Another Head Covering Question

[Ohiomom]

Another slight tangent… we always cover our heads for TLM, but I have difficulty doing it for the NO mass. I, too, am worried about a “holier than thou” appearance, but I think it’s more because I have a toddler who has just come into his own and is, at times, rambunctious during mass. I feel like I’d be doing a disservice to the re-veiling movement if people see us covering and yet also disrupting mass. I’m not really sure what to do, so we’ve maintained a double standard, veiling for one type of mass (because we still blend that way), but not for the other.

I also have a toddler and I cover at all masses (I have to attend NO during the week). Regarding little ones, my old NO but traditional parish did not have a cry room (and never will). All parents just take their little ones to the back of the church if they are crying or too rambunctious. I follow that guide now with my little one. Also, I have noticed that I am more hyper aware of what she is doing than other mom’s (or older church members). I have sometimes received comments that she was well behaved and I am thinking to myself “did you miss the constant movement”:bounce:, lol.

I don’t cover for other’s and other’s opinion’s should not really be an issue, imho. There various things I have seen people do who are trying to be faithful to church teaching that can be criticized or judged by people who are less concerned with that. As has been stated, there needs to be more “custody of the eyes”

 

[slyboots]

I love that bottom picture. I would feel much more comfortable in something like that rather than a lace mantilla (even though the mantilla does come from my culture ).

Is this just a piece of cloth? Where is this picture from?

The lady in the darker scarf on the bottom is an internet image I saw. Wish I could credit it. Probably like me the woman uses the long rectangular opaque scarves I am finding in most ladies accesories departments. I always make sure they are wide enough to be a cover over my head and neck area. The length is prenty much a standard length for these kinds of scarves.
And when mass is over and I am in the coffee area I simply drop mine off my head and leave is on my shoulders.

 

[slyboots]

I found this website with lovely things. I realize we cover for God. But surely He made beauty and these are quite beautiful.

anokhiusa.com/all_scarves/index.html

 

[eiram]

Hello everyone,

What a wonderful answer from SLYBOOTS. The problem may be that many women are not “used” to having a veil covering their hair, it would be for them. Once someone is used to wearing something, it’s no longer a problem.

eiram

 

[simple_soul]

I have been reading alot of the posts here. Is it your “general” belief that you are more reverent while wearing some thing over your head than others who do not wear something over thier heads?

 

[RedSoxWife]

I also have a toddler and I cover at all masses (I have to attend NO during the week). Regarding little ones, my old NO but traditional parish did not have a cry room (and never will). All parents just take their little ones to the back of the church if they are crying or too rambunctious. I follow that guide now with my little one. Also, I have noticed that I am more hyper aware of what she is doing than other mom’s (or older church members). I have sometimes received comments that she was well behaved and I am thinking to myself “did you miss the constant movement”:bounce:, lol.

I don’t cover for other’s and other’s opinion’s should not really be an issue, imho. There various things I have seen people do who are trying to be faithful to church teaching that can be criticized or judged by people who are less concerned with that. As has been stated, there needs to be more “custody of the eyes”

I have a toddler and cover too and I think you’re right that many moms are more aware of their own kids than other people. When we’ve gone through a tough Mass when she was squirming the whole time and I’ll also have lots of people tell me how good she was! Last night she was very talkative in a restaurant and as we were walking out another mom smiled and said that she always feels more comfortable when someone else’s baby is being as loud as her little ones are being.

Our Church doesn’t have a crying room either, so I usually take her to the back when she acts up, or to the small room that is used as a confessional.

 

[RedSoxWife]

I have been reading alot of the posts here. Is it your “general” belief that you are more reverent while wearing some thing over your head than others who do not wear something over thier heads?

I can’t say that I’m more reverent than someone who isn’t wearing a veil, because I would never judge someone else’s experience at Mass. However, it’s something I feel called to do and I would not be able to experience Mass fully if my head wasn’t covered because I would feel like I was doing something wrong (because I personally feel called to do it).

In conversations about veiling I’ve noticed that women who don’t veil seem to assume that women who do veil judge everyone who isn’t doing the same thing. In my experience talking to other women who veil I haven’t found this to be the case. I do wish that the practice had never changed and that all women felt called to cover their head when in Church, but I would never judge another woman’s reason for not veiling. I’m the only one who does it in our parish!

And on another note: Slyboots I love all the pictures that you post! I have a bunch of scarves that I brought back from the middle east and I’ve never worn them over my head at Mass. You’re pictures are inspiring me to try something new! I’m usually in a veil or a hat. I’ll have to try some of the scarves we picked up in the West Bank as a head covering instead of just wrapping them around my shoulders!

 

[simple_soul]

[quote="RedSoxWife, post:107, topic:161024"]
I can't say that I'm more reverent than someone who isn't wearing a veil, because I would never judge someone else's experience at Mass.  However, it's something I feel called to do and I would not be able to experience Mass fully if my head wasn't covered because I would feel like I was doing something wrong (because I personally feel called to do it).  

In conversations about veiling I've noticed that women who don't veil seem to assume that women who do veil judge everyone who isn't doing the same thing.  In my experience talking to other women who veil I haven't found this to be the case.  I do wish that the practice had never changed and that all women felt called to cover their head when in Church, but I would never judge another woman's reason for not veiling.  I'm the only one who does it in our parish!  

And on another note:  Slyboots I love all the pictures that you post!  I have a bunch of scarves that I brought back from the middle east and I've never worn them over my head at Mass.  You're pictures are inspiring me to try something new!  I'm usually in a veil or a hat.  I'll have to try some of the scarves we picked up in the West Bank as a head covering instead of just wrapping them around my shoulders!

[/quote]

 

[simple_soul]

[quote="RedSoxWife, post:107, topic:161024"]
I can't say that I'm more reverent than someone who isn't wearing a veil, because I would never judge someone else's experience at Mass.  However, it's something I feel called to do and I would not be able to experience Mass fully if my head wasn't covered because I would feel like I was doing something wrong (because I personally feel called to do it).  

In conversations about veiling I've noticed that women who don't veil seem to assume that women who do veil judge everyone who isn't doing the same thing.  In my experience talking to other women who veil I haven't found this to be the case.  I do wish that the practice had never changed and that all women felt called to cover their head when in Church, but I would never judge another woman's reason for not veiling.  I'm the only one who does it in our parish!  

And on another note:  Slyboots I love all the pictures that you post!  I have a bunch of scarves that I brought back from the middle east and I've never worn them over my head at Mass.  You're pictures are inspiring me to try something new!  I'm usually in a veil or a hat.  I'll have to try some of the scarves we picked up in the West Bank as a head covering instead of just wrapping them around my shoulders!

[/quote]




It is so interesting that you feel called to wear a veil and I feel called to not wear a veil.   I also agree that one should never judge any one else's experience at Mass.
Unfortunately (more times than not) it has been my experience with talking to people who do wear a veil that if you do not cover your head at Mass you have just not been "enlightend" by God to understand that it is more reverent to cover your head than to not and that they will pray that some day you will understand.

 

[slyboots]

It is so interesting that you feel called to wear a veil and I feel called to not wear a veil.   I also agree that one should never judge any one else's experience at Mass.
Unfortunately (more times than not) it has been my experience with talking to people who do wear a veil that if you do not cover your head at Mass you have just not been "enlightend" by God to understand that it is more reverent to cover your head than to not and that they will pray that some day you will understand.

Interesting thought. You feel called NOT to wear a veil. While I cannot imagine that, I believe God does what He does in complete knowlege of our needs. He seemed to know that I could be quieter while covered than I can without. Not more reverent mind you. I have been known to giggle at mass when Baby Nathan says “Hooray” and claps at the end of Father’s sermon. But covering helps me be quieter inside. And I am rarely quiet otherwise.
It helps me focus on the mass. It settles me into worship. It reminds me of the “headship” of Christ and what that authority means for my life. It helps me remember the “headship” of my husband as well.
A simple head scarf that God put into my head to wear, and then I realized He had veiled my heart also.
If God has not asked you for this, so be it. That is between you and Him and I would have no business judging what He calls you to do for Him.
Bless you.

 

[lizaanne]

I found this website with lovely things. I realize we cover for God. But surely He made beauty and these are quite beautiful.

anokhiusa.com/all_scarves/index.html

Ooooooooooo!!! Those are lovely!!

I have been reading alot of the posts here. Is it your “general” belief that you are more reverent while wearing some thing over your head than others who do not wear something over thier heads?

I can only compare myself to myself, I don’t dare ever compare myself to others. I would say that I am much more aware of where I am, what I’m doing, and why I’m there when my head is covered. I see my veil in my peripheral vision and it keeps me mindful of distractions. I am one of those people who do find it very easy to be distracted - one of the reasons I like to sit as close to the altar as possible. So covering my head does help me be more reverent.

~Liza

 

[ac_claire]

I can only compare myself to myself, I don’t dare ever compare myself to others. I would say that I am much more aware of where I am, what I’m doing, and why I’m there when my head is covered. I see my veil in my peripheral vision and it keeps me mindful of distractions. I am one of those people who do find it very easy to be distracted - one of the reasons I like to sit as close to the altar as possible. So covering my head does help me be more reverent.

Well said!

This is exactly how covering helps me too. It’s nothing I expected before I tried it. I tried it because of St. Paul’s exhortation in Scripture and because of the recommendations of my now-fiance and several ladies here at CAF. Once I tried it, I knew it was right for me and it really helps me to focus and “center” my attention, and be aware of where I am and Who I am in the presence of, so much better.

 

[Ohiomom]

I have been reading alot of the posts here. Is it your “general” belief that you are more reverent while wearing some thing over your head than others who do not wear something over thier heads?

No, of course not. Only God knows each person’s heart and externals do not reveal what is internal.

 

[MissMichal]

Slyboots, I have been known to wear a scarf like that, especially when the weather is cool. I have a rainbow-colored one that does lots of neat tricks, like this.

I was thinking of this discussion as I walked around a craft show this afternoon. A lady was selling some very cute headbands that had a brooch or a feather and a bit of veiling that extended across the top of the head. I think they would be perfectly suitable and lovely. They might also combat the two-year-old veil pulling problem. I am thinking of making some chapel veils that have painted designs on sheer fabric–they would be kind of like a mantilla but not lace. Thoughts?

-S-

 

[slyboots]

Slyboots, I have been known to wear a scarf like that, especially when the weather is cool. I have a rainbow-colored one that does lots of neat tricks, like this.

I was thinking of this discussion as I walked around a craft show this afternoon. A lady was selling some very cute headbands that had a brooch or a feather and a bit of veiling that extended across the top of the head. I think they would be perfectly suitable and lovely. They might also combat the two-year-old veil pulling problem. I am thinking of making some chapel veils that have painted designs on sheer fabric–they would be kind of like a mantilla but not lace. Thoughts?

-S-

I loved the picture. I have seen that called a Dutch crown style of wearing a scarf. So pretty.

 

[Ailina]

**Indeed, if a woman will not wear a “VEIL”, she ought to cut off her hair. **

Since my hair is cut short, that means I don’t have to wear a veil! So I won’t.

I don’t understand why some here feel the need to start a petition urging the Pope to command women to wear veils when most of us have short shorn hair already. And it was never tradition in my part of the world to wear fancy Spanish-style mantillas anyways, so why start now?

 

[slyboots]

**Indeed, if a woman will not wear a “VEIL”, she ought to cut off her hair. **

Since my hair is cut short, that means I don’t have to wear a veil! So I won’t.

I don’t understand why some here feel the need to start a petition urging the Pope to command women to wear veils when most of us have short shorn hair already. And it was never tradition in my part of the world to wear fancy Spanish-style mantillas anyways, so why start now?

Hi Ailina,
what customarily did Catholic women in your part of the world wear on their heads prior to Vatican II?
Here they wore scarves ( like I still wear), wear mantillas (which I wear occasionally) and hats.

 

[RedSoxWife]

I just got this picture back and I had to share it on this thread! She loves her veil and it’s staying on her head for longer and longer periods of time. And when it’s not on her head she likes to wrap it around her shoulders or snuggle with it. It makes Mass much easier because she’s usually happy when she has it.

(Please Note: This uploaded content is no longer available.)

 

[Ailina]

Hi Ailina,
what customarily did Catholic women in your part of the world wear on their heads prior to Vatican II?
Here they wore scarves ( like I still wear), wear mantillas (which I wear occasionally) and hats.

Here, in pre-Vatican II days, women wore gaudy, showy colourful hats in summer (not sure St. Paul would have approved of THAT kind of head covering really…), and hoods, berets, toques, with woolen scarves wrapped tightly around the neck, face and head, or anything else to keep warm in our long cold pre-Global Warmed winters (where the temperature was often -30 F or worse, nine months of the year here on the northern prairie), in churches that had lousy indoor heating if any heating at all. Frilly Spanish mantillas and light lacy veils or scarves just would not do, except for First Communions and Weddings (which usually took place in the warmer months anyways). So I am wondered where the “calling to wear the veil” is coming from. Maybe those women who feel such a calling are getting the message mixed up and are actually called to be nuns instead?

However, it is now post-Vat. II, and it is okay not to cover the head. Particularly since the vast majority of us women have shorn hair rather than sexy luxuriant long flowing hair (the kind men find so attractive and distracting), and few if any of us prophesize.

In any case, I am going through that time of life when I am always HOT, so wearing a hat or layers of concealing clothing would be the equivalent of body mortification to me.

 

[Frosty]

Here, in pre-Vatican II days, women wore gaudy, showy colourful hats in summer (not sure St. Paul would have approved of THAT kind of head covering really…), and hoods, berets, toques, with woolen scarves wrapped tightly around the neck, face and head, or anything else to keep warm in our long cold pre-Global Warmed winters (where the temperature was often -30 F or worse, nine months of the year here on the northern prairie), in churches that had lousy indoor heating if any heating at all. Frilly Spanish mantillas and light lacy veils or scarves just would not do, except for First Communions and Weddings (which usually took place in the warmer months anyways). So I am wondered where the “calling to wear the veil” is coming from. Maybe those women who feel such a calling are getting the message mixed up and are actually called to be nuns instead?.

In my parish and the other ones we attended while travelling back in the 1950’s and 60’s, the only women wearing veils were the nuns. The first time I ever saw what people now call a chapel veil was on a trip to New York city with my sodality in the early 1960’s. There were hundreds of other girls attending the same conference from all over the world. For Daily Mass, pretty much all the girls from North America and Western Europe wore either simple hats, berets or a scarf tied under the chin. But there were some girls from Italy and South America wearing short lacy veils and a few from Spain and Mexico wearing mantillas. We Canadian girls thought they were really exotic and desperately wanted to have them ourselves. Why? Mainly because we thought that the lacy veils wouldn’t damage our hairstyles!
A few years later, I was thrilled when my father brought back veils for all the females in the family after a trip to Italy. My sisters, my mother and I were the only ones in the parish to wear them. And that the was case right up until covering our heads during Mass was no longer the discipline.
In the wintertime, many of the women of my mother’s age wore fur hats to Mass. Also there were many who wore hats with little veils that dangled down in front. This was strictly because that type of hat was in fashion at the time. In spring and summer, there were lots of straw hats in a myriad of colours and various sizes ranging from pill-boxes to twice the size of a ten-gallon cowboy hat. In short, most women wore on their heads whatever was in style.