Am I Cheating????

[GhostMan]

Does a married actor in a play sin by playing a romantic role? No.

If that actor falls in love with his fellow player? Yes.

It’s not the medium, i.e. the roleplay, it’s what’s in your head and heart. Is the character a virtual copy of you, or is it an escape/pretend thing that is just fun? Only you know.

The fact you’re asking tells me a lot, though, and perhaps it’s not good for you. You may have detected something within yoursefl and just need to be reminded of what’s right.

 

[traillius]

Perhaps the real name of this thread should be " are my family and I all crazy… But I don’t want to self depricate ( sp?) I guess I am not sure what to fix first or even where to look

 

[Red_Meg]

Let’s approach it this way–does your wife know about it? How would she react if she did? Why don’t you ask her?

I’m with Scott. Just for a second-- imagine yourself typing whatever you would be typing as part of the “romance” aspect of this RPG-- whatever you would be saying to this virtual woman created by some real person somewhere IRL. If your wife was sitting right next to you at the computer, watching all this, would she be cool with whatever you are saying to/doing with this virtual woman?

If that question makes you cringe at all, then you’ve crossed a line. Uncross it immediately.

Margaret

 

[PBP]

It would not be fair to tell only part of the story. so I can get full advice here is a synopsis

1. I have bordered on actual straying in rl
2. I have a hard time resisting sexual sin
3. my wife had a stroke and has not full recovered
4. we both are on medications for anxiety and depression
5. She is on a total of 9 meds and is tired a majority
6. Our * ahem * connection is not frequent or satisfying enough
7. I have sleep apnea
   There are others but I will stop there for now.
   in short : whole life out of balance, mine, wife’s, our son’s

We are very similar. Hopefully you are controlling the sleep apnea which has quite a lot to do with the anxiety and such. You must work on a conversion of your heart to help with control of your desire of what is not healthy. Remember when Peter took his eyes off Jesus is when he began to sink in the water. Jesus was there and reached out to him and pulled him up. Allow Jesus to pull you up. Dont set yourself up for failure. Avoid the things and persons which you know make your desire lust for cheap satisfaction.

 

[traillius]

Thank you all for contributing. This has been most enlightening. God bless us all friends.
T-

 

[newbetx]

I am mainly concerned with the moral aspect. I only do this roleplaying for one hour 3 days a week late in the evening.

you bring up an interesting question… I myself would not go here. I’d rather spend time with my DW…

Since this is not a performance like in a theater, I would say it is wrong for you to spend your time this way. It may be fun, but it would be like going out wiht the guys and pretending to be single and flirting. While it does not directly affect your wife who is not there, it may affect your relationship, eventually.

Now, if this is “practice” for your profession as an actor, then it might be OK… But really your wife needs to be really OK with that, too.

 

[newbetx]

Perhaps the real name of this thread should be " are my family and I all crazy… But I don’t want to self depricate ( sp?) I guess I am not sure what to fix first or even where to look

OK. now that I have read more… I have a suggestion for you… Spend your hours reading Theology of the Body for Beginners. I think it will bring your life as it is today into proper perspective.

I once thought that given the circumstances you have in your life, I could be prone to cheating. Your circumstances are really tough right now, and I understand that. Get off line. Get the book. Get to prayer. You and your wife will be really glad you did. :yup:

 

[DJgang]

Thank you all for contributing. This has been most enlightening. God bless us all friends.
T-

T - you have a lot of stress in your life and you are trying to escape.

I think you just got a God Slap today. (see my blog, hahaha!)

I’m not in your shoes, but I pray that you and your wife can connect emotionally right now. Some of the things that you mention, I’ve mentioned to my own husband…what if…what if…what if…I just couldn’t do THAT! I’ve asked my husband what would he do…

Marriage is a sacrament. God gave us this sacrament for these moments in our life…to protect us! Yes, marriage is a protection.

I’ve had an emotional affair. I’ve confessed it. My husband knows. T - don’t go there! You think your mind is messed up NOW, your mind will really be messed up once you start living in this sin.

I will pray for you and your wife. I think that you’ve done right by coming here and being honest…may have been a God sent to you.

God bless!

 

[Pro-Life_Teen]

I don’t think that it is cheating, in a general sense. Depends on how hardcore the RP is, but light romance shouldn’t be cheating. Then every romantic comedy you watch, every writer of romance novels [tasteful ones, not pure smut] are cheaters? Is the whole romance genre tainted, including old school Disney?

This is something that, as an RPer and a writer, I find… disturbing. I can easily separate the two, would it still be sinful? I have a male character who fancies a female character, but I’m not a lesbian. Neither is the ‘romance’ of the RP on any degree close to the love I have for my boyfriend. It’s a detached feeling, like empathizing with the character.

Watching a television show with any form of romance is cheating?

Are these 1st person RPs, or 3rd person with multiple characters? It’s a text-based RP, yes? They’re rather addicting and a passtime of many writers, as well as most general geeks.

But taking into considering all you listed above, you might be using this for more than play. There’s watching a romantic comedy, and there’s porn. Light romantic back-and-forth between characters I can understand, full-out sex scenes is really crossing the line.

 

[cecilia97]

hello,
Please don’t judge me, I just need straightforward honest advice.
If I online roleplay and that character has a romantic relationship with another character, am I cheating on my wife?

If it involves another person of the opposite sex and you would not feel comfortable telling your spouse about it, I’d call it cheating…real life or not.

 

[CarrieH]

I am mainly concerned with the moral aspect. I only do this roleplaying for one hour 3 days a week late in the evening.

So how would you feel if your wife were spending three hours a week role-playing a romantic involvement with someone else? Like you were being emotionally cheated-on, I’ll bet. There’s your answer. Knock this off and turn some of that emotional energy toward your wife. I know you both have some issues, but this isn’t going to help matters; if anything, it will just throw your life further out of balance. Good luck and God bless.

 

[mmyers]

Here’s an idea- let your wife read (see) it…she’ll tell you.

 

[AHapka]

Even if it’s not cheating, it’s a serious occasion of sin. And it will lead to sin if left unchecked.

You have mentioned you have lust temptations. You have bordered on straying in real life.

Take it from someone who has fallen online in the past, many conversations are started seemingly “innocent.” You see, Satan knows that you won’t go full boat right away. So there’s just a little temptation to “flirt.” Then the flirting turns into let’s talk a little more about each other’s likes and such…oh, we are not talking about sex with each other, but just what we like with who we have sex with. Then…you know where it ends.

Cut the cord completely. I haven’t IM’ed in a long time, and it hasn’t hurt me in the least. If you really want to go the extra step to be safe, give your wife all of your passwords (as I have). Then would you still do the role play?

 

[THutch04]

I won’t say you’re definitely cheating, but it’s not a wise thing to be doing. Generally if you have to ask about something like that, it’s probably something to refrain from doing. Also, is this something that you could freely share with your wife? Would you be able to tell her you do this without any hesitation? If it isn’t, then I think you should stop. Instead maybe you could ask yourself why you want to create a character that has a romantic relationship instead of spending time with your wife (forgive me if you’ve already done that, I admit I haven’t read through all of the replies).

 

[AmberDale]

I am not sure. it is a game online. Sorta like D&D. Where people assume the roll of a character, separate name etc. Acting. social interaction as well fantasy combat> How can I know where the line is. * confused *

Do you mean like WoW or GW?? If so, then I’d say no. I play GW and in no way is there any sexual roleplaying there. It’s just a game where you get online, form a guild and go kill evil (in a nutshell).

Now if you are flirting in the text boxes, or elluding to sexual roleplaying, then yes. That’s a form of cheating and I DON’T suggest it.

 

[AmberDale]

I am mainly concerned with the moral aspect. I only do this roleplaying for one hour 3 days a week late in the evening.

My husband and I actually play GW together. So if your game is WoW or GW (or something similar) maybe your wife would like to play? I’m a gamer, and proud of that! My husband is also, we work quite well together.

 

[Altesse]

hello,
Please don’t judge me, I just need straightforward honest advice.
If I online roleplay and that character has a romantic relationship with another character, am I cheating on my wife?

Yes. You are always YOU, with all of your responsibilities and relationships even when “pretending” to be someone else.

 

[hasikelee]

Are you playing SIMS?

If you are sexually exciting yourself or find yourself feeling lustful, that would be pretty telltale.

Why would you need to do sexual things with someone else online?

 

[AmberDale]

Are you playing SIMS?

I don’t “think” they have a SIMS online, though they might. The new SIMS2 though has “sexual” things to it, so I stopped playing that.

 

[tapiocapudding]

My DH and I play WOW together and he has some online friends who are girls. I have no problem with him chatting or harmless mild flirtation but if he was having a romantic relationship through private messages I would consider that cheating. Heck, I know people who have started real relationships that way! I’m not sure it’s cheating, but why don’t you ask your wife what she thinks? Have her observe the roleplaying and tell you if it’s okay.