Annulments/support group

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So, I know at some point I have to go about this in a more official way, but it seemed easy enough to post here 🙂

I am again due in court with the exwife regarding my custody so I am hoping to work on annulment when that is settled as I will probably have 3-6months before we go to battle again lol. But does anyone have any experience with a lack of form? I was reading that there is a simpiler way to get an annulment if one is declared theough lack of form.

I was a baptized cradle catholic and her an eastern orthodox in the same light. We were basically non practicing and got married in a purely civil ceremony with no approvals or counseling of our respective churches. We got married “early” for financial and living purposes and planned to “actually” get married later via the churches (we were told we could do a dual priest thing per a chaplains assistant). So making our wedding even more illegitimate was our actual calling it not our “real” wedding lol.

Does anyone with experience similar know if this is relatively simple, especially if qualifying for the lack of form and not even needing to go througg the full annulment process (if I read correctly)?
 
LethalMouse said:
So, I know at some point I have to go about this in a more official way, but it seemed easy enough to post here 🙂

I am again due in court with the exwife regarding my custody so I am hoping to work on annulment when that is settled as I will probably have 3-6months before we go to battle again lol. But does anyone have any experience with a lack of form? I was reading that there is a simpiler way to get an annulment if one is declared theough lack of form.

I was a baptized cradle catholic and her an eastern orthodox in the same light. We were basically non practicing and got married in a purely civil ceremony with no approvals or counseling of our respective churches. We got married “early” for financial and living purposes and planned to “actually” get married later via the churches (we were told we could do a dual priest thing per a chaplains assistant). So making our wedding even more illegitimate was our actual calling it not our “real” wedding lol.

Does anyone with experience similar know if this is relatively simple, especially if qualifying for the lack of form and not even needing to go througg the full annulment process (if I read correctly)?
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As a rule of thumb, lack of form applies if the following conditions are met:
  1. One or both parties was a baptized Catholic at the time of the marriage; AND
  2. The marriage was celebrated outside the Church; AND
  3. There was no dispensation from form granted; AND
  4. The marriage was NEVER validated in the Church (either through convalidation, which is a ceremony, or radical sanation, which is paperwork).
If the marriage was EVER celebrated and/or recognized in the Church (the latter would be through radical sanation) it is considered a valid marriage until proven otherwise.

Lack of form cases, as I understand it, are pretty straightforward to process because everything can be proven “on paper”.
 
LethalMouse said:
So, I know at some point I have to go about this in a more official way, but it seemed easy enough to post here 🙂

I am again due in court with the exwife regarding my custody so I am hoping to work on annulment when that is settled as I will probably have 3-6months before we go to battle again lol. But does anyone have any experience with a lack of form? I was reading that there is a simpiler way to get an annulment if one is declared theough lack of form.

I was a baptized cradle catholic and her an eastern orthodox in the same light. We were basically non practicing and got married in a purely civil ceremony with no approvals or counseling of our respective churches. We got married “early” for financial and living purposes and planned to “actually” get married later via the churches (we were told we could do a dual priest thing per a chaplains assistant). So making our wedding even more illegitimate was our actual calling it not our “real” wedding lol.

Does anyone with experience similar know if this is relatively simple, especially if qualifying for the lack of form and not even needing to go througg the full annulment process (if I read correctly)?
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It is wise to talk to a priest, call and make an appointment. Don’t let church office staff deter you, dont talk to a deacon, discuss this matter with a priest for the correct answer.
 
Casilda said:
It is wise to talk to a priest, call and make an appointment. Don’t let church office staff deter you, dont talk to a deacon, discuss this matter with a priest for the correct answer.
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Note that in many parishes, such as mine, the deacon is the appointed advocate to the Tribunal. In some parishes a layperson who is trained in Canon Law is the advocate.
 
Hello,

I am just joining Catholic Answers forums after a friend recommended searching out information/help with a potential annulment.

I am a baptized Catholic who civilly married a divorced non-Catholic Christian over two years ago. Although I relented before our civil union, I have wanted her to get an annulment from the beginning but she has refused. Recently there seemed to be some hope but now it has become a more and more divisive topic to discuss. A few months ago, she reluctantly agreed to go through the process, however with reservations. We saw a case helper, got the paperwork, she filled out the questions, but now the process has stalled. She thought the questions were ridiculous and does not want anyone contacting her or her divorced husband.

It has been the most difficult time in my life and being away from the sacraments has made it that much more difficult. We have one child together and another on the way. She also has a child with her divorced husband.

I have recently suggested separating but backed off from that.

I have also sought direction from a priest that has been helpful. However, I always find myself longing to be in full communion with the Church and I know that cannot be until something drastic happens.

I humbly ask for your prayers. I also hope that you could direct me to any stories or testimonies of others you know that have been in a similar situation. I would be very grateful and I appreciate those of you who have taken the time to help those going through the annulment process.

Thank you,
 
CAgrc4 said:
… A few months ago, she reluctantly agreed to go through the process, however with reservations. We saw a case helper, got the paperwork, she filled out the questions, but now the process has stalled. She thought the questions were ridiculous and does not want anyone contacting her or her divorced husband.

…
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Hello,

Are you aware of the reason(s) for the “stall” in the case?

It is difficult for a case to proceed when the Petitioner has “reservations” about it…

Dan
 
Dan,

I am sorry for not being more clear. The case has not yet been submitted due to her reservations.
 
CAgrc4 said:
Dan,

I am sorry for not being more clear. The case has not yet been submitted due to her reservations.
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I see. If you are willing/able to answer a question–What are the basic parameters of her “first marriage” (ages, religious affiliations, place of wedding, length of common life, reason for separation/divorce)?

Dan
 
To the extent of my knowledge:

She was 20 or 21 (shotgun wedding due to getting pregnant).

Both Christian and baptized (I believe).

Place of wedding was her parent’s backyard by a Christian pastor.

Common life was approximately 3 years.

Not exactly sure of reasons for divorce. I know physical abuse was part of it however. I believe he was gone a lot (out at night) as well.
 
CAgrc4 said:
To the extent of my knowledge:

…
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Ok. Well, based on these basic facts, it would seem that an ordinary process is needed and that if she submitted a petition, it would be accepted. What would happen after that, as far as additional testimony, witnesses, interviews, psychologist, etc., I can’t say.

I don’t have any advice as to how to go about making it more likely that she will proceed. Maybe someone else has some insights…

Dan
 
Hi,
I actually joined this forum for the mere sake of gaining some support on the annulment process as well, so will keep you in my prayers.

Several months ago, I came to the realization through the Holy Spirit that I was in jeopardy of salvation, due to the fact I’ve been living with my fiance for 3 years. It was never in the plan to get annulments, but since by recent conversion back into the church, it’s now what I desire, to be married in the Catholic Church.

The problem is I went a little over the top, which is not the way to get someone on board who doesn’t share the same depth of faith I do. I brought up annulments, mine will be easy to obtain, his is not. I started the process this week, and need to find the courage to ask him once more to at least try.

I’m asking for prayers. This man has been a true blessing in my life, and my world would be turned upside down without him. I’ve already hurt him through this whole process, and have not had any peace of mind.

Has anyone else felt this way?
 
Therese0817 said:
Hi,
I actually joined this forum for the mere sake of gaining some support on the annulment process as well, so will keep you in my prayers.

Several months ago, I came to the realization through the Holy Spirit that I was in jeopardy of salvation, due to the fact I’ve been living with my fiance for 3 years. It was never in the plan to get annulments, but since by recent conversion back into the church, it’s now what I desire, to be married in the Catholic Church.

The problem is I went a little over the top, which is not the way to get someone on board who doesn’t share the same depth of faith I do. I brought up annulments, mine will be easy to obtain, his is not. I started the process this week, and need to find the courage to ask him once more to at least try.

I’m asking for prayers. This man has been a true blessing in my life, and my world would be turned upside down without him. I’ve already hurt him through this whole process, and have not had any peace of mind.

Has anyone else felt this way?
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Hello,

I cannot relate personally to your situation but am responding to say that perhaps you would be better served by starting a new thread dedicated to your own circumstances. This thread is pretty overwhelming, from a length standpoint…

Dan
 
I submitted my paperwork to my diocese in August. In October, I got a letter from the Tribunal saying they had received all my paperwork and I would be notified as to the next step. In February, I received a letter saying my case was accepted (I thought it was in October). All of my witness statements were sent in March and my former spouse informed them he did not wish to participate in March. I sent the Tribunal a letter asking what the status of my case is and got a VERY impersonal letter saying they had all the information required, my case has been sent to the judge for review. Does this mean it has been sitting somewhere for 3 months (maybe on the judge’s desk)? Why did it take them from August to October to ‘receive’ my paperwork? Why did it take from October to February to ‘accept’ it? I understand this is a huge Archdiocese, but they make it SO difficult to actually GET information on my case (I have to send them a certified letter) then give me no real information when I jump through all their hoops to ask.

I guess I can understand why people just give up on doing the right thing.
 
kristis524 said:
I submitted my paperwork to my diocese in August. In October, I got a letter from the Tribunal saying they had received all my paperwork and I would be notified as to the next step. In February, I received a letter saying my case was accepted (I thought it was in October). All of my witness statements were sent in March and my former spouse informed them he did not wish to participate in March. I sent the Tribunal a letter asking what the status of my case is and got a VERY impersonal letter saying they had all the information required, my case has been sent to the judge for review. Does this mean it has been sitting somewhere for 3 months (maybe on the judge’s desk)? Why did it take them from August to October to ‘receive’ my paperwork? Why did it take from October to February to ‘accept’ it? I understand this is a huge Archdiocese, but they make it SO difficult to actually GET information on my case (I have to send them a certified letter) then give me no real information when I jump through all their hoops to ask.

I guess I can understand why people just give up on doing the right thing.
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Each of those steps are about half the time mine took. While it seems lengthy, eternity is longer. Have patience.
 
sadpanda2 said:
Each of those steps are about half the time mine took. While it seems lengthy, eternity is longer. Have patience.
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I understand that I am not the only one to go through this and it is worse for many people. I was simply asking what it means that the information was sent to the judge for a review. I was also commenting on the fact I am a bit frustrated that when I jump through all their hoops to try to get information on where my case is, I get a form letter that tells me nothing. Would it kill them to say what it means to have been sent to a judge for review? Would it kill them to say there are 10 cases ahead of mine, or 100 or 1000? The only way I can get information is to send them a certified letter and when I do that, I get nothing in return but a form letter. I don’t think it is too much to ask to be treated like a real person and told real information.
 
My understanding is that most dioceses will consider a case in 18 months. they seem to work in three month intervals. This is because the people on the tribunal have other roles.
 
kristis524 said:
I understand that I am not the only one to go through this and it is worse for many people. I was simply asking what it means that the information was sent to the judge for a review. I was also commenting on the fact I am a bit frustrated that when I jump through all their hoops to try to get information on where my case is, I get a form letter that tells me nothing. Would it kill them to say what it means to have been sent to a judge for review? Would it kill them to say there are 10 cases ahead of mine, or 100 or 1000? The only way I can get information is to send them a certified letter and when I do that, I get nothing in return but a form letter. I don’t think it is too much to ask to be treated like a real person and told real information.
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Have you contacted your diocese by phone…that is what my wife did a few times…she was told at what point the annulment proces was at…it may not be much help to you but at least it’s better than waiting for a letter…from what my wife was told the fact that your application was accepted is a good sign…it is very frustrating…just hang in there and keep praying…my wife was confirmed just before Easter this year…we also had our marriage convalidated in a small ceremony just after mass that same day…it took 17 months all told…I believe the process is now a bit shorter…God bless
 
Peebo said:
Have you contacted your diocese by phone…that is what my wife did a few times…she was told at what point the annulment proces was at…it may not be much help to you but at least it’s better than waiting for a letter…from what my wife was told the fact that your application was accepted is a good sign…it is very frustrating…just hang in there and keep praying…my wife was confirmed just before Easter this year…we also had our marriage convalidated in a small ceremony just after mass that same day…it took 17 months all told…I believe the process is now a bit shorter…God bless
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We are not allowed to contact them by phone, email, fax etc. The only way we are allowed to contact them is by US Mail.

I realize it takes a long time, and I am okay with that. I just think they could be a little more compassionate and understanding in informing petitioners of the progress of their case other than a form letter
 
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