Am I Condemned?

[Prodigal_Dragon]

Hello,

I am a 27 year-old man. I have been very conflicted, and was involved in RCIA [never completed] and was, for a brief period, a catechumen in the Orthodox Church. Lately, over the last four or five months, I have developed a hatred for Christianity . . . and Friday morning I went to Mass and received Communion. I took the very Body of Christ on my tongue, knowing that I was unworthy–I have, until recently, been living in sin with a woman who is a witch. I don’t know why I decided to partake, I just did . . . and promptly walked out.

I don’t know what to do now. I know I need to get back into RCIA, but the parish I went to Friday is very close to my home, but it is small and has just one priest. How can I tell this priest how I have been living and expect to be admitted to RCIA at this new [to me] parish?

Please pray for me . . . I am afraid to pray myself, ashamed to ask the Blessed Mother for Her intercession, afraid to talk to Jesus . . . in my hatred, I threw a Rosary and Crucifix into the garbage with contempt. I am undergoing treatment for Bipolar Disorder, but I will not blame my actions on that. I want to pray the Chaplet of Divine Mercy . . . perhaps Jesus will forgive me, and save me, if only by the skin of my teeth.

Regards,
James

 

[Epsilon_Omega]

I am definately not worthy to answer this, but her goes nothing. God is wrathful, but he also forgives, many times over. There has been a couple times, where I sinned and felt very unworthy to receive Jesus, but I am too afraid not to because I love communion. The thing about being a sinner is that sometimes you get into the mindset that whatever you did was the end of the world and that you can never be forgiven. I have been through that a couple times, but just ask god for forgiveness, go to confession and then receive Jesus again. It feels really great to have the clean slate.

Most priests don’t judge. They are more happy that you are coming back to the faith and trying to get help then they are judgemental on you. I am not really qualified to help you, just an 18 year old kid that knows nothing of the world. Hmm… The first thing I can say is get back into the good habit of praying. At first it doesn’t have to be that complex of a prayer. Something like “mary and jesus please intercede in my life, I don’t like who I have become.” Also pray the 15 prayers given to St. Bridget… cfht.hawaii.edu/~lwells/happiness.html I don’t think the church truly believes in the Promises along with the prayers, but those don’t matter… The prayers are so powerful. My life changed the day after I first said them.

I am glad you are taking the steps to get back into faith. I will try to pray the best I can for you, but I don’t consider myself very good at praying. Good luck with everything. Jesus will help, all you have to do is just ask.
~Gabe

 

[LilyM]

For starters - can you not confess anonymously behind a screen or grille? You have a right to, you know.

The priest won’t know who you are, most likely, unless you’ve been a regular penitent with him, and will certainly not let on even if he does recognise you.

And he will have heard plenty of as bad or worse sins than yours, trust me.

Try saying the Divine Mercy, and I’ll say one on your behalf as well, along with a decade of the Rosary. Remember how St Peter and most of the apostles betrayed and abandoned Our Lord and yet were forgiven and trusted by him to lead his church!

 

[runandsew]

Romans chapter 5 :8-9

But God shows his love for us in that while we were yet sinners Christ died for us.Since, therefore, we are now justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God.

Why don’t you reflect and pray on this verse.
It might help.

 

[puzzleannie]

Nobody is condemned until they have died in a state of unrepentent mortal sin, faced the Lord in the personal judgement and chosen, with the full knowledge that is granted in that moment of what it means, to willfully reject God, and such a one is condemned by his own choice. You are still alive, you are obviously repentent, so to whom should you go to say so except this priest who knows you? My friend, baptism remits this and all sin, if you are already baptized your first confession will restore you to the pristine state of soul you enjoyed at your baptism. How could you possible hesitate to turn around, do a 180, which is the meaning of conversion? Welcome home, and join the club, we are all in a state of continuing conversion–if we are honest.

 

[CatholicSwede]

Hatred for Our Lord, Our Lady and the Catholic Holy religion comes straight from the devil. You also state you are living in impurity with a witch no less - she may have cursed/hexed you. Your relationship with her has most assuredly led to a demonic infestation/oppresion for you. I highly recommend the books by the Vatican’s former lead exorcist, Father Amorth here:

amazon.com/Exorcist-Tells-His-Story/dp/0898707102/sr=8-1/qid=1165860151/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/002-2834818-5244862?ie=UTF8&s=books

This book is written by a very ** holy priest who has an excellent understanding of the effect of evil on one’s life. Take this hatred very seriously and seek help and conversion lest you end up in Hell beside this witch. You can save your soul, absolutely, but don’t count on “last minute repentance” or as you say “by the skin of my teeth” I would imagine many in Hell thought the same way. You can be forgiven, but you must seek it! I will also pray for you!

 

[ccfbob]

You are on the right path with these questions. Never give up. Jesus’s Mercy is a vast ocean and your sin is just a drop on that ocean. Go to His Mercy, flee evil influances however painful, make the best confessioon you can and pray as best as you can.

Our Mother and her Son truly know when you are trying. God supplies us all we need, just ask.

Start to say the Rosary, the devil hates it. Even if you only say 1 Hail Mary, do it! It is a start. Our Mother will lead you to Her Son.

Also, NEVER STOP PRAYING!!! Do not get discouraged. That is the evil one trying to get to you.

I will say a Divine Mercy Chaplet for you today.

God’s Love to you,
Bob

 

[water]

James,

God bless you! You have done the right right to come ask for help. God is Mercy. Jesus has died for us on the Cross, what else has He not done for us! Trust in His Mercy. In the Bible, He gave an example of the father welcoming His Lost Son, and another example of the shepherd went looking for the lost sheep.

Jesus loves you and He is happy that you are on your way back to Him. He is right next to you. Like many mothers, Virgin Mary is the most loving Mother of all. She welcomes you with all her heart.

You can call your priest and make an appointment to talk with him - One on One. He will be very happy to guide you.

James, the Devine Mercy Chaplet is a great prayer and so is the Rosary.

I keep you in my prayer

 

[gmarie21]

Hatred for Our Lord, Our Lady and the Catholic Holy religion comes straight from the devil. You also state you are living in impurity with a witch no less - she may have cursed/hexed you. Your relationship with her has most assuredly led to a demonic infestation/oppresion for you. I highly recommend the books by the Vatican’s former lead exorcist, Father Amorth here:

amazon.com/Exorcist-Tells-His-Story/dp/0898707102/sr=8-1/qid=1165860151/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/002-2834818-5244862?ie=UTF8&s=books

This book is written by a very ** holy priest who has an excellent understanding of the effect of evil on one’s life. Take this hatred very seriously and seek help and conversion lest you end up in Hell beside this witch. You can save your soul, absolutely, but don’t count on “last minute repentance” or as you say “by the skin of my teeth” I would imagine many in Hell thought the same way. You can be forgiven, but you must seek it! I will also pray for you!

Please get away from the woman you’re living with. You are not strong enough to even be entertaining, let alone, live with, a woman who is on Satan’s side. Run away and repent. Find a priest you trust and ask him to be your spiritual director. Even though you may be repulse, remember, nothing is impossible for God, even your change of heart and change of residency.

 

[wcknight]

There is no sin that can not be forgiven. Although the sin you may be guilty of is sacrilege, it too can be forgiiven. The fact that you are sorry for it is a huge first step. God’s mercy is infinite and He is always happy to welcome you back. Do not let fear keep you away.

What we should fear and rightly so, is living in sin. Be reconciled to God and His Church, you will be far happier for it. You are in our prayers.

 

[jmm08]

I am undergoing treatment for Bipolar Disorder, but I will not blame my actions on that. I want to pray the Chaplet of Divine Mercy . . . perhaps Jesus will forgive me, and save me, if only by the skin of my teeth.

Regards,
James

I’m not surprised to hear about the bipolar. Many of my best friends had mental illness including bipolar. In fact some of my close relatives have (or have had) severe mental illness difficulties (including involuntary commitments). For example, my sister has sometimes ripped Bibles. It has caused me much grief and sorrow, but I think I should accept that these are not really her actions. It is illness and God understands.

You say that you are undergoing treatment. You should mention these things to your psychiatrist as well as mention them to an understanding Priest. Tell the priest you are a psychiatric patient with bipolar. I think Priests all have some psychiatric training. Do not let guilt concerning your extreme actions bother you. Please go back and re-start RCIA. And please continue with your medical program.

Inside I know you may sometimes feel quite tortured. The medical help will help you and if you continue to seek God and go to Church, you will feel much better.

It may take time for the medicine to make you better. Tell your medical provider how you feel and whether you think you are in danger. When you do begin to feel better, I hope you will be less afraid to pray with other Christians, or be less afraid to have a crucifix or a rosary.

You left the witch, and the ideas you got from her should also soon leave. Stay away from that kind of thing because it will not help you. Don’t be overly worried about receiving Holy Communion inappropriately. You wouldn’t have done that if you were well. God knows how to take care of Himself, and it is most likely that no harm was done to the real you inside. I believe you are actually a very kind person inside. Even though other things seem to happen.

Continue to seek help and you will continue to receive help.

 

[TOP]

James,
My mother was bipolar and since her death , among other things, I have been diagnosed with clinical depression. My depression was so bad that I had psychosis from it. I understand what real despair can be like. Remember how deep the aybss of the Lords mercy is. We can’t even imagine it.I think that people with mental illness are very sensitive to the spiritual world and therefore can be a target for some nasty oppressions, making the problem seem worse. Don’t give in to it. Don’t loose hope. The Lord is close to the ill and very much wants you to reach out to Him. Yes, pray the divine mercy chaplet, but also just talk to the Lord, tell Him your concerns, maybe at adoration. My first adoration took months before I saw the real blessing in it. It was truly an amazing thing, I saw the Lords image in the glass of the montstrance, like it was frosted in the glass. I thought it was part of the design. Months later I saw it again and it was clear. Now I believe in the real presence in the Eucharist. Ask and you will be given, seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened. But you have to first ask, seek and knock. I’ll pray for you also, Tim

 

[francisca]

I took the very Body of Christ on my tongue, knowing that I was unworthy–I have, until recently, been living in sin with a woman who is a witch. I don’t know why I decided to partake, I just did . . . and promptly walked out.

James, you are not condemned. On the contrary, Jesus asks you to come to Him just as the way you are. Jesus does not come to save holy people, He comes to save sinners.

In the gospels are written about Jesus who touched and was touched by sinners. Some of these sinners got healed and become Jesus most faithful followers. When you touch God, God is the one to touch you, on purpose. The holy communion was not your will, but His. And because of this, you will be healed.

Do not believe in your works, but focus on God’s. People of the old testament was given the law. The law insists that “you cleanse yourself” before you can touch the ark, otherwise you will die. Righteousness according to our own work will condemn ourselves to death. But then God decide to come to you. He touches you : you can’t defile the holy communion, instead, it will make you holy, just as His will for you. Remember that He decided to send Jesus to this world. He did it on purpose (His will).

About bipolarity… psychology call it bipolar disorder. Whatever it is, you want to go to Jesus but the other desires the opposite. The other is oppressive, but Jesus is stronger than it, if you put your trust in Him (Jesus). This is where persevere in faith (trusting Jesus) will benefit you the most. Regardless your own works (no matter how bad), do not let go this faith : that JESUS want you to come to Him just AS YOU ARE. When you are with Him, you are surrounded by God’s fortress. If you look at yourself, you may fall from faith because looking at your own works. Your works may fail but your faith shall never. Your alliance with God (in Jesus) is the only reason why you are assured of victory-- over your bipolarity, first and then-- the greatest victory in this life. When this time comes, you will stop doing bad things. Instead you will do good things, just as God has prepared those good things for you to do since the beginning. He has prepared these things for you, so that you will be glorified together with Him.

 

[Karianne]

Please get away from the woman you’re living with. You are not strong enough to even be entertaining, let alone, live with, a woman who is on Satan’s side. Run away and repent. Find a priest you trust and ask him to be your spiritual director. Even though you may be repulse, remember, nothing is impossible for God, even your change of heart and change of residency.

He never made it clear if the woman was a good witch or a bad witch.
You can’t assume that a woman who identifies as a witch is on the side of Satan.
There’s a difference between Satanists and Wiccans.
It is very difficult to live with a person who has bi-polar disorder, and what’s he doing living with a woman he’s not married to regardless of her religion!?
He needs to either marry her or leave!

 

[tequilamac]

Hello,

I am a 27 year-old man. I have been very conflicted, and was involved in RCIA [never completed] and was, for a brief period, a catechumen in the Orthodox Church. Lately, over the last four or five months, I have developed a hatred for Christianity . . . and Friday morning I went to Mass and received Communion. I took the very Body of Christ on my tongue, knowing that I was unworthy–I have, until recently, been living in sin with a woman who is a witch. I don’t know why I decided to partake, I just did . . . and promptly walked out.

I don’t know what to do now. I know I need to get back into RCIA, but the parish I went to Friday is very close to my home, but it is small and has just one priest. How can I tell this priest how I have been living and expect to be admitted to RCIA at this new [to me] parish?

Please pray for me . . . I am afraid to pray myself, ashamed to ask the Blessed Mother for Her intercession, afraid to talk to Jesus . . . in my hatred, I threw a Rosary and Crucifix into the garbage with contempt. I am undergoing treatment for Bipolar Disorder, but I will not blame my actions on that. I want to pray the Chaplet of Divine Mercy . . . perhaps Jesus will forgive me, and save me, if only by the skin of my teeth.

Regards,
James

Bipolar Disorder is not a psychosis. So it cannot be blamed for your actions.

I wonder how long you want to continue putting God to the test?

 

[Karianne]

Hello,

I am a 27 year-old man. I have been very conflicted, and was involved in RCIA [never completed] and was, for a brief period, a catechumen in the Orthodox Church. Lately, over the last four or five months, I have developed a hatred for Christianity . . . and Friday morning I went to Mass and received Communion. I took the very Body of Christ on my tongue, knowing that I was unworthy–I have, until recently, been living in sin with a woman who is a witch. I don’t know why I decided to partake, I just did . . . and promptly walked out.

I don’t know what to do now. I know I need to get back into RCIA, but the parish I went to Friday is very close to my home, but it is small and has just one priest. How can I tell this priest how I have been living and expect to be admitted to RCIA at this new [to me] parish?

Please pray for me . . . I am afraid to pray myself, ashamed to ask the Blessed Mother for Her intercession, afraid to talk to Jesus . . . in my hatred, I threw a Rosary and Crucifix into the garbage with contempt. I am undergoing treatment for Bipolar Disorder, but I will not blame my actions on that. I want to pray the Chaplet of Divine Mercy . . . perhaps Jesus will forgive me, and save me, if only by the skin of my teeth.

Regards,
James

You may just be lonely.
Are you still living with the woman? You state that you no longer live in sin with her, but it’s not clear if she’s still in the picture.
A good psychiatrist can help you with medication.
Then try to get involved with parish activities, don’t worry, all the rest of the Catholics are sinners just like you!

 

[gmarie21]

He never made it clear if the woman was a good witch or a bad witch.
You can’t assume that a woman who identifies as a witch is on the side of Satan.
There’s a difference between Satanists and Wiccans.
It is very difficult to live with a person who has bi-polar disorder, and what’s he doing living with a woman he’s not married to regardless of her religion!?
He needs to either marry her or leave!

While witches may identify themselves as good or bad, the Catholic Church recognizes that witchcraft in all forms is evil. And I agree, why is he living with a woman he’s not SACRAMENTALLY married to?

 

[tequilamac]

While witches may identify themselves as good or bad, the Catholic Church recognizes that witchcraft in all forms is evil. And I agree, why is he living with a woman he’s not SACRAMENTALLY married to?

Perhaps because she is a bad witch as opposed to a good witch? Which begs the question of whiches- which is better the bad witch or the good witch? If we say she is a bad witch does that mean she has an evil bent to her actions or does it mean that she is merely incompetent as a witch, in which case, education might help. On the other hand, if we say she is a good witch, does this mean she is particularly adept at casting her spells and producing her potions? Perhaps the problem is we have not defined good witch as opposed to bad witch, therefore we do not know which is witch.

In any case, the poster can’t blame his actions on living with a witch whether or not she is competent in witchery.

1. He needs to stop putting God to the test period. His grilfriend may actually be in a better state than he.

 

[francisca]

He never made it clear if the woman was a good witch or a bad witch…
There’s a difference between Satanists and Wiccans.

There isn’t any difference between good witch and bad witch. Why? Because witchcraft develop “self power” to be used according the persons will. In Christianity we only use the power of The Holy Spirit. We don’t develop any power out of ourselves. In fact the more we die of self the better. Witchcraft walks towards the person’s pride and strength. Christianity walks to the opposite direction. Any form of witchcraft is idolatrous and adulterous philosophy.

It is very difficult to live with a person who has bi-polar disorder,

A witch will make sure her man sticks with her no matter what he wants. Witchcraft is oppressive to men’s freewill. The will of such spirit is against that of God’s freedom. Just as all spirits those not of God’s will oppress anyone they can oppress.

and what’s he doing living with a woman he’s not married to regardless of her religion!?
He needs to either marry her or leave!

I would say James is lucky that he has not marry her yet. It’s time to run away as fast as you can, James. Never marry a witch!

 

[DrewC]

Look at St. Paul the Apostle…he went around persecuting and killing Christians and God forgave him. Im not saying go out and kill people but God is a mercyful and loving God and he wants you to be a part of his Kingdom.
God Bless you I will be praying for you.