Annulment, In-Valid, No Sacraments

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Hi, I am a Catholic and so is my husband, but we married in an Episcopal church, because he needed to complete a lack of form. I decided to do things my way instead of God’s way so I am suffering terribly. I have over the last 2 years been on a tremendous spiritual journey that continues daily for me and I LOVE MY NEW FOUND FAITH. My husband now has his annulment and we can have our marriage blessed (convalidated) in the Church, but he refuses. He no longer goes to Mass with me or anything. I don’t want a divorce or anything, but I feel like I am being punished. When I made the choice to marry outside of the Church, I had no idea what I was ultimately sacraficing. I am so desperate to go to Reconciliation, receive Communion and just be in full communion with the Church. I did not know until recently that I cannot receive absolution because my marriage is in-valid. I have heard there is another method but it does take both spouses co-operation too. Can someone please give me something? I NEED to go to Reconciliation? I need to be right in the Church and with God. It breaks my heart to even share this humilitation of my ignorance.
 
Hi, I am a Catholic and so is my husband, but we married in an Episcopal church, because he needed to complete a lack of form. I decided to do things my way instead of God’s way so I am suffering terribly. I have over the last 2 years been on a tremendous spiritual journey that continues daily for me and I LOVE MY NEW FOUND FAITH. My husband now has his annulment and we can have our marriage blessed (convalidated) in the Church, but he refuses. He no longer goes to Mass with me or anything. I don’t want a divorce or anything, but I feel like I am being punished. When I made the choice to marry outside of the Church, I had no idea what I was ultimately sacraficing. I am so desperate to go to Reconciliation, receive Communion and just be in full communion with the Church. I did not know until recently that I cannot receive absolution because my marriage is in-valid. I have heard there is another method but it does take both spouses co-operation too. Can someone please give me something? I NEED to go to Reconciliation? I need to be right in the Church and with God. It breaks my heart to even share this humilitation of my ignorance.
You can go to reconciliation, but it would require that you are living with your “husband” as though you were brother and sister.

I would suggest telling your husband that while he may not share your beliefs any more, that you require that he honor your beliefs in the matter. Then give him one of two options:
  1. You get the marraige convalidated.
  2. No sex. You move out of the bed and into a guest room (or sleep on the couch) and start taking the sacraments again.
That’ll set him straight very quickly 😉
 
go talk to your priest. radical sanation may be an option for you.
 
As was correctly mentioned already: radical sanation
 
Hi, I am a Catholic and so is my husband, but we married in an Episcopal church, because he needed to complete a lack of form. I decided to do things my way instead of God’s way so I am suffering terribly. I have over the last 2 years been on a tremendous spiritual journey that continues daily for me and I LOVE MY NEW FOUND FAITH. My husband now has his annulment and we can have our marriage blessed (convalidated) in the Church, but he refuses. He no longer goes to Mass with me or anything. I don’t want a divorce or anything, but I feel like I am being punished. When I made the choice to marry outside of the Church, I had no idea what I was ultimately sacraficing. I am so desperate to go to Reconciliation, receive Communion and just be in full communion with the Church. I did not know until recently that I cannot receive absolution because my marriage is in-valid. I have heard there is another method but it does take both spouses co-operation too. Can someone please give me something? I NEED to go to Reconciliation? I need to be right in the Church and with God. It breaks my heart to even share this humilitation of my ignorance.
Retroactive validation, also called radical sanation, is an option. It does not require your husband’s consent. It is retroactive, i.e. it is in effect back-dated to the day of your marriage. A consequence of that is your wedding anniversary does not change.
 
Retroactive validation, also called radical sanation, is an option. It does not require your husband’s consent. It is retroactive, i.e. it is in effect back-dated to the day of your marriage. A consequence of that is your wedding anniversary does not change.
Does your anniversary change due to a normal convalidation?
 
Sorry you are suffering in this way. God loves you, and hears your prayers. Pray to St Joseph for your husband and yourself. He has many privileges, and one of them is that he is Head of the Holy Family. Here is a link to EWTN on radical sanation/convalidation etc.
ewtn.com/vexperts/showmessage.asp?number=430592&Pg=Forum9&Pgnu=1&recnu=9

http://www.stjosephshyd.com/StJoseph2.jpg
MEMORARE OF ST JOSEPH
Remember, O most illustrious Patriarch St Joseph, on the testimony of St Teresa, thy devoted client, never has it been heard that anyone invoked thy protection or sought thy mediation who has not obtained relief. In this confidence I come before thee, my loving protector, chaste Spouse of Mary, foster-father of the Saviour of men and dispenser of the treasures of His Sacred Heart. Despise not my earnest prayer but graciously hear and obtain my petition.
Let us pray
O God, Who by Thy ineffable Providence didst vouchsafe to choose Blessed Joseph for the spouse of Thy most holy Mother, grant, we beseech Thee, that he whom we venerate as our protector on earth may be our intecessor in Heaven. Who livest and reignest for ever and ever. Amen
 
Does your anniversary change due to a normal convalidation?
Yes because with simple convalidation your marriage is only put right, so to speak, on the day of convalidation. The Church only considers you married from the date of your convalidation. Sanation (retrospective convalidation) puts the marriage right dating back to the original wedding. After sanation the Church considers you married from the original date. That’s why it’s called retroactive.
 
Sorry to hijack the thread…I tried to send you a private message, Dee S, but it said that you had disabled the function. Anyway, I absolutely love this picture of St Joseph. Do you know the name of it? I would like to get a copy for our home. Thanks and apologies to the OP for the hijack! 😊
Sorry you are suffering in this way. God loves you, and hears your prayers. Pray to St Joseph for your husband and yourself. He has many privileges, and one of them is that he is Head of the Holy Family. Here is a link to EWTN on radical sanation/convalidation etc.
ewtn.com/vexperts/showmessage.asp?number=430592&Pg=Forum9&Pgnu=1&recnu=9

http://www.stjosephshyd.com/StJoseph2.jpg
MEMORARE OF ST JOSEPH
Remember, O most illustrious Patriarch St Joseph, on the testimony of St Teresa, thy devoted client, never has it been heard that anyone invoked thy protection or sought thy mediation who has not obtained relief. In this confidence I come before thee, my loving protector, chaste Spouse of Mary, foster-father of the Saviour of men and dispenser of the treasures of His Sacred Heart. Despise not my earnest prayer but graciously hear and obtain my petition.
Let us pray
O God, Who by Thy ineffable Providence didst vouchsafe to choose Blessed Joseph for the spouse of Thy most holy Mother, grant, we beseech Thee, that he whom we venerate as our protector on earth may be our intecessor in Heaven. Who livest and reignest for ever and ever. Amen
 
go talk to your priest. radical sanation may be an option for you.
Hi, thank you all for your answers and support. I spoke to the deacon about radical sanation and he said it did require my husbands co-operation. Otherwise, it’s like a “shotgun” wedding. Maybe I should speak directly to a priest. I have also tried the brother and sister thing and of course, that makes the household temperment much worse. I don’t blame my husband and cannot harbor any resentment towards him for this, because I know I should have gone about things the right way to begin with. I just didn’t understand my Catholic faith at all like I should and it wasn’t until I started searching did I I begin to truly understand. I pray for him daily for God to open his eyes to the truth.

With the St. Joseph Novena, I start out well, but then get busy and forget to do the weekend part of the meditations and then the prayer. I will start it again.

Thanks to all
May God Bless you
 
I spoke to the deacon about radical sanation and he said it did require my husbands co-operation.
Radical sanation can take place without one or both spouses permission, for grave cause:

vatican.va/archive/ENG1104/__P47.HTM
Can. 1164 A sanation can be granted validly even if either or both of the parties do not know of it; nevertheless, it is not to be granted except for a grave cause.
While I certainly respect the opinions of deacons and priests, I would not take their opinions on this particular matter as the final word. I recommend taking the matter up with the bishop’s office if you get nowhere in your own parish.
 
+I have no idea where your Deacon got his information . . . but below is an article re Radical Sanation by Catholic Apologist Dave Armstrong . . . who until fairly recently worked for Marcus Grodi, the host of the EWTN Journey Home TV show as the senior apologist for Marcus’ Coming Home Network . . . *(if you click onto the provided link you can access the inner links in the article to other sites) . . . *

. . . :coffeeread: . . .
RADICAL SANATION

A couple who is now Catholic
(or where one person is not but is willing to go through with such procedures for the sake of his/her spouse, children, etc.,), but has “marriage issues” can either go through the ceremony of matrimony or receive what is called a “Radical Sanation”. Catholic Answers has an article about the latter.

Note that the article mentions “a dispensation for a marriage ceremony outside the Church”. I don’t know how often this occurs or what is involved (see, e.g., CCC, #1633-1637). It also talks about getting a radical sanation even without knowledge of one of the parties:

If your spouse would have an extremely bad reaction to the sanation procedure, then, for the sake of domestic peace, he would not need to be told about it: “A sanation can be granted validly even when one or both of the parties are unaware of it, but it is not to be granted except for serious reason” (CIC 1164). The extreme reaction of your spouse could count as the serious reason needed for this.

This (if possible to obtain) is probably the best course for a Catholic married to a person who is quite opposed to Catholicism. Another EWTN page explains the difference between a convalidation and radical sanation (the latter makes the original vows retroactively valid and the former is a new set of valid vows). It also mentions one partner being able to do this:

Reasons for a radical sanation include a situation when one party will not cooperate in having the marriage convalidated through a ceremony . . .

Apparently some priests have told couples they need not worry about such details of marriage convalidation. Another EWTN page (Fr. Mark J. Gantley) decisively answers this:

If a Catholic is married outside the Catholic Church, then the marriage must be convalidated. This is true whether the marriage involved a Catholic and a non-Catholic or two Catholics.

The necessity of “ecclesiastical form” is discussed in CCC #1630-1631. This is my understanding of Church teaching. I’m not infallible, of course, but I have backed myself up with official Catholic sources, solid apologetics material, and priests from reputable and orthodox websites (I humbly submit that some priests who have been giving out goofy, erroneous information concerning these matters might do well to do the same, since this is a very serious matter).

For even more detail, one can consult the Code of Canon Law, that discusses marriage in its entires: #1055-1140. Here are a few of these:

**Can. 1108 §1 **Only those marriages are valid which are contracted in the presence of the local Ordinary or parish priest or of the priest or deacon delegated by either of them, who, in the presence of two witnesses, assists, in accordance however with the rules set out in the following canons, and without prejudice to the exceptions mentioned in canon 144, 1112 §1, 1116 and 1127 §2*3.

Can. 1117 The form prescribed above is to be observed if at least one of the parties contracting marriage was baptized in the catholic Church or received into it and has not by a formal act defected from it, without prejudice to the provisions of can. 1127 §2.

Can. 1118 §1 A marriage between Catholics, or between a catholic party and a baptized non-Catholic, is to be celebrated in the parish church. By permission of the local Ordinary or of the parish priest, it may be celebrated in another church or oratory.

§2 The local Ordinary can allow a marriage to be celebrated in another suitable place.

§3 A marriage between a catholic party and an unapprised party may be celebrated in a church or in another suitable place.

- Posted by Dave Armstrong​
**​

:compcoff: Link: socrates58.blogspot.com/2008/01/catholic-marriage-convalidation-and.html

God Bless . . .

. . . all for Jesus+​
 
Hi, thank you all for your answers and support. I spoke to the deacon about radical sanation and he said it did require my husbands co-operation. Otherwise, it’s like a “shotgun” wedding. Maybe I should speak directly to a priest. I have also tried the brother and sister thing and of course, that makes the household temperment much worse. I don’t blame my husband and cannot harbor any resentment towards him for this, because I know I should have gone about things the right way to begin with. I just didn’t understand my Catholic faith at all like I should and it wasn’t until I started searching did I I begin to truly understand. I pray for him daily for God to open his eyes to the truth.

With the St. Joseph Novena, I start out well, but then get busy and forget to do the weekend part of the meditations and then the prayer. I will start it again.

Thanks to all
May God Bless you
I recommend contacting your diocese, perhaps the Chancery. Sanation can happen without your husband’s consent. In some circumstances the Church can sanate a marriage without either of the spouses even knowing it has happened. Check the facts with your diocese’s department that deals with such matters.
 
Does your anniversary change due to a normal convalidation?
Legally it dates to the date the marital conset was validly given, which technically could be later that the original celebration, but that is a fine point, and is not necessary to define if there was no public proof. The actual sacramental effect can only take place once the Church grants the retroactive convalidation. If it is between the baptised then it is a sacrament and the grace of the Holy Spirit will strengthen the bride or groom or both, as the case may be, that is in the state of grace, beginning at the time of the grant.
 
Radical sanation can take place without one or both spouses permission, for grave cause:

vatican.va/archive/ENG1104/__P47.HTM

While I certainly respect the opinions of deacons and priests, I would not take their opinions on this particular matter as the final word. I recommend taking the matter up with the bishop’s office if you get nowhere in your own parish.
I totally agree. This is no matter for deacon’s, however kind and knowledgable. Your spiritual and emotional life and those of your husband are at stake here. Make an appointment with the parish priest and discuss this with him.

The Church’s top priority is the Salvation of Souls, that means yours and his. The saying that ‘the devils fishes in disturbed waters’ is quite true. I’m frankly amazed that your parish priest has not come forward to help you already.
 
By all means ask your pastor, but it’s quite possible that he is unfamiliar with sanatio in radice/radical sanation. Seminarians have a lot to learn in a few years, and rare canonical procedures may not be one of them. If he is unable or unwilling to help, contact your diocesan chancery or tribunal. Even if they are not keen (because it is rare, particularly with the consent of only one party), push a bit harder. At the very least they owe you an explanation of why they don’t think it is suitable for your particular case, not a general statement that “we have a policy of not doing this”. If you are still being denied, ask if they can supply you with a canon lawyer pro bono.

Sanatio in radice/radical sanation is a paper procedure; it doesn’t require a new wedding ceremony in church. Is it possible that your husband would agree to filling out a couple of forms, even if he wouldn’t go through with a new religious wedding ceremony? That may well make things a lot easier for you overall. Be aware that the signatures may have to be witnessed, so it might require your husband to go to the parish office - not 100% sure about that one.
 
My Dear Brothers and Sisters,

Thank you all so much for responding to my questions. I feel revived and very hopeful in my mission to be in full Communion with God and His Church once again. I must say I am relieved the deacon was wrong and feel sorry for those persons who lose faith in the Church because they are told incorrectly and do not continue to seek answers. While I do not particulary want to go through my parish church now, I feel it is my duty as a Catholic to inform the deacon of his incorrect teaching on Radical Sanation so that others may not be discouraged.

Again Thank you all so much! My heart rejoicing in this and I shall continue to post throughout this journey so that others may find this and learn they are not alone.

God Bless ALL!
 
Hi, thank you all for your answers and support. I spoke to the deacon about radical sanation and he said it did require my husbands co-operation. Otherwise, it’s like a “shotgun” wedding. Maybe I should speak directly to a priest.
The deacon is incorrect and does not show an understanding of radical sanation.

Talk to your priest directly.
 
My Dear Brothers and Sisters,

Thank you all so much for responding to my questions. I feel revived and very hopeful in my mission to be in full Communion with God and His Church once again. I must say I am relieved the deacon was wrong and feel sorry for those persons who lose faith in the Church because they are told incorrectly and do not continue to seek answers. While I do not particulary want to go through my parish church now, I feel it is my duty as a Catholic to inform the deacon of his incorrect teaching on Radical Sanation so that others may not be discouraged.

Again Thank you all so much! My heart rejoicing in this and I shall continue to post throughout this journey so that others may find this and learn they are not alone.

God Bless ALL!
As much as I can appreciate that this is difficult for you maybe you can look at your ability to do this in a kind, informative manner as giving purpose to your suffering - further uniting you to Christ on the Cross in His Passion. God bless you.
 
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