It’s a bit of both, I definitely think many Catholic teachings in particular about divorce and sex go against human nature and make life unnecessarily painful for many people.
The Church’s teaching, as well as natural human reasoning, would say that sex unites people in a bond that simply can’t just go away through a break-up or a divorce. This is what is against nature, the thought that humans can engage in sexual unity and then just move on to the next partner, as a simple way to gain some temporary pleasure. This is what makes life unnecessarily painful. As Scott Hahn said “Sex isn’t good, it isn’t great, it’s sacred, and it must be treated as such.” Those who don’t go along with the Church’s teachings on sex and divorce are not any less hurt by these abuses. It’s a natural fact, not a strict teaching. Sex in the wrong context IS painful, IS destructive.
I think the doctrine of hell is very unjust, and that not even the worst of us deserve to be punished infinitely.
Hell is literally the absence of God. If there is a God who loves us, who has revealed Himself to us, and we reject His love, that is, do not live a life of love, then we voluntarily separate ourselves from Him. Scott Hahn again has a wonderful explanation on the justice and necessity of hell in a collection of talks called “Why the Hell?” I very much suggest you read some of Scott Hahn’s work, he has a beautiful way of explaining the truth and practicality of many of the things you are having a problem with. He has done wonders for my skeptical mind.
I am also a woman, and I have always felt that the language and structure of the Church is a man’s world. Even God and Jesus are male (or at least described in male terms). That has always made me felt left out.
The one who was chosen to be stainless, to carry God Himself into this world, was a woman. Mary is most honored as first among all the saints. Christianity brought women a good deal of honor and respect at a time when they had none. Yes, Christ was a man, as are the priests who model Him, but this does not make them superior to women by any means. Remember, Christ came to serve the people, not dominate them. In the same way, priests are servants of the people, they do not dominate.
But on a more fundamental level, I have trouble believing even in a deistic God. It’s very hard for me to believe that God actually revealed himself first to the Jewish tribe and then in the person of Jesus.
I don’t see myself ever thinking that the Old Testament is anything other than the thoughts of a warring desert tribe, and I don’t even think there is enough evidence to believe that Jesus was a real person as opposed to a legend like many other religious figures (say Hercules). And even if Jesus was a real person, there are too many problems in New Testament writings (like authorship, contradictions, the time they were written, gospels and writings not included in the official Bible) for me to be convinced that they accurately represent Jesus as he was.
I don’t believe that there is such a thing as a soul, and think that all the evidence overwhelmingly suggests that everything we are is generated by the brain, and once that’s gone, so are we.
I think it’s very hard or impossible to reconcile the idea of Original Sin with gradual evolution from previous, not-quite-human, organisms. I don’t think we could have originated from 2 first parents.
I would say I am pretty far gone, but I used to be a very faithful Catholic who prayed the rosary daily and so on, and still feel some connection with the faith for that reason.
For these very fundamental (and understandable) issues, I would very much recommend “Mere Christianity” by C.S. Lewis. I can completely relate to these objections, I shared many of them not too long ago. There are logical and very true answers to EVERY ONE of them. You are not alone in these doubts, and you will not be the first one who God shows the answers to

Just for the record, even the biggest skeptics could not seriously believe that Jesus was not a real, live miracle worker. We have historical accounts even from non-Christian writers (Flavius Josephus, a Jew, wrote of Jesus and His works, and he was a contemporary). The disciples who wrote these scriptures and the men who followed them were martyred to protect them, surely you don’t believe men would die to protect their own lie?
The truth is out there, and the truth is strong. May the Holy Spirit help you, may you be guided home. I too will be praying for you, my friend.
Peace, love and blessings,
Frank