V
Vintagecoils
Guest
To Shlemele,
Lord have mercy on me, a sinner
Code:
I am sorry to read how this is working out. At first though I want to say when I started reading this post I was surprised. I had spent many years with mennonites seeking and almost entered the church. I was suprised you even considered divorce. I was surprised you have not had strong teaching and opposition to your marriage from your family. THe mennonites I was with were very thorough in their knowledge of some key issues on the Catholic faith and their strong objections. Communion and baptism to name a few. And that group was strongly against mixed marriages and divorce would prevent any other marriage except to remarry the first spouce. So now for you to want to rely on some misinformation from your mother inlaw for a way out is not, in my opinion fair. There appears that there was gross ignorance on both your parts of your faiths and teachings. I realize there are varying degree's of doctrine with menonites so that you need to show some charity to your wife and other members of her faith for not being able to have known all in the beginning.
Now , I say all of this for you and your wife. It seems that something prompted her to begin to not take the teachings of her church so lightly. (the Holy Spirit I would say) It also seems that your experience in growing up and coming to the Lord became pivital to you. In my experience with the mennonites it was a lifestyle steeped in tradition that kept most of the children in the faith but many parents were aware that it was also tradition that many children expressed the desire to be baptised at a given age. I found it not so believable that roughly around the age of 12 and thirteen that all the children of the two groups i was associated came to realize truelly the need to be in Christ. Many if not havng been raised in the very closed environment would have went the way of the world and did not understand.
What I am saying is that All of us will have to at some time, Catholic, Orthodox, etc make a conscious profession to truelly submitt our life to Christ. Baptising a child does not preclude that fact nor dismiss its necessity. In both cases it was and is the environment you bring that child up in that will either hasten or postpone his coming to Christ if at all.
Divorce is not an answer. You stepped into the sacrament of marriage which belongs to God. Even non-believers recieve a certain amount of grace for living out their marriages and not divorcing. Because marriage is from God. Divorce is from satan. You and your wife will be capable to build a God centered life for he will lead you through this. Yes you both fumbled your way to this point but only need to place your marriage in Gods hands and he will lead you forth. Jesus said that all those who are heavy laden to come to him and he will give you rest. Divorce is mans way of saying to God "you don't and can't give me peace, so I have to do something against your will to fix this" Then after divorce I suppose you figure you can then start living according to Gods will again.
Finnally, I would put not to much weight on a "Catholic Phycologist" Saying you are now finding out new things about your wife is also not in the proper perspective. Marriage is for better or worst, sickness and health til death. I certainly expect that you will continue to discover things about each other for many years to come. Becoming a parent for example, being poor, and in adverse conditons can bring out things in differnt times in your life. But none constitute a reason for divorce. This may seem silly to you but get a copy of the 1972 version of "Fiddler on the Roof" There are some interesting points broughtout in that movie. One major one for me was what marriage was about. And how it manefested under God. Though I don't think this was meant to be a central theme in the movie.
A good spiritual guide, lots of prayer, with your wife, like the "Our Father who art in Heaven ..." and submitting to Christ will go all the way in carrying the two of you forward.
You are both in my prayers