Anti Catholic Husband

[JRKH]

Thanks for your post.

You are welcome. There is much to what you say about this matter - many good points below. If you don’t mind I’ll add a thought or two that I hope will help.

I guess what I mean by God doesn’t care is that he doesn’t care what denomination I belong to. God doesn’t care if I am Catholic or not.

I think that perhaps one needs to distinguish between “being Catholic” and being able to participate in the Church. You ARE Catholic in your heart. No one can take that from you. Unfortunately you are in a situation where you are unable to participate in the Church due to situations beyond you. In this sense you are quite right. God would prefer you to go to the Lutheran Church for now.

I know God cares about each of us, but denomination means nothing to him since denominations are man made.

Well - I take issue with this only in an academic sense because God wants us all to have the fullness of faith that the Catholic Church (which is not a denomination) offers. However…in the practical sense of your current circumstances…He knows you are doing the best that you can.

Being a Christian is all that matters. My mom is Catholic and even she says that I concentrate too much on denomination and belonging to the “right” church. She says that what I need to do is read the Bible and have a personal relationship with Jesus and then I’ll be ok.

I think your mom may be on to something here. Sometimes we can become so focused on something that our outlook becomes skewed. It is important to try to keep a proper perspective and I believe that this is what you are doing…coming to grips with things and determining the best way to move forward.

Also, I was reading a book recently, and in this book a Christian woman said that when something is God’s will things will just fall into place and happen easily. But when you feel like you’re swimming upstream and everything is a struggle and things are not going well, that means you are working against God’s will for your life.

While I think that there is some truth in this, I wouldn’t accept this as a blanket truth…
Struggles can certainly be from trying to impose our will on God, but they can also come from God providing us the opportunity to overcome and to grow in Holiness.

With my desire to be Catholic I am definitely swimming upstream. I have prayed, I have tried to get help, etc and everything I try to do is met with a brick wall.

Understood. I this case (and your mom may have sensed this), it may be that you have been trying to force your will on God instead of seeking God’s will for you. It’s not an uncommon thing…in fact it can actually be part of the process of discerning what God’s Will IS for us.

So, the only thing I can conclude is that it’s not God’s will for me to be Catholic and that denomination means nothing to God. I wish the evidence of my life didn’t point to this fact, but it does. If denomination mattered to God, then he would do something about it in my life. I still wish my husband would love me enough to let me make my own decisions, but he doesn’t or maybe he can’t. I don’t think he intends to be mean, he thinks he is right and helping me. But again, where is God in all of this? I can only conclude (even though I don’t want to) that where God is in this is the Lutheran Church and I am where I am supposed to be, even though I don’t want to be there. Swimming upstream is getting tiring and I need to learn to swim with the current, it’s less exhausting.

While I still hesitate to say that it is not God’s Will that you be Catholic…only that it is not His Will that you be in full communion - for now.
My guess is that he has larger plans for you on this journey…Possibly that through you your husband may be converted.

In any case…I do think you are on the right track. So please don’t think I am being critical of you and your choices. You strike me as being more “Catholic” in your outlook and your desires than some who attend mass every Sunday with no real understanding or regard for the great gift they receive.

God bless you on your journey.

Peace
James

 

[lily22]

Can you have your baby baptized on your own, with his permission?

There is usually something that replaces leaving the Church… an activity, club, something secular, that is drawing him away. It doesn’t take much… even just one word a friend could say, that makes him think it’s not important, if he isn’t grounded. You can put holy water and bless the home

I would work on yourself, bible study, adoration, church

 

[Weissystems]

I can understand how you feel. I married a lady who is a “born again Christian”. After marriage she became anti-Catholic and had a mission to convert Catholics to Protestantism.
All we can do is pray.
Lord hear our prayer.

 

[bobbyhillisabro]

If you were baptized in The Church you must get married in The Church or else it isn’t a valid marraige. Until then, you must live as brother and sister. Yes, as others have stated, you need to keep going to mass, but you cannot recieve communion because of the state of your marriage. You should speak to a priest about your situation. God Bless and I pray that you will have every thing work out.

 

[Steveabrous]

If you were baptized in The Church you must get married in The Church or else it isn’t a valid marraige. Until then, you must live as brother and sister. Yes, as others have stated, you need to keep going to mass, but you cannot recieve communion because of the state of your marriage. You should speak to a priest about your situation. God Bless and I pray that you will have every thing work out.

I would double check this one with a preist. As long as niether of you were married before I think the church recognizes your marriage.

 

[bobbyhillisabro]

I would double check this one with a preist. As long as niether of you were married before I think the church recognizes your marriage.

It is true, if one party is baptized Catholic, they must be married in The Church.

 

[StMonicaGuideMe]

Long story short. Married 7 years, 11 month old baby. Married a non Catholic and didn’t get married in the church. We agreed to get married in the church and I could raise our children Catholic. My husband has gradually become anti-Catholic. He has given lots of reasons for not getting married in the church and now has told me not to baptize our baby. I’ve lost all hope. I stopped attending church. I’m resentful towards him for this. It’s affecting every aspect of my feelings and attitude towards him. I don’t know what to do. I feel like I’m living a lie. I love my husband, but don’t know if I can go on feeling like this.

I understand your pain. My husband and I were married in the church and soon after he became anti-Catholic and is refusing to let us raise any children we have in the church (but he promised at the altar before God and our loved ones…and now says he would rather break that vow).

Do NOT stop going to Mass. You need the strength from it more than ever. Do not let the devil win this one. Have masses said for your husband. Pray the rosary - a LOT. Get a green scapular and hide it under his side of the mattress and pray “Immaculate Heart of Mary, pray for us now and at the hour of our death” once a day for him and for you. Do not stop fighting this good fight.
Also, you can baptize your baby yourself. Canon Law states that if you believe there is a risk, anyone can baptize in “emergency situations”. I would do so. Talk to your priest. Get community support. Do NOT cave. Do NOT give up on your faith. Lean on God completely. God Bless you <3 +