Any good bible verses for my girlfriend

[nperks2004]

This is my first thread posting. My girlfriend (23)and i(24) have been dating for about 6months now and we are talking about getting married. (6 months is normal in my family) I am a devout Catholic and i will not convert to any other religion. She is a evangelical protestant. I told her that i would convert if she could prove something was wrong with my Faith. Like wise she said she would convert if could prove her wrong on faith. Well i won. Now she is holding back. There are so many issues now.

1. Her mom was at one time Catholic. (her reason for leaving the faith was she had bad experiances with the nuns when she was in school.
2. Her father comes from a very strong protestant family
3. She just signed up for classes that had to do with spiritual counceling. The college is ran by Church of the United Brethren in Christ, USA .
4. There is a Catholic university in town that she could have enrolled in
5. Now it seems everytime i talk to her about religion she gets mad.
6. She is a youth minister at her church.
7. She says she feels like she is to deep in her church and it would be so hard for her to leave now.
   
   She is a very great girlfriend and i dont want to break up with her. She has conceided on many of her beliefs and i feel like i would just be giving up on her now. I have been saying the Rosary, Novenas, Mass and there are still promising signs. She said she has not desided yet. But I am up for all the advice in the world. I also wanted to know if there were any bible verses that might ease her pain of leaving her friends and her church. Thank you and God Bless!

 

[ricko]

Brethren, I do not consider that I have made it my own; but one thing I do, forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead. Philippians 3:13

 

[jmcrae]

Matthew 10:39

He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it.

 

[Lukelion]

Proverbs 3:5-6
“Trust in the Lord with all you heart, And lean not unto your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him. And He will direct your paths.”

Jerimiah 29: 11-13
For I know the thoughts that I think towards you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of affliction, to give you an end and patience. 12 And you shall call upon me, and you shall go and you shall pray to me, and I will hear you. 13 You shall seek me, and shall find me: when you shall seek me with all your heart.

 

[Lukelion]

And we know that to them that love God, all things work together unto good, to such as, according to His purpose, are called to be saints.
Romans 8:28

Give your young lady some time to get her bearings, especially if her belief system has just been dumped on its head. Keep appealing to the Holy Spirit, the Spirit of truth, to lead her (and you).

 

[grandfather]

This is my first thread posting. My girlfriend (23)and i(24) have been dating for about 6months now and we are talking about getting married. (6 months is normal in my family) I am a devout Catholic and i will not convert to any other religion. She is a evangelical protestant. I told her that i would convert if she could prove something was wrong with my Faith. Like wise she said she would convert if could prove her wrong on faith. Well i won. Now she is holding back. There are so many issues now.

The agreement you made was unwise and imprudent. Tell her you release her from it immediately and that you will never mention it again to try to get her to convert.

If someone could win an argument on some matter of religion with you and prove to you that your religion was wrong all that proves is that you lost an argument or debate. You did not have the answers. That does not mean there are no answers. All it means is that you did not have them. This is not a reason to change religions.

The Catholic faith has a lot of appeal for those who are seeking and whose eyes and minds are open. Right now it looks like your best girl is not seeking or open. She is happy where she is and closed to change. It is up to God to change her, not you.

It seems you have three options. Marry her and be separated in religion. Go find another woman who is Catholic. Continue to see her and see if any change develops.

 

[joseph_virgen]

It appears you are seeking permission (reasons) to continue in a fruitless relationship . You are a devout catholic, you know what must be done.

In truth, you are doing her more harm than good. You found your path to truth, now let her discover hers. Set her free. Perhaps she will return to you.

 

[Alexius]

This is my first thread posting. My girlfriend (23)and i(24) have been dating for about 6months now and we are talking about getting married. (6 months is normal in my family) I am a devout Catholic and i will not convert to any other religion. She is a evangelical protestant. I told her that i would convert if she could prove something was wrong with my Faith. Like wise she said she would convert if could prove her wrong on faith. Well i won. Now she is holding back. There are so many issues now.

1. Her mom was at one time Catholic. (her reason for leaving the faith was she had bad experiances with the nuns when she was in school.
2. Her father comes from a very strong protestant family
3. She just signed up for classes that had to do with spiritual counceling. The college is ran by Church of the United Brethren in Christ, USA .
4. There is a Catholic university in town that she could have enrolled in
5. Now it seems everytime i talk to her about religion she gets mad.
6. She is a youth minister at her church.
7. She says she feels like she is to deep in her church and it would be so hard for her to leave now.
   
   She is a very great girlfriend and i dont want to break up with her. She has conceided on many of her beliefs and i feel like i would just be giving up on her now. I have been saying the Rosary, Novenas, Mass and there are still promising signs. She said she has not desided yet. But I am up for all the advice in the world. I also wanted to know if there were any bible verses that might ease her pain of leaving her friends and her church. Thank you and God Bless!

Hello nperks2004,

Do not worry. You have been dating for 6 months and while some may indeed marry after that amount of time, it is very soon. What is the rush? Give her time to work out her faith. No reason to leave her, just keep praying for her. Let things fall into place over time…If it is God’s will and this is true love, it will work out in the end…

Prayers and petitions,
Alexius

 

[Fidelis]

1. Now it seems everytime i talk to her about religion she gets mad.

This is a major brick wall. If you can’t even talk about it, it won’t get resolved before you are married. if it isn’t resolved before you are married, it never will be. Judging by what you tell us about the strength of her convictions, you and your children will either be forced to compromise into following her religion, or they will be forever confused in trying to follow both religions, or you will all slip into the practice of no religion at all. Don’t let love blind you – I’ve seen it happen time and again.

 

[grandfather]

This is a major brick wall. If you can’t even talk about it, it won’t get resolved before you are married. if it isn’t resolved before you are married, it never will be. Judging by what you tell us about the strength of her convictions, you and your children will either be forced to compromise into following her religion, or they will be forever confused in trying to follow both religions, or you will all slip into the practice of no religion at all. Don’t let love blind you – I’ve seen it happen time and again.

It never hurts to be patient.

True love never blinds people. Love opens our eyes. Romantic love is confusing. Romantic love can develop into true love, or not. True love is eternal.

 

[Ron_Conte]

You should refuse to marry her unless she converts.
You are not obligated to prove the Catholic Faith to her.
Conversion is of grace, not of proof.

 

[grandfather]

You should refuse to marry her unless she converts.
You are not obligated to prove the Catholic Faith to her.
Conversion is of grace, not of proof.

The reason to embrace any religion is that you believe its doctrines are true, not because you are given an ultimatum from the person you hope to marry. Conversions must be made freely, based on a decision of conscience. Ultimatums always create resentments. Resentments are never good in a marriage. They linger and fester. If the two of you decide to end your relationship, because of a difference in religion, you can do it without resentment, hostility or ill will. You can go your seperate ways with mutual good will.

 

[belgianwaffles9]

I suggest you and her both check out the book “Born Fundamentalist, Born Again Catholic” by David B. Currie (Igantius Press). Aside from being an excellent bit of apologetics, it is basically him writing to his friends and extended family explaining why he decided to be Catholic, and how he came to understand the Truth of Catholicism. He discusses the issues of having to leave a Church you are very entrenched in (he did all sorts of ministry and pastoral work in his Evangeical church, and was even on its board). He also discusses how his wife and children, although initially upset by his conversion, eventually reconciled themselves to the Church along with him.

It seems like he has gone through many of the things both you and your girlfriend are going through, so i think the book would be an excellent read for both of you.

Good luck

• Andrew

 

[revelations]

Be patient with her, my G/F was certainly patient with me. We are stubborn people, and the gears are cranking along in her head. Plant the seed and move onto the next sapling. God will do the watering. I know it is hard to let go of it, but be gracious about it.

Again, my GF was with me and now i am going strong

 

[mercygate]

The agreement you made was unwise and imprudent. Tell her you release her from it immediately and that you will never mention it again to try to get her to convert.

If someone could win an argument on some matter of religion with you and prove to you that your religion was wrong all that proves is that you lost an argument or debate. You did not have the answers. That does not mean there are no answers. All it means is that you did not have them. This is not a reason to change religions.

 

[epostle]

Catholics have no business dating non-Catholics. A majority of mixed marriages end in divorce. I heard of priests who refuse to officiate at mixed marriages for several reasons, but the Church tolerates it on three conditions:

·Both parties must promise that their children shall be brought up as Catholics;

·The Catholic must promise to endeavour to bring the non-Catholic to the knowledge of the truth;

·The non-Catholic must promise to allow the Catholic liberty for the free exercise of his or her religion.

Without these three conditions the Church will not sanction a mixed marriage.

This is from the Catechism:

*Mixed marriages and disparity of cult

1634 Difference of confession between the spouses does not constitute an insurmountable obstacle for marriage, when they succeed in placing in common what they have received from their respective communities, and learn from each other the way in which each lives in fidelity to Christ. But the difficulties of mixed marriages must not be underestimated. They arise from the fact that the separation of Christians has not yet been overcome. The spouses risk experiencing the tragedy of Christian disunity even in the heart of their own home. Disparity of cult can further aggravate these difficulties. Differences about faith and the very notion of marriage, but also different religious mentalities, can become sources of tension in marriage, especially as regards the education of children. The temptation to religious indifference can then arise.

1635 According to the law in force in the Latin Church, a mixed marriage needs for liceity the express permission of ecclesiastical authority.137 In case of disparity of cult an express dispensation from this impediment is required for the validity of the marriage.138 This permission or dispensation presupposes that both parties know and do not exclude the essential ends and properties of marriage; and furthermore that the Catholic party confirms the obligations, which have been made known to the non-Catholic party, of preserving his or her own faith and ensuring the baptism and education of the children in the Catholic Church.139

1636 Through ecumenical dialogue Christian communities in many regions have been able to put into effect a common pastoral practice for mixed marriages. Its task is to help such couples live out their particular situation in the light of faith, overcome the tensions between the couple’s obligations to each other and towards their ecclesial communities, and encourage the flowering of what is common to them in faith and respect for what separates them. *
scborromeo.org/ccc/p2s2c3a7.htm

 

[KarenNC]

This is my first thread posting. My girlfriend (23)and i(24) have been dating for about 6months now and we are talking about getting married. (6 months is normal in my family) I am a devout Catholic and i will not convert to any other religion. She is a evangelical protestant. I told her that i would convert if she could prove something was wrong with my Faith. Like wise she said she would convert if could prove her wrong on faith. Well i won. Now she is holding back. There are so many issues now.

Frankly, you are not yet ready to get married for more reasons than a difference in religions.

Problem 1: Even though you have absolutely no intention of ever converting to another religion, you told her you would “if she could prove something was wrong” with our faith. This was based on a lie to begin with and you knew it, apparently saying it only to manipulate her into doing what you wanted. Apparently she did the same. You need to learn some healthier ways to communicate. Game playing like this is counterproductive, as you are finding out, and only creates more issues.

Problem 2: “I won”. The minute you start framing issues between the two of you in terms of “winning” and “losing”, you create more problems than you can solve by “winning”. See above about healthy ways to communicate. A healthy marriage is not a competition to see who can get the most things their own way. Marriage is a partnership and a lifelong series of compromises.

These problems do not bode well, especially if they are reflective of the ways in which you interact in other areas of your relationship as well. You both apparently knew when you started dating that your religions differed and that your religions were very important to each of you. It is not something that she apparently snuck up on you or in which she deceived you nor did you do such to her from what you have written.

Until you can reach a point at which you can both accept each other for who you are and quit trying to make the other into your idea of what the other person “should be”, whether in terms of religion or any other area, until you are ready to say that you love her and want to marry and live with her exactly as she is right now, do yourselves a favor and don’t get married.

Interfaith marriages can be very difficult at the best of times, even more so when children come along, family issues crop up, etc. A forced conversion is no conversion at all and that appears to be what you are both trying to pressure the other into, which means that it will likely stay an interfaith marriage in actuality, regardless of what it is in name. It will only breed resentment in the long run and poison your relationship if you start it off with a lie.

 

[epostle]

·The Catholic must promise to endeavour to bring the non-Catholic to the knowledge of the truth;

To add to that point, I would say the Catholic “must endeavor”. This means living as a self-giving, self sacrificing husband as Christ loves the Church, it does not mean giving lectures from the couch throne.

 

[grandfather]

Frankly, you are not yet ready to get married for more reasons than a difference in religions.

No one is ready to get married. No one knows what they are getting into or what married life will be like. We learn as we go. We learn how to communicate in marriage and in life. No one is born an expert. I know many mixed marriages that are healthy and many where a spouse converted after years of marriage, never with any pressure or coercion. I know quite a few Catholic to Catholic marriages that ended in divorce. Everyone seems to want to tell the OP what to do, rather than point out options. It is when people are in crises that they need to be ordered what to do. There is no imminent crisis here. There are options. This is not life or death. A little immaturity is not a reason for marriages to fail. Couples grow and change and mature. How can anyone expect a 23 year old to have all the answers and make no mistakes? Lighten up. They could make a great marriage and seem to be both faithful Christians seeking God’s blessing. Everyone has issues. Engagements and courtship are the times to figure them out or not.

 

[KarenNC]

No one is ready to get married. No one knows what they are getting into or what married life will be like. We learn as we go. We learn how to communicate in marriage and in life. No one is born an expert. I know many mixed marriages that are healthy and many where a spouse converted after years of marriage, never with any pressure or coercion. I know quite a few Catholic to Catholic marriages that ended in divorce. Everyone seems to want to tell the OP what to do, rather than point out options. It is when people are in crises that they need to be ordered what to do. There is no imminent crisis here. There are options. This is not life or death. A little immaturity is not a reason for marriages to fail. Couples grow and change and mature. How can anyone expect a 23 year old to have all the answers and make no mistakes? Lighten up. They could make a great marriage and seem to be both faithful Christians seeking God’s blessing. Everyone has issues. Engagements and courtship are the times to figure them out or not.

I don’t expect anyone, 23 or not, to “have all the answers or make no mistakes”. I was 30 and did not have all the answers and still don’t almost 15 years later. However, I can certainly tell a red flag when I see it and, as the poster specifically asked for advice, I have given it.

Yes, there are options. Unlike other posters, I did not say ditch her or continue to browbeat her with a Bible in hopes of “winning”. I said “learn to communicate honestly without playing domination games or posturing before considering getting married”. Actually, I think my post was one of the more hopeful ones.

I stand by my advice. If one goes into a relationship that is based on the expectation that the other person will change into the person they want to be married to or that one has to always “win”, one is almost invariably going to end up disappointed and with not a little or insignificant trouble. Rather than simply “seeking God’s blessing”, he, at least, seems to have put some very specific restrictions on what that blessing can be—getting his way.

Yes, they could make a great marriage, but not until they learn to communicate honestly in a healthy manner rather than play games and to see and value the real person standing in front of them, not the person they want the other to be. Interfaith marriages are difficult, especially if there is family opposition, as it sounds like there may be here, but not impossible. This will only intensify when children enter the picture, in ways this couple cannot really imagine yet. If they hope to weather that, then they need to be able to communicate.

Back to the OP. You said that she has entered a spiritual counseling program. I am sure that there is something as part of that dealing with interfaith relationships. I would encourage you to check it out, as well as talk with your priest about resources for such in your parish. Talk with actual other couples who have been in this position. This might help each of you see the situation through the eyes of the other person.