Annulments/support group

[Nic1099]

I am so happy for you!

If I were your ex’s current wife I would be very hurt and absolutely LIVID upon discovering he was arguing his previous “marriage” valid and his mischief making. I hope you have considered praying for her. And him, too. Sounds like they need the prayers! I have just recently been able to pray for my ex and his wife. I have only prayed for them a couple times, but I hope to grow as a person and Christian and be able to someday remember them in my prayers more frequently.

Dan is awesome and his advice is invaluable. I read your post a day or so ago and was going to respond as soon as I had time. Of course, I could only think of “speak to a canon lawyer”.

In case it hasn’t been said in a while, thanks, Dan. You rock. We annulment seekers appreciate you!

Thanks MJJean

I do pray for them but not as often as I should! I second your thanks to Dan. He has been extremely generous with his time in answering our questions and has been of immense support to us all. Thanks again Dan.

 

[returningsinner]

Well after 18 months, the tribunal returned the first affirmative decision in my case. Sadness and yet joy.

 

[MJJean]

Well after 18 months, the tribunal returned the first affirmative decision in my case. Sadness and yet joy.

I am happy and sad for you.

For me, due to the circumstances of my first civil “marriage”, an affirmative annulment decision will be cause for celebration. But, imagining myself married for love and believing it would be for a lifetime and losing that, I can understand why a lot of annulment seekers feel deep sadness. I pray this decision brings you peace.

This last week has been difficult for me. I was thinking about posting for a bit of support and just didn’t come to the thread until I saw a new post.

My 12 year civil wedding anniversary was December 9th. I didn’t stand on Sunday during the anniversary and birthdays recognition portion of Mass because I didn’t feel right since we’re “only civilly married”. It hurt. I love my DH and we’ve been through so much together and are so committed to our marriage and each other, yet the Church cannot recognize us as a married couple.

I applied for and had my case accepted 18 months ago now. Our archdiocese website says that the entire process takes approximately 12-18 months. I was hoping it would be finished by now so that we could convalidate on or close to our civil wedding date. I still haven’t received a first decision. Publication of the Acts ended March 10 and…nothing.

I was very upset in a background noise kind of way all day on our anniversary. I spent all day setting things up so DH and I could spend the evening together and celebrate our day at home with all chores done, favorite dinner, candles, wine, and kids upstairs amusing themselves while we listened to music and had a romantic night once they went to sleep.

Instead, I got emotional for no reason that I could see at the time, argued over some silly thing, and we ended up going to bed early and not exactly feeling all warm and fuzzy.

The next day I realized why I was so upset. It’s because I desperately want this annulment done so I can be free to finally be Sacramentally married to my wonderful husband. I don’t think he fully understood why I was so upset, but I made mention of possibly putting away the photo the JP had taken of us right after the ceremony because it hurt me to see it on our bedside table. DH said not to be hurt, to leave it there, and go take a shower to relax under the hot water. He spent the rest of that evening being wonderfully attentive and loving. It helped, but this whole week has been about me battling sadness and pain.

Some days have been easier than others since I started the process, but as it drags on it is getting harder and harder more and more frequently.

Please, God, help us through this and help our Tribunals make just and speedy decisions.

 

[Nic1099]

Some days have been easier than others since I started the process, but as it drags on it is getting harder and harder more and more frequently.

Please, God, help us through this and help our Tribunals make just and speedy decisions.

Still praying and thinking about you MJJean.

 

[reevieklly]

I have a quick question. My husbands annulment was not granted basically due to lack of finding his therapist he saw many years ago. We were going to pull the case and retry it and low and behold, the director of the tribunal was out sick and it got pushed through and judged when it was kind of on hold. So, what now? Where should we appeal? Archdiocese or directly to Rome? I am kind of getting mixed messages on where to go now. Where would he have the best chance to get it approved? I know it will have to go to Rome if the decision I’d turned over here in the US. Does anyone have any appeal experience? Please share thanks!

 

[MJJean]

Still praying and thinking about you MJJean.

Thank you!

I have a quick question. My husbands annulment was not granted basically due to lack of finding his therapist he saw many years ago. We were going to pull the case and retry it and low and behold, the director of the tribunal was out sick and it got pushed through and judged when it was kind of on hold. So, what now? Where should we appeal? Archdiocese or directly to Rome? I am kind of getting mixed messages on where to go now. Where would he have the best chance to get it approved? I know it will have to go to Rome if the decision I’d turned over here in the US. Does anyone have any appeal experience? Please share thanks!

Contact a canon lawyer and see what he/she has to say. You can find them online or ask your Tribunal for a reference. In fact, talk to more than one if you can.

 

[reevieklly]

Thank you!

Contact a canon lawyer and see what he/she has to say. You can find them online or ask your Tribunal for a reference. In fact, talk to more than one if you can.

Thank you!

 

[forgetmenot]

I’ve been off the Forum for ‘years’, and you could probably go back and read some history. My DH received a declaration of nullity earlier this year and we finally had a convalidation ceremony. But that was after an original denial (DH never appealed). I want to thank LaLucia, Dan S, and Chevalier publicly for their support and guidance over many years. DH did not receive proper guidance in the first place. If you really want to know what happened, would be happy to send a PM. But I will say this. Tribunals are not infallible; they make mistakes both ways. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad on the forum by their casting stones, for they too are not sinless. Read-read-read. Get proper help - find a Canon lawyer (pm and I’ll recommend one) - do not go without one, ever. I read where a few people here were denied - find a Canon lawyer, they can still help. We, too, were in the dark. Yup, the Tribunals certainly can put you through the ringer, but the more knowledge YOU have, the better off you will be. If you need personal support, been there done that and would be glad to listen and help if you ask. Blessings to my friends on CAF.

 

[sheteaches]

And, here I am again…

I have a question: Does anyone have any experience with how long it took for their annulment results once all of the testimony is submitted? I received a letter in July 2014 saying that all testimony is submitted and is ready for publishing. Anyone know about how long I should expect to wait?

I originally submitted everything back in December of 2012. I’m growing frustrated. Help!

 

[forgetmenot]

Yours seems very long, but I suspect it took that long to secure all the testimony, wait for the x’s submission, as well as the fact that there may be a number of applications before yours. Have your Advocate check in with the Tribunal. If you don’t have an Advocate, make sure you get one immediately. And be sure that you are provided an opportunity to read all the testimony before a decision is made. Hang in there.

 

[MJJean]

I’ve been off the Forum for ‘years’, and you could probably go back and read some history. My DH received a declaration of nullity earlier this year and we finally had a convalidation ceremony. But that was after an original denial (DH never appealed). I want to thank LaLucia, Dan S, and Chevalier publicly for their support and guidance over many years. DH did not receive proper guidance in the first place. If you really want to know what happened, would be happy to send a PM. But I will say this. Tribunals are not infallible; they make mistakes both ways. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad on the forum by their casting stones, for they too are not sinless. Read-read-read. Get proper help - find a Canon lawyer (pm and I’ll recommend one) - do not go without one, ever. I read where a few people here were denied - find a Canon lawyer, they can still help. We, too, were in the dark. Yup, the Tribunals certainly can put you through the ringer, but the more knowledge YOU have, the better off you will be. If you need personal support, been there done that and would be glad to listen and help if you ask. Blessings to my friends on CAF.

:extrahappy::dancing:Congratulations!!!:dancing::extrahappy:

And, here I am again…

I have a question: Does anyone have any experience with how long it took for their annulment results once all of the testimony is submitted? I received a letter in July 2014 saying that all testimony is submitted and is ready for publishing. Anyone know about how long I should expect to wait?

I originally submitted everything back in December of 2012. I’m growing frustrated. Help!

I submitted everything in July 2013. My Publication of the Acts was over March 2014. I am still waiting for a Court of First Instance decision.

Yours seems very long, but I suspect it took that long to secure all the testimony, wait for the x’s submission, as well as the fact that there may be a number of applications before yours. Have your Advocate check in with the Tribunal. If you don’t have an Advocate, make sure you get one immediately. And be sure that you are provided an opportunity to read all the testimony before a decision is made. Hang in there.

Or you can call the Tribunal yourself. Have your case number ready when you call and just ask for an update on the status of your case and see if there is anything else you need to do. The folks at my Tribunal are very kind and willing to answer questions.

 

[dans0622]

…Does anyone have any experience with how long it took for their annulment results once all of the testimony is submitted? I received a letter in July 2014 saying that all testimony is submitted and is ready for publishing. Anyone know about how long I should expect to wait? …

Hello,

It sounds odd (to me) for you to be told that the testimony “is ready for publishing.” Does that mean that it was “published”? Or, have you not actually yet been informed that “publication” has taken place?

Anyway, whatever the answer to those questions is, how long it takes from the end of the investigation to the decision is anyone’s guess. As has been suggested, give the Tribunal a call and see what’s going on. If your case is simply awaiting a decision, you can ask “how many cases are ‘in front’ of mine?” to get an idea of how long it might take the Judge to get to yours.

Dan

 

[Nic1099]

And, here I am again…

I have a question: Does anyone have any experience with how long it took for their annulment results once all of the testimony is submitted? I received a letter in July 2014 saying that all testimony is submitted and is ready for publishing. Anyone know about how long I should expect to wait?

I originally submitted everything back in December of 2012. I’m growing frustrated. Help!

Hi sheteaches

The Publication of the Acts in my case took place in October 2013 and I received the decision of the Tribunal of First Instance about two months later, just before Christmas 2013.The Publication of the Acts should have been sooner at first instance, only for the fact that a witness dragged their heels for about six months. The tribunal here is extremely efficient.

I submitted my petition at the end of October 2012 and received a Decree of Nullity in May 2014. There are some on this thread that are waiting an extremely long time. I’m thinking also of MJJean. This is a travesty. My prayers are with you all.

 

[MJJean]

Hi sheteaches

The Publication of the Acts in my case took place in October 2013 and I received the decision of the Tribunal of First Instance about two months later, just before Christmas 2013.The Publication of the Acts should have been sooner at first instance, only for the fact that a witness dragged their heels for about six months. The tribunal here is extremely efficient.

I submitted my petition at the end of October 2012 and received a Decree of Nullity in May 2014. There are some on this thread that are waiting an extremely long time. I’m thinking also of MJJean. This is a travesty. My prayers are with you all.

Thanks, Nic.

I was asked to assist with coffee and donuts in the social area after Mass this week. While I was working, the Sister who has charge of religious ed and who has been such a help to me came over to give me a hug and whispered in my ear that she’d sent an email to the only person at the Tribunal she knows to see if we could get any insight into why this is taking so long. The email was returned undeliverable. The gentleman she contacted is no longer at that email because he is no longer with the Tribunal.

At the rate I am hearing of people there going part time, retiring, or leaving for other positions they’ve got to be down to about 3 people and a potted plant in that office.

:banghead:

 

[forgetmenot]

MJJean -

I haven’t looked into this as of late, but perhaps DanS would know… I believe the Tribunals are responsible to respond within a reasonable amount of time. What that is, I have no knowledge off the top. Call the Tribunal for a little peace of mind. I don’t recall, do you have an Advocate?

I can also understand the hurt you’ve endured. You aren’t the only one that felt hurt and didn’t stand at Church. And I put the JP pic away. And yes, arguments did happen, most times because of the pressure surrounding the case. I will say that we became a stronger couple as a result; and that happened regardless of the result. Take care of you. Good to know you can see the lighter side - ‘potted plant’.

 

[MJJean]

The very day I made my last post unbeknownst to me a letter was being printed at the Tribunal and mailed out to me.

:dancing::extrahappy:AFFIRMATIVE!! :extrahappy::dancing:

The letter states that my ex has 15 days to appeal. He won’t. He’s not Christian and doesn’t care. 30 days from the the day the decision was made the case will be sent on to the Court of Second Instance. I will receive a letter from them asking if there is anything I wish to add and then my case will be put in line to be judged by that Tribunal. Once they reach a decision they will send it all back to my local Tribunal and then I will receive my final notification.

I am so happy! I know waiting for the ratification of the decision is going to seem like it’s taking forever, but there is light at the end of the tunnel and it will be so worth it! One step closer to Convalidation and then Eucharist!

 

[forgetmenot]

Yippee!:extrahappy:

 

[His_helpmeet]

The very day I made my last post unbeknownst to me a letter was being printed at the Tribunal and mailed out to me.

:dancing::extrahappy:AFFIRMATIVE!! :extrahappy::dancing:

The letter states that my ex has 15 days to appeal. He won’t. He’s not Christian and doesn’t care. 30 days from the the day the decision was made the case will be sent on to the Court of Second Instance. I will receive a letter from them asking if there is anything I wish to add and then my case will be put in line to be judged by that Tribunal. Once they reach a decision they will send it all back to my local Tribunal and then I will receive my final notification.

I am so happy! I know waiting for the ratification of the decision is going to seem like it’s taking forever, but there is light at the end of the tunnel and it will be so worth it! One step closer to Convalidation and then Eucharist!

Congrats! I am SO happy for you! My understanding is that generally, if there are no complications, the Church’s aim is to have the court of second instance completed within 6 months. DH received his second affirmative decision within about 2-3 months. Prayers and best wishes!

 

[Nic1099]

The very day I made my last post unbeknownst to me a letter was being printed at the Tribunal and mailed out to me.

:dancing::extrahappy:AFFIRMATIVE!! :extrahappy::dancing:

The letter states that my ex has 15 days to appeal. He won’t. He’s not Christian and doesn’t care. 30 days from the the day the decision was made the case will be sent on to the Court of Second Instance. I will receive a letter from them asking if there is anything I wish to add and then my case will be put in line to be judged by that Tribunal. Once they reach a decision they will send it all back to my local Tribunal and then I will receive my final notification.

I am so happy! I know waiting for the ratification of the decision is going to seem like it’s taking forever, but there is light at the end of the tunnel and it will be so worth it! One step closer to Convalidation and then Eucharist!

MJJean…just saw this!! Thank God!! I’m absolutely delighted for you! You have waited so long, your patience has been admirable. I wish you all the best as you progress to the next stage. I’ll keep you in my prayers.

Again, absolutely overjoyed for you.

 

[MJJean]

Yippee!:extrahappy:

Congrats! I am SO happy for you! My understanding is that generally, if there are no complications, the Church’s aim is to have the court of second instance completed within 6 months. DH received his second affirmative decision within about 2-3 months. Prayers and best wishes!

MJJean…just saw this!! Thank God!! I’m absolutely delighted for you! You have waited so long, your patience has been admirable. I wish you all the best as you progress to the next stage. I’ll keep you in my prayers.

Again, absolutely overjoyed for you.

Thank you for the prayers and well wishes, everyone!

I am also hoping for a final decree within 6 months, but Sister said that the both of the possible Tribunals we send our cases to are also understaffed and overwhelmed, so we’ll see. Hot cup of cautious optimism, anyone?