Am i a horrible person

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Trap_344 said:
I honestly don’t think I’m capable of perfect contrition
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Perfect contrition is like any virtue (humility, love, purity…) - it will never come easily or quickly, and we cannot obtain it by ourselves, we can only obtain it through God. It takes time, great effort and lots of prayer, but don’t let that stop you! Nothing worth having is easy.

We are all called to be Saints, and we are all capable of becoming Saints! We must simply have the burning desire to do only what is good and what is pleasing to God. We must be “sinners who keep trying”. When we fall, (which we will, because of our Original Sin), we must simply see our failings as proof that we desperately need God, and then get back up, repent, and do good again.

So never, ever give up in your struggle for purity, perfection, and perfect contrition! Just because these things are hard to get, doesn’t mean that they are impossible! Anything is possible with God, we have to just ask and keep on asking, try and keep on trying, pray and keep on praying, despite all of the setbacks. If you do this, God will see that you are sincere in your desire to be good, and He will reward you.

Pray daily for perfect contrition (and all the other graces you desire) with a sincere heart, and God will give you what you want and need. Here is a prayer for perfect contrition:

My God, give me true sorrow for having offended You. I must come to You for it. I cannot get it by myself. But I know You want to give it to me more than I want to have it. I know there is nothing You are so pleased to give. You tell me to ask and I shall receive, to seek and I shall find, to knock and it shall be opened to me. I am asking, seeking, knocking now. Give me what I want— perfect contrition for all my sins, sorrow for them because they have offended You who are so good. Give me what I ask, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

You are not a horrible person, you are a beloved, valuable, irreplaceable child of God. The fact that you feel bad for what you’ve done, is a sign that God is working in you to do great things. Keep going and never ever give up in your struggle for goodness. You are in my prayers, God bless you.
 
“If you say the Rosary faithfully until death, I do assure you that, in spite of the gravity of your sins you shall receive a never-fading crown of glory. Even if you are on the brink of damnation, even if you have one foot in hell, even if you have sold your soul to the devil as sorcerers do who practise black magic, and even if you are a heretic as obstinate as a devil, sooner or later you will be converted and will amend your life and will save your soul, if– and mark well what I say– if you say the Holy Rosary devoutly every day until death for the purpose of knowing the truth and obtaining contrition and pardon for your sins.”

– St. Louis De Montfort

If you want to quit your porn addiction start praying the rosary, there is no problem that can’t be solved by the holy rosary

go onto youtube and pray along, only takes 15 minutes a day, it will change your life i promise
 
Well, Trap, I agree with many of the other posts in response to your dilemma; you are not much different than I was at your age and I see little that you will not eventually outgrow, given your desire to do so.

In my experience, the biggest obstacle between we humans and our magnificent creator is not the mistakes we make, but the guilt which consumes us afterward. We can’t even stop feeling shame over one error when we go ahead and commit another, possibly the same one over and over. God knows very well what he created, including the raging hormones which accompany our physical growth and our inability to cope with many of them at an early age. My advice is simply to learn to forgive yourself when you fall, make as great an effort as you can at making inroads to what you wish to overcome, and live one day at a time.

Father Timothy Gallagher speaks well of these things and teaches that when tempted, specifically with online addictions, overcoming means beginning with just not doing it “right now”. If we go ahead and do it ten minutes from now, we have still actually made some progress. Never expect ingrained habits to just vanish. Our humanity is a struggle which must be dealt with everyday. We are all in this together.

Blessings to you, my friend.
-CW
 
Hi there. I’m also fourteen. Like you, i have had (and still struggle with) a porn addiction. It seems like an everlasting loop of darkness and hopeless but it isn’t. I’ll suggest some things in a bit. Secondly, Yes, you can be saved (although not forgiven fully) of mortal sin. Confession by desire is when a person who is not part of the Church, or is unable to simply attend confession, is truly sorry for their sins, and wishes to be able to go to confession. This is not to say that you can receive communion or any of the sacraments, but simply if you were to die today, you would not go to Hell. Now there are ways to learn more about the faith. Reaching out here on the forums is a good start, but talking to any Catholic friends, or reaching out to your local church/priests is also a good thing to do. Since you said confession is not an option at the moment, im guessing that transportation isn’t the easiest. If that is the case, then like i said, Catholic friends, the forums, and other sources are a great benefit to learning more about the faith. Now back to the porn/masturbation addiction, there are several ways I have combated this. 1.Figure out what your patterns are. Find where in your day you are committing these sins, and where you may be committing them. Such as sitting idle in bed on your phone, or just general idleness is what will really get you. Find these times of the day and occupy them with better things, like sports, chores, homework, going to the gym, picking up a new hobbie, etc. 2.Once you have filled these voids of time, identify WHY you want to give up porn/masturbation. Think hard about how it is affecting your life, and the everyday stress it gives you. If these are really a problem for you, the desire to overcome this sin will override your desire for it. 3. Pray. I know that it doesn’t seem like it helps, but it truly does. If you don’t ask God for the help to actually overcome this sin, it won’t happen. You can’t do it by yourself. 4. and finally, telling someone about it, like you did here on the forums, is a great solution. Just being able to get it all out can really help. I understand telling someone like a friend or family member can be uncomfortable, but having an accountability partner of some kind, can really make you stick to your promise. Anyways, hope this helps you, and don’t give up. It can end, and if you try your hardest it will.
 
You’re not a horrible person. The fact that you are so young yet acknowledge that you have done wrong and seek to amend and change your life is such a good and valuable thing and a great start.

You have many years ahead of you to learn about the Catholic faith, practice being strong and controlling your thoughts/body/emotions. It is possible to overcome lustful thoughts but you need to get control of it now while you are still young so you don’t keep that bad habit as an adult. Just think that if you start now, by the time you are an adult you’ll be a pro!

Prayers for you!
 
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