Am I overreacting and worrying too much

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Thank you for the info regarding the meeting.

I still say that regardless of the meeting, that this woman handled things very strangely, and bottom line, there is NO excuse to be contacting a married man while you’re a married or single woman -as well as making plans to spend a Saturday or an evening alone with him. Period.

The excuse about having problems with women friends. Well, there might be a very good reason for that. And even if the woman is blameless in this area…there’s no excuse for just not trying to make appropriate friends.

Sometimes women have trouble making friends because their need to be admired by men is so strong that all the other women feel she is a threat to their marriages…

I agree that women can be difficult friends sometimes…but I wouldn’t dream of making friends with guys married or not to hang out with. It just isn’t appropriate.

It seems that people think that having friendships is so important that they’ll cast about anywhere for anyone. I’ve been sans friendships outside my family for a decade now…and frankly, it’s not that big of a deal. A spouse and children and other relatives can often be plenty of socialization.

God Bless,
Lisa
 
joandarc2008 -

Thank you for your response to my concerns about my son going into the Marines. I know you speak the truth. I have to have faith and when / if the time comes let go and trust in God. We have raised our son in the Faith and he’s given us no cause for concern at this point.

And I agree that this reality, the immorality of society is everywhere…You do have to learn how to avoid the bad people and the bad places. Unfortunately that’s often through trial and error.

God Bless,
Lisa
 
MarksWife said:
joandarc2008 -

Thank you for your response to my concerns about my son going into the Marines. I know you speak the truth. I have to have faith and when / if the time comes let go and trust in God. We have raised our son in the Faith and he’s given us no cause for concern at this point.

And I agree that this reality, the immorality of society is everywhere…You do have to learn how to avoid the bad people and the bad places. Unfortunately that’s often through trial and error.

God Bless,
Lisa
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Lisa… Has your son enlisted yet? My ds leaves for the marines in January…
 
MarksWife said:
Thank you for the info regarding the meeting.

I still say that regardless of the meeting, that this woman handled things very strangely, and bottom line, there is NO excuse to be contacting a married man while you’re a married or single woman -as well as making plans to spend a Saturday or an evening alone with him. Period.

The excuse about having problems with women friends. Well, there might be a very good reason for that. And even if the woman is blameless in this area…there’s no excuse for just not trying to make appropriate friends.

Sometimes women have trouble making friends because their need to be admired by men is so strong that all the other women feel she is a threat to their marriages…

I agree that women can be difficult friends sometimes…but I wouldn’t dream of making friends with guys married or not to hang out with. It just isn’t appropriate.

It seems that people think that having friendships is so important that they’ll cast about anywhere for anyone. I’ve been sans friendships outside my family for a decade now…and frankly, it’s not that big of a deal. A spouse and children and other relatives can often be plenty of socialization.

God Bless,
Lisa
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First that’s awesome you live close to your family so you can have them as friends. I would too, if I lived close to them. But I can’t imagine not having any other friends in my life besides them especially when its my family that is driving me insane.

I get along with men better because I find women don’t tend to get my sense of humor. It’s been even harder since becoming a mom because I’m not the typical SAHM nor am I the typical WOHM. I find men care less about whether I certain aspects of my parenting are AP. Men are generally less catty and more open minded I believe when it comes to friendships.

I made it clear in our dating relationship that I’ll always have male friends and if my boyfriend (now dh) had issues with that then we shouldn’t be together. He doesn’t because he trusts me and vice versa. My dh is my best friend, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t have friends besides him. While my dh will listen to me complain about work he doesn’t really get it like some of my friends from work. And while I can listen to him complain about some piece of scientific equipment that has broken for the 5th time that day etc, etc. I don’t get it as much as someone who he works with. There is something to be said about going out with coworkers and being able to get all the stupid complaints people bring to you throughout the day (I work in customer service in retail so perhaps my work experience isn’ the same as everyone elses)

I’ve hung out with several of my male coworkers and one in particular who I’ve become really good friends with. I actually think it takes away any temptation because instead of just seeing their good side you see all as a friend.
 
:rolleyes: and the drama continues:rolleyes: …

So. This Belinda’s husband is so jealous that he called the house and asked me for my husband’s cell. I gave my husband the phone and my husband gives her husband the cell phone number. 2 days later Belinda comes and drops off the video games that my husband had given her and the playstation 1 games. My husband also lent her husband dvds and they were returned as well. (her husband wanted to keep watching the dvds but wanted Belinda to return the stuff she got!) He also asked my husband for the cell phone number because he wanted to block any of my husband’s calls. Anyway, she drops off the stuff and proceeds to tell my husband and I that her husband is in the mental facility and is diagnosed with schizophrenia. What is that? It sounds like that means he doesn’t have all his marbles. I told my husband to stay away because he might hurt me or him. I don’t think I was too harsh.
 
:eek:

I reiterate the cuckoo for cocoa puffs sentiment from before…

Your DH needs to actively discourage her from any further contact. There is just too much wierdness here, and you and he need to concentrate on your marriage. It seems pretty fragile from your posts, and really does not need so much negative influence from outside.

Good luck and prayers…
 
duskyjewel said:
:eek:

I reiterate the cuckoo for cocoa puffs sentiment from before…

Your DH needs to actively discourage her from any further contact. There is just too much wierdness here, and you and he need to concentrate on your marriage. It seems pretty fragile from your posts, and really does not need so much negative influence from outside.

Good luck and prayers…
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Thank you for your concern. My husband pretty much agreed the situation is crazy. He has started attending RCIA with me. So I think things are not going to be as crazy.
 
Carjack1 said:
Thank you for your concern. My husband pretty much agreed the situation is crazy. He has started attending RCIA with me. So I think things are not going to be as crazy.
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WOW!!! Congratulations! That is a lot of progress!
 
That’s great news, carjack.👍 I also agree with dusky re: your new friends. While I feel terribly sorry for “Belinda’s” husband, which could explain why she wants a friendship so desperately outside of her marriage (because her husband is not well)…it’s not a good place for you both to be in. It would be one thing if this were a family member, or a loooong time friend, but the situation just seems to be getting odder by the day. I jsut wouldn’t want to see you guys in harm’s way.

Schizophrenia I believe is when people have multiple personalities, and hear voices…I think. I am not 100% sure, but I believe that’s the gist of it.

I am glad things are going well for you and hubby.
 
Schizophrenics aren’t automatically dangerous or violent, but it is likelier in the case of paranoid schizophrenics.

Sounds like Belinda needs to spend more time and care on her own husband right now.

She might see stealing your husband as the solution to her problem of her nutty hubby. Your hubby could easily fall for this, the knight in shining armor aiding the damsel in distress. Well, it’s a losing game after all the dust settles. He becomes her next problem.

Hopefully you and your husband can refeather your own nest, discuss what kinds of couple/family friendships you want to develop together, and follow through on that plan. 👍
 
Carjack,

Congrats on RCIA. While schizophrenia is not multiple personalities it can be confused with it. Schizophrenics basically see and hear things that really are not there. There many types of this disorder - some are paranoid. They can become violent or suicidal. It is pretty scary stuff. Stay away but please pray for her husband and her. They have a long road ahead of them.

God bless,
 
Assuming her husband really is schizophrenic. This could be another tactic by a wierd needy person (or immoral person who wants him) to try and get carjack’s husband closer to her and paying attention to her, because, poor soul, look what she has to deal with.
 
I didn’t think about that. But I don’t think she is lying. We went over to her house to show support because she didn’t have anyone to watch her kids(they work opposite shifts) She doesn’t know anyone in the area. I just feel that she and her husband need to work out their issues, before they start friendships. At one point my husband got a text stating that he and I are worse than parents and we were observing her and husband so closely:rolleyes: Then she called back sobbing on my answering maching saying that she didn’t mean it. Which makes me think that her husband isn’t the only one with missing marbles. I told my husband that we just started to hang out with them and look at all the drama. He said you are absolutely right. So he turns of his cell, plus before the hospitalization, we didn’t her from her too much.
 
duskyjewel said:
Assuming her husband really is schizophrenic. This could be another tactic by a wierd needy person (or immoral person who wants him) to try and get carjack’s husband closer to her and paying attention to her, because, poor soul, look what she has to deal with.
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the glass is not always have empty, ms dusky.😛
 
Carjack1 said:
I didn’t think about that. But I don’t think she is lying. We went over to her house to show support because she didn’t have anyone to watch her kids(they work opposite shifts) She doesn’t know anyone in the area. I just feel that she and her husband need to work out their issues, before they start friendships. At one point my husband got a text stating that he and I are worse than parents and we were observing her and husband so closely:rolleyes: Then she called back sobbing on my answering maching saying that she didn’t mean it. Which makes me think that her husband isn’t the only one with missing marbles. I told my husband that we just started to hang out with them and look at all the drama. He said you are absolutely right. So he turns of his cell, plus before the hospitalization, we didn’t her from her too much.
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yeah, sounds like they have a lot going on. i would minimize my interaction with them, at least until things seem to be a bit less hectic there.

So happy about RCIA though…that’s great.
 
whatevergirl said:
yeah, sounds like they have a lot going on. i would minimize my interaction with them, at least until things seem to be a bit less hectic there.

So happy about RCIA though…that’s great.
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He talked about maybe getting baptized. I pray so:signofcross: and please pray for us.
 
Carjack,

I am THRILLED for you and hubby that you are both now going to RCIA. WOW. That is progrees indeed isn’t it.

As for this Belinda situation, I think you are right that she and her DH need to work things out. In a situation like that it’s hard to be involved b/c it’s so much drama, but it’s hard to walk away from people who really need support too. So, you’re walking a line.

I still think you need to watch your and hubby’s backs though, because this whole thing seems really wonky. Calm, drama, calm, drama, like a wee boat on high seas.

Maybe since you and hubby are both on this faith journey now, you can make praying for them part of what you do as a couple which will strengthen the two of you, and Belinda and her DH too. Mental illness is truly a huge cross to bear, for the person with it and all the people around them.
 
You could always stick to public interraction only with them in positive places such as invite them both to church events or to your RCIA class. Suggest speaking to your priest. These can be ways of helping them to integrate into a more positive lifestyle without taking yourself down with them.
 
carjack,

how old are their kids? somebody better keep an eye out for those kids while the parents are losing their minds.

those poor kids.
 
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