Annulments/support group

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I found this website today while researching annulments and convalidations. After finding this thread, I registered. So, this is my first post. I am a Baptist married to a Catholic. We celebrated 25 years two days ago. My anniversary present to her is explained below.

When I was young, I married a non-Catholic. We were married by a family friend who was a Methodist preacher. We divorced after two years. Five years later I met my wife. While preparing for our marriage, the annulment process came up. I was mildly surprised to find out that two Baptists married by a Methodist would need an annulment through the Catholic church. The problem was I could not locate my ex-spouse. My wife and I went through a civil ceremony and for several years, I ran ads in newspapers trying to locate my ex-spouse. We had to begin the process from scratch a couple of times due to moving (we were military). We finally gave up.

Last year, my ex-spouse located me via the internet. She has agreed to sign all the paperwork. So, on our 25th anniversary, I got down on one knee and asked my wife to renew our vows in the Church (by the way, she said yes). Now, we get to begin the whole process over again. We are starting the annulment process followed by the convalidation process.

I apologize for the length of this post. I may come here from time to time for help, assistance or answers. I thank you all in advance for any help.
 
I am proud of you for setting this straight for her. That is awesome your first wife contacted you and agreed.

Oh yes, and there is also a group set up under the groups tab above that includes a divorce/annulment support group.
forums.catholic-questions.org/group.php?groupid=958

If you have trouble getting there by using my link Joanofarc2008 has a link you can use.

peace.
 
Thanks, I have already requested to join the group. I saw the post about it in this thread. That is when I registered, so I decided to go ahead and post as well.
 
I just sent you a pm and approved your request. Welcome and God bless.
 
ramblingman said:
I found this website today while researching annulments and convalidations. After finding this thread, I registered. So, this is my first post. I am a Baptist married to a Catholic. We celebrated 25 years two days ago. My anniversary present to her is explained below.

When I was young, I married a non-Catholic. We were married by a family friend who was a Methodist preacher. We divorced after two years. Five years later I met my wife. While preparing for our marriage, the annulment process came up. I was mildly surprised to find out that two Baptists married by a Methodist would need an annulment through the Catholic church. The problem was I could not locate my ex-spouse. My wife and I went through a civil ceremony and for several years, I ran ads in newspapers trying to locate my ex-spouse. We had to begin the process from scratch a couple of times due to moving (we were military). We finally gave up.

Last year, my ex-spouse located me via the internet. She has agreed to sign all the paperwork. So, on our 25th anniversary, I got down on one knee and asked my wife to renew our vows in the Church (by the way, she said yes). Now, we get to begin the whole process over again. We are starting the annulment process followed by the convalidation process.

I apologize for the length of this post. I may come here from time to time for help, assistance or answers. I thank you all in advance for any help.
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Best of luck with it all! I pray that it will be a really quick and painless process for you. I had my annulment approved late last year (the whole process took about 18 months) and my current husband and I convalidated our marriage last November. Any questions, feel free to ask! 😃
 
Hi Lightbee, I am glad to see you are doing okay. It is great that you are still around to help others. I also like that Joan is around to help too. We are the old timers who have had the experience of getting our annulments.

I am still around to give support to anybody that shows up at this topic. I chose to use the name of Astoria because one day I wasn’t able to sign-in. But I am still LALUCIA.lol.

Ramblingman, welcome to our topic of annulments. It does take approx one year and some months to get an annulment approved. I think in positive terms.
My advise to you is to try to remember your first marriage and also your childhood and what your life was like as a child growing up. Try to remember your flaws and thoughts of
your early years before and after marriage. You will notice that the marriage was never
meant to be. It was a serious mistake in your life.
You will feel the pain when you remember the bad times you have had in your life. LaLucia
 
Rambling man, I think you should tell us what city and state or country you live in so we can better help you because some cities and states move a lot faster and some are slow as molasses like in Los Angeles. I heard that Houston, Texas, is faster in giving people a reply of yes or no.
My friend Lightbee is in Australia. It took her a long time to get her annulment.

Some people will tell you what their experience was time-wise in getting things done.

Each Archdiocese may have their own way of doing the process of the paperwork.
But they all have to follow the rules of our Pope at the Vatican.

My advise is that everytime someone calls you or you call someone at the Archdiocese
make sure you write down their name, and date of the contact.

Don’t be afraid to ask questions. They are there to help you. The ADVOCATE assigned to you is supposed to be supportive in answering your questions. Ask him to send you written information on the process of an annulment.

The reason for writing the date of the phone call is because it may seem forever in waiting for an answer. It may have been just one week of waiting.lol.

Your Tribunal Office has workers that may go on vacation for a month and that slows down the process. Sometimes papers get lost or your witnesses take their time in submitting their papers to the Tribunal Office.

My advise is to be prepared to wait as time passes for an answer. The workers at the Tribunal Office work for God and were not trained to take care of business as fast as
they can. You may get stressed out and want to quite the process. I used to get really stressed out as months passed. Then one day I got the good news in a letter. YEAH!
Astoria/LaLucia
 
Astoria said:
I heard that Houston, Texas, is faster in giving people a reply of yes or no.
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Hi Astoria,
I saw your note above about Houston, which is where I reside, and I just submitted my formal petition in February. I received a letter that they received my paperwork on Feb. 24th and am now waiting to see if they will accept or reject my case. I hope this goes as quickly as possible, though I am afraid that my former spouse will try to slow down the process as much as he can. One question that I have, and no one else has been able to answer, is what is the timeframe given to the respondent to answer if they will respond or not? I know that if my ex chooses to participate fully, he can only help the case (unless he lies about our entire relationship). I’m sure the timeframe varies from diocese to diocese… I’m just looking for a range. I know he will also provide witnesses, which will slow everything down even more. I know that I need to persevere in patience… please pray for me and for my former spouse! It took me four months just to complete the questionnaire! Thank you so much for this thread. God bless you…
 
In my diocese, a respondent is sent a letter asking for a reply within 15 days, but they wait for thirty days. Then if there is no response, they send another letter and wait another 30 days. After two months and two letters unanswered, they proceed.
 
EvelynEVF said:
In my diocese, a respondent is sent a letter asking for a reply within 15 days, but they wait for thirty days. Then if there is no response, they send another letter and wait another 30 days. After two months and two letters unanswered, they proceed.
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Thank you for your answer! Now I at least have a time frame! 🙂
 
It just occurred to me… if my former spouse decides to participate fully, how long would he likely be given to complete the questionnaire? It took me a long time to complete it myself and he’s not a proactive person, so he would most likely wait until the last minute.
 
My ex was given the same soft deadline I was. Most of what I remember is 15 to 30 days but they wait as long as it takes.
 
Love to Hope, You could tell your ex-spouse that he doesn’t need to fill out the questionaire fully or not at all. If he chooses not to get envovled then he will not need the three witnesses on his side. He can just sign the questionaire and mail it to the Tribunal
and say he prefers not to get envovled. All he has to say is his marriage was not blessed by God and he has already moved on in his life. But if your ex-spouse is very vindictive and he wants to slow down the annulment… the Tribunal will notice that he is not willing to cooperate and will put pressure on him to give them an answer. HE MUST give them
some kind of answer. Don’t try to move the paper work faster without him because the
Tribunal will wait for an answer from him. Maybe you need to have a meeting with him.
If he is hostile towards you then forget the meeting.

Are you aware that he can just talk to your Advocate assigned to your case instead of filling out the questionaire? The Advocate will just ask him a few questions over the phone and it will be accepted by the Tribunal.
I don’t think he will want to answer all those questions on the form over and over. It will be easier for him just to talk on the phone with the Advocate.

You may have problems with your 3 witnesses being super slow in filling out their questionaire. One of my sisters was super slow. She took months to fill it out.
I had to take her out to lunch and have a talk with her about how important it was for
me. I gave her the money to send the paper by priority mail.

If the Tribunal mails you any more forms for your priest to fill out…make sure you mail it by priority mail. That is what I did to make sure the Tribunal got the papers.
Don’t let your Priest tell you his office worker will mail it for you. I have heard of Priest who put the paper work on their desk and it stays there for months.
Try to take control as much as possible.

The Houston Tribunal is fast because in Los Angeles it took months before they contacted me. I will pray for you that you get your annulment. Pray to your ex-husbands
angels to talk to him about the importance of the annulment that will set him free to marry again in the Catholic Church if he is Catholic.

You can send me a private message if you like. Astoria/LaLucia
 
The Houston Tribunal is fast because in Los Angeles it took months before they contacted me. I will pray for you that you get your annulment. Pray to your ex-husbands
angels to talk to him about the importance of the annulment that will set him free to marry again in the Catholic Church if he is Catholic
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This is not what it is about - it is never about setting some free to marry again. It is about finding the truth and making a decision based on the truth. If one is free to marry based on the truth so be it. If not so be it. It is this kind of attitude that sets the Traditionalists against the process and i would caution you against using these words as they are also contra to Church doctrine.
 
Hello Joan, I know you are trying to help people with their Annulments and Divorces.

My topic is only on “ANNULMENTS” and doesn’t include “Divorces”. Your group does include divorces. That is the difference.

If you would like to be helpful to Ms. Love to Hope, then feel free to give her your advise
on this topic of Annulments. I do understand the whole process of Annulments and I also understand that the truth is very important or else the Annulment is useless and is just a piece of paper.
I have only said a few words to Ms. Love toHope. There is so much more information she
needs to learn about the Sacrament of Marriage and to find out if her marriage was truly
blessed by God or Not.

I have noticed for a long time that you like to take people away from this thread to go to
your thread. It doesn’t bother me because you are helping people. I am also helping people here too in my own way the best I can.
By using the term “ANNULMENTS”… people find me and then you show up and invite them to your “Annulments and Divorce group”.lol. All I can say to you is thank you for caring enough to come here and help people with your advise at your THREAD.

If you decide to complain about me to the moderators and they decide to shut me down
then it is not my lose but the lose of the people who truly need help. You will nolonger be able to hijack them to your topic.lol. I will be free to move on in my life with God’s blessings. I am in God’s Grace. LaLucia/Astoria
 
First of all - I do not have a thread. I have a built a closed group with the guidance of the Holy Spirit that stays in obedience to the Magisterium. This includes having the counsel of a Canon Lawyer who does not give advice for the divorce part of it but does give plenty of information on Annulments. I am sure the information he gives is much more accurate and faithful to the Magisterium than your own. If you do not choose to set up a group then that is on you and your open to the opinions of others on the open forum. However, if others decide they wish to join a group where they can be supported, receive accurate information, receive ministry from those that are trained to do so, and do all of this in a way that is faithful to Holy Mother Church then that is most certainly their decision. Over 200 people at this point have made that decision and I am sure the majority did not come from your thread.
 
joanofarc2008 said:
First of all - I do not have a thread. I have a built a closed group with the guidance of the Holy Spirit that stays in obedience to the Magisterium. This includes having the counsel of a Canon Lawyer who does not give advice for the divorce part of it but does give plenty of information on Annulments. I am sure the information he gives is much more accurate and faithful to the Magisterium than your own. If you do not choose to set up a group then that is on you and your open to the opinions of others on the open forum. However, if others decide they wish to join a group where they can be supported, receive accurate information, receive ministry from those that are trained to do so, and do all of this in a way that is faithful to Holy Mother Church then that is most certainly their decision. Over 200 people at this point have made that decision and I am sure the majority did not come from your thread.
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:eek: That many people on CAF are seeking an annulment? Whoops, maybe some are just there to support. 🤷 + Spam members of course.
 
kelvinf said:
:eek: That many people on CAF are seeking an annulment? Whoops, maybe some are just there to support. 🤷 + Spam members of course.
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It’s a wide variety–including people who are Catholics in the pews, those attempting to convert who had no idea what a can of worms divorce and remarriage would be, reverts, second spouses who need help to support a partner who married them in good faith and then they find out later that’s this isn’t okay. Etc. So it’s not so much 200 people seeking annulments as it is 200 people who are affected by the process one way or another and need support and clear information.
 
EvelynEVF said:
It’s a wide variety–including people who are Catholics in the pews, those attempting to convert who had no idea what a can of worms divorce and remarriage would be, reverts, second spouses who need help to support a partner who married them in good faith and then they find out later that’s this isn’t okay. Etc. So it’s not so much 200 people seeking annulments as it is 200 people who are affected by the process one way or another and need support and clear information.
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That is correct - it is a closed group. If I can’t tell from someone’s past posts what their situation is I send them a message inquiring before allowing their request. Usually it is limited to those going through divorce and/or decree of nullity, those civilly married to someone going through decree of nullity, or a close family member or friend. The two other notable exceptions would be the Canon lawyer that volunteers his time and the one person who had experience in a specific special needs ministry that was causing a barrier to the process for a member. She was recruited in to help out. It is all about reaching out and helping where help is needed. I think that many times many of us don’t know how many people are touched by this because there is still such stigma. I myself have chosen not to share publicly in my new parish that I am divorced unless I receive my decree of nullity because of the public ministry I do. I do share on a personal basis if someone is in need of hearing that but I do so very sparingly.
 
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