Any other couples who choose NOT to practice NFP/Fertility Awareness Methods? (Everyone welcome!)

[SeekerJen]

I know and my prayers are with you. Sacrifice of the will is the first one and the biggest one. In this day and age you could go out and make a designer baby. But you don’t. Why? Because you are willing to never bear children rather than disappoint God. Wow! The infertile (and nominally fertile like me) and adoptive parents are also an incredible witness to surprises from God. SeekerJen and you and others are constantly in my prayers. I have tried to offer up every moment of this difficult pregnancy for all of you. You would all be reveling in the pain I wake up with every morning. You would move heaven and earth to be in as much pain as I am. That is truly humbling for me. Sometimes that is the only thing that has gotten me through the day.

I also subscribe to these threads to keep me from strangling the nearest contracepting couple who are so proud of their “stuff” and their child-free lives. Wing it couples remind me that contraception is NOT winning. We NFP folks are constantly being told were are just using an alternative to contraception. You wing it couples are proof that God’s design can work perfectly. I am thankful that you exist.

:hug3:

Thanks, Deb. I’m keeping you and your little one in my prayers as well. Hopefully he or she will soon decide to start being a little nicer to mom.

 

[Convert_in_99]

I know and my prayers are with you. Sacrifice of the will is the first one and the biggest one. In this day and age you could go out and make a designer baby. But you don’t. Why? Because you are willing to never bear children rather than disappoint God. Wow! The infertile (and nominally fertile like me) and adoptive parents are also an incredible witness to surprises from God. SeekerJen and you and others are constantly in my prayers. I have tried to offer up every moment of this difficult pregnancy for all of you. You would all be reveling in the pain I wake up with every morning. You would move heaven and earth to be in as much pain as I am. That is truly humbling for me. Sometimes that is the only thing that has gotten me through the day.

I also subscribe to these threads to keep me from strangling the nearest contracepting couple who are so proud of their “stuff” and their child-free lives. Wing it couples remind me that contraception is NOT winning. We NFP folks are constantly being told were are just using an alternative to contraception. You wing it couples are proof that God’s design can work perfectly. I am thankful that you exist.

Awww…you have me :crying: !!! You are too sweet! Thanks for the kind words and prayers. God bless you and your little one too!

 

[3GirlsRUs]

My DH and I use it. We used to contracept years ago, but grew to understand the beautiful teaching of the Church shortly after our first darling daughter was born.

I am one of those people you may (or may not) know who is hmmmm, what’s a nice way…just short of obsessive-compulsive on the neat-freak side. I have often thought of using a less detailed method (we use Sympto-Thermal), but my mind just can’t stop with wanting to know all the signs. I even STUDY up on the less conservative rules so I can remember them!

Interesting enough, I have developed PCOS the last few years (well, either I developed it or I had it all along and we just learned the symptoms)…my charts were the key to figuring this out. Now, I haven’t (yet) suffered the infertility that often accompanies PCOS…and thankfully have not experienced a miscarriage (those so often accompany PCOS sufferers as well) but I firmly believe it is BECAUSE I have my charts to go on…that is how we figured it out and now I take medication during the last 10 days of my cycle. Now, if we did not conceive that month, the 10 days of extra progesterone simply help my cycle go to term. If I were to conceive that month, those 10 days of extra progesterone get me going and I would then call the Doc for a refill and make an appointment because I end up taking it through the first trimester to try to head off potential miscarriage.

Since developing PCOS, I feel compelled to chart so I can manage my symptoms. Of course I charted before that…but with this health development I feel like I could never stop charting. I need to know when I"ve had anovulatory cycles and when I have had 36+ day cycles or if I suddenly have a 24 day cycle…all of these occurrences could indicate a change in my condition.

ONE side effect of PCOS is early menopause. If my DH and I are called to avoid…sometimes it pains me because I"m 33 and I’m not getting any younger…but then, I am always humbly reminded (especially when I visit this forum) that children are a gift from God and not some kind of RIGHT guaranteed us by living on this planet. Prayers for all those hoping to conceive. And how wonderful for all of you able to live without a chart…you are truly blessed (both with your health and your means) and obviously you are given the grace from God and you cooperate with that grace.

Recently, I read somewhere…and I don’t remember where right now (sorry!) that even when couples participate in the act during fertile days…there is SUCH A SMALL window of opportunity that the egg is living/receptive and sperm reach it…I am just IN AWE at how perfect everything must work WITH GOD that a new human is conceived. God is SO GOOD!

 

[sanctareparata]

Awww… what an awesome witness to our faith you are

thanks!

but you forgot to end your post with “adios!”
ha ha ha! i’ll always remember you now as the AdiosLady. How funny!

 

[bear06]

Well…we have opted not to learn it for now. We want God to give us the children He wants to give, the exact moment He wants to give them. If I would ever have to learn NFP, due to my health most likely, I am pretty irregular. However, I do produce lots of mucous…so that might be chartable.

Again, I want all of the children God wants to send me when he wants to send them to me. This is why a couple that uses NFP should go into it prayerfully and, if possible, with spiritual direction. Doesn’t anyone think that there are times that God actually might not want you to engage in the marital act? Doesn’t anyone out there think that God might want us to use prudence in all aspects of our life? It would seem that to take the position that an NFP using couple isn’t accepting of all the children that God wants to give them because they are using NFP then one would have to also make sure that they are always engaging in the marital act when they think they’re fertile.

Just some thoughts here. I know NFP discussions can often get heated. I’m not mad. I simply don’t care what anyone else thinks. It’s between me, God and my husband.

 

[kamz]

thanks!

but you forgot to end your post with “adios!”
ha ha ha! i’ll always remember you now as the AdiosLady. How funny!

yes… adios amigos

 

[Convert_in_99]

Again, I want all of the children God wants to send me when he wants to send them to me. This is why a couple that uses NFP should go into it prayerfully and, if possible, with spiritual direction. Doesn’t anyone think that there are times that God actually might not want you to engage in the marital act? Doesn’t anyone out there think that God might want us to use prudence in all aspects of our life? It would seem that to take the position that an NFP using couple isn’t accepting of all the children that God wants to give them because they are using NFP then one would have to also make sure that they are always engaging in the marital act when they think they’re fertile.

Just some thoughts here. I know NFP discussions can often get heated. I’m not mad. I simply don’t care what anyone else thinks. It’s between me, God and my husband.

Those ARE good thoughts. I am sure you and many others use NFP the way the Church intended…prayerfully, seriously, and with the blessings of a good priest. I am certain of that, you are all great people.

I guess I am not sure what the problem is here exactly?

My husband and I are always engaging in the marital act. Like I said earlier I produce lots of mucous at a certain time of the month. I know that has SOMETHING to do with fertility, but since I haven’t learned NFP, I am not exactly sure. But since it does have something to do with fertility, and I know that, if we purposely abstained during that time because we thought we might get pregnant that would be very wrong without a very serious reason to do so. Is that what you were asking?

Again, I guess I am confused. But I think we are all in the same book (Church’s teaching on the marital act) just on a different page (method). Does that make sense? Forgive me…I can be very hard to read sometimes.

 

[bear06]

Those ARE good thoughts. I am sure you and many others use NFP the way the Church intended…prayerfully, seriously, and with the blessings of a good priest. I am certain of that, you are all great people.

I guess I am not sure what the problem is here exactly?

My husband and I are always engaging in the marital act. Like I said earlier I produce lots of mucous at a certain time of the month. I know that has SOMETHING to do with fertility, but since I haven’t learned NFP, I am not exactly sure. But since it does have something to do with fertility, and I know that, if we purposely abstained during that time because we thought we might get pregnant that would be very wrong without a very serious reason to do so. Is that what you were asking?

Again, I guess I am confused. But I think we are all in the same book (Church’s teaching on the marital act) just on a different page (method). Does that make sense? Forgive me…I can be very hard to read sometimes.

No real problem. I’m simply pointing out that an NFP couple who practices NFP according to the teaching of the Church is also doing this:

We want God to give us the children He wants to give, the exact moment He wants to give them.

I think that sometimes people (not necessarily you) think that couples who practice NFP don’t want all of the children God wants to give them the exact moment He wants to give them. When people use NFP, they are, or at least should be, cooperating fully with God’s plan. Each couple must do their best to figure out if God wants them to use abstinence or not each and every time they engage in the marital act. God wants us to be open to children in every marital act. He may not, however, want us to engage in the marital act 365 days of the year or even when we are fertile. This is why none of us should be saying “God wants us to use NFP all of the time” or “God wants us not to use NFP all of the time”. God should be consulted with each and every marital act.

 

[Convert_in_99]

No real problem. I’m simply pointing out that an NFP couple who practices NFP according to the teaching of the Church is also doing this:

I think that sometimes people (not necessarily you) think that couples who practice NFP don’t want all of the children God wants to give them the exact moment He wants to give them. When people use NFP, they are, or at least should be, cooperating fully with God’s plan. Each couple must do their best to figure out if God wants them to use abstinence or not each and every time they engage in the marital act. God wants us to be open to children in every marital act. He may not, however, want us to engage in the marital act 365 days of the year or even when we are fertile. This is why none of us should be saying “God wants us to use NFP all of the time” or “God wants us not to use NFP all of the time”. God should be consulted with each and every marital act.

I think you are doing the will of God as He has revealed it to you. I don’t see a problem at all? Maybe we are just saying the same thing differently.

Anyways…keep doing the good work God has given to you. You are fine. God bless you and your life-giving, loving marriage.

 

[Alda]

Hello, I’d like to join this thread if I may. I am a married Catholic female, 32 years old with one child, currently 'winging it. '

I do not know and have never learned NFP though I am considering it. Problem is I don’t know if I have a serious reason to use it other than that I am overweight and currently on an eating program to help me with this. I am overweight to the point where it is unhealthy and I would prefer to lose the weight before conceiving again but I don’t know if this is the right thing to do.

I also suspect fertility problems and think I may have Polycystic Ovaries due to some symptoms I have. sigh I am confused, any advice gratefully received.

 

[bear06]

Hello, I’d like to join this thread if I may. I am a married Catholic female, 32 years old with one child, currently 'winging it. '

I do not know and have never learned NFP though I am considering it. Problem is I don’t know if I have a serious reason to use it other than that I am overweight and currently on an eating program to help me with this. I am overweight to the point where it is unhealthy and I would prefer to lose the weight before conceiving again but I don’t know if this is the right thing to do.

I also suspect fertility problems and think I may have Polycystic Ovaries due to some symptoms I have. sigh I am confused, any advice gratefully received.

I would discuss it with a priest. He’s far more qualified to help you decide if your situation is serious. Weight, for some, can be a serious issue not for vain reasons but for health concerns. It’s quite easy for someone who’s overweight to develop hypertension problems with the added weight, hormones and fluids of pregnancy. If you’re already hypertensive (and again I’m not qualified) my guess would be that you would have serious reason to shed a few pounds before attempting another pregnancy.

 

[shawn34_a]

Again I’ll take the Churches teaching of scripture over individual interpretation. I’m not protestant.

Take it up with the church. At the point of conception God writes his commandments on our hearts. Once we reach that age of reason and can discern right from wrong, the law (commandments) becomes known to us. Through out the OT and NT it’s consistent that God knows what’s in hearts. If you take circumcision Jesus wasn’t concerned about the physical aspect. Jesus was speaking of circumcision of the heart (Romans). Where do you suppose the spirit resides? What do you suppose Jesus was so concerned about? He was concerned about our spiritual lives.

Now to practice NFP to prevent pregnancy is wrong. NFP removes God’s will of pro-creation for which we are commanded to do. Therefore relations without God is nothing but sex.

I would say that it’s not just a personal interpretation. I do enjoy reading the Bible. God wouldn’t give us the inspired word if he did not want us to read it. Revelations 1:3 is a perfect example

Rev 1:3 Blessed is he who reads and those who hear the words of this prophecy, and keep those things which are written in it; for the time is near.

Why would God give us the inspired word if we could not understand it? It makes no sense.

 

[LJN21]

Now to practice NFP to prevent pregnancy is wrong. NFP removes God’s will of pro-creation for which we are commanded to do. Therefore relations without God is nothing but sex.

This is YOUR personal interpretation of the bible and NOT the teaching of the Church. The Churches teaching is that God allows us to know a woman’s cycle so if “grave” need arises we can take appropriate action.

“Do not tempt the Lord thy God.”

 

[wisdom_3_5]

I am wanting to get to know more couples who have opted to NOT use Natural Family Planning/Fertility Awareness Methods. Do any other couples practice this?

I voted we know it but don’t use it. We have been infertile throughout all our marriage, almost 20 years! (7 of which we used artificial BC-we weren’t Catholic then). At 41 I wonder if I shouldn’t start NFP (the doctors couldn’t find anything wrong with either one of us) but I feel I wouldn’t be open to life at that point because we would be using it to avoid a pregnancy.

I think of Hannah and Elizabeth, both conceiving in their “old age” and how important their sons were in salvation (biblical) history. I don’t think God would choose me for a role like that (I sure wouldn’t), but I can’t close the door on Him who knows me better than I do.

 

[LJN21]

Why would God give us the inspired word if we could not understand it? It makes no sense.

That is the EXACT same argument Protestants use to rationalize there dissent of the teaching of the Catholic Church. The truth is you do not have the authority to tell people what the bible says. As a Catholic the understanding of the bible to so be held through the lends of the magisterium of the Church. That doesn’t mean one shouldn’t read the bible daily, it does mean however you are in grave error interpreting the bible outside the Church, specically when doing so comes up with a view that is so dramatically against Catholic Teaching.

 

[shawn34_a]

That is the EXACT same argument Protestants use to rationalize there dissent of the teaching of the Catholic Church. The truth is you do not have the authority to tell people what the bible says. As a Catholic the understanding of the bible to so be held through the lends of the magisterium of the Church. That doesn’t mean one shouldn’t read the bible daily, it does mean however you are in grave error interpreting the bible outside the Church, specically when doing so comes up with a view that is so dramatically against Catholic Teaching.

Don’t be blindly devout. If the Catholic church is so right on every matter, how can it be that Muslims are included in God’s plan of salvation? Everyone is included in God’s plan of salvation if they accept Christ and repent of their ways. Fact is many will not thus they’re condemned already as John 3:16-18 states:

16For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. 17For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved. 18“He who believes in Him is not condemned; but he who does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.

Point being is that the Catholic church tippy toes around sensitive issues. You should be attentive to the answers that the church speaks for in sensitive matters they answer questions with theological dissertations that are not scripturally based.

 

[LJN21]

Don’t be blindly devout. If the Catholic church is so right on every matter, how can it be that Muslims are included in God’s plan of salvation? Everyone is included in God’s plan of salvation if they accept Christ and repent of their ways. Fact is many will not thus they’re condemned already as John 3:16-18 states:

16For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. 17For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved. 18“He who believes in Him is not condemned; but he who does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.

Point being is that the Catholic church tippy toes around sensitive issues. You should be attentive to the answers that the church speaks for in sensitive matters they answer questions with theological dissertations that are not scripturally based.

LOL blindly devout… yeah … okay.

This is not relevant to this topic. If you would like to discuss on what matters the Church can speak with absolute authority on your welcome to start another topic.

 

[aurora77]

I also suspect fertility problems and think I may have Polycystic Ovaries due to some symptoms I have. sigh I am confused, any advice gratefully received.

Hey Alda, it would probably help you to chart for a few months. DH and I had fertility issues and I was able to take months worth of charts in to my new gynecologist and he saw immediately that I wasn’t ovulating (my temps would rise, but didn’t stay elevated long enough for ovulation). In our case, charting was a great diagnostic tool.

If you have symptoms of PCOS, please go to a gyn to get checked out and make sure it’s nothing more serious.

 

[shawn34_a]

LOL blindly devout… yeah … okay.

This is not relevant to this topic. If you would like to discuss on what matters the Church can speak with absolute authority on your welcome to start another topic.

Back on topic. God knows what’s in our heart. He knows why we do certain things. I believed in the teachings of NFP at first. Upon further reflection and studying of the Bible, NFP circumvents God’s will by not trusting in Him. I have a funny suspicion that God knows what’s best for us whether or not we agree. If we lift our voices up in prayer, he’ll answer them according to his will, not ours.

 

[LittleDeb]

Hello, I’d like to join this thread if I may. I am a married Catholic female, 32 years old with one child, currently 'winging it. '

I do not know and have never learned NFP though I am considering it. Problem is I don’t know if I have a serious reason to use it other than that I am overweight and currently on an eating program to help me with this. I am overweight to the point where it is unhealthy and I would prefer to lose the weight before conceiving again but I don’t know if this is the right thing to do.

I also suspect fertility problems and think I may have Polycystic Ovaries due to some symptoms I have. sigh I am confused, any advice gratefully received.

Bear06 gave some good advice so what I am saying is in addition to “talking to a good priest.” That is always sound advice.

Well, some people who don’t use NFP are concerned that just by learning it they may start to rely on their chart instead of God. That isn’t the purpose of a chart for any of us.

If you are able to continue ‘winging it’ then that is where God is calling you to be. Learning to chart doesn’t mean you have to stop listening to God. In fact you shouldn’t. Discerning God’s will is very important whether a chart is involved or not. Since knowledge of fertility is neither condemned nor required by the Church, either way works.

If a couple finds that they are deliberately abstaining (while referencing a chart or not) because they might get pregnant, this needs to be for serious reason only. What it sounds like you are really struggling with is defining ‘serious reason’ in your case. That is really the part left open to you as the couple, with God in control of course.

Personal opinion only here: I would advise that you learn to chart for health purposes. I firmly believe that all women should understand the workings of their bodies from a purely biological perspective. Then, attack your weight issue while still winging it with regards to your family size. Really examine your soul about when you feel “in the mood.” Is God calling you and your husband to be together? Don’t worry about whether you are fertile or infertile, just ask yourselves that question. Basically ask, “Is this God calling us to renew our marital vows or is one or both of us being selfish?”

I firmly believe that if you have the inclining to wing it, then you are probably called there. Some of us absolutely can’t. With my health problems we would be called to years of abstinence between pregnancies if it weren’t for NFP. We are willing to embrace that, should it ever become totally necessary, but are thankful for the gifts that God has given us. God will provide for us if He creates a new life when we didn’t think we were going to. Of course that goes for all of us, charting and non-charting alike.

I hope this helps.