Hi Gurney. Its interesting to see how this whole discussion has evolved. My prayers are with you, I can sympathize with your struggles. Its not easy. I’m going to get very open and personal in this post, I hope it helps you in your journey.
Well I’m most likely on my way back to Rome. I just feel out of place despite the kindness shown to me at the Anglican parish where I attend. It’s really hard. My children, my wife, they just love the Anglican church. I feel really odd cut off from the papacy. I guess at the core of my intellect is just a simple faith. I can tell myself I’m a rebel and that I disagree with some things and that I can identify with non-Catholic entities but I always end up defending the papacy with my rector when we have discussions about theology.
At my core I just don’t feel the pope can err and that the Catholic Church is protected from error.
That is an important point. If the Pope cannot err, then anything the Catholic Magisterium teaches must be accepted as true, no matter how hard of a teaching it is.
On a more personal level, I love my Anglican parish too. I have not found a place where I could grow in my faith in a long time. I am so glad I found it. I felt like I was becoming stronger while in RCIA, but after RCIA, many of the connections I made in my catholic parish disappeared (one man and his wife were in the military and were stationed somewhere else, my sponsor moved with his job etc…) In a large Catholic parish (or a Protestant Megachurch), if you do not know anyone, you can feel like an alien in a foreign land. But if you disagree with too much, such as my case with Pentecostalism, you will also feel like an Alien in a foreign land. I guess that is where I decided that fellowship is very important in Christianity-its not just about church teachings, but building relationships.
Maybe the problem is with me and I need to just suck it up and get back to faith. In the end it’s all about faith. We can try to intellectually rationalize this and that, use history to paint eloquent debates and arguments in here and proof text or use Fathers or councils or whatever to try and win and frame arguments but ultimately, in the end, it boils down to faith.
Amen. I agree 1000 percent (is that possible?) Without faith it is impossible to please God (Hebrews 11:1) I am finding this true as I have a discussion in another thread with a Catholic about the nature of the church. We both quote scripture, use history, quote the fathers, and make reasonable points. Ultimately he/she accepts the teachings of Catholicism in their entirety. As of right now, I do not because I do not accept the Sola Ecclesia model put forth by the Catholic church.
Do you believe x, y, or z? I think at my core I trust the papacy and feel Matthew 16:18 is what the Church says it is. I will not stop struggling with many of the “particulars” as GKC calls them, even if I go back. I just need to trust and have faith I suppose. I’m just not totally comfortable as an Anglican and despite the MANY lousy experiences at my Catholic parish here, a parish I honestly don’t like ONE iota, the Catholic religion is closer to my heart than any other. So it’s highly possible we’ll return there.
The particulars are part of what keep me out of Catholicism for now, but there is always more to the story. There is for me. I guess my conversion to the Catholic faith was hastened by the fact that I engaged to a Catholic girl and I wanted a one faith household when we got married (we didn’t thank God), so I went through with my conversion. I really never questioned everything and thought that I could agree with the church 100 percent in faith and morals. After our engagement fell apart, I remained Catholic without even thinking twice about it. Later,my journey away began.
I converted to Catholicism alone. We have Catholic family (my aunt, uncle and cousin), but they are down in Alabama. If we were still down there and had family to go to Mass with, I probably would still be Catholic. Since my dad passed, my mom and sister looked to me as the religious leader of the family. It became my duty to find a church where we could all worship. Combine that with the fact that I came to terms with the fact that I still like some Protestant/Wesleyan/Pentecostal theology, and see things I like about Catholicism (liturgy) and Orthodox Christianity, but I am not sold completely on either one, I found myself in Anglicanism where I could have what I liked from all of these traditions, could discard what I don’t accept from those traditions, and I could provide a place where my family (we are of Baptist heritage) could worship without making a conversion they are reluctant to.
But it just seems every week things get harder. We’ll make a new friend at the Anglican parish or like today, my kids played shepherds, angels, and sheep in the Christmas play at Mass, and you get closer to other parishoners and their kids, etc. and it gets harder to walk away. What a tough journey this has been.
Don’t take that for granted. Relationships are very important in our Christian walk.
There is a parish up in Fresno, St. Anthony of Padua, that actually holds a traditional tridentine Latin Mass every Sunday, shockingly. But here in town and the adjacent cities, I’ve tried them all out and it’s pretty bland and I’m not impressed.
