Annulments and Re-Marriage

[Jacki5389]

Hey everyone,

I posted on here a few weeks ago, freaking out a bit because my mom got engaged.

I’m feeling a bit better about things now, but more questions have come up. My parents did not get an annulment when they divorced, and didn’t apply for one either. My mom’s fiance is Lutheran and so my mom thinks that since getting an annulment would involve my dad (who is deep down still in love with mom but is, for lack of better words, a man-*hore. He also has a terrible temper and anger issues and would not hesitate to take it out on my sister and I), and she doesn’t want us to receive the effects of him being involved, she thinks that she’ll “go with the Lutheran wedding this time because as I know, its the closest to our church.” Ohhhhhh Mom…

I told her that she’s going to tell my dad anyway that she’s getting married because I’m not going to be the one responsible for it. So whether or not they get an annulment, he’s gonna know about it, and we’re gonna hear about it.

Any advice on what to say to her???
Also, my main question is: If a marriage is annuled, are the two individuals free to marry again? I know that if it is not annuled, it is as if the two are still married until one dies.

Thanks guys,
Jacki

 

[Jacki5389]

Please read the rest of my story (replies to it too) to understand the whole deal!

 

[LilyM]

Tell your mom to speak to her priest - annullments CAN be done on information from just one party in cases like your parents’ where the other spouse is unco-operative.

As you say, if your father is going to be upset about her remarriage anyways, it’s no difference (except to the state of her soul) if she seeks an annulment too.

Question is, what would she do if the church found that your parents’ marriage was valid?

 

[Ray_Scheel]

Any advice on what to say to her???

Your bit about teling her she was the one that had to tell you dad was as good as anything. She needs to talk to her priest about what she needs to do to apply for a nullity declaration even if she doesn’t want to wait, just in case she changes her mind.

Also, my main question is: If a marriage is annuled, are the two individuals free to marry again? I know that if it is not annuled, it is as if the two are still married until one dies.

If there is a nullity declaration issued, the prior marriage is no longer a barrier to remarrying. However, it is not uncommon for one or both parties to receive a prohibition or a mandate for additional marriage preparation to ensure they do not repeat the eventually led to their first attempt at marriage being null.

 

[chevalier]

Hey everyone,

Also, my main question is: If a marriage is annuled, are the two individuals free to marry again?

The short answer is yes. The long answer is that when one of the parties (or sometimes both) is found at fault or is found to be incapable of undertaking or performing the duties of marriage, then that party may receive a prohibition (vetitum) from marrying again without the consent of the local ordinary (bishop). It basically means the bishop needs to be consulted and have a say in order to avoid another invalid marriage. This is the prohibition that Ray talks about.

I know that if it is not annuled, it is as if the two are still married until one dies.

There is no “as if still married”. The divorce doesn’t change anything in the validity or nullity of marriage. A marriage is null only for reasons which exist when the marriage is being entered into. What happened later may only serve as evidence of pre-existing problems, but of itself is not relevant. A civil divorce does nothing to a sacramental marriage. As long as the spouses are validly married, then they are married until one of them dies. If they are not validly married, then indeed, until the nullity decree, they are as if married. However, they were never married to begin with.

This is essentially what the Church tribunal does: it finds out whether the marriage was truly entered into or not. If yes, then nothing can change that. If no, then unless one or both of the parties for some reason shouldn’t marry or shouldn’t marry without the consent of the bishop, then they are able to marry.

I know this may be difficult to understand, but feel free to ask and I or other posters will explain.

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

Your answer to your mother that she had to tell your dad was excellent! Don’t let her wrap you up in being the go-between on this. Stay respectful, but also stay firm on this.

Here is more information on the decree of nullity process from reliable sources (not that chevalier is not reliable of course):

dioceseofbrooklyn.org/ministries/tribunal/myths/

archdiocese-chgo.org/thearchdiocese/faq.shtm

amazon.com/Annulment-Wedding-Church-Declare-Marriage/dp/0809138441

shop.catholic.com/cgi-local/SoftCart.exe/online-store/scstore/p-CB299.html?L+scstore+bzft0117ff7e687e+1240658761

 

[Dias49]

Im hoping someone out there can answer this question. My ex-husband obtained an annulment through the church and re-married. Do I also have to apply or the fact that he received approval for annulment and I agreed, makes it valid for me to re-marry and receive sacraments?

 

[Dias49]

Im hoping someone out there can answer this question. My ex-husband obtained an annulment through the church and re-married. Do I also have to apply or the fact that he received approval for annulment and I agreed, makes it valid for me to re-marry and receive sacraments?

 

[LilyM]

Im hoping someone out there can answer this question. My ex-husband obtained an annulment through the church and re-married. Do I also have to apply or the fact that he received approval for annulment and I agreed, makes it valid for me to re-marry and receive sacraments?

If your former marriage has been declared null it’s null (non-existent) for BOTH parties, your ex and yourself. And both of you should be free to marry.

You shouldn’t really call it remarriage, it would be a first valid marriage. The previous marriage is held to have never been a true marriage in the first place - in essence it never really existed as a marriage.

 

[cameron_lansing]

Im hoping someone out there can answer this question. My ex-husband obtained an annulment through the church and re-married. Do I also have to apply or the fact that he received approval for annulment and I agreed, makes it valid for me to re-marry and receive sacraments?

When a marriage is declared invalid, this action affects both parties and, unless there was a prohibition on one or the other, they are both free to marry.

Contact the tribunal that decreed the invalidity of the marriage to obtain a copy of the decree if you do not have one. You can also pursue your question in depth with a member of its staff.