Angry at irreverence during Mass

[raaucoin]

regarding dress:

Some time ago I was not living according to church teaching. Still I participated in Mass on Sundays. Over time, I started attending daily Mass. Then my work schedule changed. I quit going to daily Mass. I kept feeling called to go, but my schedule, and Mass time meant that I would have to go dressed in my work clothes- gym shorts, T-shirt and gym shoes. So I didn’t go. Finally I couldn’t ignore the fact that deep within I was called to participate in daily Mass.

Reluctantly, I showed up in my gym clothes-nothing very revealing-. I soon experienced a great conversion and changed my life. now I not only live according to church teaching-I embrace it and love it.

You see, it didn’t matter what I was wearing, my Lord just wanted me with Him. I still attend daily Mass in my work clothes and dress more appropriately when I can and of course on Sundays I present myself in my best- thankful that my Savior called me even when I "clothed "myself in my worst.

I mean no disrespect to Him or any member of His Body. I only seek to answer His call-when He calls.

 

[Brooklyn]

I do not think anyone was trying to “justify” dressing down. I think they are just trying to point out that not everyones “idea” of dressing up is the same. I know alot of kids who paid alot of money for those desiner jeans and to them they are wearing thier best for God. I also know them to be the most compasionate, charitable and loving souls I have ever met. Just try getting to know them instead of condemning them all the time on these forums.

Would you wear your “best jeans” if you had a private audience with the Pope? If the “best jeans” are the best you have, then that is all that can be expected. But if you have better, I think Our Lord deserves better, just as the Pope would.

I’m not condemning anyone. I’m just pointing out what is respectful and what is not. Our society believes that we should all be free to do exactly as we please and if someone else is bothered, too bad. I don’t see that as a definition of love.

Mary

 

[emma411]

This topic has always been interesting to me. I too have witnessed for lack of a better phrase some abuse when it comes to how one dresses for church. For some it seems as if church is just a social place. When I was a teenager I too was ignorant to the way of dress sometimes. Now that I am older it’s more sincere to me. We are in the most special place in the world. Right where Jesus is. I feel the need to cover up for him and so I won’t distract others attention as well. I also want to teach my daughter good values in modesty.

In the Chastity link on this site, under quotes from saints, the Blessed Mother said at Fatima that there will be “certain fashions that will offend our Lord.” After reading that yesterday it really opened up my eyes a little more.

Our priest actually implemented a new rule, that anyone who brings their cell phone to mass and forgets to silence it or turn it off will be fined. I kid you not. I don’t understand why people bring their phones to mass anyway. I mean people got along with out them in the past. I just don’t feel there is any excuse to it. Regardless of ones profession/career. It’s an hour for most of us one day a week to give thanks and praise to our Lord, and to be reminded of his ultimate sacrifice on the cross. Still the phone without one really knowing it, reigns supreme

I think it needs to be taught with great strength about the importance of covering up during mass. I see too much during the week in horrible fashion where they have young girls wearing less and less why must I see it in church

All well, I’m sorry this is long, for anyone who reads this.

 

[JReducation]

This topic has always been interesting to me. I too have witnessed for lack of a better phrase some abuse when it comes to how one dresses for church. For some it seems as if church is just a social place. When I was a teenager I too was ignorant to the way of dress sometimes. Now that I am older it’s more sincere to me. We are in the most special place in the world. Right where Jesus is. I feel the need to cover up for him and so I won’t distract others attention as well. I also want to teach my daughter good values in modesty.

In the Chastity link on this site, under quotes from saints, the Blessed Mother said at Fatima that there will be “certain fashions that will offend our Lord.” After reading that yesterday it really opened up my eyes a little more.

Our priest actually implemented a new rule, that anyone who brings their cell phone to mass and forgets to silence it or turn it off will be fined. I kid you not. I don’t understand why people bring their phones to mass anyway. I mean people got along with out them in the past. I just don’t feel there is any excuse to it. Regardless of ones profession/career. It’s an hour for most of us one day a week to give thanks and praise to our Lord, and to be reminded of his ultimate sacrifice on the cross. Still the phone without one really knowing it, reigns supreme

I think it needs to be taught with great strength about the importance of covering up during mass. I see too much during the week in horrible fashion where they have young girls wearing less and less why must I see it in church

All well, I’m sorry this is long, for anyone who reads this.

I’m going to agree with you on several scores and add something for thought. I do agree that people do not know how to dress appropriately these days, not only for mass, but for school, work and most situations. One of our sisters and I were discussing this today. Ever since our Secular Franciscans were told that they no longer needed to wear the Franciscan habit in 1978, there has been a decrease in appropriate dress. You’d expect some people to know better. I’m a high school principal and I spend my day telling kids to pull up their pants and girls to wear their skirts the right length, and we have a uniform.

I will also agree that cell phones are not needed at mass, school, or most situations where one is to remain focussed.

Now comes my one exception to the cell phone rule. My sister, brother and mother are physicians. They are often on call on weekends. They need their cells. In the past they carried beepers. If it went off during mass they’d have to run looking for a phone at the rectory or where ever there was one. Today, they can call the hospital immediately by steppping outside of church. My confreres all work with respect life. They take calls 24/7 from women who are contemplating abortion. They are usually in a crisis when they call. They don’t want to leave a voice mail message at some 800 number. The key is to get a phone that has vibrating capabilities. This way you can get your emergency call and not disturb others.

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF

 

[mkingdomlvr]

My cell phone stays in the car during Mass-unless it’s REALLY hot and I’m concerned about it baking. If I must take it in, I silence it.

As far as kids, Mom and Dad need to take them away for that hour. There is NO REASON for a teenager to sit there and TEXT during MASS.

Yes, I’ve seen that…and it makes me

 

[JReducation]

My cell phone stays in the car during Mass-unless it’s REALLY hot and I’m concerned about it baking. If I must take it in, I silence it.

As far as kids, Mom and Dad need to take them away for that hour. There is NO REASON for a teenager to sit there and TEXT during MASS.

Yes, I’ve seen that…and it makes me

While you’re preaching to parents, please remind them that kids do not need to text during school, either.

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF

 

[pnewton]

Now comes my one exception to the cell phone rule. My sister, brother and mother are physicians. They are often on call on weekends. They need their cells. In the past they carried beepers. If it went off during mass they’d have to run looking for a phone at the rectory or where ever there was one. Today, they can call the hospital immediately by steppping outside of church. My confreres all work with respect life. They take calls 24/7 from women who are contemplating abortion. They are usually in a crisis when they call. They don’t want to leave a voice mail message at some 800 number. The key is to get a phone that has vibrating capabilities. This way you can get your emergency call and not disturb others.

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF

I have on rare occassion needed my cell phone on. Those are the very times I am most conscious of having it and always put it on mute.

 

[mkingdomlvr]

While you’re preaching to parents, please remind them that kids do not need to text during school, either.

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF

I can just imagine what our Principal’s reaction to THAT would have been.

I pay for my goddaughter’s cell phone, have since she was in 8th grade. I did not pay for texting until she went off to college. Now I suppose she could have tried texting anyway and I could have been hit with some HUGE bill for per text fees, but she knew that would have been the end of the cell phone until she could afford her own.

 

[JReducation]

I have on rare occassion needed my cell phone on. Those are the very times I am most conscious of having it and always put it on mute.

There are ways of getting your signal without disturbing your neighbors. It’s just like the dress issue. Some people have no common sense. End of story.

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF

 

[Phemie]

There are ways of getting your signal without disturbing your neighbors. It’s just like the dress issue. Some people have no common sense. End of story.

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF

My cell phone is usually in my purse but I probably use it about twice a month so it’s easy to forget that I have it with me. One day it rang during the Consecration. I wanted to sink through the floor. I couldn’t turn it off and couldn’t figure out why because I was too flustered to remember that the keys were locked. To add insult to injury it was a wrong number.

 

[JReducation]

My cell phone is usually in my purse but I probably use it about twice a month so it’s easy to forget that I have it with me. One day it rang during the Consecration. I wanted to sink through the floor. I couldn’t turn it off and couldn’t figure out why because I was too flustered to remember that the keys were locked. To add insult to injury it was a wrong number.

You made me laugh so hard that my ribs ache. Next time open and shut it. That will stop the ringing. One Sat I was call for Respect Life and the cell went off during confession just as the priest asked me “Are you sorry for your sins?” I almost lost my balance.

Br. JR, OSF

 

[Phemie]

You made me laugh so hard that my ribs ache. Next time open and shut it. That will stop the ringing. One Sat I was call for Respect Life and the cell went off during confession just as the priest asked me “Are you sorry for your sins?” I almost lost my balance.

Br. JR, OSF

It’s true that had I simply pressed “Talk” then “End” it would have solved the problem, but in my confusion that didn’t occur to me, it was just ‘OFF’, OFF, OFF, darn it why won’t you turn OFF!!!

 

[emma411]

[SIGN]Now comes my one exception to the cell phone rule. My sister, brother and mother are physicians. They are often on call on weekends. They need their cells. In the past they carried beepers. If it went off during mass they’d have to run looking for a phone at the rectory or where ever there was one. Today, they can call the hospital immediately by steppping outside of church. My confreres all work with respect life. They take calls 24/7 from women who are contemplating abortion. They are usually in a crisis when they call. They don’t want to leave a voice mail message at some 800 number. The key is to get a phone that has vibrating capabilities. This way you can get your emergency call and not disturb others.
[/SIGN]
Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF

I totally agree with that. My mother in-law is a surgical technician, and she to is on call during weekends as well. She even had the old fashion beeper! I know this may sound extreme, but I don’t think I could go with the idea of my children having any type of communication device when they are that age when they need to be focused. There are already too many distractions already, why add a communication device instead. I guess texting has been up graded from the old time note passing huh:shrug: Even then those were disturbances. Boys however don’t dress any better. But I guess for me I will just have to make sure my kids are taught the right and respectful way to dress. I wish more schools around here were in more uniform. Half are but still I still see kids trying to how shall I say fix their uniform so they still seem cool. I think things need to change. Letting kids wear whatever has gone from a no problem kinda thing to oh my gosh what do they have on?

I am silly when I go clothes shopping. I feel bad for my daughter for when she gets older. I mean I am so picky about her type of clothes. I will really have to get her to understand that just because it’s on a rack doesn’t mean it goes on your back!!! I mean I won’t let her wear tank tops unless it’s under a shirt or sweater! I don’t let her wear skirts unless they come to her knee, and she’s 3! But you get them to understand now, they will see what you are talking about. A little extreme I know. But things are so different now a days. My daughter will tell me when someone needs more clothes on.[SIGN][/SIGN]

This is in response to JReducation. My apologies, I couldn’t figure out how to just get the part of the quote I needed, and I believe proper acknowledgments were not noted. So I wanted to make sure that the first part of this reply was in response to JReducation.

 

[emma411]

regarding dress:

Some time ago I was not living according to church teaching. Still I participated in Mass on Sundays. Over time, I started attending daily Mass. Then my work schedule changed. I quit going to daily Mass. I kept feeling called to go, but my schedule, and Mass time meant that I would have to go dressed in my work clothes- gym shorts, T-shirt and gym shoes. So I didn’t go. Finally I couldn’t ignore the fact that deep within I was called to participate in daily Mass.

Reluctantly, I showed up in my gym clothes-nothing very revealing-. I soon experienced a great conversion and changed my life. now I not only live according to church teaching-I embrace it and love it.

You see, it didn’t matter what I was wearing, my Lord just wanted me with Him. I still attend daily Mass in my work clothes and dress more appropriately when I can and of course on Sundays I present myself in my best- thankful that my Savior called me even when I "clothed "myself in my worst.

I mean no disrespect to Him or any member of His Body. I only seek to answer His call-when He calls.

Wow, such truth. As touchy as I am on the topic of modest dress in church, there are times in peoples lives when they may not get to be in their best dress. Your heart was in it. You listened to the Lord and you followed him right into going to daily mass. It’s just that their are some who don’t seem to have reverance in this area. Some feel that they don’t need to dress up. The old argument why can’t I go in this outfit? Well I mean like Fr. Trigilio from EWTN said in response to ones question to this matter was that if you were invited to a party don’t you get washed up, groomed, and put on your best clothes?

I wish I could make more of an effort to go to daily mass. And I doubt I myself would dress up, but I would dress appropiately. A dear friend of mine once said bring my kids to church in their pj’s!! So cute. I just encourage you to keep on going to daily mass, what a wondeful way to start your day. I ask that you may pray for me so I can do the same, and not give into getting my zzz’s!!

 

[benedictgal]

This evening, I went with my father to a different parish. The parish happened to have a Quince Anos celebration. While the honoree and her family were dressed appropriately, a lot of the guests were not. There were several young girls wearing strapless dresses (one was both strapless and above the knee). I think that the pastor was trying very hard not to have a fit. Of course, there were some others, regulars, I think, who were also pushing the envelope, as they, too, were wearing strapless tops that showed too much. One woman, last week, wore a halter dress.

Inasmuch as the mercury has not dipped below 100 down here, that is no excuse for immodest dress at Mass.

 

[ac_claire]

This evening, I went with my father to a different parish. The parish happened to have a Quince Anos celebration. While the honoree and her family were dressed appropriately, a lot of the guests were not. There were several young girls wearing strapless dresses (one was both strapless and above the knee). I think that the pastor was trying very hard not to have a fit. Of course, there were some others, regulars, I think, who were also pushing the envelope, as they, too, were wearing strapless tops that showed too much. One woman, last week, wore a halter dress.

Inasmuch as the mercury has not dipped below 100 down here, that is no excuse for immodest dress at Mass.

Yup, absolutely. We’re all hot, but we’re all still at Mass.

 

[crenfro]

Went to confession today because of this incident -among other things!- and I stand (sit) corrected. I should have been focusing more on the Mass instead of letting my self-righteous anger get the better of me.

However, next time I will move to another part of the church if this situation happens again.

I’m so grateful for these forums. They are a great outlet, an education and a marvelous way for us Catholics and true Christians to support each other.

Many blessings.

 

[JReducation]

This evening, I went with my father to a different parish. The parish happened to have a Quince Anos celebration. While the honoree and her family were dressed appropriately, a lot of the guests were not. There were several young girls wearing strapless dresses (one was both strapless and above the knee). I think that the pastor was trying very hard not to have a fit. Of course, there were some others, regulars, I think, who were also pushing the envelope, as they, too, were wearing strapless tops that showed too much. One woman, last week, wore a halter dress.

Inasmuch as the mercury has not dipped below 100 down here, that is no excuse for immodest dress at Mass.

Since you’re in TX you can remind them that even the armadillo wears his heavy jacket in the heat.

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF

 

[emma411]

I tell you what, I feel like we have all seen it all when it comes to the way one dresses in mass. Some people get a little too relaxed in the cry room (taking off shoes, by a grown adult) yet, they should be in the main part of the church. I see too many people take advantage of the cry room when one should be in the congregation, perhaps too harsh of an opinion?

I feel as if I am spending too much time judging others by what they are wearing, but today this sweet lady in front of me, came to church in a mini skirt and a low cut shirt. Again a nice lady, but should I have said something? Her sweet daughter had on a dress revealing her upper back towards her shoulders, perhaps she is two? But still, I don’t know what to make of it. One person on this thread mentioned about men wearing shorts I believe. I never really thought it a problem for the ones I see, dress it up a bit. But perhaps that too isn’t the best option? Well anyway, I wonder if venting like this is leading me to sin. Because I just don’t want to judge others when the Good and Merciful Lord can be very Just and call me on my faults and judge me. How does it go… Judge yourself harsher before you judge someone else?

Blessed be the Lord, for he is Just and Merciful!!!

 

[JReducation]

You make two very good points, which I often mention to people in spiritual direction.

1. I ask people how distracting is something vs how much are you looking for the distractions, because you have now crossed the line that should never be crossed.

That brings me to

1. Do you believe no one can ever say that you have never done anything that is distracting?

Then I proceed to remind people that there are things that are not appropriate for mess. But people can be very stubborn, or inattentive, or not take things as seriously as the pastor may take them. Let’s face it, people do it on the job where their livelihood is on the line.

At some point, you have to accept that you cannot change others, but you can change yourself. Change your seat. Change your attitude toward these people. They’re not that important that you have to sit and think about the for an entire mass. If you do this, then maybe you have to change your attitude about yourself. Is it your job to judge or to worship? That’s the line that we may never cross.

We cand judge an attire as poor taste, but not the person who wears it. I’m remembering when designer jeans came out. And sneakers with big names. The kids of the time thought that they were dressing from prom night when they put on designer jeans and big name sneakes. The fact was that they could have paid for a tuxedo rental with what they paid for these clothes. What I’m trying to say is that what I may consider inappropriate another person may consider fit for a king. So I try to think, about the most positive way that they could be perceiving their attire. I always figure if they show up for mass, they can’t be that bad, as human beings. There is simply something missing in their home training.

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF

I tell you what, I feel like we have all seen it all when it comes to the way one dresses in mass. Some people get a little too relaxed in the cry room (taking off shoes, by a grown adult) yet, they should be in the main part of the church. I see too many people take advantage of the cry room when one should be in the congregation, perhaps too harsh of an opinion?

I feel as if I am spending too much time judging others by what they are wearing, but today this sweet lady in front of me, came to church in a mini skirt and a low cut shirt. Again a nice lady, but should I have said something? Her sweet daughter had on a dress revealing her upper back towards her shoulders, perhaps she is two? But still, I don’t know what to make of it. One person on this thread mentioned about men wearing shorts I believe. I never really thought it a problem for the ones I see, dress it up a bit. But perhaps that too isn’t the best option? Well anyway, I wonder if venting like this is leading me to sin. Because I just don’t want to judge others when the Good and Merciful Lord can be very Just and call me on my faults and judge me. How does it go… Judge yourself harsher before you judge someone else?

Blessed be the Lord, for he is Just and Merciful!!!