Ani Ibi:
Thank you to the folks who responded to my question about sociopaths. Oregon: once an addict has made the decision to become a recovering addict and is acting purposefully and systematically on that decision then, yes, I agree pull out the empathy-stops.
However I do not think empathy is indicated for active users. What is there to empathize with?
They are sinners, and you are a sinner. It is only the sin that is different. If you do not have gratitude for the graces you have received, the mercies that are extended to you, in what sense have you even received them? In what sense would you even be contrite for your own sins? You would only have traded your obvious vices for the sin of pride, comforting yourself with the thought that your sins aren’t the worst instead of using your knowledge of them to stir your own compassion for others.
“There, but for the Grace of God, go I.” Did Jesus not die for us while we were still sinners? Did He not reach out to Saul, who was persecuting His Church with zeal, and make him into St. Paul? Didn’t Stephen, martyred while that Saul looked on, pray in his last words, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them”? That was empathy. This is the mindset we are to imitate. Sometimes it is not in our power to knock them off of their path of destruction, but we are charged to do what we can.
Active users, and especially dealers, have proven to be Sauls waiting to be St. Pauls. Once in recovery, many do plunge in after other souls with great zeal, rescuing souls in a way that those of us who have not wrestled with that sin cannot.
Would you like the Church to ignore you in your sin until it dawns on you to reform yourself? Or would you like to be challenged out of your stupor? Would you like to be met with condemnation only, or with the recognition that you in your sin are like all of us, that it is your sin, and not you, that God hates? Would you come out of your prison for the sake of facing the judgement you deserve? Or would you rather be told the whole truth: that you, like all of us, are called out of death and into life? If we are to wait before someone comes to us before we extend mercy, in what sense are we making disciples of the world? We are not God, but we are their brothers and sisters. We have our part to do.
In this case, it is a delicate path we tread. Giving empathy to someone’s life without giving support to “the life” can be very hard, especially when that someone doesn’t even recognize the difference. But as I said, we do what we can. Empathy is the very least we can ask of ourselves.
Besides, addiction is a disease of the mind. We
know these people are no longer totally in charge of their faculties. On this account, we know that some of them are currently less accountable for their sins than we are for our own. If that doesn’t make us empathetic, I don’t know what. Perhaps if we give them a hand up out of their sin today, tomorrow they will return the favor.