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pianistclare
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We can’t tell you what HE is thinking or or what he is going to do though.
Ultimately, It’s God’s decision.
Best wishes.
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Ultimately, It’s God’s decision.
Best wishes.
L
lakegirl86
Guest
Hello Coleycannoli, I see you posted this a couple of months ago and I just joined the forum and still wanted to reach out and let you know that you are not alone.
In June of 2010 I too sat in my one bedroom bawling my eyes out, wondering how my best friend, the person I thought was my soulmate and the one with whom I would raise a family, build a home and a life, and grow old, could now be telling me that he felt called to be a priest. We had been together for four years, and we’d talked extensively about marriage and children. Looking back, I think he entertained the marriage conversation even as he was quietly struggling with the discernment process, because he was really scared of losing my friendship and the close connection we had, something I was frightened of as well. Change and goodbyes are hard for everyone. That didn’t make it feel, in the moment, like anything less than a betrayal.
I definitely went through ALL the stages of grief. Most of all, I was overcome with feelings that I had not been “enough,” humiliated and angry even as I tried to continue to be friends with him (for WAY too long, not something I would recommend for the emotional health of either parties involved). People would find out about his decision and would, rightly, express joy at the idea of a young man passionate about the priesthood. They would say they were praying for him and supporting him, but all I could think was, ‘How can no one see how painful this is?’
As someone who has dreamed of my own family since I was a little girl, my heart broke a little more every time I had to put on a smile for a friend or family member’s engagement/shower/housewarming/pregnancy/birth, or looked at photos of their special events. And nothing hurts like going to a wedding alone while the one who still has your heart is discerning. Also, though it hurts me to admit it now, I was angry at God for what I perceived was placing me in a terrible situation. It took a long time for me to realize that His amazing, awesome plan was just not what I originally thought it was.
Shortly after my ex’s announcement, I decided I had nothing to lose and applied for and was accepted to a master’s program halfway across the country. I lined up a job and a place to live, and traveled to Europe for a friend’s wedding and spent time there with family, making wonderful memories, before moving. In my new home I made new friends who became like family, focused on school and work, and gained the precious gift of learning who I was on my own, without him, while also growing in my faith. These are all experiences I would not trade for anything, a life that would not have ever happened if I had married my ex.
I graduated, took my dream job and moved back to my hometown, and was focused on faith, family, friends and work. I dated a few guys, nothing serious. Then one night at a party I reconnected with a friend I’d known since college, and suddenly, the reason it hadn’t worked with my ex or anyone else became crystal clear. Though I hadn’t seen it, God had always been guiding me to him, my future husband.
In just over 100 days, almost exactly seven days to the week since my ex dropped the news that he was entering the seminary, I will marry that friend, my soulmate, the father of my future children and the one I hope to still be laughing with when I am 80. Know that you too will one day look into the eyes of the one you love, and you will know that he was, always, the only one God meant for you- like I said, His plan is not always ours to know, but he has beautiful things in store for you. You will be in my prayers!
In June of 2010 I too sat in my one bedroom bawling my eyes out, wondering how my best friend, the person I thought was my soulmate and the one with whom I would raise a family, build a home and a life, and grow old, could now be telling me that he felt called to be a priest. We had been together for four years, and we’d talked extensively about marriage and children. Looking back, I think he entertained the marriage conversation even as he was quietly struggling with the discernment process, because he was really scared of losing my friendship and the close connection we had, something I was frightened of as well. Change and goodbyes are hard for everyone. That didn’t make it feel, in the moment, like anything less than a betrayal.
I definitely went through ALL the stages of grief. Most of all, I was overcome with feelings that I had not been “enough,” humiliated and angry even as I tried to continue to be friends with him (for WAY too long, not something I would recommend for the emotional health of either parties involved). People would find out about his decision and would, rightly, express joy at the idea of a young man passionate about the priesthood. They would say they were praying for him and supporting him, but all I could think was, ‘How can no one see how painful this is?’
As someone who has dreamed of my own family since I was a little girl, my heart broke a little more every time I had to put on a smile for a friend or family member’s engagement/shower/housewarming/pregnancy/birth, or looked at photos of their special events. And nothing hurts like going to a wedding alone while the one who still has your heart is discerning. Also, though it hurts me to admit it now, I was angry at God for what I perceived was placing me in a terrible situation. It took a long time for me to realize that His amazing, awesome plan was just not what I originally thought it was.
Shortly after my ex’s announcement, I decided I had nothing to lose and applied for and was accepted to a master’s program halfway across the country. I lined up a job and a place to live, and traveled to Europe for a friend’s wedding and spent time there with family, making wonderful memories, before moving. In my new home I made new friends who became like family, focused on school and work, and gained the precious gift of learning who I was on my own, without him, while also growing in my faith. These are all experiences I would not trade for anything, a life that would not have ever happened if I had married my ex.
I graduated, took my dream job and moved back to my hometown, and was focused on faith, family, friends and work. I dated a few guys, nothing serious. Then one night at a party I reconnected with a friend I’d known since college, and suddenly, the reason it hadn’t worked with my ex or anyone else became crystal clear. Though I hadn’t seen it, God had always been guiding me to him, my future husband.
In just over 100 days, almost exactly seven days to the week since my ex dropped the news that he was entering the seminary, I will marry that friend, my soulmate, the father of my future children and the one I hope to still be laughing with when I am 80. Know that you too will one day look into the eyes of the one you love, and you will know that he was, always, the only one God meant for you- like I said, His plan is not always ours to know, but he has beautiful things in store for you. You will be in my prayers!
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