J
josie_L
Guest
Cheezy, the feelings of anger, even bitterness are actually normal (I think we all feel that way when suffering through certain trials, I myself spoke of this during my last visit to a prayer group). Having said this, do not let that anger get the better of you, so I’ll pray for you because I know things will get better:Hello, again…
Your prayers got me through the part that scared me most, namely the anesthesia, with which there is a bad history.
Thank you so very much.That went smoothly
This week’s sermon was, in part,about praying for others. That we may petition for ourselves of course, but that prayers for others are made through His love and compassion.
The priest said this more eloquently, of course.
He also stated that, as Christians, we are to pray for others, not just out of obligation, but more from our heart, where it matters most. To want to do so more than having to do so.
I am asking for your prayers yet again.
I am becoming angry, bitter, and discouraged. It seems understandable, but this is still not me. This surgery was regrettable. I was not psychologically capable of handling this. My living circumstances are not conducive to proper healing and it is aleady behind schedule.
It seems surreal, yet again understandable that life is too much for me. That I can’t be here. I am tired. “Thy will be done.” I would run a marathon for Him, but I cannot.
I am not purposefully rejecting Him, He understands all that is in my head and heart.
But I don’t want to feel this way, either.
I told a pastor where I previously worked, that I do not want to die, but I do not want to live, either. Even that’s not right; I want to, I can’t. And I do not want anger and bitterness to take hold.
The most support I have had comes from CAF, where, I think, the greatest true compassion of Christ lives, at least from my perspective. My former prospective church has dropped me from RCIA. I have given up on that, too. The only place for me to get food is where I once worked; a Christian based ministry, where there is little compassion, odddly enough. But its pastor has turned to me in His love and understanding, for which I am grateful to God. All my other support are paid professionals, for whom whom also grateful. It’s not the same as personal support, of which I have none. This too, makes me feel like I do not belong here.
If you would pray for me, I would appreciate it. I will pray for you, those who feel as I do, and especially those who do the marginalizing. It’s a shame.
God bless and again, thank you
" O Lord, make it possible for us to accomplish with your grace what is impossible for us by nature. You know the little we can bear and when some trial comes our way we immediately fall apart. Make the bearing of trials something desirable and lovable to us, for suffering and affliction for your name is wholesome to our soul."
“Give (Cheezey) the strength to resist, the patience to endure, and the steadfastness to persevere.”
All these quotes are from “The Imitation of Christ” by St. Thomas a Kempis, it is a wonderful spiritual book.“If he should, however, fall into some kind of trouble - no matter how entangled he has become - You will quickly rescue him or console him for You never abandon those who trust in You unto the end.”