continue for a lifetime. In other words, RCIA is meant to be an introduction, and it is entirely possible you may learn from attending.

However, to the point about baptism: If someone who has never been baptized and is attedning RCIA should die before Holy Satruday Night (in other words, dies unbaptized), they will be buried as a member of the Church. They are entitled to a Catholic funeral, just as any baptized Catholic is.

Given that, if you choose the route of speaking with the pastor, do not be surprised if he wishes you to go through RCIA and be admitted to the Church next Easter. Some will, some won’t.

Hello,

I am definitely not set against RCIA, and I don’t believe I stated that. Apologies if that is what you took from my description. I actually plan to begin RCIA this fall. That won’t change based on anything I’ve said.

I will not be surprised if the priest says to wait. He probably will just from the lack of time that is available.

I don’t think it is a sin to pursue baptism though. At this time, I am not Catholic and there is no way for me to be Catholic until next Easter, unless the priest says otherwise. So I am not bound by a Catholic baptism. If I were 100% sure of everything that will take place between now and then, and that I wouldn’t feel this pain I’m feeling, I’d wait. For sure. But what I’m sure of is that I’m going to follow God’s plan to the best of my ability.

 

[Horton]

Hello, thanks for responding.

I believe that my pursuing a resolve to my situation does not mean that I am doing what I want and not what God wants. On the contrary. He did not say to sit back and do nothing, and if I feel very convicted of something after and during much prayer and discernment, then I of course need to find out why and how to go about things, which is exactly what I am doing. That statement is the only part of your response that I have a problem with. I did not arrive at my current path by not taking action in my convictions and not letting God lead me.

Maybe the Lord wants me to have one on one catechesis with a priest. I am certain He wants me to reveal all this on my heart to the priest, which I plan to do, and I do not see anything wrong with that as my next step, and asking for advice from you guys along the way. It is very difficult for me to explain the pain I’m in not having been baptized and to possibly no longer have the opportunity this summer.

RCIA is a time of discernment. What if, through a particular experience that deeply affects me, I decide that I do not want to go through with the Rites of Initiation, or to wait another year? **What if I die with the effects of sin from which I never had the opportunity to receive reconciliation, DESPITE baptism of desire, of which the Catechism does not provide a specific explanation.
**
Despite all I’m trying to figure out, I KNOW with all my heart that I NEED to be baptized very soon. Next step, talk to a priest. Of these, I’m positive I’m doing the right thing in going about this.

But aren’t doing “nothing”, you are working toward being Catholic. There are many Protestant churches out there who will baptize at any time. However, not all may be valid in the eyes of the Church. Do you know for certain the church you wish to be baptized in has a valid baptism. Have you asked a priest or deacon? The one & one catechesis with a priest almost never happens anymore, priests are simply too overworked to meet with one person for the required time to teach enough to go through the rites. That is why most parishes have RCIA. (Before I get jumped on here with that statement, I know in small rural parishes RCIA often looks like one & one with a priest.)

You made a comment about the number of catechumens who are brought into the Church every Easter. Does that bother you? The number of people going through the same rites of initiation as you? You said something about your family may be able to attend the protestant baptism but may not attend the Catholic one?

What are you going to do when the priest tells you to go through RCIA and be baptized at the Easter Vigil?

As far as the baptism of desire, I feel you are making it a little more complicated than it is. It is simply a mechanism for those who wish to be baptized but are taken before that can happen, God will extend all the mercy and forgiveness as he does to those that are validly baptized. I am making a huge assumption here (and am not asking for details) but I suspect your pain may be coming from sin and you feel baptism will relieve your guilt. Baptism certainly remits any sin one may have on their soul prior to their baptism but it is not a magic potion to relieve guilt. I know my mortal sins have been absolved through the sacrament of reconciliation but at times I still feel guilty for what I have done. But that is an interior struggle for me, something I dealt with for many years. I know my sins are forgiven but it doesn’t mean that the sins never happened.

These are all things learned in RCIA, which is a time to prepare you for baptism, first communion, and confirmation. As I said earlier, I was baptized as an infant, three weeks old, and came into the Church in about 50 years later. There were many times leading up to that first confession when I wished I had not been baptized and could avoid 40 years or so of sins. But I never felt as though I would not be able to get the graces that come through being obedient to God’s will prior to making that confession. I believe God’s calling you to His Church means He wants you to participate in ALL the sacraments of initiation. Have trust in God here.

 

[Wesrock]

If you honestly desire to be Catholic at this time, my recommendation is to not get baptized in non-Catholic Church. You are aware of baptism of desire already, and there’s no need to rush ahead of what the Church calls for if you believe the Catholic Church is where you belong.

That’s not to say we should be lackadaisical in our pursuit of the sacraments, but in this case, it’s not a matter of sloth and putting it off, but of conforming to the Church’s initiation process. You could speak to a priest about your history and desire, and mayhaps it can be done sooner, but he also might ask you to complete the parish’s normal program, and that is fine.

There is more than one way to Rome, but part of being Catholic is submitting to the Church teachings and disciplines. This might be a place to start if you feel in your heart that you are truly called to be Catholic.

Edit: But if you do speak with a priest, and he gives counsel on this, take his advice over ours. Your eagerness is a great thing in itself.

 

[otjm]

Hello,

I am definitely not set against RCIA, and I don’t believe I stated that. Apologies if that is what you took from my description. I actually plan to begin RCIA this fall. That won’t change based on anything I’ve said.

My comment was not directed to you, but to those who seem so quick to suggest a run-around-the-end. I think you might find it worthwhile.

I don’t think it is a sin to pursue baptism though. At this time, I am not Catholic and there is no way for me to be Catholic until next Easter, unless the priest says otherwise. So I am not bound by a Catholic baptism. If I were 100% sure of everything that will take place between now and then, and that I wouldn’t feel this pain I’m feeling, I’d wait. For sure. But what I’m sure of is that I’m going to follow God’s plan to the best of my ability.

I understand. However, I don’t know any pastor of any other church who would want to baptize you knowing that you intend to become Catholic. And if you don’t tell them, that is dishonest. Speak with the priest in the parish you will be joining. There may be issues afoot which are not in this thread; keep in mind that in the early Church, initiation into the faith was a three year process before people were baptized.

God bless you on your journey!

 

[jamzimm]

Thank you guys.

This is very difficult for me. Another thing that feel’s like a stab to the chest each time:

Because I am doing so much research that includes listening to Catholic Answers Live all day every day and watching videos and reading articles and books and anything credible that I can get my hands on in addition to speaking with Catholics fervent in their faith, I keep hearing things like “if you aren’t baptized, you aren’t a child of God,” or “Once you have been baptized you have been saved” or “You are a Christian if you have been baptized” and it’s coming at me from everywhere, all the time. It hurts so much, because I have felt that I have been a child of God for as long as I have loved and served Jesus and lived for Him to the best of my ability, knowing all that I believed to be true. That has been my identity for 13 years. I know God is not a God of fear and I am thinking that this is the enemy trying to trick me into feeling this way, because God is not bound by rules and He knows that everyone goes through special situations. It’s just really really hard. And I don’t want to wait any longer because I KNOW I am a child of God and I DESPISE my sin so much.