Alone and possibly pregnant

  • Thread starter Thread starter megan0913
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
M

megan0913

Guest
Hi everyone, I’m new here. I made an account because I’ve been dealing with this horrible problem alone and could really use some advice and encouragement.

I was raised as a devout Catholic, and for most of my 21 years have tried hard to adhere to the Faith. However, for the past couple of months I’ve found myself living a life I never wanted to live. I’ve slept with a friend four times in the past three months, and I’m so ashamed of it. I kept telling myself it would stop, and it hasn’t. Anyways, we’ve (sinfully, I know) used condoms each time. Being the worrywart I am, I’ve been scared of being pregnant every single month we’ve had sex. This month, my breasts started to become sore a few days after I ovulated. I usually don’t get this PMS symptom, so I’m freaking myself out thinking I’m pregnant. My period is due sometime the first week of February, so very soon. I just can’t shake the miserable, lonely feeling that I’m pregnant. If I am, how will I tell my devout parents? How will I tell my friends, most of whom are either also Catholic or some kind of Christian? The guy I’ve been sleeping with isn’t really a good or responsible person. I am so ashamed of my choices, and just want to be forgiven so I can take the steps I need to become a better person, but I’ve been so depressed and downtrodden about this that I can’t seem to pick myself up and move on. I even find it hard to pray and I haven’t been to Confession yet because I’ve been so foolish and feel like I can’t even ask God to forgive me for making the same mistake so many times.

Any advice or encouragement would be appreciated. Prayers, of course, are appreciated too. Thank you 🙂

Megan
 
Be at peace. 🙂
First off… consider going to confession - you’ll feel better. And… stop sleeping with the guy! :o
Then, take a pregnancy test. Best to know - you’ll need to take vitamins and see a doctor. 🙂
Get through those moments FIRST… then go home, tell your parents. Tell them you’ve messed up and you want to do the right thing.
Holy, devout parents will do nothing more than embrace you and look to the future together.

Be at peace.
 
If you are pregnant it is because God wants to bless you. Having a child is one of the greatest blessings God can give. He will provide for His child. Do the right thing and He will see you through it all. Do not be afraid.

God brings good things even out of our bad decisions, this is what makes Him God. As far as telling your parents, remember that they love you and will love your baby too.

My cousin was 19 years old and found herself pregnant. The father of the child abandoned her, her parents pressured her to abort but she courageously committed to her child and took responsibility for her choices. After she gave birth her parents provided her with support. Her daughter is one of the most beautiful and spirited little girls I have ever met and a blessing to everyone. My cousin, 6 years later, is now in a stable relationship with a supportive man and went on to have another baby. Her life is truly blessed.
 
Hey Megan I just wanted to say please don’t worry so much! You’ve done something wrong and you understand that. You should go to confession as soon as you can, and don’t worry about God not forgiving you. He certainly will if you’re sincere.

However you need to find a way to stay strong and resist temptation. And if you can’t resist it, run from it. Don’t put yourself in situations with this person that can easily lead to sin. Maybe it would be best if the two of you don’t spend private one-on-one time with each other period.

Also, make a pregnancy test so you can know for sure and don’t have to wonder for any longer. If you really are pregnant, you should see your child for what it is, namely a wonderful gift and a great blessing.

Anyways welcome to the forums and God bless you 🙂
 
Em_in_FL said:
Be at peace. 🙂
First off… consider going to confession - you’ll feel better. And… stop sleeping with the guy! :o
Then, take a pregnancy test. Best to know - you’ll need to take vitamins and see a doctor. 🙂
Get through those moments FIRST… then go home, tell your parents. Tell them you’ve messed up and you want to do the right thing.
Holy, devout parents will do nothing more than embrace you and look to the future together.

Be at peace.
Click to expand...
Great advice.
 
megan0913 said:
Hi everyone, I’m new here. I made an account because I’ve been dealing with this horrible problem alone and could really use some advice and encouragement.

I was raised as a devout Catholic, and for most of my 21 years have tried hard to adhere to the Faith. However, for the past couple of months I’ve found myself living a life I never wanted to live. I’ve slept with a friend four times in the past three months, and I’m so ashamed of it. I kept telling myself it would stop, and it hasn’t. Anyways, we’ve (sinfully, I know) used condoms each time. Being the worrywart I am, I’ve been scared of being pregnant every single month we’ve had sex. This month, my breasts started to become sore a few days after I ovulated. I usually don’t get this PMS symptom, so I’m freaking myself out thinking I’m pregnant. My period is due sometime the first week of February, so very soon. I just can’t shake the miserable, lonely feeling that I’m pregnant. If I am, how will I tell my devout parents? How will I tell my friends, most of whom are either also Catholic or some kind of Christian? The guy I’ve been sleeping with isn’t really a good or responsible person. I am so ashamed of my choices, and just want to be forgiven so I can take the steps I need to become a better person, but I’ve been so depressed and downtrodden about this that I can’t seem to pick myself up and move on. I even find it hard to pray and I haven’t been to Confession yet because I’ve been so foolish and feel like I can’t even ask God to forgive me for making the same mistake so many times.

Any advice or encouragement would be appreciated. Prayers, of course, are appreciated too. Thank you 🙂

Megan
Click to expand...
#1, Go to confession immediately. You will feel so much better afterward and it will give you the grace to deal with #2 and #3 as well.

#2, I know that you may not really want to know, but do go and get a pregnancy test, they are very good these days and can give you a result quite early on.

#3, Whatever you are doing with this guy, such as drinking and being alone with him, stop doing it. You’re taking a big risk by engaging in sexual activity with him, and you know that. So just stop it, tell him you can’t go on this way.

#4, Learn from this mistake.

:grouphug::hug1:
 
Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.

Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.

Amen.

†

Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

Amen.

†
 
Megan - we have all made mistakes, and have done things we wish we dint do. God forgives, and loves you. Do you have a spiritual adviser you can turn to? Confession is important, but so is finding someone to talk to.

If you are pregnant, you may want to contact some of the Christian pregnancy support agencies. People who will be able to love and support you from a Christian perspective. Maybe they can even help you with telling your parents.

Stay strong, and know we will pray for you -
 
Don’t be afraid.

Don’t worry about your parents.

Don’t worry about God, who loves you unconditionally of an eternal, infinite love.

Take a deep breath, know that we love you and that the saints of the Church Triumphant pray for you.

Relax and simply go and talk to your confessor, who will greatly assist you, no matter what.

And remember: everything will be fine, because Christ is in your heart, and He never allows anything that we cannot overcome hand in hand with Him.

May Our Lady keep you under her mantle and obtain for you all graces from her divine Son.
 
Thank you everyone so much for all your kind words. I am so grateful to hear just a little bit of kindness right now. Please continue to pray for me as I go through this. I went to RCIA with my roommate tonight, who is converting, and feel much more at peace… even if I do end up being pregnant, it must be God’s will for me.
My cousin was 19 years old and found herself pregnant. The father of the child abandoned her, her parents pressured her to abort but she courageously committed to her child and took responsibility for her choices. After she gave birth her parents provided her with support. Her daughter is one of the most beautiful and spirited little girls I have ever met and a blessing to everyone. My cousin, 6 years later, is now in a stable relationship with a supportive man and went on to have another baby. Her life is truly blessed.
Click to expand...
I found this particularly comforting; thank you Lady Love… maybe my life won’t end up ruined after all. 🙂
 
megan0913 said:
Thank you everyone so much for all your kind words. I am so grateful to hear just a little bit of kindness right now. Please continue to pray for me as I go through this. I went to RCIA with my roommate tonight, who is converting, and feel much more at peace… even if I do end up being pregnant, it must be God’s will for me.

I found this particularly comforting; thank you Lady Love… maybe my life won’t end up ruined after all. 🙂
Click to expand...
Praying for you too. Have hope! 🙂
 
Megan, dear, you are a sinner who has fallen short of the glory of the Lord. Meaning just like all the rest of us. You cannot live up to these high ideals we are called to without the grace of God. Perhaps you have relied on yourself too much. As we all do, all too often, practically all the time. With God’s help you can rely more on Him.

Do not think its just you alone who has failed. Its not all about your willpower. There is a mighty spiritual battle raging around all of us. That’s the reality. “We fight not against flesh and blood but powers and principalities”.

So now you are either pregnant or you are not. Either way, worrying about it won’t change a thing; it will only hurt you. God who loves us so much asks us again and again not to be anxious because He loves us so much and He knows how anxiety hurts us. So ask Him, in your little troubled voice, which He will hear, for his Peace, a Peace that passes all understanding. Not the peace not as the world gives - that kind of peace makes perfect sense, when all is right with your world, but a peace in the midst of things going not at all as planned or as you want. Then you need Supernatural Peace that makes no sense. And God gives that in abundance freely when you ask Him. And I ask Him with you.

*Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, do I give unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, nor let it be afraid. *
 
I hope the best for you! I also am just one decision away from being in your same situation,
Just don’t let one wrong decision go any further than this, do not try to hide the consequence of a wrong decision with another wrong decision!
It will all work out! You are in my prayers!
 
Em_in_FL said:
Be at peace. 🙂
First off… consider going to confession - you’ll feel better. And… stop sleeping with the guy! :o
Then, take a pregnancy test. Best to know - you’ll need to take vitamins and see a doctor. 🙂
Get through those moments FIRST… then go home, tell your parents. Tell them you’ve messed up and you want to do the right thing.
Holy, devout parents will do nothing more than embrace you and look to the future together.

Be at peace.
Click to expand...
So much wonderful advice in this thread. We’ve all made mistakes but God’s mercy is so much bigger than anything we can do!

If you are pregnant and you’re in Central New York, I’d be happy to be your doula free of charge. Praying for you now! :hug1:
 
((((Megan)))), remember sweet heart, no matter what you do, there isn’t a sin that is greater then one drop of blood that our lord shred for us. Trust in his Mercy. Repent, go see a priest and if you are pregnant, pray God to help you to carry on with this. Choose abstinence until you find someone that is trust worthy to marry.

All will be well, pray Mother Mary, she will help you in so many ways.

You are very very loved!

Blessings to you!
 
Take pregnancy test, right away. If you are not, then consider this your wake up call to stop all contact with this guy NOW; if you continue sleeping with him, sooner or later you will end up pregnant. If you are, then tell your parents. There will most likely be shocked disapproval at first (this is to be expected, stay calm and let them have their reaction), then they will get past that and give you the support you will need in the coming months. It goes without saying that you need to go to confession (you should have gone months ago) at the first opportunity, like this weekend. The priest will not judge you and can give you some helpfuly advice on your situation. Things like this happen and God always has an amazing way of working it all out! :hug3:
 
Continuing to pray for you, Megan.
Please keep us updated here… we will all be holding you tightly in prayer! 🙂
 
Definitely Confession. It’s hard because the devil will fight tooth and nail to keep you away, telling you things to make you worry and keep you from going–from “you’re not sorry enough,” to, “God won’t forgive you because you keep making the same mistake over and over.” See these for what they are:* LIES* meant to keep you from Confession. The devil knows that you’ll receive graces in Confession that will help you be stronger and fight him off, and he wants to prevent that!

Ask St. Michael the Archangel to protect you from these attacks. When you notice these thoughts in your head, make the sign of the cross and be reminded that you are deeply loved. Remember the Prodigal Son–you will be welcomed back by your loving Father! Read the stories of some of the Saints to inspire you.

We often choose sin when we fear something–like maybe losing an opportunity to be loved, even though it’s a guy that we know is not good for us, who doesn’t love us. We want to be loved so much that we may give in to something that is a distortion of love, a bad imitation of love–but we overlook the obvious because we want love so badly.

And then the devil works to make our sin appear insurmountable, unforgiveable. He will fill your head with lies meant to lead you away from where you need to be. He wants you to feel unworthy of respect, unworthy of being truly loved, so that you will make more bad choices out of fear and hopelessness. Satan wants you to give up–but you are stronger than that, and with God’s help, you will get through this.

Don’t stand alone against evil. Get to Confession, and get help whenever needed–especially from God, but also from friends, family, the Church, a spiritual advisor, etc. Pray, pray, and pray some more. Spend time in Adoration if at all possible, and listen while you’re there. I will also pray for you!

On the practical side, you need a plan to help you avoid sinning again. Ask a friend to help you be accountable–when you feel tempted to hang out with this guy, call your friend and hang out with her (or just talk on the phone), instead. If you know that he will be somewhere you cannot avoid him, try to take your friend with you for support and encouragement, or at least make sure you stick with a group–don’t be alone with him, nor with him in a group that encourages the wrong behavior. If you find that certain times of the week or day are more difficult than others for you to avoid him, make yourself scarce and/or busy or fill that time with something else so that you are less tempted.

The temporary good feelings of sex don’t last (as you have experienced), but it’s hard to remember that when a guy is paying you attention and kissing you and making you feel attractive and accepted… so the best defense is to avoid ALL of that, and avoid giving yourself any opportunity to stumble in the first place. Have a plan. And pray. You CAN get through this. 👍

And remember: You are not alone!
 
TheRealJuliane said:
#1, Go to confession immediately. You will feel so much better afterward and it will give you the grace to deal with #2 and #3 as well.

#2, I know that you may not really want to know, but do go and get a pregnancy test, they are very good these days and can give you a result quite early on.

#3, Whatever you are doing with this guy, such as drinking and being alone with him, stop doing it. You’re taking a big risk by engaging in sexual activity with him, and you know that. So just stop it, tell him you can’t go on this way.

#4, Learn from this mistake.

:grouphug::hug1:
Click to expand...
Good advice.

The people with kids here know way more than me; however, I would think your parents would love you no matter what, and will walk with you through this.

I can only add that getting to confession, spending time with God daily (don’t miss days), and not placing yourself in risky situations is key to resisting temptation.

The daily “three Hail Marys” – asking the Mother of Jesus to pray for you to have the gift of purity is effective as part of a daily practice.

Often, when we make a mistake, we drift away from God and the Church because we fear being judged. In reality, this is when we need God the most because we need Him to get through the tough times.
 
Hi everyone. GREAT news – I finally called my mom today in a state of severe emotional stress before I had even taken a pregnancy test. She talked me through the whole thing and told me she loved me either way. Also, I’m NOT pregnant; I even started my period today. I’m going to confession tomorrow at the earliest time I can. Thanks SO much to everyone who replied – I needed this push to get me to do the right thing. :grouphug: :blessyou:
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top