Agnostic, God Probably Doesn't Exist: When not to receive the Eucharist? When not to recite the Creed?

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Steve Ray has a talk on YouTube arguing that, according to the Bible, belief means obedience, rather than intellectual agreement or understanding. Is it okay to receive the Eucharist if you’re not cognizant of any mortal sin and are obedient to Church teaching, even if you think God probably doesn’t exist? According to Steve Ray, the answer appears to be, ‘Yes’, because one does believe if one is obedient, that obedience demonstrates belief.

After extensive reading and noting all the problems with the apologetics of Trent Horn and others, I have come to the conclusion that I have no good reason to believe in God, i.e. to believe the Catholic Church. I am now a Christian in spite of the evidence, not because of it. I continue practicing the Christian faith perhaps from psychological weakness, that I want God to exist, but at the same time I have reached a fatalistic fatigue: I’m tired of knocking at the door. I’m ready to regard God as a “Sunday only” kind of thing, because I’m tired of praying to silence and reading the same Bible over and over again.

Reciting the Nicene Creed bothers me: What does it mean to believe it? Do I or do I not? If someone were to put a gun to me and say, “Do you believe everything in the Nicene Creed?” I would have to say, “I don’t know if it’s true, but I hope it’s true.” Does that constitute belief? Am I lying when I recite it at Mass?

It seems my efforts to learn more are at an end, as well. I cannot afford to purchase any more books, nor would I have the time to read them except a little on weekends, and Catholic Answers seems to have no more to give me: I tried calling Trent Horn recently, and was bitterly disappointed. I was not allowed to ask my original question (asking Trent to defend his frequently assumed ‘principle of sufficient reason’), and I was not allowed to remain on the air for more than a brief moment. It seemed they did not want to interact with me. It seems to me that I have exhausted “Catholic Answers Live” as a resource: They don’t want to engage in a lengthy, serious debate on the air; they only want Intro to Philosophy questions for Trent Horn to easily answer. There is content in the Catholic Encyclopedia, but much of it I have already read, and it only takes me part of the way (and of course it cannot answer the questions it raises). I’ve already read Trent Horn’s book, and many others. I know the Christian faith better than many others, thanks in part to Catholic Answers, and to some extent that only makes my despair worse, because I am forced to ask, “Is this really all there is? Are these really the best arguments in defense of Christianity?”

I suppose I’m posting this here just to double-check that it’s okay for me to continue receiving the Eucharist on Sundays, and with some small hope that someone will have some resource for me, or open some door. Perhaps I need counseling for depression (medical treatment), but that is another problem in itself (lack of healthcare access).
 
My dear friend, I notice you still want to receive the Eucharist, despite your struggles. Have you reflected on why you want to receive the Eucharist?

Also, keep in mind that believing is a choice that we have to make, even if we don’t feel great and all warm and fuzzy inside. And for Christians, it’s not uncommon to have doubts. Even Mother Teresa had doubts! So my advice is to find a priest you trust and talk to him about this, just as Mother Teresa also brought up her doubts with a priest she trusted.
 
Is it okay to receive the Eucharist if you’re not cognizant of any mortal sin and are obedient to Church teaching, even if you think God probably doesn’t exist?
Maybe. Innocent doubt is not sinful. If you want to believe, but find yourself unable (and even if you cannot imagine ever being able) then you are not necessarily precluded from receiving Eucharist…

But two other conditions are necessary. The main one is that you must realize that you are wrong and the Church is right (even if you cannot comprehend how) and you must make a sincere, ongoing and good-faith effort to reconcile your disbelief. And, obviously, you must not try to teach your heterodox opinion to others as truth.

If you do not make this ongoing effort then you become complacent (or, worse, obstinate) in your disbelief, which can be sinful, but does not necessarily bar you from Eucharist. That would only happen if your disbelief included full knowledge and complete consent (which is required for any sin to be mortal). Nobody here can tell you if this is the case for you.
 
Reciting the Nicene Creed bothers me: What does it mean to believe it? Do I or do I not? If someone were to put a gun to me and say, “Do you believe everything in the Nicene Creed?” I would have to say, “I don’t know if it’s true, but I hope it’s true.” Does that constitute belief? Am I lying when I recite it at Mass?
Interesting questions.

I once worked for a boss who took exception to praying in cadences. One is probably more focused on trying to keep up or slow down so as not to stand out. He claimed it wasn’t a sincere prayer on the part of the congregation. I tend to agree with him.

That said, I know people who will not say certain lines, like “the resurrection of the body” but at least those people are more conscious of what they’re reciting.
 
Steve Ray has a talk on YouTube arguing that, according to the Bible, belief means obedience, rather than intellectual agreement or understanding. Is it okay to receive the Eucharist if you’re not cognizant of any mortal sin and are obedient to Church teaching, even if you think God probably doesn’t exist? According to Steve Ray, the answer appears to be, ‘Yes’, because one does believe if one is obedient, that obedience demonstrates belief.

After extensive reading and noting all the problems with the apologetics of Trent Horn and others, I have come to the conclusion that I have no good reason to believe in God, i.e. to believe the Catholic Church. I am now a Christian in spite of the evidence, not because of it. I continue practicing the Christian faith perhaps from psychological weakness, that I want God to exist, but at the same time I have reached a fatalistic fatigue: I’m tired of knocking at the door. I’m ready to regard God as a “Sunday only” kind of thing, because I’m tired of praying to silence and reading the same Bible over and over again.

Reciting the Nicene Creed bothers me: What does it mean to believe it? Do I or do I not? If someone were to put a gun to me and say, “Do you believe everything in the Nicene Creed?” I would have to say, “I don’t know if it’s true, but I hope it’s true.” Does that constitute belief? Am I lying when I recite it at Mass?

It seems my efforts to learn more are at an end, as well. I cannot afford to purchase any more books, nor would I have the time to read them except a little on weekends, and Catholic Answers seems to have no more to give me: I tried calling Trent Horn recently, and was bitterly disappointed. I was not allowed to ask my original question (asking Trent to defend his frequently assumed ‘principle of sufficient reason’), and I was not allowed to remain on the air for more than a brief moment. It seemed they did not want to interact with me. It seems to me that I have exhausted “Catholic Answers Live” as a resource: They don’t want to engage in a lengthy, serious debate on the air; they only want Intro to Philosophy questions for Trent Horn to easily answer. There is content in the Catholic Encyclopedia, but much of it I have already read, and it only takes me part of the way (and of course it cannot answer the questions it raises). I’ve already read Trent Horn’s book, and many others. I know the Christian faith better than many others, thanks in part to Catholic Answers, and to some extent that only makes my despair worse, because I am forced to ask, “Is this really all there is? Are these really the best arguments in defense of Christianity?”

I suppose I’m posting this here just to double-check that it’s okay for me to continue receiving the Eucharist on Sundays, and with some small hope that someone will have some resource for me, or open some door. Perhaps I need counseling for depression (medical treatment), but that is another problem in itself (lack of healthcare access).
If you have questions that Mr. Horn didn’t answer, you might get an answer from people at the Apologetics forum. Just a thought.

Also, remember, that, despite the claims of others, Agnosticism doesn’t mean one has to be a practical atheist. One can live practically as if there were God, even if speculatively one is not sure, or simply just ignorant of the arguments for God’s existence (do you think Mother Theresa or most of the other Saints were well studied on Aquinas’s Five Ways, etc?). A famous Agnostic that believed that ones should be a practical theist would be Immanuel Kant.

Christi pax,

Lucretius
 
I do not know of any average Christian who does not find the silence of God very tiring. Have faith seems so trite at times, always struggling against the nothing; no feelings; no response; no immediate proof His existence. Just the low hum of wanting to believe as a last recourse against the futility of existence without Him. This ennui of exhausted hope is the price of discipleship. It was felt in the upper room; it was felt by the great saints. This sigh must be a sign of continued faith.

I have no idea why an all powerful God would allow such horrors to which our world is presently exposed. Our fathers, who saw WW2 would have said the same. So would our grandfathers who saw WW1. Nothing changes. Nothing gets better. And still His silence in the face of generations of prayers is our only answer at our outrage and despair.
But still we seek to believe in our disbelief. Is this not faith?
Do not look for answers in books. Prayer is our only recourse in the face of doubt. Our intellect can only take us part of the journey. Submission in the state of doubt is our only hope. So very hard to submit the intellect when we feel it is all we have left.But our intellect is small cheese in the face of the Almighty. For the foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than human strength.

Just pray, as this doubter does, for the gifts of the Holy Spirit.
 
Don’t write yourself off yet, Ethereality! Life is full of surprises!

I am Catholic because of WW I - my grandfather’s job was close to his home and their Catholic neighbour lady was serene in losing her husband and son at the front. Another grandparent met a spouse because of the war but from what I’m told there wasn’t such a living faith on that side of the family, but an aspiration to believe.

Faith mostly comes not from people winning an argument with one, but by one seeing God make a difference. In my case it needed a lot to make me come back to the faith. Part of it was that several couples who were all on the brink of divorcing became harmonious. All played their part in hosting a lengthy series of Bible studies, where we could discuss existential faith - what made our experience similar to Abraham’s or Jacob’s. Many years later we moved onto the Beatitudes. That space to study and discuss and have wholesome company in the midst of my loneliness and despair wasn’t something I could contrive - it was God’s intervention.

It’s difficult to recommend anything to you where the churches don’t habitually set these situations up for the purpose. But God will arrange something if you cry out to Him.

Contrary to stereotype, we are allowed to dialogue frankly with Him!
 
Steve Ray has a talk on YouTube arguing that, according to the Bible, belief means obedience, rather than intellectual agreement or understanding. Is it okay to receive the Eucharist if you’re not cognizant of any mortal sin and are obedient to Church teaching, even if you think God probably doesn’t exist? According to Steve Ray, the answer appears to be, ‘Yes’, because one does believe if one is obedient, that obedience demonstrates belief.
Yes, and no. 🙂 Yes, if you want to believe and are trying to believe–then it is an act of faith to reciite the parts of the Creed you find difficult to grasp/believe. If you mean in spite of certain knowledge or against your well-formed conscience, then no, it’s not an act of faith, but of habit. Only you can know the difference. Still, discussing this with a priest would be the best thing to do, as someone else wisely suggested. 🙂
After extensive reading and noting all the problems with the apologetics of Trent Horn and others, I have come to the conclusion that I have no good reason to believe in God, i.e. to believe the Catholic Church. I am now a Christian in spite of the evidence, not because of it. I continue practicing the Christian faith perhaps from psychological weakness, that I want God to exist, but at the same time I have reached a fatalistic fatigue: I’m tired of knocking at the door. I’m ready to regard God as a “Sunday only” kind of thing, because I’m tired of praying to silence and reading the same Bible over and over again.
God isn’t a propostion to be believed on the evidence. He’s a person with whom we have a relationship. If you come at it from that angle it may make more sense to you.
Reciting the Nicene Creed bothers me: What does it mean to believe it? Do I or do I not? If someone were to put a gun to me and say, “Do you believe everything in the Nicene Creed?” I would have to say, “I don’t know if it’s true, but I hope it’s true.” Does that constitute belief? Am I lying when I recite it at Mass?
Yes, that’s belief enough. A desparate father echoed your very thought:

Mark 9[23] And Jesus said to him, “If you can! All things are possible to him who believes.”
[24] Immediately the father of the child cried out and said, “I believe; help my unbelief!”
It seems my efforts to learn more are at an end, as well. I cannot afford to purchase any more books, nor would I have the time to read them except a little on weekends, and Catholic Answers seems to have no more to give me: I tried calling Trent Horn recently, and was bitterly disappointed. I was not allowed to ask my original question (asking Trent to defend his frequently assumed ‘principle of sufficient reason’), and I was not allowed to remain on the air for more than a brief moment. It seemed they did not want to interact with me. It seems to me that I have exhausted “Catholic Answers Live” as a resource: They don’t want to engage in a lengthy, serious debate on the air; they only want Intro to Philosophy questions for Trent Horn to easily answer. There is content in the Catholic Encyclopedia, but much of it I have already read, and it only takes me part of the way (and of course it cannot answer the questions it raises). I’ve already read Trent Horn’s book, and many others. I know the Christian faith better than many others, thanks in part to Catholic Answers, and to some extent that only makes my despair worse, because I am forced to ask, “Is this really all there is? Are these really the best arguments in defense of Christianity?”
When you have exhausted all outer resources, you must look within. Jesus told us that the kingdom of God is within, not without ourselves. I think you do believe, but are struggling in a world in which only cetain kinds of evidence are allowed into the discussion–physical evidence, which hardly covers the whole of human experience. So, look within. Quiet yourself and simply let God be God in your soul. He wants a relationship with you not an intellectual debate. St. Augustine had the same issues, in the end he simply admitted that God was God and he wasn’t. He found his answer within–where the kingdom of God resides in all of us.
I suppose I’m posting this here just to double-check that it’s okay for me to continue receiving the Eucharist on Sundays, and with some small hope that someone will have some resource for me, or open some door. Perhaps I need counseling for depression (medical treatment), but that is another problem in itself (lack of healthcare access).
Yes, continue to receive. It’s the best medicine there is for spiritual difficulties. And do talk to your priest about all this.

You know the greater the struggle, the greater the suffering in such struggles, the greater the reward–not an earthly, selfish kind of reward, but a solid love of God which transforms us into people perfected in love towards God and our fellow human beings.
 
I do not know of any average Christian who does not find the silence of God very tiring. Have faith seems so trite at times, always struggling against the nothing; no feelings; no response; no immediate proof His existence. Just the low hum of wanting to believe as a last recourse against the futility of existence without Him. This ennui of exhausted hope is the price of discipleship. It was felt in the upper room; it was felt by the great saints. This sigh must be a sign of continued faith.

snip
This may be the most profound statement that I will have read all year long.
 
Yes, continue to receive. It’s the best medicine there is for spiritual difficulties. And do talk to your priest about all this.
I would talk to the priest first. If there is no faith, communion can’t do much to fix that. I believe it’s superstition to think otherwise. But then there are areas of psychology I don’t quite understand.
 
I do not know of any average Christian who does not find the silence of God very tiring. Have faith seems so trite at times, always struggling against the nothing; no feelings; no response; no immediate proof His existence. Just the low hum of wanting to believe as a last recourse against the futility of existence without Him. This ennui of exhausted hope is the price of discipleship. It was felt in the upper room; it was felt by the great saints. This sigh must be a sign of continued faith.

I have no idea why an all powerful God would allow such horrors to which our world is presently exposed. Our fathers, who saw WW2 would have said the same. So would our grandfathers who saw WW1. Nothing changes. Nothing gets better. And still His silence in the face of generations of prayers is our only answer at our outrage and despair.
But still we seek to believe in our disbelief. Is this not faith?
Do not look for answers in books. Prayer is our only recourse in the face of doubt. Our intellect can only take us part of the journey. Submission in the state of doubt is our only hope. So very hard to submit the intellect when we feel it is all we have left.But our intellect is small cheese in the face of the Almighty. For the foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than human strength.

Just pray, as this doubter does, for the gifts of the Holy Spirit.
Petaro, I could have written your post myself. I feel the exact same way.

I will to believe with all my might. It’s all I have left. Without it, my life at this point isn’t worth going on for.

Pascal’s Wager they call it: I’ll never know if I was wrong to believe, but I will know if I was right. It’s a win/win with nothing to lose.

Pray for me, and I will pray for you too.
 
God isn’t a propostion to be believed on the evidence. He’s a person with whom we have a relationship. If you come at it from that angle it may make more sense to you.
Coming at it from that angle actually hastened my descent into agnosticism, because I tried to have a relationship with Jesus the same way I related to everyone else. I still don’t understand the Incarnation or the Trinity, but it seems the only way to have a relationship with God is to read the Bible, be docile to and obey the Church, and focus on others. That is, it seems we cannot have a two-way conversation with God, nor any physical intimacy, nor can we relate to God through any of the physical means we relate to other human beings. Therefore, I wish people would be more specific when they speak of “having a relationship with God”. If they mean refraining from sin, making self-sacrifice, reading the Bible and receiving the Eucharist, then they should explicitly say so, and not pretend that their relationship with God is like a relationship with man.
So, look within. Quiet yourself and simply let God be God in your soul.
The trouble here is how to avoid self-delusion. As an example, recently on “Catholic Answers Live” Jimmy Akin fielded a question from an apparent college student regarding an alleged priest complicit with the American homosexual agenda who commented that “my job is not to be a good Catholic; my job is to be at peace with God”: It seems we must not try to convince ourselves of things, but rather God must take the initiative to make Himself known to us, while we must take the initiative to be receptive to such action. (Namely, I think this means docility and obedience to the Church, e.g. refraining from sin so that our minds can remain clear of impassioned evil and worldly pursuit.)
talk to your priest about all this.
Doing so is difficult, and I’d rather not. My priest is busy, not fluent in English, and more sentimental than rational. Past conversations have mainly led to emotional exhaustion without much insight.
 
Pray for me, and I will pray for you too.
Thanks.
Pascal’s Wager they call it: I’ll never know if I was wrong to believe, but I will know if I was right. It’s a win/win with nothing to lose.
I like this formulation of it, though I think it is wrong to say you have nothing to lose (or even a marginal loss) if wrong: As the New Testament makes clear, being a Christian demands everything of you. It means putting yourself third (i.e. your neighbor ahead of yourself), and sacrificing pleasures and comforts to help others. Hence the Christian’s life on earth must be harder, and apparently less comfortable and less pleasurable, than the non-Christian’s. So Pascal’s Wager is incorrect in its assessment of what is lost if God were to not exist.

For this reason I wonder what Jesus means by saying His “yoke is easy, [His] burden light” regarding being His disciple. I can only understand this passage to imply that sin is worse than suffering, and “vice its own punishment, virtue its own reward”.
 
Pascal’s Wager they call it: I’ll never know if I was wrong to believe, but I will know if I was right. It’s a win/win with nothing to lose.
I believe the corollary to that is that it’s better to believe in a punishing God than a merciful one. But that’s another topic.
 
One of the biggest dangers in coming on an internet forum with your troubles, spiritual or otherwise, is you are easily misunderstood and rash judgments are sometimes made. Often more harm than good comes from it. My post was very much misunderstood and a lot was assumed from what I wrote.
 
Steve Ray has a talk on YouTube arguing that, according to the Bible, belief means obedience, rather than intellectual agreement or understanding. Is it okay to receive the Eucharist if you’re not cognizant of any mortal sin and are obedient to Church teaching, even if you think God probably doesn’t exist? According to Steve Ray, the answer appears to be, ‘Yes’, because one does believe if one is obedient, that obedience demonstrates belief.

After extensive reading and noting all the problems with the apologetics of Trent Horn and others, I have come to the conclusion that I have no good reason to believe in God, i.e. to believe the Catholic Church. I am now a Christian in spite of the evidence, not because of it. I continue practicing the Christian faith perhaps from psychological weakness, that I want God to exist, but at the same time I have reached a fatalistic fatigue: I’m tired of knocking at the door. I’m ready to regard God as a “Sunday only” kind of thing, because I’m tired of praying to silence and reading the same Bible over and over again.

Reciting the Nicene Creed bothers me: What does it mean to believe it? Do I or do I not? If someone were to put a gun to me and say, “Do you believe everything in the Nicene Creed?” I would have to say, “I don’t know if it’s true, but I hope it’s true.” Does that constitute belief? Am I lying when I recite it at Mass?

It seems my efforts to learn more are at an end, as well. I cannot afford to purchase any more books, nor would I have the time to read them except a little on weekends, and Catholic Answers seems to have no more to give me: I tried calling Trent Horn recently, and was bitterly disappointed. I was not allowed to ask my original question (asking Trent to defend his frequently assumed ‘principle of sufficient reason’), and I was not allowed to remain on the air for more than a brief moment. It seemed they did not want to interact with me. It seems to me that I have exhausted “Catholic Answers Live” as a resource: They don’t want to engage in a lengthy, serious debate on the air; they only want Intro to Philosophy questions for Trent Horn to easily answer. There is content in the Catholic Encyclopedia, but much of it I have already read, and it only takes me part of the way (and of course it cannot answer the questions it raises). I’ve already read Trent Horn’s book, and many others. I know the Christian faith better than many others, thanks in part to Catholic Answers, and to some extent that only makes my despair worse, because I am forced to ask, “Is this really all there is? Are these really the best arguments in defense of Christianity?”

I suppose I’m posting this here just to double-check that it’s okay for me to continue receiving the Eucharist on Sundays, and with some small hope that someone will have some resource for me, or open some door. Perhaps I need counseling for depression (medical treatment), but that is another problem in itself (lack of healthcare access).
This thread is too long and I can’t read all the posts. Many here that I know so I’m sure you’ve been given good advice.

I only want to say two things.

Do you know someone named Doubting Thomas? He was an apostle of Jesus and had trouble believing something. Jesus still loved him.

Take this advice: Stop talking to people on the radio you don’t know. It’s God you’re trying to get to know, not that guy you’re trying to speak to (whom I don’t know). He might be very nice and very intelligent and very good at what he does, but Jesus is going to save you, not him. Make the NT speak to you in a personal way. Come to your own understanding. Let God speak to you. I find so many people have a problem with trying to come to some understanding of christianity from the experience of others.

That’s why it’s called a PERSONAL relationship!
Oh. And don’t expect to FEEL anything. Jesus is a knowing - not a feeling.

Sorry if I’ve repeated others.

Fran
p.s. Depression affects every facet of your life. Pills are cheap and you only need one a day. Go to your primary provider and get some! God bless.
 
I do not know of any average Christian who does not find the silence of God very tiring. Have faith seems so trite at times, always struggling against the nothing; no feelings; no response; no immediate proof His existence. Just the low hum of wanting to believe as a last recourse against the futility of existence without Him. This ennui of exhausted hope is the price of discipleship. It was felt in the upper room; it was felt by the great saints. This sigh must be a sign of continued faith.

I have no idea why an all powerful God would allow such horrors to which our world is presently exposed. Our fathers, who saw WW2 would have said the same. So would our grandfathers who saw WW1. Nothing changes. Nothing gets better. And still His silence in the face of generations of prayers is our only answer at our outrage and despair.
But still we seek to believe in our disbelief. Is this not faith?
Do not look for answers in books. Prayer is our only recourse in the face of doubt. Our intellect can only take us part of the journey. Submission in the state of doubt is our only hope. So very hard to submit the intellect when we feel it is all we have left.But our intellect is small cheese in the face of the Almighty. For the foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than human strength.

Just pray, as this doubter does, for the gifts of the Holy Spirit.
AMEN to that!

You must be a writer –

Fran
 
I do hope a lot of people do not think and feel this way…that without a specific faith or God, their life isn’t worth living.
Even a God–even that God–would not want you to think that.

I think this is a very dangerous way to think because many people have actually killed themselves with this line of thinking.
I’d be especially cautious to pass along these thoughts to someone who has just described himself as possibly depressed, as the OP did.

Even if you found out that what you believed is not true or doesn’t exist…that is no reason to think one’s life is worthless.
There may be so much we do not know yet…there may be answers, motives, a plan…that no one knows yet!
To feel one’s life is worthless just because one set-up proves untrue would be…really, really, really a shame and a waste of a life and a great opportunity to live it. It would be giving up far too easily.

There may be a very important reason we are here, even if we don’t know what it is or why yet. Even if we cannot comprehend it. Even if all the man-made sorting out of it doesn’t not add up.

To think your life is useful and with value and “worth going on for” no matter what…that I would call real “faith”.

.
Some day you’re going to say something nice.
May the force be with you too - whatever you believe that force to be!! :rolleyes:

Fran
 
Thanks.

I like this formulation of it, though I think it is wrong to say you have nothing to lose (or even a marginal loss) if wrong: As the New Testament makes clear, being a Christian demands everything of you. It means putting yourself third (i.e. your neighbor ahead of yourself), and sacrificing pleasures and comforts to help others. Hence the Christian’s life on earth must be harder, and apparently less comfortable and less pleasurable, than the non-Christian’s. So Pascal’s Wager is incorrect in its assessment of what is lost if God were to not exist.

For this reason I wonder what Jesus means by saying His “yoke is easy, [His] burden light” regarding being His disciple. I can only understand this passage to imply that sin is worse than suffering, and “vice its own punishment, virtue its own reward”.
My goodness ethereality, where did you get this idea??

The yoke being easy:

Here’s a problem you’re having. You’re trying to follow a whole bunch of rules and regulations. You’re trying to live UNDER THE LAW. The freed slaves tried that way back in the Sinai desert. It didn’t work! You can’t keep the Law. You can’t live life by trying to follow rules.

Jesus’ yoke is easy because He already did all the work for you! Oxen wear yokes to plow the field. His yoke is easy because He’s plowing the field for you.

Read up on grace. You’re not supposed to be following the 10 commandments because you HAVE TO or because you want to be good or for any other reason.

You should be following the commandments because you love Jesus, you love that He died for you and youi WANT to follow the commandments.

See if you can get this concept. Don’t do anything - just love the Lord. Remember that He DID say to love your neighbor AS YOURSELF. He was the first and best psychologist! You must love yourself before you can love anyone else. And you must love God before you could love yourself. You’re number two in there, not number three.
You come right after God!

God is love. God is grace. A personal relationship just means that you know Him in a personal way. You feel like you know what He was talking about in those parables. You feel like He knows you somehow. You feel like you would know how He’d feel about something, like you could confide in Him. He even answers, but you have to listen to Him, he’ll speak to your heart.

Unfortunately, you won’t get to hug him while you’re here on earth, but someday you will!

Think about God’s love and grace and not concepts. Nobody understands the Trinity or many other concepts for that matter. Leave that to the theologians. That’s not what’s going to get you to heaven. Jesus is.

Fran
 
Coming at it from that angle actually hastened my descent into agnosticism, because I tried to have a relationship with Jesus the same way I related to everyone else. I still don’t understand the Incarnation or the Trinity, but it seems the only way to have a relationship with God is to read the Bible, be docile to and obey the Church, and focus on others. That is, it seems we cannot have a two-way conversation with God, nor any physical intimacy, nor can we relate to God through any of the physical means we relate to other human beings. Therefore, I wish people would be more specific when they speak of “having a relationship with God”. If they mean refraining from sin, making self-sacrifice, reading the Bible and receiving the Eucharist, then they should explicitly say so, and not pretend that their relationship with God is like a relationship with man.
What I mean is just sit, be quiet and listen. Bible reading is fine, obeying the Church is fine, helping others is fine, but it’s not listening to God speaking inside us. When you hesitate to do something wrong–that is God speaking to you. When you pray, that is God speaking to you. When you realize that there is someone greater than yourself, that is God speaking to you. God often uses others to communicate with us, but he wants us to take the time to just be quiet and let him be God. You don’t have to think about anything or try to make anything happen. As you are quiet God will speak to you by stirring your heart and soul. It requires a bit of patience–that’s all God asks–that we put ourselve in his presence and let him be God.
The trouble here is how to avoid self-delusion. As an example, recently on “Catholic Answers Live” Jimmy Akin fielded a question from an apparent college student regarding an alleged priest complicit with the American homosexual agenda who commented that “my job is not to be a good Catholic; my job is to be at peace with God”: It seems we must not try to convince ourselves of things, but rather God must take the initiative to make Himself known to us, while we must take the initiative to be receptive to such action. (Namely, I think this means docility and obedience to the Church, e.g. refraining from sin so that our minds can remain clear of impassioned evil and worldly pursuit.)
As for self-delusion–as long as we stick to Christ’s teachings as given to us by his Church, we cannot be self-deceived. The priest you cited saying “my job is not to be a good Catholic” had already deluded himself, poor man. Our job is to be good Catholics first and foremost. If we are, then everything else follows naturally for God will sustain us by his grace.

God has already made himself known to us in Christ Jesus, his Son. We need no other word from God. Obey the Son and you will know God the Father.
Doing so is difficult, and I’d rather not. My priest is busy, not fluent in English, and more sentimental than rational. Past conversations have mainly led to emotional exhaustion without much insight.
Then seek out another priest or reliable religious to guide you–one you can relate to. Ask God to help you find him/her and someone will come along. Even being here on CAF is reaching out. I just hope we can be helpful to you, my friend. 🙂
 
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