vern humphrey:
Shame and guilt are virtually the definition of the inner-directed man. And it’s a practical approach – remember that bad behavior has rewards. If I steal, I get free money. If I take drugs, I feel good and the other kids think I’m cool. If I lie, I avoid punishment for what I did. And so on.
Guilt and shame add negative consequences to these behaviors.
…those contributions are NOT made by criminals or drug pushers. You have to have a basic character BEFORE you become a contributor. The basic foundation of character is a self-image as a person who does NOT do bad things – and when, being human, we violate that self-image, there are built-in negative consequences.
Possibly – but remember that recent studies show that young killers have high self-esteem. So high that they feel justified in killing those who offend them.
I would like to agree that you can’t become a contributor without a basic sense of integrity, but obviously there are too many tragic examples to the contrary. If the histories are true, JFK would be an example. I am sure you could come up with a dozen, without thinking twice.
Bad behavior, generally speaking, only has rewards in a shallow sense. That is why you, in reality, would not lie or cheat or steal, even if you knew you could get away with it. The ideal is that one does good not so much to avoid hell as to recognize the glory that is Heaven. As I said… the behavior I am talking about is gratitude-driven, connection-driven, grace-driven. Whether the person would call it that or not, they do good because they are open to Grace.
I purposely am not using the phrase “self esteem” because it has a psychological definition that is somewhat different than what I am talking about. (I probably shouldn’t use “inner-directed man” for the same reason.) I mean that a person needs to appreciate their true worth and place in the world. You can’t have that in any true sense and then go out and start killing people. If your “self-esteem” doesn’t also call humility into the equation, it is not what I am talking about.
A person does have to have the capacity for shame and guilt to form their conscience correctly. You have to recognize that there are behaviors that are contrary to your sense of integrity, things that you avoid doing even if you could avoid being caught simply because they are wrong. But if a conscience is properly formed, sin is not just penalty-risking act, but a violation of the relationship with one’s self, one’s fellows, and with God. You aren’t faithful to your wife, for instance, primarily because she owns a cast iron skillet. This is true of a good marriage: you are faithful because you love her (in the verb sense). If you want to argue that no wife in her right mind hears a few sweet nothings and throws out the skillet… well, I’ll buy that. The baser considerations do hold their sway, when our better selves might otherwise waver.
I am talking about a level of functioning that is not the common lot, but I think it is possible to have a society that is both disciplined and kind. It requires education about the self, the development of emotional intelligence, spiritual intelligence. It is the stuff of the world’s wisdom literature. Not an easy prescription, but let’s face it: Easy doesn’t cut it. Guilt, shame, punishment… these have their places. But they can’t be the whole answer. That’s no way to live. That isn’t good enough. That isn’t all we were made for… and really, isn’t that the Good News?