Age difference?

[lenni]

I don’t know, but is it me or do Catholic women tend to like older guys?

haha…
well it depends…
for me, im like chevalier… i miss the mark. I either have gone for guys who are a year to 2 years younger than me. or somewhat, 5 years older than myself.
but honestly, i would only date within a 5yr age range - up or down. ooo…shudders ok now, I cant imagine dating a 13yo kid when im only 18.

 

[Beaudtte]

My husband and i just found out that his father who is 60 married a 22yr old in the Catholic Church. That is 38years age difference. He married a girl who is the same age as his youngest son. It was a big secret no one in the family knew that they were getting married.He never personally told us he finally told my mother in law one month after they got married and then she told all the children. It makes me upset that he didn t take responsibility for it and tell us himself. We are all having a hard time with this and not sure how to deal with this.The day after we found out , we went to my nieces baptism and they were there it was so awkward seeing her there . I am curious to know what you all think about this.

 

[whatevergirl]

First of all, I’d like to say that if it’s God’s will, it’s all good; and I do not intend to offend anyone with this thread - if I did, I apologize in advance. I was kinda wondering about the age difference between couples. I’ve seen age differences of 10+ years, and it does make me wonder sometimes. What would cause a young woman in her early twenties want to date someone in their 30’s or above? Personally, I’ve set my limit at 5 years my junior. Also, I don’t think I’ve dated anyone who’s older than me, with one very small exception (she was older than me by a couple of days). What’s your view on all of this? I know there’re examples in the Bible where the age differences are huge, but it still irks me for some reason. Am I wrong in feeling this way? In my opinion, it just feels a little weird for a woman to be dating someone who’s old enough to be her father, or vice versa. Anyway, your (name removed by moderator)ut would be appreciated. Thank you in advance.

I always dated older men back in college, typically…my dh is roughly 10 yrs older than me, and was 31 when we met. I think if the range is 20 yrs older or more, I kind of wonder myself, what the connection is there…But, 10 to 15 yrs age difference…it’s a good thing to me.

 

[whatevergirl]

My husband and i just found out that his father who is 60 married a 22yr old in the Catholic Church. That is 38years age difference. He married a girl who is the same age as his youngest son. It was a big secret no one in the family knew that they were getting married.He never personally told us he finally told my mother in law one month after they got married and then she told all the children. It makes me upset that he didn t take responsibility for it and tell us himself. We are all having a hard time with this and not sure how to deal with this.The day after we found out , we went to my nieces baptism and they were there it was so awkward seeing her there . I am curious to know what you all think about this.

I sometimes wonder if when men hit a certain age, if they just feel younger, if they are dating someone that much younger. Nothing is going to take you back to being in your 20’s. I also have read (there are books on the subject actually) that it’s instinctive for men to seek younger women who are of child bearing age. Back in ancient times, men were often older than women, so that they could continue having children, even into their older years–to carry on their family name. I thought it was an interesting study.

 

[Appleby]

What attracts two people to each other is-- or should be-- a shared vision, values, goals, and interests.

Age is just a number.

I was interviewing a 17 year old race driver once who was in the throes of a tantrum because nobody would take him seriously (he having given nobody any reason to up til that point) and he kept saying “Age is just a number!” I was very hard put to keep my professional demeanor – I had a kid his age at the time – but I sooooo wanted to ask him for a date! I was 39 years older than he was at the time and I bet it would have stopped the tantrum cold.

I was engaged once to a man 16 years my junior. We were very happy but his father torpedoed the engagement with a good many falsehoods that, interestingly enough, boomeranged and hit Dear old Dad … he is now suffering his third bout with a third kind of cancer and has just months to live, and meanwhile I – who was supposed to be a bedridden, senile hag by now and a burden to my husband that never was – am in fine health and like to outlive him by 20 years, and HE is a bedridden, senile hag.

 

[BamaRider]

who was supposed to be a bedridden, senile hag by now and a burden to my husband that never was – am in fine health and like to outlive him by 20 years, and HE is a bedridden, senile hag.

Dang Apple, don’t ya reckon that’s being a little harsh on the guy? I know he ain’t your favorite guy, but its sounds as if you’re taking pleasure at him being bedridden?

If possible, (live in same town) why don’t ya this Christmas go to him and forgive whatever it is he did to break y’all up and tell him everything worked out for the best. But that’s just me tawkin, and I mighta totally misread the post, because this is the internet yanno.

 

[Guitar]

I started dating him when I was 19 and he was 38. We have experienced a lot of unpleasant comments because of our very obvious age difference, but we’ve learned to ignore them.

Turn the 19 into 18, and that’s us 22 years ago.

OP wonders why a girl would want to date an older man. Me, I never understood what on earth would make a girl want to date someone her own age. I didn’t set out looking for an older man but I certainly never met anyone my age that I had the slightest dating interest in.

Friends of mine have a far greater age gap than ours, like 30+ years. They are both very unusual people but perfect for each other. She never expected to find someone she’d want to marry, so from where she sits, it’s not a case of “I won’t marry because I’ll be a widow for ages” but “we can have twenty terrific years together where I never thought I’d find a partner at all.”

 

[Beaudtte]

The Age gap is not as much a concern when it is your first marriage for both of them. In my father in laws case it is his second marriage and her first.My father in law has five kids and his youngest is the same age as his wife.My father in law also has nine grandchildren from age twelve to two months.When they do have children of there own it means my children will have step aunts and uncles allot younger then them.i have a hard time trying to explain to my two older children age seven and five.When my daughter saw her for the first time she thought it was my father in laws daughter and to explain to her that that is his wife.

 

[BamaRider]

The Age gap is not as much a concern when it is your first marriage for both of them. In my father in laws case it is his second marriage and her first.My father in law has five kids and his youngest is the same age as his wife.My father in law also has nine grandchildren from age twelve to two months.When they do have children of there own it means my children will have step aunts and uncles allot younger then them.i have a hard time trying to explain to my two older children age seven and five.When my daughter saw her for the first time she thought it was my father in laws daughter and to explain to her that that is his wife.

So what did she say about all that?

 

[Beaudtte]

So what did she say about all that?

Well she asked me why he had to marry again when he had grandma, and i explained to her that it didn t work for them .i don t think she understands it all but she is only seven years old .

 

[survive]

I sometimes wonder if when men hit a certain age, if they just feel younger, if they are dating someone that much younger. Nothing is going to take you back to being in your 20’s. I also have read (there are books on the subject actually) that it’s instinctive for men to seek younger women who are of child bearing age. Back in ancient times, men were often older than women, so that they could continue having children, even into their older years–to carry on their family name. I thought it was an interesting study.

Yeah, psychobiology is a big field now. I think it has its limits and gets pretty funny when it exceeds them (e.g. The First Sex, author forgotten, which psychobiologizes everything anyone ever does and paints a bizarre prehistoric scene).
There are many different marital ways in different “primitive” and “prehistoric” societies. Some have male polygamy, so a rich man becomes the father of hundreds and a poor man has no chance of fatherhood at all; they see this as a favor to the next generation, making the children all the responsibility of those who can afford them. Some have female polygamy, generally a woman married to a set of brothers; they see this as the best way to prevent rivalries over property among brothers and to ensure there are no fatherless children as each child has several backup fathers. It’s always about the children.
Some advise women to marry “late” by primitive standards, 21 or 22, even 23. This helps reduce death in childbirth. Some advise parents to give their daughters in betrothal at birth and send them to their new families at ten or 11, occasionally younger. This is to avoid the girls’ marrying tribal enemies, and to enable the parents to recoup on the cost of raising the girls – a bride brings a high price.
But when people are free to do anything available without modern technology, healthy, not forced to marry nor isolated from mates, able to afford what they want, with ways to survive alone, no birth control, no transportation to escape responsibilities, most people everywhere do the same things. Women get married when they’re in their mid-teens to very early 20’s, to men between their own ages and three or four years older. They have kids about three to four years apart, and have about five to eight pregnancies total. This is, as it happens, pretty nearly what is healthiest for mothers and children.

 

[Salonika]

I don’t think there are any absolutes about age differences between married couples. Think its up to the people concerned but also think that when there is a difference of more than seven or so years both partners need to carefully assess the situation.

I went out with an older guy (I was in my 20’s and he in his early 50’s) and while the age difference wasn’t a reason it didn’t continue, I can remember later seeing a couple with what seemed the same age difference (probably she in her 50’s he in her 70’s.) It made me think.

My mother was engaged to a man 20 years older and what finally led to her breaking it off was realising that she would come second to his children (that’s a comment about the guy involved not a general one about people who remarry). There were other reasons too that had nothing to do with the age difference.

Funnily Mum then met Dad and married him. After years of family saying Mum was engaged to a man so much older, the story then went round that she was marrying someone so much younger than her - a whole 6 weeks.

 

[Friend_forever]

It is a matter of compatibility. My first husband was 11 years older than me and we broke up. Sadly, he died a couple of years later. I remarried. I am 9 years and 9 months older than my husband. I need to admit that he had to “chase” me hardly because it took me some time to overcome the fact that he was so much younger than me. My family had an even harder time. He was 21 and I was 30 when we started dating. We have been married for 10 years by now and have two kids 6 and 3. My husband is only 8 years older than my oldest son and they get along greatly too. I am so glad I was not held back by his age especially because relationships where the women is older that the man are far less common.

 

[Guitar]

The Age gap is not as much a concern when it is your first marriage for both of them. In my father in laws case it is his second marriage and her first.My father in law has five kids and his youngest is the same age as his wife.My father in law also has nine grandchildren from age twelve to two months.When they do have children of there own it means my children will have step aunts and uncles allot younger then them.i have a hard time trying to explain to my two older children age seven and five.When my daughter saw her for the first time she thought it was my father in laws daughter and to explain to her that that is his wife.

Same for my friends with the 30+ age gap - he has grown daughters, one of whom has her own children.

I think their attitude to anyone that has a problem with their marriage is kind of … “Your problem is what exactly?” They are certainly not obnoxious or rude about it but they simply don’t consider it anyone else’s business. Yes, grandpa’s wife in most cases is older than your mother, in this case she’s not. So?

If they’re free to marry, it’s not a moral issue.

 

[Galnextdoor]

I find maturity an attractive characteristic in men. I dated men anywhere from 4 to 12 years older than I was when I was in my early 20’s.
The guys I met who were my age were more interested in having a good time, than having any sort of meaningful discussion. Most were still being supported by their parents. They went bar hopping at night and horse played with their buddies. Generally, I found them obnoxious.

When I was young, I thought of men like wine. A little age was great! Too much age and they were vinegary. (Somewhat sour?)

I still enjoy conversations with older men. I think 50 is a great age for men.

I really think it has to do with the personalities involved when it comes to a younger woman older man. I don’t understand the much older woman younger man thing. I think its creepy.

 

[Aimi]

I don’t understand the much older woman younger man thing. I think its creepy.

Ok well I am a 48 year old woman who is married to a 33 year old man. Do I think its creepy no.
We have the same interests same Spirituality. He is very old fashioned more so than I am he is a husband that is a believer in the word of God. He is the head of the house he is a kind loving man. He indeed loves me as Christ loves the church.

We were both married before I was married to a man just a few months older than my self and I was abused and he drank did drugs and ran around with other women.

His wife he found out had a history of Mental illness and she asked for a divorce when she fell in love with a “movie star” on a internet forum. Who he sent messages to her thru the T.V…She kidnapped his 2 children stole his car put him 38,000 in debt and ran with the boys from Dec till Aug when we got them back.

Now we have a loving home we have 2 beautiful boys 8 and 10 , We dont go out to bars we stay at home with our kids and enjoy it. My older children love their new brothers. (all are grown )

I dont think its creepy at all

 

[BamaRider]

still enjoy conversations with older men. I think 50 is a great age for men.

:thankyou:

 

[Ruthie]

Aimi beat me to it.

I’m 9 years younger than - my MIL! 16 years older than my hubby. I met him when I was in my forties.

Yes, it’s unusual. Creepy? I don’t think so - though it took me a long time to realize he “liked” me.

Hey, I still don’t know why he loves me - and he doesn’t know why I love him, either, so that’s OK.

We’ve been happily married for 12 years.

It’s all God’s fault.

Ruthie

 

[Aimi]

Amen Ruthie I cannot believe that such a wonderful handsome man would love me so dearly. and i just know that i prayed for a man who would love me and I could be happy. God sent him to me
after almost 3 years he one night said Aimi Marry me !
He tells me every day he loves me and I still have to pinch my self.
God made me wait 5years to be alone and then sent me my very own Angel. Ruthie we are very lucky women.

Aimi

 

[Cristiano]

I still enjoy conversations with older men. I think 50 is a great age for men.

God bless your heart!
I just turned 50.