another confession question

[Whitacre_Girl]

I’m sure this has been answered before, I just can’t find a thread that deals with this specific question.

Basically, here is the situation.

What happens if someone goes to confession for a sin. They feel bad about it, confess it, serve their penance, and begin to move on. Then, for whatever reason, after the confession they are made aware that the sin they committed hurt others and themselves far more than they realized and they are filled with an even greater sorrow for that sin. They apologize deeply to those who they hurt and vow in their heart never to even think about such a sin again. Does that person need to go back to the confessional for that sin and confess the sin with the whole gravity of that sin now on their mind? If not, how does one deal with the immense guilt still left behind?

Bearing in mind that the matter of this sin is indeed grave (if not mortal), but the person never felt the gravity of that until after the confession was made, but still knew their sin was indeed severe at the time of confession.

 

[Cathryn]

The sin was forgiven and should not be confessed again. Our sins are not self contained, many have consequences out of our control. We should have sorrow for the sins of our whole life, but trust in God’s forgiveness.

 

[Monica4316]

This has happened to me before…

I think if it really bothers the person, they might want to talk about it at their next Confession (while making it clear that they confessed the sin)

but I think it’s forgiven.

I mean… I’m sure we don’t realize the gravity of almost everything we do. We might only realize it at the Last Judgment. But we’ll still be forgiven because we confessed our sins here on earth

if it really bothers you, talk to your priest at your next confession

God bless

 

[Whitacre_Girl]

This has happened to me before…

I think if it really bothers the person, they might want to talk about it at their next Confession (while making it clear that they confessed the sin)

but I think it’s forgiven.

I mean… I’m sure we don’t realize the gravity of almost everything we do. We might only realize it at the Last Judgment. But we’ll still be forgiven because we confessed our sins here on earth

if it really bothers you, talk to your priest at your next confession

God bless

Thanks. I just somehow feel that confession isn’t enough for what I did, you know? I mean…it was really bad. I’ve been under a lot of stress and dealing with a lot of personal trauma. I had a breakdown and almost tried to kill myself. My husband had to hold me down and comfort me until I regained sanity. (I don’t acturally really remember most of this. Apparently it was a total breakdown). Hubby treated it very flippantly after it happened, and so I thought it wasn’t as bad as it was, but I knew it was severe. I went to confession and the priest spent the time explaining how terrible it was. I talked to my hsuband about it, but it took him about 3 months after it happened for him to break down into tears and tell me how bad it hurt him. We held each other and cried for about 4 hours that night. I swore to him that I’d stop pretending to be someone I was not, and just let go of everything and be who I really am. Since then I have allowed myself to be the bubbly airhead I really am, and I’ve been…SO Happy, despite all the terrible things that I have been through. SO has my husband. But I have finally realized how selfish it was to allow myself to sink into my own misery until I broke my brain. I begged my husband to forgive me, and agreed to make looking for a new therapist my top priority (it’s been hard…ugh no catholic therapists in the area and I had a BAD one before that just made things worse…) The problem is, I just can’t get over the harm I caused my husband by hurting his wife. By putting him through the trauma of watching his dearly beloved try to hurt herself because she lost her mind.

This is by far the worst sin I have ever committed. And I never realized that until we had our conversation almost 2 months after I confessed it. I’m honestly wrestling with how God can even forgive me, now that the gravity of it all has set in.

 

[Don9of11]

You certainly have gone through a great ordeal. Not only taxing on yourself but your spirit too. Be assured that your sin has been forgiven. God doesn’t take back what he gives and he has forgiven you. As for your husband and yourself, remember it’s for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health. Your actions had consequences and now both of you must work through them, build on them to make yourselves stronger. Remember God loves the sinner but he hates the sin.

 

[teachccd]

God cannot forgive partially or He would not be God. When you went to confession God did not forgive you conditionally meaning that your sin would remain until you fully understood the depths of its seriousness. No, God is love and the sin is immersed in that love and absolved. There are consequences of sin. The Church refers to these as temporal punishments due to sin and that is why we receive a penance. Your confessor should have given you a penance that correlated with your sins. And then purgatory is there for any attachment left for the forgiven sins that we may have.

You should not let this consume you. I would highly recommend that you speak to a priest ,not to confess this sin, but to discuss your understanding of the sacrament of reconciliation and its effects on your soul. You have been through a lot and while confession is very powerful in its healing effects, since it is God who forgives, you are only human and wrapping your mind around that type of mercy can be difficult. I will keep you in my prayers… teachccd

 

[Whitacre_Girl]

God cannot forgive partially or He would not be God. When you went to confession God did not forgive you conditionally meaning that your sin would remain until you fully understood the depths of its seriousness. No, God is love and the sin is immersed in that love and absolved. There are consequences of sin. The Church refers to these as temporal punishments due to sin and that is why we receive a penance. Your confessor should have given you a penance that correlated with your sins. And then purgatory is there for any attachment left for the forgiven sins that we may have.

You should not let this consume you. I would highly recommend that you speak to a priest ,not to confess this sin, but to discuss your understanding of the sacrament of reconciliation and its effects on your soul. You have been through a lot and while confession is very powerful in its healing effects, since it is God who forgives, you are only human and wrapping your mind around that type of mercy can be difficult. I will keep you in my prayers… teachccd

Thank you very much.

The confessor I went to actually was very light on the penance involved for what I feel is such a heinous act. He asked me to go and spend 5 minutes in the church down the road devoted to the Immaculate Conception and pray, particularly to Mary. I mean, it seems light to me, and when I talked to my husband about it he said that he did it for healing, not punishment as the priest knew that a lot of this stems from actions done to me by my mother, and he thinks the priest is helping me to connect with my spiritual mother in Christ. I felt it was too light at the time so I went to the chapel, said a rosary, the chaplet of divine mercy, then just prayed with my own words to several saints, Mary, and mostly Jesus. When I ran out of words, I just knelt there with my eyes closed and imagined Jesus holding me in his arms and I cried intermittently. I don’t think I left there for a good hour and a half.

 

[Monica4316]

:hug1: it sounds like you’ve been through so much with this. I wanted to tell you a little story. One time I had to confess possibly the worst thing I’ve ever done. I spent a week thinking and worrying about it, and as I was driving up to the church it was almost like a dream cause nothing felt real any more. I walked into the church shaking. I had to confess face to face cause the priest already saw me lol. Somehow, I got through the confession and I was afraid that he’d be shocked…but then he started talking, and I really felt like God just wanted to heal me. The priest said that if I could see Jesus right now, He wouldn’t be angry, but He would look at me with so much love in His eyes. I then realized that no matter what we do, that’s never enough to make God stop loving us. Remember how in the prodigal son story, the father ran to the son as he was coming back home? God wants to forgive us even more than we want to be forgiven.

It seems to me that what you want is more justice…is that correct? you feel horrible for what you’ve done and want a greater penance and it doesn’t make sense how God can still forgive. But this is how He is we expect justice, and He just gives us mercy. This is why He came to earth and died. There’s an abyss between God and the creature, and it’s even worse because of our sins. But the abyss is filled with His mercy… and Jesus is the perfect representation of this mercy. That’s why He was born as a little baby 2000 years ago and then died nailed to the Cross. What He wants most of all is to heal us, and for us to trust Him enough to receive His forgiveness.

Have you ever read about the Divine Mercy devotion? ewtn.com/devotionals/mercy/index.htm Jesus appeared to St Faustina and gave her this devotion and said “I do not want to punish mankind, but I desire to heal it, pressing it to My merciful Heart.”

God also understands the pain that caused you to do this. I think the fact that you feel contrition over this, rather than self pity, and are thinking of your husband, - that’s something I wish I had more. There was a time in my life when I went through a near breakdown too and said many things that upset my family. But for the longest time, I didn’t see that it hurt them and not just me. Now I feel very sad that I hurt them in this way. But try to open your heart to God’s forgiveness because I think He’s always very compassionate in times like these. Think of the Scriptures and how He was merciful to all the broken people and the contrite and the only ones who went away unforgiven were the proud Pharisees.

I think that it’s important that we are willing to be vulnerable with God. We need to allow Him to love us in our sin and in all the brokenness. Try to not hide all this from God, but come to Him with trust. St Therese said something that really encouraged me… she said:

“I am certain that, even if I had on my conscience every imaginable sin, I should lose nothing of my confidence, but would throw myself, heartbroken with sorrow, into the arms of my Saviour. I remember His love for the Prodigal Son; I have heard His words to Mary Magdalene, to the woman taken in adultery, and to the woman of Samaria. No, there is no one who could frighten me, for I know too well what to believe concerning His mercy and His love.”

His mercy is greater than our sins. When we go to Confession, we perhaps expect justice, but we just get His mercy, and perhaps a penance that we feel is way too small. In this way, God is trying to tell us that His mercy is endless and we can really trust Him… that we don’t have to argue with Him about our sinfulness. He knows it all already. Remember the only difference between St Peter and Judas, is that St Peter didn’t fall into despair and so went on to be an Apostle and even the first Pope. Trust God and let Him heal you

Think of the Cross. All the sins of the world were put upon Jesus on the Cross. That’s much more than just your one sin. It doesn’t make any sense to us why God would want to forgive His creatures of how they hurt Him, by letting them murder Him. (wow) But that’s what love is. Think of all the things that Jesus was ready to forgive on the Cross. It’s over, it is finished.

If it really bothers you, you can talk to the priest about it in your next confession and ask for advice… but don’t doubt God’s mercy

hugs

 

[Monica4316]

**The Goodness of God. **
The mercy of God, hidden in the Blessed Sacrament, the voice of the Lord who speaks to us from the throne of mercy: Come to Me, all of you.

*Conversation of the Merciful God with a Sinful Soul. *
Jesus: Be not afraid of your Savior, O sinful soul. I make the first move to come to you, for I know that by yourself you are unable to lift yourself to me. Child, do not run away from your Father; be willing to talk openly with Your God of mercy who wants to speak words of pardon and lavish his graces on you. How dear your soul is to Me! I have inscribed your name upon My hand; you are engraved as a deep wound in My Heart.

Soul: Lord I hear Your voice calling me to turn back from the path of sin, but I have neither the strength nor the courage to do so.

Jesus: I am your strength, I will help you in the struggle.

Soul: Lord I recognize Your holiness and I fear You.

Jesus: My child, do you fear the God of mercy? My holiness does not prevent Me from being merciful. Behold. for you I have established a throne of mercy on earth - the tabernacle - and from this throne I desire to enter into your heart. I am not surrounded by a retinue of guards. You can come to Me at any moment, at any time; I want to speak to you and desire to grant you grace.

Soul: Lord, I doubt that You will pardon my numerous sins; my misery fills me with fright.

Jesus: My mercy is greater than your sins and those of the entire World. Who can measure the extent of my goodness? For you I descended from heaven to earth; for you I allowed Myself to be nailed to the Cross; for you I let My Sacred Heart be pierced with a lance, thus opening wide the source of mercy for you. Come then, with trust to draw graces from this fountain. I never reject a contrite heart. Your misery has disappeared in the depths of My mercy. Do not argue with Me about your wretchedness. You will give me pleasure if you hand over to Me all your troubles and griefs. I shall heap upon you the treasures of My grace.

Soul: You have conquered, O Lord, my stony heart with Your goodness. In trust and humility I approach the tribunal of Your mercy, where You yourself absolve me by the hand of your representative. O Lord, I feel Your grace and Your peace filling my poor soul. I feel overwhelmed by Your mercy, O Lord. You forgive me, which is more than I dared to hope for or could imagine. Your goodness surpasses all my desires. And now, filled with gratitude for so many graces, I invite You to my heart. I wandered, like a prodigal child gone astray; but You did not cease to be my Father. Increase Your mercy toward me, for You see how weak I am.

Jesus: Child, speak no more of your misery; it is already forgotten. Listen, My child, to what I desire to tell you. Come close to My wounds and draw from the Fountain of Life whatever your heart desires. Drink copiously from the Fountain of Life and you will not weary on your journey. Look at the splendors of My mercy and do not fear the enemies of your salvation. Glorify My mercy.

(from St Faustina’s diary)

 

[Monica4316]

*Conversation of the Merciful God with a Despairing Soul. *

Jesus: O soul steeped in darkness, do not despair. All is not yet lost. Come and confide in your God, who is love and mercy.

But the soul, deaf even to this appeal, wraps itself in darkness.

Jesus calls out again: My child, listen to the voice of your merciful Father.
In the soul arises this reply, “For me there is no mercy,” and it falls into greater darkness, a despair which is a foretaste of hell and makes it unable to draw near to God.

Jesus calls to the souls a third time, but the soul remains deaf and blind, hardened and despairing. Then the mercy of God begins to exert itself, and, without any co-operation from the soul, God grants it final grace. If this too is spurned, God will leave the soul in this self chosen disposition for eternity. This grace emerges from the merciful Heart of Jesus and gives the soul a special light by means of which the soul begins to understand God’s effort; but conversion depends on its own will. The soul knows that this, for her, is final grace and, should it show even a flicker of good will, the mercy of God will accomplish the rest.

My omnipotent mercy is active here. Happy the soul that takes advantage of this grace.

Jesus: What joy fills My Heart when you return to Me. Because you are weak, I take you in My arms and carry you to the home of My Father.

Soul: (as if awakening, asks fearfully): Is it possible that there is yet mercy for me?

Jesus: There is, My child. You have a special claim on My mercy. Let it act in your poor soul; let the rays of grace enter your soul; they bring with them light, warmth, and life.

Soul: But fear fills me at the thought of my sins, and this terrible fear moves me to doubt Your goodness.

Jesus: My child, all your sins have not wounded My Heart as painfully as your present lack of trust does - that after so many efforts of My love and mercy, you should still doubt My goodness.

Soul: O Lord, save me yourself, for I perish. Be my Savior. O Lord, I am unable to say anything more; my pitiful heart is torn asunder; but You, O Lord…

Jesus does not let the soul finish but, raising it from the ground, from the depths of its misery, he leads it into the recesses of His Heart where all its sins disappear instantly, consumed by the flames of love.

Jesus: Here, soul, are all the treasures of My Heart. Take everything you need from it.
Soul: O Lord, I am inundated with Your grace. I sense that a new life has entered into me and, above all, I feel Your love in my heart. That is enough for me. O Lord, I will glorify the omnipotence of Your mercy for all eternity. Encouraged by Your goodness, I will confide to You all the sorrows of my heart.

Jesus: Tell Me all, My child, hide nothing from Me because My loving Heart, the Heart of Your Best Friend is listening to you.

Soul: O Lord, now I see all my ingratitude and Your goodness. You were pursuing me with Your grace, while I was frustrating Your benevolence. I see that I deserve the depths of hell for spurning Your graces.

Jesus (interrupting): Do not be absorbed in your misery - you are still too weak to speak of it - but, rather, gaze on My Heart filled with goodness, and be imbued with My sentiments. Strive for meekness and humility; be merciful to others, as I am to you; and, when you feel your strength failing, if you come to the fountain of mercy to fortify your soul, you will not grow weary on your journey.

Soul: Now I understand Your mercy, which protects me and like a brilliant star, leads me into the home of my Father, protecting me from all the horrors of hell that I have deserved, not once, but a thousand times. O Lord, eternity will hardly suffice for me to give due praise to Your unfathomable mercy and Your compassion for me.

 

[PJM]

=Whitacre_Girl;6108020]I’m sure this has been answered before, I just can’t find a thread that deals with this specific question.

Basically, here is the situation.

What happens if someone goes to confession for a sin. They feel bad about it, confess it, serve their penance, and begin to move on. Then, for whatever reason, after the confession they are made aware that the sin they committed hurt others and themselves far more than they realized and they are filled with an even greater sorrow for that sin. They apologize deeply to those who they hurt and vow in their heart never to even think about such a sin again. Does that person need to go back to the confessional for that sin and confess the sin with the whole gravity of that sin now on their mind? If not, how does one deal with the immense guilt still left behind?

Bearing in mind that the matter of this sin is indeed grave (if not mortal), but the person never felt the gravity of that until after the confession was made, but still knew their sin was indeed severe at the time of confession.

NO! Once forgiven, and the penance completed that is the complete removal of the sin.

However your point is valid. All sin is “public” in that it effects not just us, but those around us.

There is an absolute need for for “pay-back” for the effects of our sin, and it is this fact, more than dying with unconfessed venial sins, that lead one to Purgatory.

This pay-back can and does take many forms. Some specific to the actual sin, some not.

Charity, ADORATION TIME, good works, prayer, sacrifice, living the faith, sharing the faith all work towards “paying off this debt.”

Additionaly, the Sacred Annointing, the sacrament of the “Last Rites” like Baptism, removes all sin AND ALL the latent results of sin.

And if that is not enough God permits the Church to offer “Indulgences” [partial or total] specifically to pay off these debts.

For example: [All Indulgences have specific actions to be completed, tht can vary]…

Saying the Stations of the Cross with the intent of obtaining a PLENARY [FULL / COMPLETE] Indulgece and removal of all debt up to the time of the Indulgence, along with Mass and Holy Communion, Confession within a week, and saying a "Hail Mary, Our Father and a Glory-Be for the special intentions of the Pope, can if done worthly, remove all latent effects of sin right up to your earned Indulgence.

GOOGLE" Indulgences" for more information. Thyere are many more ways than the example provided. What an awesome God we have

 

[Monica4316]

NO! Once forgiven, and the penance completed that is the complete removal of the sin.

However your point is valid. All sin is “public” in that it effects not just us, but those around us.

There is an absolute need for for “pay-back” for the effects of our sin, and it is this fact, more than dying with unconfessed venial sins, that lead one to Purgatory.

This pay-back can and does take many forms. Some specific to the actual sin, some not.

Charity, ADORATION TIME, good works, prayer, sacrifice, living the faith, sharing the faith all work towards “paying off this debt.”

Additionaly, the Sacred Annointing, the sacrament of the “Last Rites” like Baptism, removes all sin AND ALL the latent results of sin.

And if that is not enough God permits the Church to offer “Indulgences” [partial or total] specifically to pay off these debts.

For example: [All Indulgences have specific actions to be completed, tht can vary]…

Saying the Stations of the Cross with the intent of obtaining a PLENARY [FULL / COMPLETE] Indulgece and removal of all debt up to the time of the Indulgence, along with Mass and Holy Communion, Confession within a week, and saying a "Hail Mary, Our Father and a Glory-Be for the special intentions of the Pope, can if done worthly, remove all latent effects of sin right up to your earned Indulgence.

GOOGLE" Indulgences" for more information. Thyere are many more ways than the example provided. What an awesome God we have

:thumbsup:that’s true!

 

[bpbasilphx]

If you’ve taken a sin to confession with sincereity, it’s forgiven.

Maybe the grace of Absolution is leading you to make amends for a sin, but this would not “invalidate” your confession of it.

 

[Whitacre_Girl]

Thank you everyone. You’ve all given me a lot of good and incouraging information. It’s just so weird how when talking to someone else about their sin, you are so sure that God forgives absolutely. But then when it is your own, you are left with doubts. I am going to choose to use this guilt, conviction, whatever, to make up for my wrongs. I’m going to use it as a fuel to burn more brightly for Jesus. I talked to my husband about this again, and he says that whatever I have been doing these last few weeks, I need to keep it up. He’s always loved his wife, but he loves this new wife of his even more. (his words…LOL)

 

[Monica4316]

God bless you

 

[teachccd]

Thank you everyone. You’ve all given me a lot of good and incouraging information. It’s just so weird how when talking to someone else about their sin, you are so sure that God forgives absolutely. But then when it is your own, you are left with doubts. I am going to choose to use this guilt, conviction, whatever, to make up for my wrongs. I’m going to use it as a fuel to burn more brightly for Jesus. I talked to my husband about this again, and he says that whatever I have been doing these last few weeks, I need to keep it up. He’s always loved his wife, but he loves this new wife of his even more. (his words…LOL)

And God’s love for you is always infinite…