Advice Please - Wife Going Overboard

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floresco said:
I’m not sure what random strangers personal opinions on these things have to do with the problems the OP was asking about.
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I was responding to another poster. Not to the OP. Not to you. If the moderators feel I was wrong to respond to a post, I’m sure they’ll let this random stranger know.
 
Thank you everyone! So much good insight to think about.

For the record - my wife has purchased things from a place called “Lillies of the field.” It’s not exactly Laura Ingals, but it’s enough to get noticed as weird in town. I keep thinking to myself, “If anything can be considered Catholic birth control, a long, baggy denim dress with loafers is it.”

And honestly I do not blame Susie. Susie’s life is Susie’s life. Her husband is okay with it I guess. I just don’t want that life. My wife has always been somewhat insecure and these are her choices. I think she has always had a problem with wanting to be the “best” or the “most” at things. Like, when she takes up a new hobby, it’s 100%. She was like this with coupons for a while, and then was like this with selling Mary Kay… It’s a thing she does that she does not do anything just a little or part time. It’s feast or famine.

I have no problem meeting with the Latin mass priest. I know he travels to say that Mass and is over 80, but I will try to figure out where he lives and call if it’s okay with my wife.

Tonight we are going to sit down after the kids go to bed and talk. She dis not blow up about the letter which is good news!

For the record - it has never been a custom of the Church to cover up one’s hair full time, right? Isn’t that Jewish or Amish?
 
The hair covering fulltime is mostly Amish but there are some Jewish sects that do so as well.
 
Delta1977 said:
Thank you everyone! So much good insight to think about.

For the record - my wife has purchased things from a place called “Lillies of the field.” It’s not exactly Laura Ingals, but it’s enough to get noticed as weird in town. I keep thinking to myself, “If anything can be considered Catholic birth control, a long, baggy denim dress with loafers is it.”

And honestly I do not blame Susie. Susie’s life is Susie’s life. Her husband is okay with it I guess. I just don’t want that life. My wife has always been somewhat insecure and these are her choices. I think she has always had a problem with wanting to be the “best” or the “most” at things. Like, when she takes up a new hobby, it’s 100%. She was like this with coupons for a while, and then was like this with selling Mary Kay… It’s a thing she does that she does not do anything just a little or part time. It’s feast or famine.

I have no problem meeting with the Latin mass priest. I know he travels to say that Mass and is over 80, but I will try to figure out where he lives and call if it’s okay with my wife.

Tonight we are going to sit down after the kids go to bed and talk. She dis not blow up about the letter which is good news!

For the record - it has never been a custom of the Church to cover up one’s hair full time, right? Isn’t that Jewish or Amish?
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No, it has never been a custom of the Church for women to keep their hair covered full-time. I’ll be very interested to hear what your wife has to say. In some secret part of her heart, I’m sure she’ll be relieved that you have reined her in on these issues.
 
I have a number of dresses from Lilies of the Field, and I recognize a lot of what your wife is doing - I come from a protestant viewpoint on it, though, not a Trad Catholic. I used to headcover fulltime and we home educated for a time too, believing in an extreme form of headship. For us it ended with a mental health diagnosis for me and reality crashing in. I was the driver for much of what we believed, despite believing in headship, it was mostly me pushing for the extreme changes. Since I’ve been medicated things have changed dramatically and we are much happier as a family. I’m not suggesting your wife is mentally poorly, but I know how all-consuming these extreme views can be and I wanted to say I’m praying for you all.
 
Delta1977 said:
For the record - it has never been a custom of the Church to cover up one’s hair full time, right? Isn’t that Jewish or Amish?
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Others will answer officially, but when my Catholic Grandma snuck me into church, she’d cover my head with just about anything she could find. But these were the days when women wore dresses and gloves to church, too. Oooooh, I just dated myself…:eek:
And I am referring only to covering the head for church, not all the time…
 
There is a whole group of women who cover their heads and aren’t part of any defined movement like Mennonites or amish.
 
ShanaA1984 said:
I was going to throw Mennonites in there as well but I have been around some who do not cover full time.
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thank you for that. Never met one who didn’t. I should not have assumed. Oooopsy…Thank you again…
 
I actually find some of those outfits quite nice looking but for me it would be church wear and that’s it (it would be hard to ride a horse or jump in something like that).
 
ShanaA1984 said:
I must say I do like these dresses

liliesapparel.com/2010%20sized3.jpg
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I think they look funereal. 😛 And it’s just weird to have everyone dressed the same, like little clones.

But even if the OP’s wife wished to dress like this, she just has no right to spread it through the family without her husband’s consent. Let alone cut the cable off and consider taking the kids out of their schools.
 
TheRealJuliane said:
I think they look funereal. 😛 And it’s just weird to have everyone dressed the same, like little clones.

But even if the OP’s wife wished to dress like this, she just has no right to spread it through the family without her husband’s consent. Let alone cut the cable off and consider taking the kids out of their schools.
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They should both have a right in regards to parenting their kids. He needs to have her consent as much as she needs his. Regardless, it sounds like the OP and his wife are now moving in a positive direction. It sounds as though she is being receptive to his concerns, and he is being receptive to her thoughts and views as well.
 
TheRealJuliane said:
I think they look funereal. 😛 And it’s just weird to have everyone dressed the same, like little clones.

But even if the OP’s wife wished to dress like this, she just has no right to spread it through the family without her husband’s consent. Let alone cut the cable off and consider taking the kids out of their schools.
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Yes they are a bit somber but then again I tend to lean towards dark colors and black as a personal preference. And this would be strictly for me I would never make my daughter dress like that if she chose not too.

I agree with the last part.
 
Evania said:
They should both have a right in regards to parenting their kids. He needs to have her consent as much as she needs his. Regardless, it sounds like the OP and his wife are now moving in a positive direction. It sounds as though she is being receptive to his concerns, and he is being receptive to her thoughts and views as well.
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Correct, but he was not the one making extreme changes in their family’s lifestyle without her consent.
 
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