In 1985 I got pregnant out of wedlock. I was not told much about sex so I thought I was doing ok on not getting pregnant. We were not using anything, just not finishing inside. I was 17. He was 20. I was about 3 months along before I knew I was. Cause I did not have sickness or any other symptom. When I found at the doc office I was crying at first and then it took about 3 hours and desided it was going to be ok. I could not tell my parents about the baby yet. We were not close at all. I told my fiance’ about the baby. His first sentance was, we can’t keep it. I said I will not give up my baby for adoption. He said no, I mean you are not going to have it. We faught about the baby for about 2 weeks. He gave me an ultimatum. I guess I was too young to make that decision. I gave in and tearfully agreed. I just did it for him.
October 19, 1985, early morning he can and got me. Mom thought we were going to do wedding stuff. We headed out for Beaumont Texas. I begged him all the way down there, please, plaese can I keep the baby. Sobbing and sick from the dreaded feelings for death coming we arrived at the place. There were people picketing out there. They looked me with concern. They could see I was not happy. They were not allowed to come close to the evil place. They begged me not to go in. I wanted just one person to come and touch me and say you don’t have to do this. I was looking at them and just wishing one would come to me. We went in. I was a terrible feeling just as I passed through the doors. I had this feeling one time before early that summer I visited Docow. Evil !!! He went up and paid $250 for the murder of our baby. I sat until my name was called. I was so nervous and sick and broken hearted. I kept hearing the voice you don’t have to do this. Go out and go home. Stop! I didn’t know until I grew up some GOD was trying to stop me. Oh how I wished I had figured that out at the time.
I went back to a room that had a “counselor” that asked me was I sure I wanted to do this. I said no. She said ok and sent me to the next room. I thought she would be the one to help me. I was just another number. The next room had a “nurse” that told me take off everything and taake this pill. It was a valum. They did not ask did I have any allergies to medication. Well I did what I was told and took it. It did not help. Then next in my paper gown I was taken to a holding area where there were about 6 to 7 other girls waiting. Some were joking some were quiet and some of us was crying. They had gotten through all of them and then They called my name. I have never felt sick to hear my name called. The “nurse” came in and said here let me help you. Finally some body that could see I was a weak teenager desperate for help. She lead me back to “THE ROOM”. She said lay down on the table. Yes mam, I answered, still an affraid little girl. I did all that they told me to do. I was still crying and shaking. Nobody would stop it. The “doctor”/murderer turned on this thing that looked like a shop vac. It had a clear lid on top. He pushed me back and I said STOP, I cant do this. Finnnally I brave enough to stop this terrible thing. The “doctor”/murderer told the nurse to sedate me. He told me it was too late. I did not know that they had a needle full of stuff to sedate girls when they changed they minds or just lost their minds. Now nothing had happened to my baby as of yet. I was forced down by three nurses and was given a shot that left me fully awake but could not move. As I lay there not being able to help myself or my baby. I did see my baby. In pieces and blood and amniotic fluid as it passed over the top of the lid of that evil machine. I had my baby ripped from my safe body under protest. I all could do is say I am sorry to my baby I did not get out of there before he/she was murdered. Then after that I was taken to a room that had couchs all the way around the room and this is where we were suppose to recover. The nurses would come by even so often to see if the bleeding had slowded down enough to leave. Finnally mine had but I stiil could not walk cause of being sedated. My fiance’ had to come pick me up and carry me out to the truck. All he could say was hey I am hungry lets go get pizza.