M
Mirror_Mirror
Guest
Serap,
Reading your story reminds me of the movie Fireproof. Especially this song Love Is Not a Fight. My wife and I love this movie (not the acting) and think that it shares a very important message.
Forgive me for telling you about the movie if you have not seen it. I will not give it away (although the video may, I have not watched it all the way through) and if you do not want to know anything about it, feel free to skip to the next paragraph. In the movie, Caleb (Kirk Cameron) realizes that his marriage is headed for a divorce and he wants to try and save it, but he has to realize where the changes have to be made in order to make his marriage work. It is likened to what you are going through in a way.
In marriage, are we called to be giving to each other at a 50-50 rate? No! What happens when one party is giving only 49% or one is giving 51%? There could be resentment building there, problems will arise. So you may wonder, if not 50-50, then what 100-100? Again, no! What happens when one is not giving 100%? In marriage we are called to have a ratio of 100-0! Give all and expect nothing. It is likened back to the “elbow verse” in Ephesians 5. Wives are to be submissive to their husbands…always. Now when he is doing his part of that verse (loving his wife as Christ loved the Church) it is easier to be submissive. When he is not doing that it is harder, yet we are still called to 100-0. Husbands are the same, we are still called as men to die for the love of our spouse (not a literal death, per se), but to die to our selfish needs and desires to please our wives. It is true that when we are being this way to our wives, she is more willing to be submissive to us, but we should not expect that…100-0.
Reading what you posted earlier is promising and I believe that you are on the right track and your husband realizes it. Still need to be mindful of any type of abusive behavior. Also, ABC will continue to drive a wedge that you are trying to keep out of your marriage. The devil HATES marriage and he will find any little crack to sneak in and try to destroy a marriage. Once he gets that crack he grabs his crowbar and tries to make that crack into a gaping hole to destroy you and your spouse. A life long commitment to 100-0 is what is needed everyday.
A daily prayer for marriage:
*Heavenly Father,
through the intercession of the Holy Family,
Help us treasure the gift of marriage that
reflects the love of Christ for the Church,
where the self-giving love
of husband and wife
unites them more perfectly and
cooperates in your plan for
new life created in your image.
Help us support men and women
in their vocation of marriage,
especially in difficult times when
they join their sufferings to the Cross.
Help us uphold the instution of marriage
in our society as the place where
love is nurtured and family life begins.
Help us acknowledge that our future
depends on this love and on your
providential care for us. Amen *
Reading your story reminds me of the movie Fireproof. Especially this song Love Is Not a Fight. My wife and I love this movie (not the acting) and think that it shares a very important message.
Forgive me for telling you about the movie if you have not seen it. I will not give it away (although the video may, I have not watched it all the way through) and if you do not want to know anything about it, feel free to skip to the next paragraph. In the movie, Caleb (Kirk Cameron) realizes that his marriage is headed for a divorce and he wants to try and save it, but he has to realize where the changes have to be made in order to make his marriage work. It is likened to what you are going through in a way.
In marriage, are we called to be giving to each other at a 50-50 rate? No! What happens when one party is giving only 49% or one is giving 51%? There could be resentment building there, problems will arise. So you may wonder, if not 50-50, then what 100-100? Again, no! What happens when one is not giving 100%? In marriage we are called to have a ratio of 100-0! Give all and expect nothing. It is likened back to the “elbow verse” in Ephesians 5. Wives are to be submissive to their husbands…always. Now when he is doing his part of that verse (loving his wife as Christ loved the Church) it is easier to be submissive. When he is not doing that it is harder, yet we are still called to 100-0. Husbands are the same, we are still called as men to die for the love of our spouse (not a literal death, per se), but to die to our selfish needs and desires to please our wives. It is true that when we are being this way to our wives, she is more willing to be submissive to us, but we should not expect that…100-0.
Reading what you posted earlier is promising and I believe that you are on the right track and your husband realizes it. Still need to be mindful of any type of abusive behavior. Also, ABC will continue to drive a wedge that you are trying to keep out of your marriage. The devil HATES marriage and he will find any little crack to sneak in and try to destroy a marriage. Once he gets that crack he grabs his crowbar and tries to make that crack into a gaping hole to destroy you and your spouse. A life long commitment to 100-0 is what is needed everyday.
A daily prayer for marriage:
*Heavenly Father,
through the intercession of the Holy Family,
Help us treasure the gift of marriage that
reflects the love of Christ for the Church,
where the self-giving love
of husband and wife
unites them more perfectly and
cooperates in your plan for
new life created in your image.
Help us support men and women
in their vocation of marriage,
especially in difficult times when
they join their sufferings to the Cross.
Help us uphold the instution of marriage
in our society as the place where
love is nurtured and family life begins.
Help us acknowledge that our future
depends on this love and on your
providential care for us. Amen *
I have not shared this with any close friends.