Afraid to tell my friends I'm going back to Church

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bclustr9

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So I’m afraid to tell my friends I’m going back to Church, one of which is my roommate who thinks that the only reason I’m drawn to my faith is because I have a low self-esteem. I guess he thinks all Christians have low self-esteem? Dunno what that’s about or how to even respond to such an insulting and presumptuous opinion but it’s just a taste of the disapproval that some of my friends would exhibit if I told them I started attending Church again. They say that they want me to be happy but the thing is, when I had a close relationship with God, putting His will above my own, I was, even though it wasn’t always easy. Apparently some of my friends think happiness is everything anyway and why deny myself. They think they know me better than myself and I don’t feel understood and supported in my decision. I feel like they don’t care why I am drawn to my faith. They just want to talk over me and play armchair psychologist. What do I do??
 
Why does their approval mean so much to you? From what you have written they don’t sound like good friends, do you have friends at your parish that can support you?
 
Why do you feel the need to tell them you’re going back to Church? If they’re going to put you down for it, don’t say anything to them. Just go and let your life be the example they see.
 
If your friends have a problem with your personal activities, they are not “friends”. They are acquaintances. Don’t be afraid of what your so-called “friends” think. They cannot dictate your life to you. And you don’t need to tell them anything about how you spend your Sundays.
 
They are your friends. Don’t turn your back on them. Just explain what you are doing if you want to. They are probably worried about you and feel you are searching for what you need in the wrong places. I’m not a believer but I think people should be free to make their own choices whether to join or leave a religion. If they raise the subject I’d also expect them to be willing to discuss it, politely and within reason.
 
It really is none of their business. I wouldn’t try to hide what you’re doing, and if your friends express disapprove, perhaps just tell them that what you do is your own business and if they don’t like what you do then that’s up to them, but it won’t change what you want to do.

I would also not necessarily turn my back on them for this, but you do not need your friends’ approval for such things.
 
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These people aren’t really your “friends” if they don’t respect your life choices and instead want to “play armchair psychologist” with you. A friend would not act the way they are acting, especially given that you are ascribing to a mainstream religion, not some kind of potentially dangerous cult that would require you to sign over all your worldly goods to a guru and go live in total obedience to said guru on a remote farm.

The reality is that they find you going back to church to be threatening because it calls into question their own choices to not bother with religion and to live a life that the church would consider sinful. They would love to find some way to dismiss your behavior as crazy so they can stop feeling uncomfortable with their own actions.

As Brendan said, your religious practice is none of your “friends’” business. Simply tell your “friends” they can either respect your choice and quit playing amateur Dr. Phil with you, or they can go on their merry way while you go with God.

And try to make some new friends who aren’t going to hassle you about your religious practice.
 
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My former group of friends who I realise were just long time acquaintances openly mocked religion and blasphemed in from of me . Ignore these people’s opinion they are on the wrong path and just go to church. You will meet like minded folk there
 
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bclustr9 said:
What do I do??
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This is a tough question to answer as none of us are in your position - all positions are somewhat unique, after all. Some will say hide from them that you’re going to church. I say, be proud of this. Be proud in your faith life. If they do not understand, that is their problem.

Some might say they are not true friends. I would be inclined to agree with that sentiment. True friends should accept you as you are. If they do not, they are more “fair-weather friends”. That is my opinion, at least. Friends support your decisions or help you see when a decision is poor. Returning to church is definitely not a poor decision.

Point in case: I have a friend - she’s much older than I, who I told I was converting to Catholicism. Now, she was a Catholic as a youth and has unfortunately fallen asleep. She doesn’t believe in organized religion for some reason. When I told her I was converting to Catholicism (I was a long-time agnostic), she was nothing but happy for me even if she still disagrees with the Catholic church. That’s a friend.

Be proud of your religion and relationship with God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. It’s not that relationship you should be ashamed of - it’s your friends whom you should be ashamed of it seems…

Thanks for reading!
 
bclustr9 said:
the only reason I’m drawn to my faith is because I have a low self-esteem.
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You might want to ask your friend how he defines low self esteem? I’m not sure if he realizes it or not but people with low self esteem tend to be hypersensitive, they tend to be weary of rejection and feeling unlovable.

Seems to me that he might be the cause of your low self esteem and not Christianity?
bclustr9 said:
Dunno what that’s about or how to even respond to such an insulting and presumptuous opinion but it’s just a taste of the disapproval that some of my friends would exhibit if I told them I started attending Church again
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I am no expert because quite honestly I don’t have many friends. Have plenty of acquaintances but honestly only have one friend, whom I don’t even consider a friend, because I refer to him as my brother and my kids even call him Uncle Mark. But in all honesty not sure how the words insulting and presumptuous can be in the same sentence as the term friend?
bclustr9 said:
They say that they want me to be happy but the thing is, when I had a close relationship with God, putting His will above my own, I was, even though it wasn’t always easy.
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Sounds to me like you know where true happiness is.
bclustr9 said:
Apparently some of my friends think happiness is everything anyway and why deny myself.
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No offense to your friends but drug addicts have the same mind set. I think it is pretty evident from our society that people who have everything and tend to live for their own happiness are rarely ever happy. They are always looking for that next great “high”.
bclustr9 said:
They think they know me better than myself and I don’t feel understood and supported in my decision.
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Have you said this to them? If they were truly your friends they should be willing to hear your thoughts on this. They don’t need to support your decision but they shouldn’t outright go against it either. It seems to me that they aren’t looking out for your well being the only thing they care about is what are they going to have to give up by your decision.
bclustr9 said:
They just want to talk over me and play armchair psychologist. What do I do??
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I would give them an ultimatum. Let them know that they don’t have to accept your decision but at the same time you will not accept their criticism. If they have questions about something they don’t understand tell them they can ask and you will either answer them or come here for an answer and get back to them. Let them know that you are not going to push the Church on them and at the same time they should not push their lack of Church on you.

I think you either need make some ground rules with your friends or find new friends.

God Bless
 
*puts on mommy voice

Your REAL friends will still like you whether you’re a Catholic or not.
 
Friends respect each other. It does not sound as if these folks are friends, but, roommate and some acquaintances.
 
bclustr9 said:
So I’m afraid to tell my friends I’m going back to Church, one of which is my roommate who thinks that the only reason I’m drawn to my faith is because I have a low self-esteem. I guess he thinks all Christians have low self-esteem? Dunno what that’s about or how to even respond to such an insulting and presumptuous opinion but it’s just a taste of the disapproval that some of my friends would exhibit if I told them I started attending Church again. They say that they want me to be happy but the thing is, when I had a close relationship with God, putting His will above my own, I was, even though it wasn’t always easy. Apparently some of my friends think happiness is everything anyway and why deny myself. They think they know me better than myself and I don’t feel understood and supported in my decision. I feel like they don’t care why I am drawn to my faith. They just want to talk over me and play armchair psychologist. What do I do??
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l live most of my life in hedonism, going along with others who loved to party, who I thought were friends.
Not one of those people is still a friend. Not one.
Since I have committed to Christ I have become a close friend to several people, and the joy those friendships bring far surpasses anything prior.

I believe this is true:
When your life is done, if you have 2 or 3 people who are true friends, you are fortunate. Not acquaintances. True friends. Like friends who would push your wheelchair or come take out your garbage. Real friends.
They are few and far between, and you only find them by being your true self. By being honest with them, and by being the friend yourself.
Be who God is calling you to be, and don’t be afraid.
 
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So many people try to lead others down the wrong path, in the name of friendship. Avoid this like the plague! As others have said, a true friendship would respect your beliefs, be there when you need them, be trustworthy, and not push you to do something that is wrong. There are few truly good friends in life. Most of them will have the same core beliefs as you.
 
tell them you have found perfect happiness with God and that nothing on earth can even come close to the joy you have when you have a relationship with God.

What do they think you will miss out on?
 
I second what some said here, if they have anything against you going to the Church they’re not really your friends.
And if they keep pestering you because of this go out and find some real friends, the World’s population is quite big and I know you will find some better choices out there.
 
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