I am one of those women whom are learning about the whole husband and wife-submitting to your husbands “rule” that is stated in the Bible and whom hasn’t taken it too happily… I grew up with my father abusing my mother so I promised myself no matter what how many years of marriage or whatever I was not ever going to be like my mother, taking all that abuse with the excuse it’s the best for the children, while turning around and taking it out on those kids…Sorry ain’t happening here! Therefore when my exhusband started his abuse I put up with it, for a decade, I was stired, exhausted, humiliated, ruined, and destroyed morally, emotionally, mentally, physically, I don’t even know how in the world I made it out of there…Perhaps it wasn’t getting beat down like my mother got it, because the first time he raised his hand I raised it back, I wasn’t letting him have the best of me, yet he did…
Every chance my family could would tell me to leave him…We would move back and forth from his family to mine because we both needed someone because we weren’t finding it in each other…His deal was I was mistreating him because of my family and he kept mistreating me because that was his nature…So we fought a lot.
And every chance I was near my family I would move as soon as their controlling efforts started to take effect…
As a semi independent woman-I say semi because lately my family had been helping me, surgery and all- but before being a hard headed woman, I made sure I left my exhusand against everyone’s wishes…Then I met my soon to be future husband, I couldn’t stand their pressuring me into waiting till the children were adults to start dating again, I left…I did move close to be with the man I wanted to be with…Maybe wrong and terrible mother I may seem but the love for my children has never been taken from them, and they are always first…In a way I felt bad because I used this man as an excuse to leave my parent’s home, after I was divorced and single mom…I did tell him this, that this is how I felt but he didn’t think anything bad of it…
Is it wrong to move to a place for a man, perhaps, but at the time when you are in love man does rational go away and the love bug kicks in…I understand why the OP did what she did…And once the fire cools then the whole -regret- or second thoughts kick in…AND you are stuck with the WHAT IF? What if I hadn’t moved would he? What if I hadn’t moved would I have gotten the good job? What if??
Well it’s a bit too late for that, now it’s the present and the OP did what she felt was right…And even if it was a mistake to others or not, that was her choice, and she deserves respect for giving that change a try and so far succeeding…BUT at a bigger lost because she doesn’t have her dream job…BUT remember where you are at now is where GOD wants you to be, it may be a horrible place but it’s the trials that are put infront of you…And He’s there with you helping you every step of the way…
Now the big situation is this roommate thing? First of all for me that’s kind of I don’t know weird how 2 girls would look for 2 guys as roommates? My girlfriends, both single, would look for other girls to be roommates with, not guys, no matter how unsafe or safe they felt, they ended up getting 2 big dogs and paying a little extra to getting them trained to help them against any burglars etc…But 2 girls and 2 guys? That’s kind of weird even with the excuse to saving money??? I mean 3 girls and 1 guy roommate ok that’s still kind of iffy but hey it works you know?!
I wouldn’t want my fiance to save money by staying with 2 other girls…And I know he would have a fit knowing I had 2 male roommates unless they were best friends or brothers or family members… As innocent and as justifiable as it sounds, I just don’t see that as ok…
My brother had a girl roommate, they stayed together during college, I think 1 year, they had known each other for about 4 before then, high school years, and he did save some money. He was dating his 2nd girlfriend and they were going on 2 years… His roommate had gotten into a fight with her boyfriend, and needed comfort, as a gentleman my brother was there to hear her out…Well that hearing out ended up getting drunkness involved, my brother said he had 3 beers, not enough to catch a buzz but she over did it, with the crying and everything…Even his girlfriend heard her over the phone and she even told him, “wow she sounds terrible sounds like she needs a friend!” So he did just that was there for her until she threw up and he dragged her to bed, well in the middle of the night she crawls on his bed and well he says he literally had to throw her off of him, and she was in the action with him while he was asleep… He didn’t know how to explain it to his girlfriend so he tried the best he could, the girl even went and apologized to his girlfriend and she didn’t care she didn’t believe them and she dumped my brother…
I am not saying everyone does this, but like someone else stated the devil never sleeps and let me tell you things like this can happen unwanting nor unwillingly…like “Our Father” states, “lead us not into temptation and deliver us from evil!” Well why put yourself in a place of temptations? No matter how good those girls might be and no matter how great your fiance is, I don’t think it’s right…And I don’t think it’s ok…But again that’s just my personal opinion…
Hang in there and take care…keep praying for guidance, God bless!!!
, I get a little annoyed.)
Love is Patient
. He’s a good man, not an ogre.
