Advice Please - Wife Going Overboard

[fpt]

**Sorry, in catholicism, i have right to judge an act, a thought, a mentality, a philosophy, a theology, a law, a belief, a desire, a wish, a behavior, the fundamental principles of a thought…etc. The catholicism bans many stuff, per se or in function of situation. **

The rules of catholic marriage are the rules of state of wife and of mother: rights, obligations, duties, the priority of rights, of obligations and of duties.

When i say, she is wrong, I wanted to say that probably h**er fundamental principles justifying her strong changes were full of wrong acceptions of the teaching of the catholic church: heresies, ideologies, false catholic beliefs, the lack of moderation… **She is changing because *she is in link with her new friend who is against the Ordinary form, or is not in its favor of this form, or hates the world, or sees the sin everywhere or wants to be more catholic than the pope…etc.
*
**The conjugal house is not a seminary; the life of family is not the life of a seminary; the conjugal house is not a monastery, the life of family is not the life of a monastery. The husband is not a monk, the wife is not a nun. **

The state of marriage is the state of marriage. She has no right to impose unilaterally to her husband and to her kids more than catholics standards. She has no right to fall into the moralism for forcing or convicting her husband of following **her strict standards. **

 

[Evania]

As much as i understand where your coming from saying that the husband/OP is not your standard bias other side of the argument.

As for how mean some of these posts get as the child now adult of this kind of story I promise you most of the comments are quite justified. This kind of thing rarely brings joy.

I totally am sympathetic toward the family as I mentioned in numerous posts. However, I still don’t find any of the mean spirited comments justified.
At the end of the day, we are hearing only one side of the story. I want to give this woman the benefit of the doubt. This woman isn’t even here to defend herself, give her side, etc…
and is probably unaware that it’s open season on everything from her clothes, to the state of her mental health, to whether she’s even a good mother of not. The best way to support the OP’s marriage isn’t to speculate on how unnatural his wife is, how unnatractive his wife must look, how the rest of us women dress better, how she needs to get her brain checked. One poster even speculated on their sex life. The best advice would be to suggest that him and his wife speak to a trusted priest so they can build up their marriage and work successfully on their family life in a way they both feel comfortable with.

Happily, it seems as if the wife is willing to listen, as the OP posted yesterday,

 

[Kithrus]

I totally am sympathetic toward the family as I mentioned in numerous posts. However, I still don’t find any of the mean spirited comments justified.
At the end of the day, we are hearing only one side of the story. I want to give this woman the benefit of the doubt. This woman isn’t even here to defend herself, give her side, etc…
and is probably unaware that it’s open season on everything from her clothes, to the state of her mental health, to whether she’s even a good mother of not. The best way to support the OP’s marriage isn’t to speculate on how unnatural his wife is, how unnatractive his wife must look, how the rest of us women dress better, how she needs to get her brain checked. One poster even speculated on their sex life. The best advice would be to suggest that him and his wife speak to a trusted priest so they can build up their marriage and work successfully on their family life in a way they both feel comfortable with.

Happily, it seems as if the wife is willing to listen, as the OP posted yesterday,

Maybe but in all fairness it isn’t unfair speculation. This kind of religions overboard stems from misguided fear and an over kill of a desire to sanctify one self so they have nothing to be afraid for.

Whats really funny is most saints didn’t think they were worthy of heaven at all.

I’ll give it to you that some of the comments are not justified but I doubt the OP is being unfairly bias. He put forwards a very constructive and understanding point and is less interested in proving her wrong and more in resolving the issue.

Besides I’m sure he will update if she says something to explain everything he told us already.

 

[Evania]

**Sorry, in catholicism, i have right to judge an act, a thought, a mentality, a philosophy, a theology, a law, a belief, a desire, a wish, a behavior, the fundamental principles of a thought…etc. The catholicism bans many stuff, per se or in function of situation. **

The rules of catholic marriage are the rules of state of wife and of mother: rights, obligations, duties, the priority of rights, of obligations and of duties.

When i say, she is wrong, I wanted to say that probably h**er fundamental principles justifying her strong changes were full of wrong acceptions of the teaching of the catholic church: heresies, ideologies, false catholic beliefs, the lack of moderation… **She is changing because *she is in link with her new friend who is against the Ordinary form, or is not in its favor of this form, or hates the world, or sees the sin everywhere or wants to be more catholic than the pope…etc.
*
**The conjugal house is not a seminary; the life of family is not the life of a seminary; the conjugal house is not a monastery, the life of family is not the life of a monastery. The husband is not a monk, the wife is not a nun. **

The state of marriage is the state of marriage. She has no right to impose unilaterally to her husband and to her kids more than catholics standards. She has no right to fall into the moralism for forcing or convicting her husband of following **her strict standards. **

Have you met or even talked with this woman that you are accusing of all this sinning? You have seriously presented list after list of topics that the husband hasn’t even addressed, and how she is wrong if she happens to believe in these topics.
If you are going to judge someone so severely, you should have at least have their side of the story, correct? Even Jesus showed more mercy to the adulterous woman, and He actually saw the sin. You haven’t even met the OP’s wife and have your mind made up solely on what another person says. Thank God our court system isn’t like that. Thank goodness God isn’t like that either.

 

[Evania]

Maybe but in all fairness it isn’t unfair speculation. This kind of religions overboard stems from misguided fear and an over kill of a desire to sanctify one self so they have nothing to be afraid for.

Whats really funny is most saints didn’t think they were worthy of heaven at all.

I’ll give it to you that some of the comments are not justified but I doubt the OP is being unfairly bias. He put forwards a very constructive and understanding point and is less interested in proving her wrong and more in resolving the issue.

Besides I’m sure he will update if she says something to explain everything he told us already.

I agree with you. I wholeheartedly believe the OP is very sincere. However, I’m sure his wife has her side of the story too. I’m unwilling to put her on blast before we get it. The OP said she was open to discussing the issue with him and hearing him out. That doesn’t sound like someone who is unbending and inflexible as some posters have speculated.

 

[Kithrus]

I agree with you. I wholeheartedly believe the OP is very sincere. However, I’m sure his wife has her side of the story too. I’m unwilling to put her on blast before we get it. The OP said she was open to discussing the issue with him and hearing him out. That doesn’t sound like someone who is unbending and inflexible as some posters have speculated.

I’m willing to believe that we do not need to hear ‘her side of the story’ because there is no justification for such action.

Not to compare it to murder but you kill someone with witnesses it stops become a question of did you do it to was it an accident or not.

 

[Evania]

I’m willing to believe that we do not need to hear ‘her side of the story’ because there is no justification for such action.

Not to compare it to murder but you kill someone with witnesses it stops become a question of did you do it to was it an accident or not.

You’re right in that there is no comparison between her actions and murder so I don’t know how that example fits in with you feeling why we should judge this woman without her defending herself.

 

[Kithrus]

You’re right in that there is no comparison between her actions and murder so I don’t know how that example fits in with you feeling why we should judge this woman without her defending herself.

Because nothing can justify it.

 

[Evania]

Because nothing can justify it.

The only thing that cannot be justified is something done out of evil.

A better statement would be;
What are the intentions of her doing a certain action? Are you saying it cannot be justified because it’s a sin? According to the Church, you have to recognize that you did something wrong for it to be considered a sin.

Unfortunately, we don’t know. The husband doesn’t know. It’s all speculative until we hear from her.

 

[Kithrus]

The only thing that cannot be justified is something done out of evil.

A better statement would be;
What are the intentions of her doing a certain action? Are you saying it cannot be justified because it’s a sin? According to the Church, you have to recognize that you did something wrong for it to be considered a sin.

Unfortunately, we don’t know. The husband doesn’t know. It’s all speculative until we hear from her.

Regardless of her intentions its still wrong and should stop

 

[Evania]

Or the OP and his wife can do what they are doing and hear eachother out and come to a mutual agreement.

 

[Kithrus]

Or the OP and his wife can do what they are doing and hear eachother out and come to a mutual agreement.

I’m starting to get the impression if both of them agreed to do what the OPs wife wants then all is well.

No, your wrong. This needs to be stopped completely. The only point I remotely agree on is the scapulars and even then her methods is off.

Trash it all, throw out the frumpy clothes, ditch the homeschooling idea and learn to have fun again.

 

[Evania]

I’m starting to get the impression if both of them agreed to do what the OPs wife wants then all is well.

No, your wrong. This needs to be stopped completely. The only point I remotely agree on is the scapulars and even then her methods is off.

Trash it all, throw out the frumpy clothes, ditch the homeschooling idea and learn to have fun again.

How can you get that impression about them if you don’t know them? The OP knows his wife better than you, and he sounded hopeful!

It’s not up to what you agree with. It’s what they decide to do as a family.

There is nothing bad about wearing frumpy clothes and homeschooling in and of themselves. I didn’t know that frumpy clothes and homeschooling equaled not having fun. I agree that they need to both be on board with homeschooling.

 

[Forkfoot]

Go online, learn some new tricks in the sack, and blow her friggin’ mind. Seriously. Sounds like she’s wrapped up in a conceptual tar pit; you can’t conceptualize your way out of an earth-shattering lovemaking session. That’s a good gateway back to the fun life, right there.

 

[Kithrus]

How can you get that impression about them if you don’t know them? The OP knows his wife better than you, and he sounded hopeful!

It’s not up to what you agree with. It’s what they decide to do as a family.

There is nothing bad about wearing frumpy clothes and homeschooling in and of themselves. I didn’t know that frumpy clothes and homeschooling equaled not having fun. I agree that they need to both be on board with homeschooling.

The impression was of you and you just confirmed it

 

[Forkfoot]

Another good resource: women’s erotica. Don’t laugh, I’m serious; it’s a great way to learn what turns a woman on. Right now you’re her seed-bearing, bread-winning husband; you wanna become her MAN, know what I’m sayin’? Usually it takes something huge to snap people out of these conceptual identity worlds they build up around them, like a near-death experience or a loss of a loved one or a terminal diagnosis, but la petit mort can do that job too, hear me? Something big to create a gap through all those concepts wide enough for **life **to get a word in edgewise.

 

[Evania]

The impression was of you and you just confirmed it

Sorry, I don’t play riddles while talking to others.

If you are referring to my saying that the husband knows his wife better than you do comment…It’s true that he does.

However, that doesn’t mean that he sees things from her point of view. In fact, he admitted as much. Very seldom do spouses see eye to eye on absolutely everything. That’s why there are two stories to every issue, and somewhere in the middle is the truth. I don’t see how I “confirmed” anything new. In fact, I’m not out to confirm anything. I don’t know this woman, and so I’m not going to slam her. It really is that simple. I just hope that the OP and his wife reach a compromise and are happy with it. Beyond that, what they do is nobodies business.

 

[Kithrus]

Sorry, I don’t play riddles while talking to others.

If you are referring to my saying that the husband knows his wife better than you do comment…It’s true that he does.

However, that doesn’t mean that he sees things from her point of view. In fact, he admitted as much. Very seldom do spouses see eye to eye on absolutely everything. That’s why there are two stories to every issue, and somewhere in the middle is the truth. I don’t see how I “confirmed” anything new. In fact, I’m not out to confirm anything. I don’t know this woman, and so I’m not going to slam her. It really is that simple. I just hope that the OP and his wife reach a compromise and are happy with it. Beyond that, what they do is nobodies business.

There is no riddle here. If they both agreed to do what the OPs wife wants you think that’s okay.

That’s the impression you gave me.

And your wrong.

 

[Jade_Tiger]

Yay! A fight!

I doubt the OP appreciates it.

 

[Evania]

There is no riddle here. If they both agreed to do what the OPs wife wants you think that’s okay.

That’s the impression you gave me.

And your wrong.

You think I’m wrong and I think you’re wrong.
Who cares?

I’m for whatever they decide.

Good night!