All the single ladies ... and men

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Elisabethelisa said:
I’m laughing but Chevalier is right though! If you’re so sure your list is weird you should definitely work on it to make it better(?). But to me there is nothing weird on it only your attitude is weird here.
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According to the “standards” set by the secularists, my list would be a turn-off. Hence, me calling it weird to put it lightly.
 
Chevalier has enumerated a list of Asperger’s Syndrome-type failings that make personal relations challenging to say the least. We have an epidemic of Autism Spectrum Disorder-afflicted people so may we pray for miracles of healing for hearts and minds, bodies and souls; and sacred bonding and relationships in God’s will and for His honor and glory; and for divine love that transcends and is immanent within earthly relations. Thanks, God. AMEN
chevalier said:
Okay, I apologise in advance for the verbosity. I’m not presuming that what I have to say is worth the time needed to readed to read this block of text but I can’t really make it more concise without losing the meaning.

I’m always drawn to the grande dame, tall but not towering, slender shoulders, sharp and somewhat ascetic facial features, dignified palms, somewhat of a proud bearing, meaningful gaze, relatively long hair (shoulder blades or so), some magnanimity and a no-nonsense way of ignoring small inconveniences. Especially some natural kindness and goodness, beyond the letter of minimal politeness.

I hesitate to go through “such and such offends me” because I don’t want to make anyone feel less than appreciated as a fellow Christian being due to sharing a similarity with what I should list, but I believe the following deserve pointing out:

– vulgarity, especially in connection with views on or experience of love and sexuality;
– rudeness;
– cynicism taken too far (everybody lies etc.) or being too uncritical in accepting gossip and conspiracy theories (especially about the Catholic Church);
– a feeling of (social) superiority (due to being female, or otherwise)–this is where traditional upbringing can sometimes go wrong (this includes the “all men are swine” but there is more variety);
– too much of a “rights” attitude, an unfortunate by-product of more modern, democratic societies (“I’m a free person and you’ve got to put up with my decisions” type of act);
– letting it show that she has somewhat low regard of me (e.g. the “yeah, whatever” act, things that would be considered insults 100 years ago when polite circles were more polite);
– showing low regard or priority, e.g. how strong or trivial the reasons are for turning down invitations, changing plans etc., whether she volunteers an alternative proposal or not in such a situation.

I wouldn’t like to go into specifics because that could be somewhat uncharitable but let’s say I appreciate it when she:

– keeps promises, apologises and states a reason when forgot or unable (both of which are human and not a problem);
– isn’t above volunteering a reason for her actions, even if she doesn’t owe me one (I very much appreciated how a certain when a girl in my past narrowed it down to “a female friend” or “business matters” whenever she mentioned that she was seeing someone);
– will adjust her schedule, make accommodations, ignore or suffer minor inconveniences (e.g. dance with me despite a minor headache, go out despite non-ideal weather, keep walking when a little tired, stay up a little) and will not leave early or cancel out for such reasons;
– isn’t above conveying in words (or otherwise) some positive things (as opposed to a girl who won’t say anything good about you).
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nordskoven said:
Chevalier has enumerated a list of Asperger’s Syndrome-type failings that make personal relations challenging to say the least. We have an epidemic of Autism Spectrum Disorder-afflicted people so may we pray for miracles of healing for hearts and minds, bodies and souls; and sacred bonding and relationships in God’s will and for His honor and glory; and for divine love that transcends and is immanent within earthly relations. Thanks, God. AMEN
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I’m curious as to where you find those Asperger’s Syndrome-type failings in what I wrote? I scored next to a functional autistic person’s range in the last test I took, for the record, and have a good number of the typical traits, though perhaps not in such an intensity as in childhood or as a real autistic person. Anyway, I don’t think there are any on my list of negatives. My list of negatives generally comes down to being disrespectful in this or that way, which is different from, let’s say, lacking in natural or even trained social graces.

However, I can’t really find anything particularly characteristic of Asperger’s in which I describe as being attractive to me in my experience. Maybe you see something there, as in sensing a heightened need for emotional intimacy and some kind of social isolation? At any rate, I would like to hear your side.
 
I’m surprised no one (at least that I’ve read) has mentioned physical attraction under green flags or physical repulsion under red flags. Is it just something being overlooked or is it just assumed that the person in question is someone they find attractive? For me, physical attraction (doesn’t have to be model like or anything, just someone I’m attracted to) is nearly tied with being Catholic. I don’t know if it’s related to Aspergers and difficulties with personal relationships, but if I’m not attracted to someone, at best, I don’t have any interest in getting to know them and at worst, will find them phsyically repulsive.

Having Aspergers makes me leary of physical contact. However, if I’m attracted to the person, I enjoy hugging them or holding their hand. If I’m not attracted to them, hugging them makes my skin crawl. It makes me feel bad that I’m like this and am probably missing out on some great girls, but I can’t help it.
 
Bataar said:
I’m surprised no one (at least that I’ve read) has mentioned physical attraction under green flags or physical repulsion under red flags. Is it just something being overlooked or is it just assumed that the person in question is someone they find attractive? For me, physical attraction (doesn’t have to be model like or anything, just someone I’m attracted to) is nearly tied with being Catholic. I don’t know if it’s related to Aspergers and difficulties with personal relationships, but if I’m not attracted to someone, at best, I don’t have any interest in getting to know them and at worst, will find them phsyically repulsive.

Having Aspergers makes me leary of physical contact. However, if I’m attracted to the person, I enjoy hugging them or holding their hand. If I’m not attracted to them, hugging them makes my skin crawl. It makes me feel bad that I’m like this and am probably missing out on some great girls, but I can’t help it.
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I think it highly depends on the individual. Some people place a higher emphasis on physical attraction than others. But, I must say, sometimes placing a great value on physical attraction/looks is disconcerting in the sense that many individuals change physically over time. For myself, I do not place a high value upon the exterior for I am aware that if that is a huge consideration for myself, then in turn, I will be judged for what I look like. Also, for me, many qualities that are internal present a higher attraction than external; intelligence, faith, and kindness are three qualities that many (including myself) are drawn to. I believe that attraction also can grow on one; one may find someone unattractive, however, once one grows to know that particular individual better, certain qualities such as those aforementioned may make that individual extremely attractive.
 
Bataar said:
I’m surprised no one (at least that I’ve read) has mentioned physical attraction under green flags or physical repulsion under red flags. Is it just something being overlooked or is it just assumed that the person in question is someone they find attractive?
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I did specify a number of physical characteristics. I believe I care more about the aesthetical side rather than being driven by something more physiological, although obviously anthropological knowledge does allow a couple of inferences on the basis of that data (for example I seem to be guided by tribal mentality, which essentially means looking for things in common and not for opposites to attract but it goes a bit beyond that; and traits I favour seem to indicate less than perfect health, including a shade of hair colour that likely connects to respiratory problems, which connects with tribal mentality because I have those too). Otherwise it’s personality. “Falling in love” has a lot to do with it but I guess that’s mostly between the pretty face and the pretty act, much like in the old Greek cliché of kallokagathia. What I look for is basically a Tolkien princess, a belle dame avec merci, a learned girl, and one that has wisdom and knows both laughter and a solemn mood (melancholy is okay and a certain amount of gravitas is necessary but I don’t like negativity; on the other side of the spectrum, finding funerals funny is a no-go (I’m not talking about laughter as a defensive or helpless reaction, which sometimes happens in people in distress)). Base physiology generally won’t work on me and trying to use it to gain my attention would fail because I’d either spot it (in which case it’s game over) or be repulsed by it anyway (I find go-go ads to be vomit-inducing, for example, sometimes that type of reportoire makes me angry). But I’m one nasty piece of a survivor and most guys are different.
For me, physical attraction (doesn’t have to be model like or anything, just someone I’m attracted to) is nearly tied with being Catholic. I don’t know if it’s related to Aspergers and difficulties with personal relationships, but if I’m not attracted to someone, at best, I don’t have any interest in getting to know them and at worst, will find them phsyically repulsive.
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Waitasec, if you’re not attracted to someone… you will find her physically repulsive? Of course you can’t logically mean her physique here, so you must mean the physical sensation of being repulsed. Would I be correct in guessing that if you don’t feel the intellectual (or emotional, social, whatever) spark, then you feel as if some kind of physical barrier were in place there? Again, this is just guessword here. Probability hazy.
However, if I’m attracted to the person, I enjoy hugging them or holding their hand. If I’m not attracted to them,
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Same, I’m not particularly fond of people who judge that to be a weakness. I tend often to find women cold or cruel, sometimes to frightening degrees. This is probably largely exaggerated. But the emotional pragmatism is scary.
 
Bataar said:
I’m surprised no one (at least that I’ve read) has mentioned physical attraction under green flags or physical repulsion under red flags. Is it just something being overlooked or is it just assumed that the person in question is someone they find attractive? For me, physical attraction (doesn’t have to be model like or anything, just someone I’m attracted to) is nearly tied with being Catholic. I don’t know if it’s related to Aspergers and difficulties with personal relationships, but if I’m not attracted to someone, at best, I don’t have any interest in getting to know them and at worst, will find them phsyically repulsive.

Having Aspergers makes me leary of physical contact. However, if I’m attracted to the person, I enjoy hugging them or holding their hand. If I’m not attracted to them, hugging them makes my skin crawl. It makes me feel bad that I’m like this and am probably missing out on some great girls, but I can’t help it.
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Actually, I did hint at physical traits.
 
Green flags:
  • Devot Catholic
  • Committed to deepening his relationship with God
  • Good sense of humor
  • Well-versed in theology
  • Taller than me
  • Wants to have lots of children
  • Has a stable financial plan for the future (no scrubs, please)
  • Good conversation skills
  • Chivalrous
  • Can carve a turkey (Don’t know why, I just find this very attractive)
Red flags:
  • Liberal
  • Protestant (no offense, just been burnt before)
  • Can’t hold a conversation
  • Can’t stick up for their beliefs
  • Mean, rude and crude
  • Doesn’t cut their nose hairs (seriously guys, just do it)
🙂
 
psalm27 said:
Green flags:
  • Devot Catholic
  • Committed to deepening his relationship with God
  • Good sense of humor
  • Well-versed in theology
  • Taller than me
  • Wants to have lots of children
  • Has a stable financial plan for the future (no scrubs, please)
  • Good conversation skills
  • Chivalrous
  • Can carve a turkey (Don’t know why, I just find this very attractive)
Red flags:
  • Liberal
  • Protestant (no offense, just been burnt before)
  • Can’t hold a conversation
  • Can’t stick up for their beliefs
  • Mean, rude and crude
  • Doesn’t cut their nose hairs (seriously guys, just do it)
🙂
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Lol, sounds like one of the better ones I have seen here. 😛
 
Lost_Wanderer said:
Likewise but the difference is I call a spade a spade while you have the biased presupposition that it’s a knave (or believe Jokers have their own suit).
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No, I just know silliness when I see it. Your ideal woman is based off of the Japanese ideal as presented in their cartoons. I find that, at the very least, to be an unrealistic expectation from anyone who’s, you know, not animated. Combine this with the statements you’ve made in this thread, such as women being “lucky” to submit to you, and you quite frankly paint an exceedingly creepy picture about the whole thing.

It’s possible that, up to this point, you’ve just chosen some really, really poor words to get your position across; if that’s the case, I’d love to know that my assumption, based off what you’ve said and provided, is wrong.
You yourself have proven otherwise. :rolleyes:
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Nope. Many others here agree with my view so far. If it looks like a duck…🤷
 
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