An upsetting experience at Mass

  • Thread starter Thread starter Ophelia23
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
Holy Toledo!!:eek:

I could not even imagine saying that to a child.
I’m like the other poster in that I like it when a family with kids sits by me. We have some really adorable kids at my Church. They say the cutest things to me at Mass sometimes and when they see their Mother getting ready to scold them for uttering a few words one will always say to me, “I can’t talk right now” and then she will turn around and sit quietly for the most part.

I’m sorry but I have to chuckle.

That woman must not be all there or she just doesn’t appreciate kids. It’s a lot to ask a kid to sit for an hour on a hard bench without turning around or looking around at everyone. Kids are social people. 🙂
 
What bizzare behavior. I hope your daughter will soon forget this unpleasant incident.

I’m seconding others on here who wonder if she is perhaps somewhat senile or otherwise mentally ill. Maybe she just couldn’t stop herself.

Having a rambunctious 2 year old myself, I’ve also encountered some “cold glances” at Mass, so can relate. But this takes it to a whole new level. Usually at the sign of peace, if someone is miffed at her toddler-appropriate behavior, they will just turn their nose up and “obviously” ignore us.

You should probably mention it to the priest. Maybe he’s aware of her needs already and can assist in getting her some help.

One other thought - are you sure that’s exactly what she said? (Just wondering.) And maybe her voice was gruff because she was a longtime smoker or had some other medical problem affecting her voice.
 
Is this someone you see at mass regularly? If yes, I would be tempted to try to politely tell her any issues she has with your daughter can be discussed after mass with you. Maybe talking a bit with her will help you figure out if she does have a medical problem or is just cruel. Also, if ever she tries to take your daughters hand again, I would definetly pull your daughter back and ask her not to

I am in agreement with :eek:
 
TigerKitty said:
What bizzare behavior…You should probably mention it to the priest. Maybe he’s aware of her needs already and can assist in getting her some help…

One other thought - are you sure that’s exactly what she said? (Just wondering.) And maybe her voice was gruff because she was a longtime smoker or had some other medical problem affecting her voice.
Click to expand...
Bizarre…that is a good word. I just can’t imagine it. Yes, I think this is something to ask the pastor about, in case he can shed some light on the situation. If the woman is barely has her hinges in working order, she could have a trail of incidents like this. He might be well aware of her.
 
I would have lost charity right there and then. Talk about selfishness.
 
WingsOfEagles said:
It does sound like she could be going senile.
Click to expand...
I think it is worth letting the pastor know that this happened. It is not so much that he is going to intervene right now in this case, but that if the woman has an issue that’s going to continue to play out, he’ll be able to see the trend sooner rather than later.

The language in particular and the bizarre nature of the outburst does sound like someone who’s losing their inhibitions, and maybe their short term memory and their grasp on time and place, too. This is the kind of comment I’ve heard people make when they are slipping into dementia…in church, in restaurants, to strangers, to little children, in the last places you’d expect. Bizarre and very embarrassing, but they’re oblivious.

If she doesn’t have a mental issue, you have to wonder what was up with her. 🤷
 
Thanks for the comments, everybody! We were visiting at a different parish than usual, because we had slept late and missed Mass at our normal parish. This morning, I have cooled off a little bit and been able to take a step back and offer prayers for the woman. Yesterday, I said prayers for her also but I fear the prayers were not said with the right spirit in my heart. They were said with anger and resentment.

I hope she doesn’t do or say this to anybody else at Mass, especially young children. My little one picked up on her aggression completely, and knew that something wrong was happening. I just don’t want her to experience anything like that at Mass again.
 
I think the only proper response to something like that is to say:
“Awww, she LIKES you! We’ll have to sit here behind you more often!” 😉 😃
 
Ophelia23 said:
At Mass this morning, my 2 year old was being relatively well behaved. We had to step out with her once because she started throwing a fit about something, but otherwise it was a good Mass. She had her soft puppy toy to play with. She quietly was playing by herself. And then THIS happened.

At the peace offering, the woman in front of us turned around. She took my little girl’s hand (fine) she got close to my daughter’s face (awkward) and said in gruff voice “Peace, you little turd. Now be quiet.”

:eek:

NOTHING about this seemed like a joke or like she was trying to be playful. It took me a second to even register what had just happened! My daughter was stunned by it, too. After the woman turned around, my daughter sat startled and then started crying. I was SO upset. I wanted to tell that woman how entirely out of line she was for being so aggressive with my child. I wouldn’t and couldn’t cause a scene at Mass. But the mama bear in me RAGED with this.

I feel so strongly that we should raise our children to see the Mass as a time for worship. If she is acting up, I will step out with her. I calm her down, we go back in. Wash, rinse, repeat. But I am not going to take her out with every little noise she makes, or every time she wiggles or accidentally drops something. I feel like we are One Body in this Church, and that includes children.

Rant over. Thanks. 🙂
Click to expand...
I am sorry about what happened. Your daughter is two years old. That woman was out of line, uncharitable and a bully. If you see her again, tell her to try someone her own age and warn her that you would report her if she ever does anything like that again. Ask for her name, she may just slink away.
 
I am sorry this happened to you OP–this was a rare event I am sure.
Gertabelle said:
From your description, I wonder if that woman might be suffering from some sort of mental illness. Strokes and alzheimer’s, among other things, can cause erratic and uncensored behavior.
Click to expand...
I am not finished reading all the posts, but I wanted to add that dementia is another disease that leads to people making inappropriate outbursts (like what was said to the OPs child). I had a neighbor who suffered from that before she died. It was weird because she was always such a nice person and then she suddenly turned nasty. It was sad to see her go downhill like that.
 
Allegra said:
:eek:

Yikes! Who calls a two-year-old a “turd”? Maybe the woman in question has tourette’s syndrome and has and uncontrolable impulse to say everything she thinks? Maybe she was drunk? I can’t imagine any normal person saying something like that to a baby! (Maybe a school aged child…maybe.)
Click to expand...
Not likely she has Tourette syndrome. Touretters feel such shame and embarrassment over outbursts, and very few actually have coprolalia (verbal outbursts)anyway. A Touretter does not verbally abuse people without remorse. They suffer from an affliction almost entirely out of their control.
So it is far more likely this verbally abusive woman is just plain ole nasty. I would speak to the priest immediately about this incident. Something similar happened to my son and we addressed it immediately. Now that nasty lady has become quite civil and kind to us.

FYI, my response to the Tourette question is because my brother and my husband both have Tourettes, as well as several acquaintances. Most Touretters are sweet people who feel bad when their affliction bothers others.
 
mommamaree said:
Not likely she has Tourette syndrome. Touretters feel such shame and embarrassment over outbursts, and very few actually have coprolalia (verbal outbursts)anyway. A Touretter does not verbally abuse people without remorse. They suffer from an affliction almost entirely out of their control.
So it is far more likely this verbally abusive woman is just plain ole nasty. I would speak to the priest immediately about this incident. Something similar happened to my son and we addressed it immediately. Now that nasty lady has become quite civil and kind to us.

FYI, my response to the Tourette question is because my brother and my husband both have Tourettes, as well as several acquaintances. Most Touretters are sweet people who feel bad when their affliction bothers others.
Click to expand...
That’s true. A person with tourette syndrome would probably have apologized right after the incident. As another poster said, dementia is a stronger possibility.
 
I agree that it sounds like she was either suffering from dimentia or she was the grumpiest person in church that day!

BTW you should congratulate yourself on your abilities of restraint. I think I would have called her out.

😊
 
Every time I read about, or hear about, this type of behavior I am so grateful I was not there to witness it.

That is completely out of line.

That being said, I have a loud singing voice. I love to sing. Most of the time it doesn’t bother people because they are singing too. Twice in the past two weeks, older men have made it a point of telling me how loud I am. My Genovese Mom is next to me in the pew when this happens - and she has taken both of them out with a sweet smile and a, “Oh, what a CLEVER thing to say, young man” (she is 90 - they are probably in their 70’s or 80’s).

You don’t mess with Italians, even at Mass :p!
 
Ophelia23 said:
…We were visiting at a different parish than usual, because we had slept late and missed Mass at our normal parish…
Click to expand...
Oh, well, there may be a reason there was a spot open near her. When someone commits a few instances of behavior like that, sometimes word gets around. If you were a visitor, you could either say something to the priest or let it go. It’s up to you.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top