Al-Anon and Alateen are for the friends, family, and children of the alcoholic. We do use the same 12 steps, apart from one or two words changed in Al-Anon. But in Al-Anon, we are trying to get free of our obsession about the alcoholic (which, in a way, is still an obsession with alcohol, it’s just that we aren’t drinking it!) and live our own lives again, while still caring about and loving them. Just not enabling them or taking consequences that don’t belong to us.
I am sure you will find support - go to more than one meeting though - although the basic structure is similar, each group has its own “tone” or “flavor.” Some groups might include more women, some more men, and some mixed (the ones in the evening tend to be the most mixed).
I know how hard it is living with an active alcoholic parent. I have not practiced my Alanon program for awhile and I am reminded that there is hope. My mother has said a lot of awful things about me. She criticizes everything and everybody and is wakes up grouchy in the morning. I had a big argument with her yesterday. She has tendency to be self centered and put her needs first. My self esteem was affected and I was affected by codependency. I will put other peoples needs above my own. But God loves us. Let it go in Gods hands and don’t focus on the alcoholic and what they are doing or not doing. Focus on Gods love for you. I was tod that arguing with an alcoholic does not help. When they are acting crazy they want you to jump in and act crazy with them and then they blame you for it. Alanon says we did not cause it, can’t control it, and I can’t cure it. Yesterday I fell into the trap of arguing again. I had a meltdown and couldn’t handle the constant put downs and ran away crying and sat in the garage wailing. None of what they say or think about you is true. In AA they tell alcoholics go ahead and criticize and take someone’s inventory and then put your name on top. Their put downs are about them not you. Don’t take it personally. The alcoholic likes to make their life miserable so they have an excuse to drink, poor me poor me pour me another drink. It is a physical spiritual and emotional disease. Ask Matt Talbot to pray for you. He quit drinking. Look up his story. I’m 45 and I’m not perfect. I’m living with her because she had glaucoma and I help to take care of her. I asked all the saints to intercede for me last night and St Michael and Padre Pio. Please pray for me. The verbal abuse did stop. Don’t argue with them even if they say the nastiest things about you. The moment you don’t react to them they quiet down. They love arguments. It justifies their drinking. When I have refused to argue with my mom she goes to her room and stops talking. I love her still. She gave birth to me but I have a Heavenly Mother too, Our Lady and she gives me what my mom is not capable of giving me. So keep the focus on your Heavenly Father. He is perfect and is stronger than alcoholism. He can give you what your earthly father cannot give not because he doesn’t love you but because he does not know how.
I know how hard it is living with an active alcoholic parent. I have not practiced my Alanon program for awhile and I am reminded that there is hope. My mother has said a lot of awful things about me. She criticizes everything and everybody and wakes up grouchy in the morning. I had a big argument with her yesterday. She has tendency to be self centered and put her needs first. My self esteem was affected and I was affected by codependency. I will put other peoples needs above my own. But God loves us. Let it go in Gods hands and don’t focus on the alcoholic and what they are doing or not doing. Focus on Gods love for you.
I was told that arguing with an alcoholic does not help. When they are acting crazy they want you to jump in and act crazy with them and then they blame you for it. Alanon says we did not cause it, can’t control it, and I can’t cure it. Yesterday I fell into the trap of arguing again. I had a meltdown and couldn’t handle the constant put downs and ran away crying and sat in the garage wailing. None of what they say or think about you is true. In AA they tell alcoholics to go ahead and criticize and take someone’s inventory and then put your name on top. Their put downs are about them not you. Don’t take it personally. The alcoholic likes to make their life miserable so they have an excuse to drink, poor me poor me pour me another drink. It is a physical spiritual and emotional disease.
Ask Matt Talbot to pray for you. He quit drinking. Look up his story. I’m 45 and I’m not perfect. I’m living with her because she has glaucoma and I help to take care of her. I asked all the saints to intercede for me last night and St Michael and Padre Pio. Please pray for me. The verbal abuse did stop. Don’t argue with them even if they say the nastiest things about you. The moment you don’t react to them they quiet down. They love arguments. It justifies their drinking. When I have refused to argue with my mom she goes to her room and stops talking. I love her still. She gave birth to me but I have a Heavenly Mother too, Our Lady and she gives me what my mom is not capable of giving me. So keep the focus on your Heavenly Father. He is perfect and is stronger than alcoholism. He can give you what your earthly father cannot give not because he doesn’t love you but because he does not know how.
DISCLAIMER: Catholic Answers has turned over the archive to Catholic-Questions.org and no longer owns, manages, or moderates the forums. For additional apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.
