L
lovedance4ever
Guest
I’m a twenty, almost twenty-one year old girl, and I have been struggling with what I imagine are anorexic tendencies. Before I further explain, I am NOT self diagnosing; I have started seeing a counselor, and have an appointment with my GP regarding this issue
As I am sure you have noticed from my username, I was a dancer (primarily ballet) for ten years. I always had a bit of a weight problem, but being that my instructors said that I was good enough to pursue a career as a professional, I knew that I needed to try my best to lose as much weight as I could.
I went from trying to make healthy choices, to starving myself and purging, all while I was dancing roughly twenty or more hours per week in addition to my schoolwork. I lost twenty pounds and I began to like my body a little more than before, and my teachers seemed to be satisfied (though they didn’t know what I was doing). But as this went on, I passed out twice during my dance classes on several occasions, and they caught on and threatened to tell my mom, which I did NOT want.
This all came to a halt when I injured my spine so severely that I had to quit dance. Due to inactivity, I put on all the weight that I had lost, AND some…which brings me to my current problem.
I desperately want to be skinny. I detest my body, I think I am the ugliest sight anyone could ever lay eyes upon…I’m not exaggerating, this is what goes through my mind. It pains me to look in the mirror…it pains me to receive any kind of compliment…all because I feel hideous and fat. Problem is, it’s not that I can just diet. Dieting brings on so much anxiety for me. I lost sixty pounds in 2012 by eating as little as I could and exercising several hours per day. But I worked myself so hard that I incurred yet another injury, preventing me from doing my workout…and AGAIN gaining back the weight.
I just don’t know what to do. I do need to lose weight. But every time I try, I make myself physically ill; I count calories so obsessively that if I go over even by the littlest bit, I will freak out and cry and worry that I will put more weight on. I don’t eat past 5pm, and if I do, even if it’s a piece of fruit, I start panicking. Also, I never feel like I am exercising enough. I will do an hour of kickboxing, but feel like I need to do more…I like to burn more calories than I eat. My mother has hidden the scale from me…that’s how bad it is.
Please pray for me; I simply do not know what to do anymore. I want to diet, but I know if I do, I will go over the edge. I’ve been skipping meals lately…it makes me sick to think about eating food, so I eat one meal per day of about 300-500 calories and then I feel less anxiety. But if I eat the recommended 1200-1500 calories, I’m constantly worried and scared.
Pleas pray I can be healed from this. I need help. I didn’t think it would ever get this bad.
As I am sure you have noticed from my username, I was a dancer (primarily ballet) for ten years. I always had a bit of a weight problem, but being that my instructors said that I was good enough to pursue a career as a professional, I knew that I needed to try my best to lose as much weight as I could.
I went from trying to make healthy choices, to starving myself and purging, all while I was dancing roughly twenty or more hours per week in addition to my schoolwork. I lost twenty pounds and I began to like my body a little more than before, and my teachers seemed to be satisfied (though they didn’t know what I was doing). But as this went on, I passed out twice during my dance classes on several occasions, and they caught on and threatened to tell my mom, which I did NOT want.
This all came to a halt when I injured my spine so severely that I had to quit dance. Due to inactivity, I put on all the weight that I had lost, AND some…which brings me to my current problem.
I desperately want to be skinny. I detest my body, I think I am the ugliest sight anyone could ever lay eyes upon…I’m not exaggerating, this is what goes through my mind. It pains me to look in the mirror…it pains me to receive any kind of compliment…all because I feel hideous and fat. Problem is, it’s not that I can just diet. Dieting brings on so much anxiety for me. I lost sixty pounds in 2012 by eating as little as I could and exercising several hours per day. But I worked myself so hard that I incurred yet another injury, preventing me from doing my workout…and AGAIN gaining back the weight.
I just don’t know what to do. I do need to lose weight. But every time I try, I make myself physically ill; I count calories so obsessively that if I go over even by the littlest bit, I will freak out and cry and worry that I will put more weight on. I don’t eat past 5pm, and if I do, even if it’s a piece of fruit, I start panicking. Also, I never feel like I am exercising enough. I will do an hour of kickboxing, but feel like I need to do more…I like to burn more calories than I eat. My mother has hidden the scale from me…that’s how bad it is.
Please pray for me; I simply do not know what to do anymore. I want to diet, but I know if I do, I will go over the edge. I’ve been skipping meals lately…it makes me sick to think about eating food, so I eat one meal per day of about 300-500 calories and then I feel less anxiety. But if I eat the recommended 1200-1500 calories, I’m constantly worried and scared.
Pleas pray I can be healed from this. I need help. I didn’t think it would ever get this bad.

