Annulments/support group

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Joan, I think it is wonderful that you have created a support group and are helping lots of people. But I don’t like it that you come into my “open” to everybody support group that is only for Annulments and judge me on what special support of advise I give to each person. It is not my job to teach people about our Catholic religion. This is why they have priests to teach them. There are also Bible classes and Catechism classes they can take to understand the sacrament of marriage and other things they need to learn.

I don’t give mis-information, I give support and hope to people. If you think you are better than me that is your problem but please just stay away from my topic if you don’t like what I say to people. They are adults and they can think for themselves and know what their needs are and they can take my advise or throw it out.

I expect the person’s priest and their Parish to teach people about the sacrament of marriage and also everything there is to know about the Catholic religion. I learned a lot
by attending a Catholic Bible class for 2 years at my parish. I also read lots of books
on the Catholic religion. I also attended Catholic schools since I was 6yrs.old.

My adult son has been teaching Catechism for more than 8yrs. at his parish to adults and their children and to high school teens. I have also read up on some of the new canon laws that was available through my Archdocese of Los Angeles. I had to check to see which canon laws my annulment case fit under. I was able to quote which canon laws applied to my case when I first applied. If I had felt I needed a canon lawyer I would have hired one. I do encourage people with complicated cases to hire a canon lawyer. They are available from their Tribunal Offices.

I also expect the Tribunal Office and their canon lawyers to make the decisions on
each person’s case. It is not my job to do that. My goal is just to give people HOPE,
& POSITIVE THOUGHTS. Most of the time people just want to know how long it takes
to get an Annulment. They want to know the process that they have to go through.

God decides who qualifies for an annulment. I don’t make that decision.
I do have the information on the process of an Annulment and it was through the prayers and support group that helped me to survive a dreadful ordeal of waiting and waiting until finnally I got my Annulment last year. It was a painful emotional process for me and others who also got their annulments aproved by God.

I am here to support others and just give advise on the process of annulments. I am not here to judge them. You really don’t know me at all. LaLucia/Astoria
 
Hi, I am currently in the RCIA program and am awaiting my annulment to be approved. Hopefully it will be an easy process. It is a ligamen case. My husband (non catholic) is also having to have his first marriage annulled as well and that is where it becomes complicated. He is from Australia and his first wife (catholic) is from Australia as well. We currently live in GA and he is applying for his annulment from here. Has anyone in this group ever had to go through the annulment process when the parties are in different countries before? We have sent her an email letting her know that he is applying for an annulment but she will not respond. Her first marriage was annulled. Big thank you to the Metropolitan Tribunal in Melbourne. They sent over a copy of her annulment papers to my priest in 2 days!! I know that I am in for a very long wait but it will be well worth it. I was just wondering if anyone else has been in this “international” situation before.
 
Hello Miriam, It is a small world with computers now. One of our members… her username is “Lightbee”… and she is from Australia. She got her annulment approved.

My advise is to have the Tribunal Office send her the Annulment questionaire papers for her to fill out and sign. SHE MUST GIVE A REPLY to the Atlanta Tribunal Office.
She can just say that she doesn’t want to answer questions or get envovled with the Annulement. But she must sign the Questionare and have it notorized.

My ex chose not to answer the questionaire. He just signed it and mailed it back
to the Tribunal. My advocate that was assigned to me wanted my ex spouse to give a response to help my case but I knew I had a good case and didn’t need any information
from him.

The main reason for her to do that is because if she doesn’t answer back she can always open up the case saying she objects to the annulment and you will not get it.
This is why it is very important for her to give a reply directly to the Tribunal Office.

It doesn’t really matter what country she lives in because you must have her address and that is all you need. Tribunals today just use telephones and snail mail. The snails are going to make you wait. You must be patient.
Learn to send your papers by Prority mail.
Since she is Catholic I hope she will want to do the right thing and make the process go smoothly. She knows the annulment will set her free to marry again if she wants to do that.
I am using simple words because that is who I am. I know RCIA is teaching you a lot and you have already learned about the sacrament of marriage.

Ask your Advocate assigned to you to send you a brochure of the process of the annulment. I think they may call it the Nulity Process. Also read up on some of the canon laws that the Tribunal Office should have from our Popes. It is written in simple words.

Your RCIA can also be helpful to you in knowing where to search for more information on annulment reasons. Find out which priest or deacon is the one that has helped people with their annulments. There are several books written on Annulments too. PEACE, LALUCIA/ASTORIA
 
Astoria said:
Hello Miriam, It is a small world with computers now. One of our members… her username is “Lightbee”… and she is from Australia. She got her annulment approved.

My advise is to have the Tribunal Office send her the Annulment questionaire papers for her to fill out and sign. SHE MUST GIVE A REPLY to the Atlanta Tribunal Office.
She can just say that she doesn’t want to answer questions or get envovled with the Annulement. But she must sign the Questionare and have it notorized.

My ex chose not to answer the questionaire. He just signed it and mailed it back
to the Tribunal. My advocate that was assigned to me wanted my ex spouse to give a response to help my case but I knew I had a good case and didn’t need any information
from him.

The main reason for her to do that is because if she doesn’t answer back she can always open up the case saying she objects to the annulment and you will not get it.
This is why it is very important for her to give a reply directly to the Tribunal Office.

It doesn’t really matter what country she lives in because you must have her address and that is all you need. Tribunals today just use telephones and snail mail. The snails are going to make you wait. You must be patient.
Learn to send your papers by Prority mail.
Since she is Catholic I hope she will want to do the right thing and make the process go smoothly. She knows the annulment will set her free to marry again if she wants to do that.
I am using simple words because that is who I am. I know RCIA is teaching you a lot and you have already learned about the sacrament of marriage.

Ask your Advocate assigned to you to send you a brochure of the process of the annulment. I think they may call it the Nulity Process. Also read up on some of the canon laws that the Tribunal Office should have from our Popes. It is written in simple words.

Your RCIA can also be helpful to you in knowing where to search for more information on annulment reasons. Find out which priest or deacon is the one that has helped people with their annulments. There are several books written on Annulments too. PEACE, LALUCIA/ASTORIA
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This is not entirely true. If the ex-spouse does not reply there are procedures in place. What MUST happen is that there must be an attempt at contact made that is outlined by certain procedures within the Tribunal.
 
Joan, Don’t be calling me a liar. What I have to say to Miriam is true information because she does know where the ex-spouse lives. If the address was unknown that is a different story. The ex-spouse is traceable.

I wish you would just stay out of this thread and leave me alone. The people that come here just want info. on Annulments and not divorce. Please be happy with the 200 people you already have and stop harrassing me.

If you want to take people from this thread to your thread then do it but don’t call me a liar. You don’t know what I know and each case is different.

I think you must be seeing things in a distorted manner and mis-interpret what I have to say to people.

Why don’t you put your energy into getting your own annulment instead of bothering me
with your mean comments. You are not an expert on this case. I never said I was either.
But at least I am trying to help people to meet the needs and questions that they have.
I don’t need to educate you on annulments. I save my energy to help others.
I don’t think it is nice of you to challenge me to an arguement. I will not debate or argue with you. You are very mean spirited against me. PEACE, LA LUCIA
 
Whoa! Please permit me to offer a clarification. It is not 100% necessary that the former spouse respond to the tribunal. S/he would only have the right to turn up when it’s over and fight a decree, IF due diligence was not done to find him or her.

So no petitioner can pretend not to know where the respondent is, in order to prevent that testimony. If there is no current address, the tribunal will ask for former addresses and contact info for family members, in order to do everything reasonably possible to track the person down.

If s/he is in a known location and simply ignores the documents received, they would be sent one or two more times, with specific time limits. If there is still no reply, it is assumed that no (name removed by moderator)ut is desired and the case proceeds.

So it is NOT mandatory that the spouse “do the right thing” and respond positively, though I’m sure that makes the case quicker than either ignoring or disputing.
 
Astoria said:
The main reason for her to do that is because if she doesn’t answer back she can always open up the case saying she objects to the annulment and you will not get it.
This is why it is very important for her to give a reply directly to the Tribunal Office.

PEACE, LALUCIA/ASTORIA
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There, that’s the part I wanted to clarify.
 
No one is calling you a liar. However, out of Christian Charity there is an obligation to correct errors when they are promulgated. It is not personal and has nothing to do with anything nor is it about divorce vs annulment. The point is that no one owns a thread and if there are errors they should be corrected. Even if the address is not known the tribunal will have a set procedure as to how that should be handled.
 
Evelyn, you are so right because I also know that information. The person I was giving the information to does KNOW the ex-spouse address. I was trying in saving her some time by making sure she gets some kind of response from the ex-spouse whether sp she is interested in saying something or not in the case. The Tribunal Office will know whether the ex-spouse is interested or not in getting envovled in the case.

Joan is distorting information by saying that if the ex-spouse is not found. In this case the ex-spouse is well known and found. So I am correct in the information I gave to the OP.

Joan, I don’t own this thread… everybody can join in and give their imput.

Next time someone asks a question I will let you answer the question. I will stay out of it.
I may choose to leave since you are a thorn on my side and get me upset in saying I am giving mis-information. I am not giving mis-information. Lucia
 
Evelyn, you are so right because I also know that information. The person I was giving the information to does KNOW the ex-spouse address. I was trying in saving her some time by making sure she gets some kind of response from the ex-spouse whether she is interested in saying something or not in the case.

LaLucia, I’m confused. I’m glad that you know the correct information and want to save the petitioner time, but you wrote earlier, "The main reason for her to do that is because if she doesn’t answer back she can always open up the case saying she objects to the annulment and you will not get it. and that is very different from what you are saying now.

I am not giving mis-information. Lucia

But you did. You wrote that the respondent not replying to the Tribunal would give her the right to “always open up the case” and would result in “you will not get it.” and that is not correct.

I really appreciate that you want to support people who are in the process, because at the parish level there isn’t always good support. This may be the best place they can find where people understand that declarations of nullity aren’t a Catholic divorce, and that it’s a good thing to follow Catholic teaching even when it’s hard. So thank you for being here! No one wants to chase you away from the thread, because you play an important role.
 
I really don’t know why you guys keep fighting on these threads. This goes right back to the old thread.

I tend to believe that married couples are mature enough to contact their parishes and get the necessary information they need regarding this topic. I would have thought that these threads/groups (I think there are at least 2 groups on this topic here) mainly serve to console those who are going through difficulties and maybe provide first level support (resources).

There is absolutely no reason to be fighting or trying to be dominant.

Peace and happy Holy Thursday! And Good Friday, Holy Saturday and Easter in advance. 🙂
 
Actually there is one group. The other group is pretty much defunct due to technical issues. There really is not a fight. There is some discussion because some of the information is not correct. For decades there were people that left the Church or lived outside of communion due to misinformation. Something like 19% of people that leave the Church do so because of divorce. So I do appreciate that in a theoretically perfect world where everyone acts in a pastoral manner and does not give out information that they don’t have there would be no reason for groups. However, it is not a theoretically perfect world and by the way the group itself is not just a support group - there is a Canon lawyer involved due to the amount of miscommunication of information (notice I did not say misinformation) that needs to be sorted through.
 
Hello, I’m new here and I’ll be going through this process soon. I’m not really looking forward to it but I feel it must be done.

I’ve also just joined the annulment group on here. Is there anywhere else I should be or look to for information on this procedure?

Thank you!
 
My former spouse was contacted at least twice by the Tribunal of the Diocese of Fresno and he did not respond. The annulment was granted within 6 months despite his negligence. My pastor told me that there was a stipulation attached to the annulment which is that my former spouse would have to receive counseling if he ever wished to marry in the Church.
 
I’m sure mine will participate, he loves to spin stories and play the poor victim. I can hardly wait! :rolleyes:
 
This is my first post on Catholic Answers. I should see if I’m doing this right before I go on a long tirade about my life. I was happy to find a way to interact with other Catholics specifically about this particular issue. A Catholic Annulment has suddenly become a subject of intense interest to me. I am full of questions and pinning perhaps an out of proportion amount of importance on understanding why…why an annulment after the divorce is final? Knowing the role that God now wants me to play in the life the man I thought I’d been assigned to for 38 years is something I need to understand now, not later. It make no sense. I took comfort in the words of my confessor who explained in my darkest hour that I needn’t fear a lonely life. He said, “You’ll divorce, get a Catholic annulment, then you’re free to fall in love and marry again.” He added “For now, your happiness will be found in seeing to the needs of your daughters.” I’ve drawn more hope from those words than any others I’ve heard since …Oooops! I was going to check to make sure I was doing this right. I’ll post this and see what happens. For all I know I’m center stage on wrong platform. I’m not that great with computers.
 
I do believe you’re posting in the right spot Mindy 🙂

Welcome to this forum!
 
Hello Sacredcello, I am happy to see that your annulment was approved.

Hello Blueviolets and Mindy, Welcome to this “Annulment” topic. We all come here to support eachother. I also had my annulment approved last year and I am glad to
help others to get their annulments. My main goal is to say that it is a painful process
of applying for an annulment. I am here to give you both all the support I can give you.

People always asks how long does it take to get an annulment. It depends on a lot of things like how fast your witnesses and your exspouse responds to the Tribunal Office.
Plus, if you live in a large city like I do which is Los Angeles County… it takes a long time.
It took me one year and half. Some cities are faster.

My main advise is to not rush in answering the questionaire. Some of the questions are
repeated over and over. I guess it is to open up your rememberance of what happened
years ago in your life which also includes your childhood days and what you noticed around you. As time passes you will start to remember lots of things that you had forgotten.
Ask your Advocate that will be assigned to you for a brochure that will show you the procedure of getting an annulment. You can also go to the Los Angeles Archdiocese,
Tribunal Office website and you will find lots of info. from Pope Benedict on the subject of Annulments. You will also find some of the canon laws that you may fit under.

There will also be others here who will also be giving you advise. God Bless, Astoria
 
Astoria said:
Hello Sacredcello, I am happy to see that your annulment was approved.

Hello Blueviolets and Mindy, Welcome to this “Annulment” topic. We all come here to support eachother. I also had my annulment approved last year and I am glad to
help others to get their annulments. My main goal is to say that it is a painful process
of applying for an annulment. I am here to give you both all the support I can give you.

People always asks how long does it take to get an annulment. It depends on a lot of things like how fast your witnesses and your exspouse responds to the Tribunal Office.
Plus, if you live in a large city like I do which is Los Angeles County… it takes a long time.
It took me one year and half. Some cities are faster.

My main advise is to not rush in answering the questionaire. Some of the questions are
repeated over and over. I guess it is to open up your rememberance of what happened
years ago in your life which also includes your childhood days and what you noticed around you. As time passes you will start to remember lots of things that you had forgotten.
Ask your Advocate that will be assigned to you for a brochure that will show you the procedure of getting an annulment. You can also go to the Los Angeles Archdiocese,
Tribunal Office website and you will find lots of info. from Pope Benedict on the subject of Annulments. You will also find some of the canon laws that you may fit under.

There will also be others here who will also be giving you advise. God Bless, Astoria
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You are not kidding. I sat in front of the computer crying answering the questionnaire for a full week. I don’t know if I got out of my pajamas. Of course, I applied for annulment as soon as the divorce was final, so it was all still fresh. But, it would be painful, no matter how much time had passed.

13 years later, I am not happily and validly married, after having self-taught myself many of things that I should have learned in RCIA, but did not. Including the reasons for the Church teaching on contraception and purpose of marriage being to raise children and educate them in the faith, etc. It’s not the fault of the individual RCIA volunteer instructors, as we had some very good speakers who were asked to speak on a variety of topics. But, where were we supposed to hear it? Now, my husband and I are NFP instructors and it just hit me that we should get with the RCIA director at our church and see about doing an intro to NFP for them.
 
sacredcello said:
Now, my husband and I are NFP instructors and it just hit me that we should get with the RCIA director at our church and see about doing an intro to NFP for them.
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Oh, please do!! Because you’re exactly right—where else are they going to hear it?
 
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