Alternative to Confession

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I travel 2 hours for Confession. You mentioned you were phoning a parish farther away, that might be your best bet. Good luck!

There are no alternatives.
 
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Experienced priests have ways of moving people along quickly or will just cut them off after 5 minutes. I feel your pain if this is happening weekly and the priest isn’t doing anything.
 
KevinK said:
Not before?
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Sin can be forgiven before sacramental confession for venial sins, or for mortal sins even, where the contrition is perfect, but it is conditional. It still requires the personal confession where not morally impossible.

Catechism
1452 When it arises from a love by which God is loved above all else, contrition is called “perfect” (contrition of charity). Such contrition remits venial sins; it also obtains forgiveness of mortal sins if it includes the firm resolution to have recourse to sacramental confession as soon as possible. 51

1453 The contrition called “imperfect” (or “attrition”) is also a gift of God, a prompting of the Holy Spirit. It is born of the consideration of sin’s ugliness or the fear of eternal damnation and the other penalties threatening the sinner (contrition of fear). Such a stirring of conscience can initiate an interior process which, under the prompting of grace, will be brought to completion by sacramental absolution. By itself however, imperfect contrition cannot obtain the forgiveness of grave sins, but it disposes one to obtain forgiveness in the sacrament of Penance. 52
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OH GEEZ. I meant to say FOR CONFESSION! I need to edit that!!! Holy moly!

PS: Pregnancy brain strikes!!!
 
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ZMystiCat said:
ou could try making an appointment with the priest, though you will lose you anonymity in that case if it’s really important to you.
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It is very possible to remain anonymous with an appointment.

You call and request the next available time for a confession appointment, you say “I wish to remain anonymous, I will meet you in the Confessional”. The priest will then be in the confessional 10/15 minutes before your scheduled time. You come in, kneel behind the screen and confess.
 
Just as an aside, I have never seen a priest be early for any appointment. They always arrive PRECISELY when they mean to. 😉 Hahahahaha. But seriously… this sounds so awesome but I would never trust our local priests to do it. Maybe OP’s priests are a little more reliable?
 
LOL, sorry man, this comment just made me laugh.

Yes, I would love to go in there and tell them a thing or two about how people’s time can’t be wasted (that’s corporate me), but then I would have to include in my confession, “sorry Father, I lost it, again.” (that’s Christian me). 😂

For now, I am still trying to practice gentleness and kindness 😄 (and researching alternative locations and schedules). Let’s see where it gets me.
 
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I’ve gone to “ad-hoc” confessions by just asking the priest about 20 minutes before mass, and most of the time they will either oblige right away or ask you to wait till after mass.
 
AlbertDerGrosse said:
This is just downright rude. You’ve done your due diligence and a priest is flaking on you . It’s one thing if a priest is stretched thin for time and just can’t accommodate an “on the fly” confession right before or after a Mass, or if an emergency came up and the scheduled confession times had to be canceled, but here a priest is making an appointment and then just not showing up.

I would show my disappointment in one of two ways: I’d either show up unannounced at the rectory and demand that my confession be heard after being canceled and flaked on, or I’d leave a little note in the offertory that said something along the lines of “I’ll donate to the parish when the priests around here get their act together and keep their word/commitments .” Yes, that’s passive aggressive as heck, but so be it. It doesn’t sound like you have many other options.
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I really like how Confession is done or was done, in a nearby parish (not mine). I dont know for sure if they’re still doing this but they have a scheduled time before Mass, but then will continue to hear more Confessions after Mass so everybody gets their turn.
 
AlbertDerGrosse said:
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Tis_Bearself:
In my case, it’s always some benign-looking little old lady or man who eventually shuffles out. Maybe they haven’t been to confession in 30 years or something 🙂
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Or they wasted an inordinate amount of time giving unsolicited details about their life completely irrelevant to their actual sins, and in so doing made it nearly impossible for anyone else to avail themselves of the Sacrament.

I try really hard to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, but this is one of my Catholic bugbears. There’s one older gentleman who is notoriously bad about it. It doesn’t matter how early I make it to the Saturday Reconciliation slot he’s already there waiting in line… every single week. The time slot is only 30 minutes and he regularly spends up to 15-20 minutes in there. Every. Single. Week! I’ve skipped my lunch hour on the weekdays to rush to the Cathedral and have my confession heard at their daily time slot at noon… just to find that same retired man first in line!
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That’s so annoying and inconsiderate! As an old and retired person he presumably has the time to make these long confessions and also to get in line very early before, and just wait, while repeatedly pushing out others.

I know one older lady who frequently makes long confessions. She’s a very sweet person and I can’t imagine what takes so long, but she also makes a point of putting herself at the end of the line.

I remember when I was a parent with children that confession had to be squeezed into a busy Saturday, along with a myriad other things, so it was turn up at 5:10 pm, in a 5:00 to 5:20 slot, and hope for the best.

“Be brief, be blunt, be gone” is a great rule of thumb.

To the OP, a couple of comments:
  • I really sympathise with your frustration at churches not being open in the designated confession time, and priests not turning up for appointments.
  • I have encountered a few churches like these, where confession “dies off”, with few people (or no people) attending in the designated time. There was one neighbouring parish I used to go to for confession and I was always the only one there. Eventually the priests stop turning up, even though the confession time was still promulgated. On the other hand, in parishes where confession is well attended the priests also turn up reliably.
  • Are you within reasonable distance of a Cathedral? Most Cathedrals have multiple confession times during the week (say, twice a day, six days per week). This might be your best option. Try to be early, if possible, as these confessions can vary greatly between overly busy, or just “walk in”.
  • If you are not near a Cathedral, then just keep trying different parishes, until you find one where the confession is well attended and the time slot is reliable. Once you’ve found it, you can keep going.
  • As others have said, don’t worry about forgetting sins. Just do your best at the time, with what you remember. That’s all that’s required.
 
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AlbertDerGrosse said:
You could try making an appointment with the priest
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I saw that, which is why everything after the suggestion to make an appointment was based on the assumption that the priest would again just say to come during normal Confession time.
TheLittleLady said:
It is very possible to remain anonymous with an appointment.
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I guess it depends on how appointments are handled. As far as I know, appointments at my parish generally mean meeting the priest in his office, but that may have just been because I was making an appointment for first Confession.
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KevinK said:
Just asking if your sins are forgiven when you ask God. Seems simple yes or no. I am here to learn.
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If you go to Confession with sincere contrition and confess all mortal sins you can remember then your sins are forgiven and you receive absolution.
If you sin mortally and are asking if simply sitting at home of wherever as ask for forgiveness then that is it that is Protestant thinking which is wrong.
If it were that easy why would I have converted from the Methodist Church to the Catholic Faith.
 
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Funny you should ask.Some people who would need to go to confession admit they never go. They brag how they haven’t gone to church in years and that they will someday figure it all out and go to church, but it is not really high priority at the present.

It sounds as if they think they will live forever and have forever to decide to try to be reconciled to God.
 
I would check around for other parishes in your area and see when they offer Confession. Keep calling the church you’ve been trying at and if possible, talk to the priest himself in person or on the phone and schedule a private confession time if there is no other way for Confession at the regular time.
Explain to him what has been going on too so he’s aware that you’ve been trying and that something is wrong. If it’s scheduled, there should be Confession unless cancelled!

St. John Vianney and St. Padre Pio, please pray for @kgmlg to get to Confession!
 
I know! Isn’t that a shame though!

I mean, I am not just talking about me, cause worse comes to worst, I can always travel an hour or two and get myself to a cathedral if it is really urgent. But what about those people lost out in the middle of no-where? They could organise a video-com confessionary or something! I am sure God’s blessings can go through the “wires”! 🙂

It’s a great idea I think…with hurdles to overcome, but somebody could organise something official.
 
I like to tell the priest how many people are in line after me, after he hears my confession. It is a matter of charity not to unnecessarily monopolize the priest’s time during confession, it’s selfish & rude, and if you think you’re going to be a while, go early or make an appointment unless it’s a dire emergency. Confession isn’t therapy, it’s a sacrament.

If a person has examined their conscience, named sins in kind and number, it shouldn’t take them so long - 10 minutes tops is plenty of time.

Also, I think the priest needs to set some limits on how long a person is in that confessional. However, the priest in that confessional is in persona Christi.

Confession needs to be face to face, too.

Am very sorry it’s so hard for you to even find a place that’s having actual confessions. Is another reason for us to pray for vocations, for more good and holy priests.

Sometimes I wonder if we all realize what a great gift God has given us through this sacrament.

Also, have you considered informing the bishop that there are confession times being published but the priests aren’t showing up?

My two cents…
 
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I don’t want to go “aggressive” yet. 🙂 This is a really small place, with I think only 4 priests (3 of which are reaaaaaallllllyyyyyy old) to serve about 70,000 people (about only 1% practicing Catholics though). So I do understand everyone is busy.

I am giving myself a few more days to see if I can get one locally, by next week, off I go to a bigger city in search of a cathedral. Surely…

Edit: Yep, the universe is blocking me. Even the nearest Cathedral (1.5 hours away) does not answer the phone! Sigh…
 
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Canon law guarantees you the right to an anonymous confession, for your first, your 101st or your last confession.
 
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